I'm worried that I'll become a Cheater...

[Crystal_the_Vixen]

TL;DR story...

 

I'm worried that I can never be in a relationship because I think I'll cheat if I become unhappy. I never cheated before, at least I don't think so. But I'm so worried I will in the future and once I do. I can never take it back. I'll never be that sweet girl anymore, I'll be a gosh darn cheater.

That's my worst nightmare.

 

More information below if you don't wanna TL;DR...

 

But my nightmare already happened a few times!

Here's a copy paste of the stories I wrote a long time ago and recently, it took me a long time to forgive myself for these things. I think I did these things because I was extremely unhappy in my relationship with my Ex Boyfriend David.

 

Mark Story:

My boyfriend David says I'm unloyal and almost cheated. Because I was upset one day, I was in a Xbox party chat with my boyfriend David and ex boyfriend Mark. I asked my ex what he did special for his girlfriend and then I said I wish I had that and I said I wished I hadn't dumped him. My boyfriend leaves the party, I keep inviting him back but he refuses to join. I get so upset that I ask my ex if he was interested in a polyamorous relationship, but I change my mind because I prefer to be monogamous. If I were to be in a polyamorous relationship I would of broken up with my boyfriend first, because being in 2 relationships would be cheating. Later on, I decide to break up with my boyfriend. But then I change my mind and I want him back but he refuses to come back to me because he thinks what I did was unloyal and close to cheating. A couple days later we get back together, but he loves me less because I was somehow unfaithful to him.

 

Brandon Story:

One night this guy Brandon called me at 3am talking to me about his issues then decides to phone sex me. At first I didn't understand what was going on, I answered his sexual questions. But later on I realized what was going on. I told him to stop because I was in a relationship and it'll be cheating. He knew I had a boyfriend, but he didn't care. He continued on with the sexual questions. I insisted that we call David my boyfriend about what was going on, I get happy when he tells him to back off and I'm taken. But then Brandon tells him all of our relationship issues and why I should be with him instead. David gives in and tells me I should be with him instead. I decide to be with Brandon. Then the next day I regret my decision to be with Brandon, I break up with him and delete him off my contacts and blocked him on facebook. I tell David about it, but I think he's too hurt to care.

Now David's side of the story is:

David says that I'm taken to Brandon, I say I will be happier with Brandon. Brandon then bashes David and I'm agreeing.

David accepts what I'm doing and tells me to do whatever I want.

 

Matt Story:

I had to deal with another guy crushing on me again. This time it was with an ex boyfriend who cheated on me a long time ago. One day my brother wanted me to ask my friend Katrina if she wanted to go to church, she said she was sick but her friend Matt my ex wanted to go. Matt was really nice to me. Matt said he was really sorry for cheating on me and if he could go back in time he would to fix it. Matt said he bullied my boyfriend David because he was jealous of him and said he took me away from him. He said he still has feelings for me. He told me I'm a sweet girl and he said if I were single he'd want to go out with me. He called me sweetheart and princess, he started treating me like a girlfriend. He told me he'll treat me better than how David treats me. I finally decided enough was enough, I appreciated him caring about me and saying he wanted to beat up every guy that sexually assaulted me and stuff. But I felt that it wasn't right for me to be friends with someone like this while in a relationship. So, I told him; "Matt I can't talk to you anymore, I appreciate you caring and stuff. But I don't like how you treat me like a girlfriend and I'm worried you'll pressure me to cheat on David or something. My brother thinks I like you more than a friend and says I need to chose David or you. I only like you as a friend, I only dealt with how you treated me because I wanted to be nice. But my relationship is really important to me and I'm loyal to David." I'm happy I finally dealt with guys crushing on me better now. At least I hope I dealt with it better. Matt said he wants to cut himself and he's angry just because I won't talk to him. I told Katrina, Katrina, I might have to cut ties with you if Matt continues to call me using your phone number or if I call your phone number and he picks up. I'm dead serious about not talking or being involved with Matt in any form. Katrina tells me, Really wtf I'm not in the damn mood for this so bye don't contact me anymore so go to hell. Your ****en saying this **** when I'm going threw a lot.. Im so ****en sorry that now hes living here for awhile so if you have a problem then oh well deal with it.. Im not picking sides so bye you just lost a friend thats been there for you when you needed someone to talk to and now you lost me. Me and Katrina are officially not friends anymore.

[TaraMaiden2]

Why are you posting this, exactly?

What is it you want from us...?

[ExpatInItaly]

Why exactly are you in a relationship at all? You need to learn how to manage your emotions and respect yourself. Otherwise, youll never learn how to respect a boyfriend enough to stay faithful.

 

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you? I'm guessing that you're quite young. You don't need to stay in a relationship when it's clear you like attention from other guys. Stay single and have fun instead of staying in a relationship that you're not really committed to. It's not fair to your boyfriend or yourself.

[kendahke]

TL;DR story...

what does TL;DR mean?

 

But my nightmare already happened a few times!

Here's a copy paste of the stories I wrote a long time ago and recently, it took me a long time to forgive myself for these things. I think I did these things because I was extremely unhappy in my relationship with my Ex Boyfriend David.

 

First rule of thumb: BREAK UP with someone if you feel you just have to engage in a behavior you know will destroy your relationship with them. Doing these things was because you were selfish, not that you were unhappy. Plenty of unhappy people do not emotionally cheat.

 

Mark Story:

My boyfriend David says I'm unloyal and almost cheated. Because I was upset one day, I was in a Xbox party chat with my boyfriend David and ex boyfriend Mark. I asked my ex what he did special for his girlfriend and then I said I wish I had that and I said I wished I hadn't dumped him. My boyfriend leaves the party, I keep inviting him back but he refuses to join. I get so upset that I ask my ex if he was interested in a polyamorous relationship, but I change my mind because I prefer to be monogamous. If I were to be in a polyamorous relationship I would of broken up with my boyfriend first, because being in 2 relationships would be cheating. Later on, I decide to break up with my boyfriend. But then I change my mind and I want him back but he refuses to come back to me because he thinks what I did was unloyal and close to cheating. A couple days later we get back together, but he loves me less because I was somehow unfaithful to him.

 

Yeah.. manipulating guys rarely works. What exactly did David need to stick around and see more of? You said you wished you hadn't dumped your ex--his nose wasn't rubbed in that isht enough for you?

 

 

Brandon Story:

One night this guy Brandon called me at 3am talking to me about his issues then decides to phone sex me. At first I didn't understand what was going on, I answered his sexual questions. But later on I realized what was going on. I told him to stop because I was in a relationship and it'll be cheating. He knew I had a boyfriend, but he didn't care. He continued on with the sexual questions. I insisted that we call David my boyfriend about what was going on, I get happy when he tells him to back off and I'm taken. But then Brandon tells him all of our relationship issues and why I should be with him instead. David gives in and tells me I should be with him instead. I decide to be with Brandon. Then the next day I regret my decision to be with Brandon, I break up with him and delete him off my contacts and blocked him on facebook. I tell David about it, but I think he's too hurt to care.

Now David's side of the story is:

David says that I'm taken to Brandon, I say I will be happier with Brandon. Brandon then bashes David and I'm agreeing.

David accepts what I'm doing and tells me to do whatever I want.

 

David is right.

 

See, the whole "he continued with the sexual questions" excuse is weak and sketchy because your phone has a hang up feature on it. You chose not to hang up, but instead, you kept on listening to him because YOU WANTED TO. You gave Brandon a wide berth and he dropped anchor in your port.

 

Matt Story:

I had to deal with another guy crushing on me again.

 

No, you enjoyed yet another guy giving you attention. Own that.

 

This time it was with an ex boyfriend who cheated on me a long time ago. One day my brother wanted me to ask my friend Katrina if she wanted to go to church, she said she was sick but her friend Matt my ex wanted to go. Matt was really nice to me. Matt said he was really sorry for cheating on me and if he could go back in time he would to fix it. Matt said he bullied my boyfriend David because he was jealous of him and said he took me away from him. He said he still has feelings for me. He told me I'm a sweet girl and he said if I were single he'd want to go out with me. He called me sweetheart and princess, he started treating me like a girlfriend. He told me he'll treat me better than how David treats me. I finally decided enough was enough, I appreciated him caring about me and saying he wanted to beat up every guy that sexually assaulted me and stuff. But I felt that it wasn't right for me to be friends with someone like this while in a relationship. So, I told him; "Matt I can't talk to you anymore, I appreciate you caring and stuff. But I don't like how you treat me like a girlfriend and I'm worried you'll pressure me to cheat on David or something. My brother thinks I like you more than a friend and says I need to chose David or you. I only like you as a friend, I only dealt with how you treated me because I wanted to be nice. But my relationship is really important to me and I'm loyal to David."

 

But the truth of the matter is: no you're not loyal to David. Mark and Brandon wouldn't have gotten as far as they did if you were. If Matt wanted to go to church so badly, he didn't need you to go with him. He can walk up into the church himself if he wanted to be there that badly. This whole conversation was really unnecessary.

 

I'm happy I finally dealt with guys crushing on me better now. At least I hope I dealt with it better. Matt said he wants to cut himself and he's angry just because I won't talk to him. I told Katrina, Katrina, I might have to cut ties with you if Matt continues to call me using your phone number or if I call your phone number and he picks up. I'm dead serious about not talking or being involved with Matt in any form. Katrina tells me, Really wtf I'm not in the damn mood for this so bye don't contact me anymore so go to hell. Your ****en saying this **** when I'm going threw a lot.. Im so ****en sorry that now hes living here for awhile so if you have a problem then oh well deal with it.. Im not picking sides so bye you just lost a friend thats been there for you when you needed someone to talk to and now you lost me. Me and Katrina are officially not friends anymore.

 

What a nest of vipers.

[PegNosePete]

TL;DR means too long; didn't read. It's something people write when they couldn't be bothered to read the whole post because it's long and unnecessary because the facts are really simple. People also write it like a quick summary when they anticipate people will not want/need to read their whole story.

 

The facts here are indeed very simple. Cheating is not something that just happens to you by mistake or uncontrollably. It is a choice. It is very easy to "avoid" it: simply choose not to do it.

 

Saying you're worried you'll cheat is like saying you're worried you'll rob a bank or drive over the speed limit. If you choose not to do those things then they won't happen. Are you not in control of your own actions?

[smackie9]

Cheating is a coping mechanism for some or an escape from relationship issues. Instead of cheating, find other solutions that are less damning.

Here is something simple.....if you have an urge to cheat or you find yourself wishing to be with someone else, you either A) try to figure out what led you to feel this way and work it out with your BF OR you end the relationship and be on your marry way.

[Chi townD]

Wait...wait... you, your boyfriend and your exboyfriend were in an xbox group and you told your EX that you want what he has and you wish you never broke up with him WHILE YOU KNEW YOUR BOYFRIEND WAS PART OF THE CONVERSATION?!?! I'd want to dump your ass too!

 

 

Then, you have a guy having a sexual conversation with you, and even though you tried to shut it down, it continued anyway. He starts bashing on your boyfriend. The guy that is YOUR boyfriend and you entered into a loving and caring relationship with AND YOU AGREED WITH THIS ASSHAT?!?!?!

 

 

And Finally, you have an Ex boyfriend that cheated on you, talking and hitting on you and you allowed it. He cheated on you and bullied you boyfriend and you want to be friendly with a guy like that?!?!

 

 

All I got to say is David must be a Saint to put up with the crap you put him through. You need to let him go. He sounds like a really good guy and deserves to find a girl and wants to be with him and him only because there's no other place in the world she would rather be. You're definitely not showing him that.

 

 

Each one of these guys that you've described sound horrible. It's sounds like that have a "bad boy" streak to them. And it sounds like your boyfriend is a good guy. Someone that's loyal and treats you with kindness. But, you find it a bit boring. But, here's the rub about these "bad boys". If they are "bad boys" and have the reputation of being a "bad boy", then logic dictates that it's only a matter of time BEFORE THEY START TREATING YOU BADLY!!!!

 

 

SO, that's my only warning to you. Let Davis go and let him find someone that's going to treat him with kindness, love and respect and you can go off with these douche rockets but don't be surprised when they burn you.

[No Limit]

Have you ever thought of being single for a while...?

[Crystal_the_Vixen]

I told my friends to tell David.

Can you please tell David, I said...

You're sister is right, you just haven't found the right person yet. I'm glad you finally realized what a horrible person I am, I wish I realized I was in 2011. So, I would have been able to warn you that I'm not girlfriend material. I've been pushing away every guy wanting to go out with me and warning them. Because I'm not girlfriend material for anyone in general. You deserve someone who's super loyal and understanding. I'm sorry, I couldn't be that girl for you. I'm sorry, you had to suffer 5 years of being with the wrong girl, the girl who didn't understand you and betrayed you. You don't deserve negativity in your life and you're not a horrible person. I'm sorry I make you suicidal, you deserve someone who makes you want live everyday. I'm glad you're moving on, I wish you the best future and a great new girl to treat you right. Goodluck, take care.

[SoulStorm]

I told my friends to tell David.

Can you please tell David, I said...

You're sister is right, you just haven't found the right person yet. I'm glad you finally realized what a horrible person I am, I wish I realized I was in 2011. So, I would have been able to warn you that I'm not girlfriend material. I've been pushing away every guy wanting to go out with me and warning them. Because I'm not girlfriend material for anyone in general. You deserve someone who's super loyal and understanding. I'm sorry, I couldn't be that girl for you. I'm sorry, you had to suffer 5 years of being with the wrong girl, the girl who didn't understand you and betrayed you. You don't deserve negativity in your life and you're not a horrible person. I'm sorry I make you suicidal, you deserve someone who makes you want live everyday. I'm glad you're moving on, I wish you the best future and a great new girl to treat you right. Goodluck, take care.

Looks like you did David a favor. Your behavior, from what you have written, has been very disrespectful toward him. I hope your last message to him was sincere and not done sarcastically.

[Fleur de cactus]

Honey, how old are you? Reading your post was not easy, I have a headache from reading because it is going back and forth. Very much this is your diary not a question that needs responses. You sounds like you are enjoying what you are doing, so keep recording it. However, I think you need to grow up a little bit. Playing with love is not good, stop enjoying those contacts from Mark, Brandon and many more coming. I don't see that you needs advices and you dont need to bring your diary here. If you have a question reword and re-post it.

[Crystal_the_Vixen]

I'm pretty convinced to committing suicide now.

Someone please close this thread, I won't be able to reply anymore.

[Shaunwolf]

I wasn't positive it was a troll until the last one. You sound like middle schooler. If you are going to troll at least make it more believable also even if it was real the I'm so horrible text is designed to make the boy feel sorry for you and over look the **** you did. I'm a sucker for it sadly and I regret it but grow up. Also you're a troll.

[Crystal_the_Vixen]

I decided not to commit suicide.

I talked to my mom and showed her my posts on the forums. She told me the reason why I'm getting so much negativity is because I'm not telling the full story and not talking about how David is treating me. The way I tell my stories, I purposely make David look like a saint. She told me I shouldn't feel guilty anymore and it's not fully my fault. My mom told me to STOP posting my problems on the Internet, because I don't tell stories correctly and people on the Internet don't or won't understand me fully. So, for now on I'll stop posting my problems on the Internet. For me and you guys.

[Darren Steez]

Wow..

:bunny:

[Chi townD]

I have a feeling that she was way to young to be in a committed relationship. I think that it's for the best that you stay single for a while and work on some issues. And finally find some peace and be happy.

 

 

:bunny:

.....