Mapper71 Posted June 11, 2015 Share Posted June 11, 2015 Okay I know the easy way to answer this is just to call my husband and see, but I am going to wait until I get home in about 2 hours. Just want your opinion. So my husband applied for a mechanic job at a motorcycle place. They saw his background in sales and management and called him up not to interview him for the motorcycle tech job but said they have other (unadvertised) opportunities for him. He went down to interview with them almost a month ago and they basically talked to him about how they would like to have someone oversee both their shops and head up the service dept. and also deal with customers. Quite a step up from a tech position! The guy who interviewed him said not to be alarmed if they don't get back to him right away. Well his interview was May 15 and he didn't hear anything for over 2 weeks. On June 1 he sent them an email saying he wanted to know what was up as he has a couple other opportunities awaiting and needed to get things figured out. June 4 the guy calls and leaves him a voice mail saying to call him. H doesn't get around to calling him back until June 5 because we had company. When he calls him on the 5th, the guy is in a meeting and my husband asks whoever he talked to to have him call him back. Well that was last Friday and the guy still hadn't called back. I just checked our phone records and I see my husband had a 13 minute conversation about 2 hours ago with the guy. Well I can't imagine a 13 minute conversation is "Sorry, we won't be hiring you". However, he was so excited about this job that if he did get it, I would think he would have called me immediately to tell me. It also makes me leery that the guy didn't call or took days to call him back. What do you think the outcome will be? I mean it seems like they were tailoring this job to him and then just kind of let it go. Hard to believe they would ask him if he was interested in this unique position and then not offer it to him. Link to post Share on other sites
kenmore Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 Hey Mapper, I just saw this for the first time and obviously the suspense is over for you, but I'm curious. Judging from your story, I'd say the convo was one where they were discussing options and seeing if your husband A) is a good fit, B) really wants to do what they want and C) still trying to decide what they want to do. While you thought it doesn't make sense they would talk to him about a possible position then not offer it...nah, happens all the time. Management types rarely consider the psychological effects of things like that. All they care about is how it affects the "company" and if it's a good thing in the end. If they think it's not; bye-bye position. All that said, yes it was promising, so did it happen? Ken 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mapper71 Posted June 18, 2015 Author Share Posted June 18, 2015 Hey Mapper, I just saw this for the first time and obviously the suspense is over for you, but I'm curious. Judging from your story, I'd say the convo was one where they were discussing options and seeing if your husband A) is a good fit, B) really wants to do what they want and C) still trying to decide what they want to do. While you thought it doesn't make sense they would talk to him about a possible position then not offer it...nah, happens all the time. Management types rarely consider the psychological effects of things like that. All they care about is how it affects the "company" and if it's a good thing in the end. If they think it's not; bye-bye position. All that said, yes it was promising, so did it happen? Ken Nope didn't happen. The guy finally got back to him and said they were really excited about bringing him on board, but right now they just don't have the budget for it, at least not until they move into their new building in 6 months-1 year, but he'll be the first one they call if it happens. Well why the hell did they make it sound all promising when they knew they didn't have the budget for it?! Link to post Share on other sites
kenmore Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Because they don't care about someone's feelings, they used him as a sounding board. Whoever was talking to him was trying to get a feel for whether he wants to do it and since he does, that will increase the chances of them going in that direction. Question: do they know about your husband's alcohol issue? Make sure they don't! Perhaps the months of time might just be perfect timing. Maybe fate is smiling on you two. It wasn't a total mind screw, but they don't know what they want to do yet and once they decide, making a new department takes time. A year seems too long but I'll believe six to eight months or so. That said, don't hold your breath. If the timing works out, then buy a lottery ticket! Ken Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Honestly it sounds to me that they just didn't want to hire him and gave that excuse to not confront the real issue they didn't want to hire him. Easy Way out is the way I read it... On a side note.. You are checking your phone records checking up on your husband.. why ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mapper71 Posted June 19, 2015 Author Share Posted June 19, 2015 Honestly it sounds to me that they just didn't want to hire him and gave that excuse to not confront the real issue they didn't want to hire him. Easy Way out is the way I read it... On a side note.. You are checking your phone records checking up on your husband.. why ? No, they did REALLY want to hire him. He applied for an advertised mechanic job and when they saw his sales background on his resume they said they had other (better) opportunities available that would benefit them all. They basically want to make this position FOR him. But they are moving to a new building and don't have the funds for that position right now. They said to keep in touch with them and he'll be the first person they call when they are ready to fill that position. Yes I am checking up on the phone records to see if he is actually trying to find other work or calling about finding out about his insurance, his current job, his short term disability and just generally trying to get his life back together. However I have yet to see barely any calls made by him or to him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mapper71 Posted June 19, 2015 Author Share Posted June 19, 2015 Question: do they know about your husband's alcohol issue? Make sure they don't! Perhaps the months of time might just be perfect timing. Maybe fate is smiling on you two. It wasn't a total mind screw, but they don't know what they want to do yet and once they decide, making a new department takes time. A year seems too long but I'll believe six to eight months or so. That said, don't hold your breath. If the timing works out, then buy a lottery ticket! No they don't know about his drinking issue nor did they know he was in an accident and had limited use of his arm. I was against this job at first because it was such low pay, but it is something he would enjoy and go to everyday and that accounts for something. I want him to call his manager and see if they just decided to drop the firing thing with him or if they are going to go through with it so he can figure out what he is going to do. He is in this limbo now and assumes all is fine because he hasn't heard from them. If they are going to drop the case then he needs to get back to work, even as light duty, as soon as possible and hang out there and hope that early next year this other company wants to hire him. Instead he is applying for these jobs, like the post office one he just applied for, where it is $15/hr and it is only a 1 year contract job and he may not even work 40 hour weeks. How on earth does he think that is a viable option??! Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Instead he is applying for these jobs, like the post office one he just applied for, where it is $15/hr and it is only a 1 year contract job and he may not even work 40 hour weeks. How on earth does he think that is a viable option??! He obviously doesn't because he has you to support him in his in-actions. Again, you are enabling him to the fullest hilt so why should he do anything different? He has a pretty cushy life, as I see it - playing video games all day long, buying stuff for his bike or fireworks for the 4th of July. There are no repercussions to his idleness from his perspective, so why should he bother to change anything? 6 Link to post Share on other sites
applej4 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 (edited) Great post, CarrieT! Also, it's really strange for someone to ask strangers on the internet what is going on in the mind of the man she is married to/living with. Getting perspective is one thing, but this is really waaaay 'out there'. hmmmm:) Edited June 19, 2015 by applej4 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mapper71 Posted June 19, 2015 Author Share Posted June 19, 2015 Great post, CarrieT! Also, it's really strange for someone to ask strangers on the internet what is going on in the mind of the man she is married to/living with. Getting perspective is one thing, but this is really waaaay 'out there'. hmmmm:) Well I'm a waaaaaaay out kind of gal! See, he doesn't like to tell me what's going on until he has it figured out in HIS mind because then he thinks I just get all upset and he'd rather not have me upset until he absolutely has to. So he doesn't give me much info so I try to gather what he MAY be thinking from everyone else! Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Get counseling. End of advise Link to post Share on other sites
applej4 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Well I'm a waaaaaaay out kind of gal! yeah. umm hmmm. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Well I'm a waaaaaaay out kind of gal! All evidence to the contrary... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 But only he can tell you and he is conflict avoiding. This pattern continues until you drop your end of the rope. My best advice, you either give him an ultimatum or you stop expecting things from him and accept whatever he is willing to give. You guys are in a very codependent arrangment with you almost in the "mommy" role. Do you enjoy chasing him? Tracking him? Pushing him to try and step up? Isn't it tiring? You don't have to live like this but you do have to decide if he is the best person for you. Link to post Share on other sites
applej4 Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 Internet folklore. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kenmore Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 I think mapper is well within her rights to come here seeking advice and though the subject as it has been presented has been pretty talked-out IMO, if she's not satisfied she is also within her rights to continue until she is. At this point, it comes down to love, acceptance, roles and equality in my opinion. He needs to pull his weight and if all he is doing is playing computer games, that pretty much completely sucks! He does need a good kick in the nuts. Whether the OP feels it's time to move on is up to her. The magic 8-ball is pointing to yes, but it depends a lot on her love and I'd have to say (though a mans perspective is gonna be trampled here) I'd accept my wife and just move on, but I know that reeks of bias. Truth be told though, that's exactly what I'd do! Anyway, OP I'd like to hear why you give a sh*t anyway? What are some positive things about your husband? Can you post some? Is there really any reason to continue? I mean we're only hearing a one-sided diatribe from you and yes, you ARE the responsible one, but does he have ANY redeeming qualities? Just askin' Ken Link to post Share on other sites
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