JustAGirl Posted March 16, 2001 Share Posted March 16, 2001 Hi... Thanks for your responses... This is a follow up, i'm confused again... We ended up talking last night about what happened... He said the letter he gave me wasn't meant as a break up note (though it sure sounds like one) , and that the next day he decided to "give me another chance" (ugh, i dont like that wording of his) ... but I was cold , distant, etc. so he felt like he should gave up.... I dont know why but i basically said maybe there's still a chance for this relationship, but it would have to undergo some changes... his reponse was basically that he'd like to try but that "I have really hurt him" UGH! AM i the one who wrote the break up note??? NO... I mean I was trying to get some space, to slow things a bit, but he's the one who decided that instead of giving me more space he shd just break it off... Anyway, I saw him today at university, and he's acting weird, and making a victim of himself... He came with me once we bumped into each other, but wdn't really talk and stuff... so i said 'gee, u look like u've been bitten!' ... and he startes giving me poetic bs about how i'm the one who bit him... I just pretended to not get what he meant, basically... Then I had to go get something at a store, and he said his bus is about to come so buhbye. That's it... I think i wanna keep absolutely no contact this weekend... and see how he acts next week... In a way, i did this b/c i dont see why i shd break it off completetly if i still have feelings... Anyway, thanks for listening, any comments? why is he acting like this? what is he thinking? Thanks a LOT Link to post Share on other sites
Laurynn Posted March 17, 2001 Share Posted March 17, 2001 Hi there! Yep, you hit the nail right on the head. He *is* playing "the victim." He's trying to make you feel badly, he's trying to twist things around because he probably didn't really want to break up with you, and he's acting like a horse's butt with the hopes that you'll feel badly and tell him you want to get back together. I commend you for sticking to your guns. I've read your posts here for the past few months, and this guy definitely has some issues. He's very needy, clingy, insecure. He seemed to be smothering you and trying to control you. That's just not healthy or acceptable, as you obviously already know. Yes, don't have any contact with him all weekend. Take some time for *YOU* !!! Do some of the things that you've wanted to do in the past, for you, that you couldn't do when he was fused to your hip LOL Go shopping, go see a movie with girlfriends, go get a new hairstyle, go buy a new CD, have a bubble bath with candles all over, read a good book, reorganize your sock drawer (haha)....just focus on YOU. And when you see him at school next week, be strong. Don't let his little head games get to you. Stand your ground. Don't let him guilt you into considering another shot at the relationship. I really DO think you need some time to just yourself now.........to focus on you, your life, what things are important to you. The worst thing you could do is to allow yourself to get talked into (sucked into) going back out with him. Tell him to have his pity party somewhere else :-) let us know how it goes. Stay strong, girl! Laurynn Link to post Share on other sites
JustAGirl Posted March 17, 2001 Share Posted March 17, 2001 Thanks Laurynn!!! A very supportful response =) This is what I'm trying to do with him: I dont wanna lose contact entirely... but I dont wanna get back together as a gf/bf either... I think the middle position will do me good... B/c i do have to see him at university for another month or two... and I dont mind talking to him... But i'll keep my freedom as well, and if he asks - i can say i'm giving him time, etc, he's the victim, isn't he? Do you think this 'middle' idea would work? I'm just not experienced in this matter... Thanks a lot again - JustAGirl Link to post Share on other sites
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