lino Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 When I first joined this website, I saw someone write something that changed me somewhat. 'Women can tell you what they want but they can't tell you what they need' It is so true and it stopped me from trying to learn about women from listening to women. To learn to become better with them you can only learn this from other men who are excellent with women, and in real life, not on the internet. Ebooks, pick up artists, dating gurus, etc are all con artists trying to wring money out of desperate men. Much like dodgy mechanics try to shaft women out of money when they service their car. Befriending and regularly being around men who are successful with women is the key. It's always helped me. And of course, everyone knows a late twenties virgin is as desirable as a hook worm. Not even worth discussing IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 And of course, everyone knows a late twenties virgin is as desirable as a hook worm. Not even worth discussing IMO. In which case I at 31yo, may as well give up. Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 Regarding these frequent "I'm a 20-something male virgin" post, we may have to put this on some of the women as they've far made dating more difficult with the game playing, shallow and flakiness. If women were less like this, we'd have less male virgins that are at the age they are these days. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dat55 Posted June 14, 2015 Author Share Posted June 14, 2015 (edited) Maybe is better to give up on this, seems like its too late for me, and i dont know how to kiss (never kissed), that makes things worse for me. Edited June 14, 2015 by Dat55 Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 Maybe is better to give up on this, seems like its too late for me, and i dont know how to kiss (never kissed), that makes things worse for me. Don't worry I haven't been kissed either lol. I think each circumstance is different, you may have a better chance than me and vice versa, in my opinion depends very much on what one likes and how marketable one is. Link to post Share on other sites
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 Over 30 and then maybe should lie Link to post Share on other sites
lino Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 In which case I at 31yo, may as well give up. I wouldn't give up. Just don't tell any prospective girl you are one. Link to post Share on other sites
lino Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 Regarding these frequent "I'm a 20-something male virgin" post, we may have to put this on some of the women as they've far made dating more difficult with the game playing, shallow and flakiness. If women were less like this, we'd have less male virgins that are at the age they are these days. Not necessarily. They can't help what they're attracted to. The bullsh#tting about what gets them wet is what I think is wrong as a lot of blokes get mislead at a young age but then get hit with reality. Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 I wouldn't give up. Just don't tell any prospective girl you are one. I don't have to its as obvious as day I wouldn't even know how to kiss. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dat55 Posted June 15, 2015 Author Share Posted June 15, 2015 I don't have to its as obvious as day I wouldn't even know how to kiss. Yup, they will find right way. Difficult to hide this. Link to post Share on other sites
AD1980 Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 I'm 35 so I'm pretty much finished Link to post Share on other sites
lino Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 (edited) I don't have to its as obvious as day I wouldn't even know how to kiss. I saw you in another thread you have the possibility of meeting a girl you found on tinder. In your position I'd be doing all possible to get some action from her. It's got to start somewhere mate:) You have catching up to do so make the most of this chance. Edited June 16, 2015 by lino Deleted extra word. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 I saw you in another thread you have the possibility of meeting a girl you found on tinder. In your position I'd be doing all possible to get some action from her. It's got to start somewhere mate:) You have catching up to do so make the most of this chance. She doesn't interest me at all and I am not going to use someone and lead them on for my own selfish endeavour to get some experience. Link to post Share on other sites
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 If a woman is over 25 and never had a boyfriend, its usually because she chooses to be single Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 If a woman is over 25 and never had a boyfriend, its usually because she chooses to be single I think this is very general, there are reasons some females cant find bf's but I maintain its easier for females to find bf's than it is for guys. However, I do sometimes wonder about females who are perpetually single. Link to post Share on other sites
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 I think this is very general, there are reasons some females cant find bf's but I maintain its easier for females to find bf's than it is for guys. However, I do sometimes wonder about females who are perpetually single. Ya and I hate it whenever people make the argument, by saying for every girl that has a boyfriend, a guy has a girlfriend, DUH I KNOW THAT!!!, but the guy has to do all the work in order to make a date or relationship happen!!! Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 Uh, that's debatable, to say the least. No it isn't. YOU may choose to make it a competition, but there are only the games you choose to play. Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 Yeah I don't know that I wholly buy the 'it doesn't matter' claim, unless one is talking about conservative religious types who positively value virginity. If a guy doesn't have many friends, women will often wonder what's wrong with him (and operate from the assumption that there must be something wrong with him to not have many friends) and count it against him; that much is admitted pretty openly. So if a guy has no experience with women, I expect they would deduce the exact same thing: 'how can a guy go so long without getting any women to be willing to sleep with him?Wonder what's wrong with him.' I don't place value on a guy being able to get women to sleep with him. I place value on a guy who treats women with respect and kindness and who is open to building a relationship. I never have - even in my 20s, there was nothing about a "player" type that intrigued me or attracted me. I have ALWAYS been attracted to the shy guys with the cute smiles who blushed when I talked to them. The only problem was that I was a shy girl, and they were shy guys, no neither of us would make the first move! Now, I WOULD want to know WHY a guy in his late 20s and beyond is a virgin. Is he simply shy, or does he have larger issues? Does he have "normal" attitudes toward relationships, sex, intimacy, etc? But I wouldn't walk away from a guy without getting answers to those questions. Simply being a virgin is a "meh" for me...doesn't matter one way or the other. People estimate the value of things (and people) from how much other people value them. I do not relate to this at all. I like what I like. I have always liked what I like. I may see a trend that resonates with me, but I like it because yay, they finally came out with a trend *I* like - not because others like it. Can anyone really deny that women generally like the popular guy who everyone is friends with; and related to that, the guy who all the other women like? If the popular guy is kind and respectful, I might like him. I might like being around him. But date him? I don't know. Just never been the type of guy I have been attracted to. And again - whether other women like him or not doesn't matter a whit to me. And consequently, the guy who has lots of experience with other women? No. If I was just seeking a one-night-stand for physical satisfaction, I can see where it may be advantageous to find a romeo who knows women's bodies well. But for a relationship? No. I do not want someone who knows what makes OTHER WOMEN tick. I want a guy who can learn MY body and quirks and likes and dislikes, and learn together what works best for us and the way our bodies fit together. It seems like a case of, on one had, people will say what they think is the 'right answer', the position to which they at least think they aspire, and then there's the more realistic, pragmatic, and cynical truth of the matter. Everyone is different. I am sure that there are people who only want what others want. Who gain some kind of personal value by "winning" what others want or have had. I am not, and have never been, that kind of person. And I know I am not the only one. Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 I don't have to its as obvious as day I wouldn't even know how to kiss. Oh I am sure you would figure it out. You've seen romantic movies, right? And no, it wouldn't be obvious you are a virgin. Every 2 people fit and move together differently. The first time with someone is awkward most of the time, as you figure each other out. No worries. And don't give up! Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 She doesn't interest me at all and I am not going to use someone and lead them on for my own selfish endeavour to get some experience. Maybe she is interested in sex too? Have you asked her if she'd be interested in just hooking up? She may say no - but she may say yes. It isn't using if both people know what it is about. Link to post Share on other sites
johndoe2 Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Maybe she is interested in sex too? Have you asked her if she'd be interested in just hooking up? She may say no - but she may say yes. It isn't using if both people know what it is about. This seems like a sure way to get slapped. Aren't we never supposed to ask a woman if she wants to hook up? Link to post Share on other sites
johndoe2 Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 I'm 35 so I'm pretty much finished Lol, my standard response, "there are always hookers!" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jsp32020 Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 (edited) It's never too late. I do feel somewhat vindicated lol, I lost my virginity at 21 which doesn't sound so bad looking back at it now. I was (still am ) a good looking guy and in all the "cool" circles where all of my friends were having sex, and I had a lot of girls that had crushes on me. When it came down to it, for some reason I was just petrified of I don't know, having the confidence or skills, to take things from talking on campus to phone and wind up in the bedroom eventually. The one or two that I would really try with never went far, so I guess maybe that was a blow to my confidence. It finally took a random surge of confidence on a cute girl that seemed to be easy pickings at a club one night to talk to and eventually we dated for several years. I admitted to her years later and she was like "oh, I get it now." Weird how almost like it was in 40 Yr Old Virgin, people can almost tell when you haven't had sex yet. People thought I was gay, and oddly after I started screwing, a lot of these occasional weird advances from gay men I'd get started not happening anymore. Edited June 18, 2015 by jsp32020 Link to post Share on other sites
SpiralOut Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 It makes me feel uncomfortable. It's not so much that I think anything is wrong with the guy. I had a bad experience with my first boyfriend. We gave our virginity to each other and afterwards he said he regretted it. Since then I've had the chance to take another man's V but I chose not to. I didn't want to risk that again. If I really liked someone, then I wouldn't dump him for it but it would stress me out. Link to post Share on other sites
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Another thing that enrages me, pisses me off, is that guys get criticised more than women do for whining, complaining, we are expected to be the gender that takes more responsibility and "does something" about it, I don't care if it is the way it is, I don't like it. Link to post Share on other sites
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