Should I have apologized?

[juicyjencouture]

I've been on and off with my FWB for over a year.

 

Last year when we began things, his ex gf tried to follow me on my social media accounts. I didn't really care since I was busy with my life but I had asked my FWB about it and he said "do not accept her, she's crazy." I kind of thought this was weird but continued to think nothing of it.

 

Fast forward to the beginning of this year- we were off until May then we started talking again. I noticed his ex gf was at his bday party and thought "hmm that's weird since they apparently weren't friends." She was also commenting on all his IG pics which made me start to think things were not off between them. I continued to see my FWB but then he decided to call it off. He said there were too many feelings between us(me and FWB) and it wasn't the right time to do this and said maybe we could pick things back up later.

 

I thought "okay, I can deal with this nbd" and continued on with my day. 3 days later it was the weekend and our mutual friend posted a pic of my FWB celebrating his ex gfs bday. Obviously I was like "wtf is going on" and confronted my FWB. He said they were just friends and nothing was happening and continued to try and prove himself the whole night.

 

This is still bothering me. My intuition says to not believe him. I texted him today to tell him I didn't believe him and he LOST IT on me. He immediately called and was like "I can't believe you don't believe me. Do you want my ex to call you and tell you we're not dating? I'm almost at the point where I'm going to block you out of my life again."

 

Should I apologize? I realize FWB is just a friends with benefits but obviously we both cared and didn't really treat it that way.

 

Thoughts? I'm curious about others opinions on this

[Keenly]

His knee here defensive reaction says it all.

[minime13]

I've been on and off with my FWB for over a year.

 

Last year when we began things, his ex gf tried to follow me on my social media accounts. I didn't really care since I was busy with my life but I had asked my FWB about it and he said "do not accept her, she's crazy." I kind of thought this was weird but continued to think nothing of it.

I bet that he was assuring her that you guys were just friends, and there was nothing really going on.

Fast forward to the beginning of this year- we were off until May then we started talking again. I noticed his ex gf was at his bday party and thought "hmm that's weird since they apparently weren't friends." She was also commenting on all his IG pics which made me start to think things were not off between them. I continued to see my FWB but then he decided to call it off. He said there were too many feelings between us(me and FWB) and it wasn't the right time to do this and said maybe we could pick things back up later.

He probably felt things were moving past FWB, and didn't want them to.

I thought "okay, I can deal with this nbd" and continued on with my day. 3 days later it was the weekend and our mutual friend posted a pic of my FWB celebrating his ex gfs bday. Obviously I was like "wtf is going on" and confronted my FWB. He said they were just friends and nothing was happening and continued to try and prove himself the whole night.

Like it or not, it's not your business to confront him about this. He has no obligation to tell you anything, really.

is still bothering me. My intuition says to not believe him. I texted him today to tell him I didn't believe him and he LOST IT on me. He immediately called and was like "I can't believe you don't believe me. Do you want my ex to call you and tell you we're not dating? I'm almost at the point where I'm going to block you out of my life again."

 

Should I apologize? I realize FWB is just a friends with benefits but obviously we both cared and didn't really treat it that way.

 

Thoughts? I'm curious about others opinions on this

 

I don't know if you need to apologize or not, but you need to go a while without talking to him. You got too attached in a FWB situation. When you start saying "we both..." anything, you should stop. FWB is just that - friends who sleep together. There is no obvious inference that you were more because it just seemed more special. That's a natural reaction to becoming sexually intimate with someone on a regular basis, but boundaries were set so that the obligation to make it more than it was never existed.

 

Besides he broke it off, so he certainly owes you no explanation for what he's doing with other people.

 

If you can't deal with him possibly engaging other people this way, then you need to release him from your life for a while, until you're okay with that possibility.

[Spectre]

My thing is..as someone else said he does not owe you anything. He really doesn't and yet you said he spent the rest of that night of the b-day thing trying to prove himself to you. Keep in mind he owes you nothing and he still tried to do this. With this context, why wouldn't you believe him?

 

I think you need to read between the lines: he tells you he is gaining feelings too strong and needs to end things. A few days later you confront him about his ex and his concern is just to try to prove himself to you. It seems to me like he is into you and doesn't want to admit how hard it is to resist taking things to beyond FWB. His knee jerk reaction to your accusation says a lot. Some might think that looks guilty and it might be due to guilt, or it might of been because he doesn't quite know what to do with his feelings for you.

 

Also I am confused because you said you both cared and didn't treat it as merely a FWB, but then you also say when you ended it your response was essentially "no big deal".

[smackie9]

"I'm almost at the point where I'm going to block you out of my life AGAIN."

 

This tells me you have pushed your boundaries more than once with him.

 

He decided to ditched the FWB with you, so whatever he does after is none of your business. If he is dating his ex or wants to get back with her he doesn't need to tell you about it. I agree he owes you nothing. You caught feelings for him, that's something you are going have to deal with. Your emotions got the best of you, maybe FWB isn't your thing.