Flowers2015 Posted June 11, 2015 Share Posted June 11, 2015 My hubby and I have been married for 4 years and been together for 7 years. I've noticed over the past 2 years or so that he is slowly becoming unattached, and distant. I feel as though he is playing with my emotions. when I'm trying to communicate with him, he always replies with the opposite of everything, so not to create an emotional bond. Yes, he has his own likes and dislikes, but this is different. By not sharing, there's no bond and thus no need to talk. We don't talk much, and it really bothers me. I've tried talking to him about this, explaining to him what I need, what bothers me etc. but he never, ever says anything - just stays quiet, and then I ask him what he thought about what I just said - and nothing, he says he doesn't have anything to say .... So ... More emotional disappointment and zero bonding again. Is this normal? I have never had many guy friends and don't have anyone to compare him to ... Link to post Share on other sites
redtail Posted June 11, 2015 Share Posted June 11, 2015 No, not normal. Do you suspect anything besides apathy? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Flowers2015 Posted June 11, 2015 Author Share Posted June 11, 2015 Yes. I think he's bi sexual. I don't have any evidence, but his behaviour is just weird and I just can't explain it, other than I think he's bi. I feel as though I'm a "beard" - very small things are creeping up and I really need to talk to someone about all this stuff - which is why I came to this forum - but I don't want to post my story and then be bashed. I'm not looking for advice - I just want someone to help me make sense of past and current events - and maybe I'm wrong - maybe something else is going on - but my intuition is very strong. Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted June 11, 2015 Share Posted June 11, 2015 You won't be bashed because you haven't done anything wrong. You haven't really posted much behavior for why your husband is gay besides his looking at men whilst driving or walking. We'd need to know more. If you have no other reasons to believe he is gay or bi sexual..then I would say he might be suffering from depression. I think if he was gay you'd of probably began to notice earlier then in the last 2 years only. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Flowers2015 Posted June 11, 2015 Author Share Posted June 11, 2015 My hubby is a quiet, shy guy, he doesn't play or watch sports, he doesn't drink or go out with friends. He's a loner. The year before we got married and we were living together is when I started to notice some weird behaviour. He would ask me once in a while to leave and go away - somewhere, for the weekend. maybe he needed space. I use to go swimming at the local pool every night and every time I came home, there was always the same car parked in front of the house - and weirdly, after being home for 5 min it would disappear. Then we had many life changes and about 2 years into our marriage things got weird. He was working from home at a new job for a company out of the country and I work from home as well. Out of the blue, he would abruptly leave the house during the day and say he needs to go to Home Depot. Once he abruptly left and said he needed to fill the BBQ tank - but drove off without the tank! Why would he need to leave during the day - when he's suppose to be working? Once in a while I've come into his office while he's there and he would immediately close his laptop so I couldn't see what he was doing. I've tried talking to him before and he never says anything at all. If the tables were reversed and he asked me if I was cheating on him, I'd be shocked and want to know why he'd think like this. But he wasn't shocked. Once he told me that I didn't have any proof. That statement screams to me that he is cheating. He's very masculine in looks and interests and has never worn clothing that either looks good or fits him properly. Last summer he was very interested in getting jeans and shorts that looked good on him. He also needed my opinion for new glasses and new shoes. He also shaves certain areas of his body that no straight man would shave - and enjoys telling me that he shaved - why do I need to know this? I was frought with stress whether I really truly wanted to know whether he was cheating on me or not - and I came to the conclusion that it's better to know - than to be guessing. But I want to know more but just don't know how to get the proof. I can't find anything on his cell or computer. What's next? What do you think? Please no bashing - Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 11, 2015 Share Posted June 11, 2015 Are you two intimate in bed? Are you two happy at other times? Do you laugh together and go out on date nights? He acts like he doesn't 'like' you a lot of the time. If you are concerned he's bi, possibly gay or cheating on you, hire a PI. You say he's a loner, but does he go out without you? Work late? Work weekends? Are there any red flags that he could be cheating on you? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts