chicaboom Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 I have been on three dates with an amazing guy. He's almost too good to be true, which of course makes me skeptical, haha. Anyways, on our second date he planned a dinner and movie at a really nice restaurant. He made reservations and paid for dinner. He put a lot of thought into the entire date (even choosing a movie with my favourite actress, that I told him briefly about on our first date!). Anyways, during dinner he said "Im very picky". Wtf does that mean and why would he tell me that? All I'm hearing is "i'm so great, no one has matched my greatness yet". Which I know isn't necessarily true...b/c he's not cocky at all and is very humble, reflective and thoughtful (at least this is my impression of him now) Could this be what's "wrong" with him? lol. (I know you all are going to tell me to stop trying to find something wrong, but If it's too good to be true...maybe it is! Just want some feedback from others about what they think this means if someone tells you this? Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 Did you ask him what he meant? That would probably be a little more accurate than any guesses we come up with. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Minnie09 Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 Many people say that. Women do it, too. Actually - everybody I know says they're picky when it comes to dating. Both sexes. Makes them feel less "weird" when unsuccessful in dating, or makes them feel special about themselves, or more interesting......saying it to a potential partner might be an attempt to make THEM feel special. Like I wouldn't date you if you weren't awesome, because I am picky. Could be used in a manipulative manner. Who knows? It's just words. Doesn't really mean a whole lot. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 I have been on three dates with an amazing guy. He's almost too good to be true, which of course makes me skeptical, haha. Anyways, on our second date he planned a dinner and movie at a really nice restaurant. He made reservations and paid for dinner. He put a lot of thought into the entire date (even choosing a movie with my favourite actress, that I told him briefly about on our first date!). Anyways, during dinner he said "Im very picky". Wtf does that mean and why would he tell me that? All I'm hearing is "i'm so great, no one has matched my greatness yet". Which I know isn't necessarily true...b/c he's not cocky at all and is very humble, reflective and thoughtful (at least this is my impression of him now) Could this be what's "wrong" with him? lol. (I know you all are going to tell me to stop trying to find something wrong, but If it's too good to be true...maybe it is! Just want some feedback from others about what they think this means if someone tells you this? In what context was that statement made? Were you talking about relationship goals/partners or restaurants, food, etc.? He put a lot of thought into the entire date (even choosing a movie with my favourite actress, that I told him briefly about on our first date!). -- Even if he's picky about partners, he's showing you he's hoping to pick you. He's listening to what you like and accommodating them. Just let this flow for a bit and continue to observe his actions and attitude. It's too soon to start picking nit-picky stuff like this. Now you're being picky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Minnie09 Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 Unless he was talking about the food. Picky eater. So? Picky eater picky dater.... Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 Did you ask him what he meant? That would probably be a little more accurate than any guesses we come up with. To be fair, Loveshack IS built on guessing. That's all we ever do. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 If he says he's picky, yet he's with you, that's a good thing. People vote with their feet. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 To be fair, Loveshack IS built on guessing. That's all we ever do. True. But usually, and hopefully, we have a little more context to work with. This though is akin to being asked what somebody's text message meant. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author chicaboom Posted June 9, 2015 Author Share Posted June 9, 2015 It was definitely made in context of dating. He said he was picky and I instinctively said "oh no..." outloud, haha. And he said no, i just mean that I only date girls I can have a full conversation with and talk about a lot of things with. I know I am overanalyzing. I guess I've been hurt/disappointed quite often in the past so to find someone who seems near to perfect and treats me so well puts me on my guard. You are right though, he is putting in a lot of effort. On our third date he drove me two hours to a beach b/c he remembered I said I missed being near nature since moving back to the city. Seriously I have never dated a guy who has gone to so much trouble for me. I don't know what to do or how to act. I don't want to become obsessed with him and become disappointed. haha. My guard is up very high at the moment. I'm just so skeptical and cynical now maybe. Have you all ever had anyone treat you so well and then it all go to ****?? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 And he said no, i just mean that I only date girls I can have a full conversation with and talk about a lot of things with. Okay, so he explained what he meant. From the sound of things, I'd take that at face value. And ride the wave as long as it lasts. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 Have you all ever had anyone treat you so well and then it all go to ****?? Yes. There are a lot of people that get caught up in the excitement and don't necessarily have the staying power. You are right to be cautious. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author chicaboom Posted June 9, 2015 Author Share Posted June 9, 2015 Okay, so he explained what he meant. From the sound of things, I'd take that at face value. And ride the wave as long as it lasts. you are right. I think it's hard for me to take what people say at face value. I'll believe it but i'm skeptical. lol Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 Just be cautious..as you would anyway. He is treating you very well which is nice but also possibly a bit too nice. The thing to watch for is whether you can be human around him or not. Some guys will put a woman on a pedestal..all very flattering... BUT. If she is not 'as per' his pedestal expects and she becomes just human some men cannot tolerate that. I only know as I have been on the receiving end of not being how I was 'supposed 'to be. How he imagined I would be and react to certain things in other words. Be yourself, take your guard down and you will soon see how he reacts to that. None of us are perfect all of the time and that is perfectly alright. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author chicaboom Posted June 9, 2015 Author Share Posted June 9, 2015 Just be cautious..as you would anyway. He is treating you very well which is nice but also possibly a bit too nice. The thing to watch for is whether you can be human around him or not. Some guys will put a woman on a pedestal..all very flattering... BUT. If she is not 'as per' his pedestal expects and she becomes just human some men cannot tolerate that. I only know as I have been on the receiving end of not being how I was 'supposed 'to be. How he imagined I would be and react to certain things in other words. Be yourself, take your guard down and you will soon see how he reacts to that. None of us are perfect all of the time and that is perfectly alright. Good advice Gemma. I have never really been in this position before so I'm not sure if I should be ecstatic or cautious or what! But your advice sounds great. So far, I haven't felt like I can't be myself. I have been myself from the very beginning. I have very dry/crass and inappropriate humour and he seems to get that side me of me too. I do sense that he likes to "do things right" whatever that means, but I haven't felt the pressure yet to be that way. If anything I think he probably likes the fact that i don't give a **** lol. Sound advice though. thank you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 I'm a positive optimistic person. (some may call me a Pollyanna) But with my rose colored glasses firmly in place I'm going to go with it's aback handed compliment: he's telling you that you made the cut. Act accordingly. However, it most likely means he's setting you up & expecting you to jump through hoops for him & if you do the littlest thing wrong, even if you don't realize it's something he cares about he'll dump you. Be careful. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author chicaboom Posted June 9, 2015 Author Share Posted June 9, 2015 I'm a positive optimistic person. (some may call me a Pollyanna) But with my rose colored glasses firmly in place I'm going to go with it's aback handed compliment: he's telling you that you made the cut. Act accordingly. However, it most likely means he's setting you up & expecting you to jump through hoops for him & if you do the littlest thing wrong, even if you don't realize it's something he cares about he'll dump you. Be careful. Oh god really? He hasn't expected me to do anything yet. We haven't slept together yet and when we've made out he's been very respectful actually. I hope you are not right! But I will be cautious for sure. It's just so weird for me to NOT be able to find not even one thing wrong with him. Usually in the early stages of dating I have a bad habit of picking out what is "wrong" or what is not necessarily what I would want in an ideal perfect person. And i know I know this is a bad habit and no one is perfect bla bla, but you know what I mean, maybe the guy is a slow texter, maybe he's a little shy, workaholic, too different values. But with this guy, honestly can't find a thing which makes me even MORE nervous and skeptical, lol. Ok I definitely sound like the picky person now.... I'm not going to overthink this anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 I'm a positive optimistic person. (some may call me a Pollyanna) But with my rose colored glasses firmly in place I'm going to go with it's aback handed compliment: he's telling you that you made the cut. Act accordingly. However, it most likely means he's setting you up & expecting you to jump through hoops for him & if you do the littlest thing wrong, even if you don't realize it's something he cares about he'll dump you. Be careful. This is also where I am coming from really. What he said had an impact as it's a pretty string statement so I can understand you feeling a bit 'under presssure'. That's why just be you. You will soon find out if being you is a problem. Go with the flow as you normally would. Link to post Share on other sites
mandymor Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 Usually when someone says their picky it just means they don't date everyone that comes along. So you should feel good about him picking you. Just ride it out and see where things take you and have fun. You still have to watch out for yourself, but don't let it get too much in the way. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mr_dave Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 I would say I'm picky! In my case I would say that with my shy and reclusive personality it would take the prospect of something amazing to make me come out of my shell and take the initiative. I would have to be really attracted to the woman and sense the possibility of something long term for me to brave asking them out/getting their number. For example... I work as a delivery guy, and there is one woman on the round who said to a mutual friend of my colleague that she would "bang me." No idea why, I'm no oil painting.... She very attractive, slim, busty, early twenties etc... but she works in a nightclub, has a child, and gets around a fair bit.... no long term prospect there so I'm letting it slide, and casual stuff isn't for me. My colleague looked at me like I had two heads when I explained this to him... So if I were you OP, I would take it as a compliment. If he gives very few people a chance, but a fair chance when he does, I see no problem with it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
strawberryshortstack Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 Have you all ever had anyone treat you so well and then it all go to ****?? Yes, but that doesn't mean it will for you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author chicaboom Posted June 10, 2015 Author Share Posted June 10, 2015 I would say I'm picky! In my case I would say that with my shy and reclusive personality it would take the prospect of something amazing to make me come out of my shell and take the initiative. I would have to be really attracted to the woman and sense the possibility of something long term for me to brave asking them out/getting their number. For example... I work as a delivery guy, and there is one woman on the round who said to a mutual friend of my colleague that she would "bang me." No idea why, I'm no oil painting.... She very attractive, slim, busty, early twenties etc... but she works in a nightclub, has a child, and gets around a fair bit.... no long term prospect there so I'm letting it slide, and casual stuff isn't for me. My colleague looked at me like I had two heads when I explained this to him... So if I were you OP, I would take it as a compliment. If he gives very few people a chance, but a fair chance when he does, I see no problem with it. Thanks for your reply! It's nice to get a male perspective. I hope he's like you and not trying to find the perfect girl. I definitely have my flaws. But even if I wanted to be something other than myself, I couldn't. So we will see how it goes:) Good on you for holding out for something that could be more substantial. I'm sure you will find your perfect girl soon:) Yes, but that doesn't mean it will for you. Thanks, I really hope not. So far he seems fabulous and I am excited just to see him! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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