Girls, would you date a 26/27 year old virgin?

[Sunberry]

Yes. I don't consider it an issue. As long as you're a genuine person, it can be arranged in no time, haha.

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

Sorry, sort of take back what I said, I guess because I haven't masturbated in 6 days so far, my current record is 10 days so far, maybe it is having an effect on my attitude

[Lois_Griffin]

Im 26 year old virgin, never kissed too. Im not ugly or fat, and im not religious.

I guess if I were a 17 or 18 year old teenage kid, then sure. I wouldn't know the difference.

[Dat55]

18 year old teenagers are too young for me.

[TunaCat]

Someone's virginity status isn't a make or break deal for me. I am still a virgin and I'll be 30 at the end of this year.

 

If someone has an issue with me being a virgin, then they aren't the type of person I should be dating.

[toscaroscura]

I just recently got my heart broken by the virgin I was in love with.

 

Virginity isn't a deal breaker to me, but going forward, I'd be concerned about walls blocking intimacy. That was my man's particular problem. He had been alone so long and was scared. He had no idea how to have an adult relationship nor did he know how to show love to a woman.

 

I think, from now on, I'd prefer a man have at least 1 serious GF under his belt. But then again, you never know who you will love.

[Dat55]

I just recently got my heart broken by the virgin I was in love with.

 

Virginity isn't a deal breaker to me, but going forward, I'd be concerned about walls blocking intimacy. That was my man's particular problem. He had been alone so long and was scared. He had no idea how to have an adult relationship nor did he know how to show love to a woman.

I think, from now on, I'd prefer a man have at least 1 serious GF under his belt. But then again, you never know who you will love.

 

That can be a problem for me:(, i have 0 experience in relationships.

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

That can be a problem for me:(, i have 0 experience in relationships.

 

I guess a lot of women have the hiring-manager mentality when it comes to screening men they want to date or consider dating

[toscaroscura]

I guess a lot of women have the hiring-manager mentality when it comes to screening men they want to date or consider dating

 

I loved him. I would have spent the rest of my life with him.

 

You really need to deal with your extreme suspicion of women.

 

That can be a problem for me:(, i have 0 experience in relationships.

 

You will never get any experience if you never take the risk.

Edited June 25, 2015 by toscaroscura

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

I loved him. I would have spent the rest of my life with him.

 

You really need to deal with your extreme suspicion of women.

 

 

 

You will never get any experience if you never take the risk.

 

Well a lot of dating coaches have said so

[Camaro Guy]

Well a lot of dating coaches have said so

 

When are you going to stop making excuses and start taking charge of your ****ing life?

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

When are you going to stop making excuses and start taking charge of your ****ing life?

 

If there is a way to remove the anger, frustration, bitterness, resentment of what I missed out on, being unable to change the past, then I would

[Dat55]

If there is a way to remove the anger, frustration, bitterness, resentment of what I missed out on, being unable to change the past, then I would

I feel somewhat the same, the things i missed and the lack of experience.

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

I feel somewhat the same, the things i missed and the lack of experience.

 

Yup, the feeling of always being behind and never being able to catch up, that I feel what were supposed to be the best years of my life have gone to waste

[ZA Dater]

Yup, the feeling of always being behind and never being able to catch up, that I feel what were supposed to be the best years of my life have gone to waste

 

Well you have a choice, either look back or look forward.

 

My 20's were largely wasted studying, do I regret many things, the friends, the total absence of girlfriends, yes I do, sitting around with no friends isn't the best feeling in the world but as someone once said, life is what you make of it.

 

I am busy writing a novel, 50 pages completed so far, busy with work, keeping fit.

 

Do I long for someone special, yes I do, do I wonder what its like to be kissed, yes I do.

 

However I don't think one can live thinking of what one missed out on but one should rather live today and remain hopeful for tomorrow.

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

Well you have a choice, either look back or look forward.

 

My 20's were largely wasted studying, do I regret many things, the friends, the total absence of girlfriends, yes I do, sitting around with no friends isn't the best feeling in the world but as someone once said, life is what you make of it.

 

I am busy writing a novel, 50 pages completed so far, busy with work, keeping fit.

 

Do I long for someone special, yes I do, do I wonder what its like to be kissed, yes I do.

 

However I don't think one can live thinking of what one missed out on but one should rather live today and remain hopeful for tomorrow.

Yes I've been trying Yoga and meditating lately, looks like I now need to try counseling

[AVarma]

Life is not a competition. Who cares what other guys do? Losing your virginity early doesn't guarantee you a win at life.

 

Meh. I know a guy who lost his virginity at 14. He's now a successful lawyer with a hot wife. Some people do get everything.

[ZA Dater]

Meh. I know a guy who lost his virginity at 14. He's now a successful lawyer with a hot wife. Some people do get everything.

 

And others don't

[ZA Dater]

You are asking the wrong question. You should be asking whether or not a woman would date you. If you give women a reason to date you as a person, you won't be a virgin for long.

 

Interesting take but lets be honest here, perhaps too honest.

 

If someone is a virgin not out of choice but through lack of opportunity it does imply there are issues that the wider world doesn't like about that person.

 

If I can liken it to this, its like that luminous green car, yes someone will want it but more people would prefer the silver or red one.

 

How we construct our lives and how we construct our being has a massive amount to do with how the world sees us, in my opinion this usually happens between the ages of 14-21, during those years we define who we are, attain opinions and create the template for what we become as people.

 

Sad as it is to say some people are simply like the luminous green car, yes someone may want them but the pool of people is less. Here I need to say I am not talking about physical attributes I am talking about personality and thinking.

 

My own experience as a 31yo virgin suggests I would have been better off following the crowd than I was creating my own path, one that has ultimately lead to me being alone all the time with little to no prospect of finding anyone.

 

Ultimately yes, you can try and reverse the trend, try and make yourself more marketable but in my view you cannot change what you fundamentally are.

 

Females, I harbour no grudges, for the most part, like guys they too look for the best they can and maybe its tougher now than it was before technology but looks do matter for females, as does status, as does material wealth, lets not kid ourselves about that.

 

I grew up thinking it was about who you are but actually dating is about one thing: what can you offer.

 

He who offers the most wins, its simple and sad because I am sure I speak for many here when I say guys like me did believe they could beat the odds and land up with something close to an ideal, reality has taught me this isn't true.

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

Meh. I know a guy who lost his virginity at 14. He's now a successful lawyer with a hot wife. Some people do get everything.

 

Yep some people are dealt with easy cards in life

[ZA Dater]

True, it usually does.

 

 

 

I used to be friends with some people that could take that old green car, put a new motor in it, a sweet paint job, some nice rims, and a stereo, and soon people would be jealous of their old green car.

 

Success is mostly about making the most out of what you have.

 

 

 

Every day you wake up is a new day. You can make new choices. I have changed drastically since I was 21.

 

 

 

You should pay attention to what successful people say. I can assure you, they don't just give up. Former heavyweight boxing champion Rocky Marciano had very few physical gifts, but still became the only heavyweight boxing champion to retire undefeated. According to him, since other guys had more gifts than he had, he would train twice as hard as everyone else, for twice as long. That is how people do well at anything. They just do it.

 

 

 

Everyone seems to want someone ideal, but they don't want to do what it takes to become someone else's ideal.

 

I think there is "working" at work related things but my own experience is working at dating is totally counter productive because no matter what you do, seemingly it doesn't become any better.

 

In my opinion females have a sense when something is "off" and will avoid that person like the plague as a result, hell I have first hand experience with this, if you fail at that hurdle you are pretty much finished, you may as well walk off the field.

 

The only way I can see to prevent this is to be something you are not and hope that is convincing enough. Should that work the second hurdle you will find is a dire lack of relationship experience, again total deal breaker in my opinion and experience.

 

Educate me, how does one become someone else's ideal?

[LookAtThisPOst]

If someone is a virgin not out of choice but through lack of opportunity it does imply there are issues that the wider world doesn't like about that person.

 

 

I even wonder if someone is remaining celibate, by CHOICE, does it really matter to the person judging them after finding out they remained as such into their 30s and beyond.

 

Regardless of the 2 mentioned above, it's probably moot to the other person having found out they are a virgin. Unfortunately, they could care less either way.

 

Unfortunately, there's no nobility or value seen in someone remaining a virgin until a certain age. I figured a major selling point would be that they would likely be disease free....right?

 

Usually, if someone chooses to remain celibate before marriage, it's the woman's choice. A man even saying, "I choose to remain celibate before marriage" is quite laughable to many.

 

It's kind of like a person who doesn't drink that winds up being alienated by his peers because they like to drink in excess and once they find out they aren't a drinker....they think there's something wrong with him/her or...they think THEY are judging THEM secretly, even though they aren't reading their minds.

 

It's like if someone is guilty of vices in life comes across someone that doesn't come across those who pretty much indulgent free, they judge them....Kind of like reverse racism .

 

Everyone seems to want someone ideal, but they don't want to do what it takes to become someone else's ideal.

 

I don't expect to become someone's ideal, if they cannot accept me for who I am, then screw them.

 

Educate me, how does one become someone else's ideal?

 

This is something that there's no straight "ideal" answer for as it depends on the person you're trying to win over. There's no GENERAL rule into becoming someone's ideal, it's just a broad statement that can be left up to interpretation.

Edited July 10, 2015 by LookAtThisPOst

[ZA Dater]

I even wonder if someone is remaining celibate, by CHOICE, does it really matter to the person judging them after finding out they remained as such into their 30s and beyond.

 

Regardless of the 2 mentioned above, it's probably moot to the other person having found out they are a virgin. Unfortunately, they could care less either way.

 

Unfortunately, there's no nobility or value seen in someone remaining a virgin until a certain age. I figured a major selling point would be that they would likely be disease free....right?

 

Usually, if someone chooses to remain celibate before marriage, it's the woman's choice. A man even saying, "I choose to remain celibate before marriage" is quite laughable to many.

 

It's kind of like a person who doesn't drink that winds up being alienated by his peers because they like to drink in excess and once they find out they aren't a drinker....they think there's something wrong with him/her or...they think THEY are judging THEM secretly, even though they aren't reading their minds.

 

It's like if someone is guilty of vices in life comes across someone that doesn't come across those who pretty much indulgent free, they judge them....Kind of like reverse racism .

 

 

 

I don't expect to become someone's ideal, if they cannot accept me for who I am, then screw them.

 

 

 

This is something that there's no straight "ideal" answer for as it depends on the person you're trying to win over. There's no GENERAL rule into becoming someone's ideal, it's just a broad statement that can be left up to interpretation.

 

I wish there was an answer as to how to appeal to someone you like, without selling out on who you are.

 

My personal opinion 26/27 isn't too old to have had no experience, 29/30 is maybe a bit odd but I guess a lot of it is how one carries oneself and whether it is blatantly obvious one is inexperienced with relationships.

 

Philosophically a large part of me believes being a good person is enough but it isn't, an equally large part of me thinks that being clever is enough, it isn't.

 

No, the reality is you attract someone based on appearance and solely on that, yes you can sometimes impress with good English, good conversation but the fundamentals are looks. Knowing that nothing you can do can change that fact is perhaps one of the hardest things to live with and one that keeps me up at night a fair bit.

 

You are further disadvantaged if you wear inexperience on you sleeve, in my opinion that makes an athletic slim guy as attractive as a hugely obese one.

 

Yes, nobody is saying nice females should choose inexperienced guy, nor am I saying guys must lower their standards but it would be nice, just sometimes to be able to punch above ones own weight but again I found out the crash down to earth is brutal and extremely painful.

 

Bottom line if you haven't had any by 30-31 your best bet is to

: build up some material wealth to try and woo people

: go to the gym to look like some muscle bound body builder.

: create a lie that impresses females

: resign yourself to never getting any

: swallowing your morals and paying for it.

: become emotionally cold which allows you to simply not care or care a lot less.

 

I think even the most jaded virgin on this forum (I may be up for the title) will admit they still have hope, however small that hope may be.

[LookAtThisPOst]

When I was in high school, I admit, I never had sex, but yet, the cheer leaders were banging their football playing boyfriends on their summer vacations out at some summer home of their parents. My upbringing taught me not to participate in behavior at that age.

 

Even if there were no jock situation, there'd be these teen pregnancies, and I knew better not to get sexually involved with a woman prior to becoming a legal adult. Who needs that kind of headache. There was this one pregnant girl in my class that kept reminding me of just that. Something I didn't want to deal with.

 

Of course, the boys would talk about getting BJ's under the bleachers or whatever that some girl did in their class to them. I stayed out of those conversations.

 

Some never even went to the prom nor had a prom date....I think these are the beginnings of a man going into a transition from out of high school into the adult world. Sometimes you were considered flawed if you didn't get to bang a chick in a rented hotel room on your prom night. The movie "American Pie" pressed this as well as some of the 80s "coming of age" movies. "Get laid on your senior year of high school, or else, be labeled a social pariah!"

 

I recall an article recently, about how young men aren't relating to women the way they did in the olden days. For instance, there was some kind of church dance going on...the parents would be privy to this and would push their sons to ask some girl to the dance.

 

The boys seemed to lack some kind of motivation to do so as some dances turned out to be two genders standing across from each other on either side of the room, music playing, but no one on the dance floor.

 

Some parents used some kind of incentive to ge their their boys ask girls to the church dance. The parents would be like, "So how come you didn't ask your friend Susie to the dance" and they'd respond, shrugging shoulder "I dunno."

 

Basically saying, that these Jr. High aged boys are having a hard time asking women out in a traditional sense as opposed to our 1940s or 50s counter-parts. It's like...something is missing in these guys/boys to interact with women.

 

This kind of explains the threads popping up of "I'ma man, I'm this age...and I'm still a virgin....what does this mean for me?"

 

Typical responses that are given and of course NON-encouraging, "Dude, you're screwed, no woman will ever want you!" If you do want to get some action, please....find a hooker!"

 

Yeah, talk about lowering yourself to a level of pond scum to do that...and of course, if a woman ever found out you went to see a prostitute/escort....well, say sonyonora there, too.

 

Yes, I've seen ludicrous advice given on these boards about "seeing a hooker, you'd be better off."

 

Anyhow, also, not to bash women, but women haven't made it much easier for men to ask them out...with all the game playing that goes on, there are just some men who aren't willing to go along with the game playing.

 

I got a friend of mine, he pretty much gives up after 1 or 2 times tops when calling a woman and her NOT returning his calls. Then women proceed to tell him he "Gives up too easily, you need to keep pursuing!"

 

Of course he refuses this advice as he's not willing to put up with this behavior...some of these men are likely to "giving up too easily" and winding up dateless or of course unlaid on a Sat. night.

 

I wish there was an answer as to how to appeal to someone you like, without selling out on who you are.

 

My personal opinion 26/27 isn't too old to have had no experience, 29/30 is maybe a bit odd but I guess a lot of it is how one carries oneself and whether it is blatantly obvious one is inexperienced with relationships.

 

Philosophically a large part of me believes being a good person is enough but it isn't, an equally large part of me thinks that being clever is enough, it isn't.

 

No, the reality is you attract someone based on appearance and solely on that, yes you can sometimes impress with good English, good conversation but the fundamentals are looks. Knowing that nothing you can do can change that fact is perhaps one of the hardest things to live with and one that keeps me up at night a fair bit.

 

You are further disadvantaged if you wear inexperience on you sleeve, in my opinion that makes an athletic slim guy as attractive as a hugely obese one.

 

Yes, nobody is saying nice females should choose inexperienced guy, nor am I saying guys must lower their standards but it would be nice, just sometimes to be able to punch above ones own weight but again I found out the crash down to earth is brutal and extremely painful.

 

Bottom line if you haven't had any by 30-31 your best bet is to

: build up some material wealth to try and woo people

: go to the gym to look like some muscle bound body builder.

: create a lie that impresses females

: resign yourself to never getting any

: swallowing your morals and paying for it.

: become emotionally cold which allows you to simply not care or care a lot less.

 

I think even the most jaded virgin on this forum (I may be up for the title) will admit they still have hope, however small that hope may be.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I've even turned down FWB sex with women on the chance I thought it was rather sleezy for them to offer. When I'd be dancing at a Meetup, I knew a couple of women that would get up close to me, dancing....and in a alcohol induced conversation (and breath)....they'd whisper to me that they'd want to do me in her car ...I'd pretend I didn't hear because of the music.

 

So I've had missed opportunities to get action as some men would jump on such an opportunity.