CreativeZen Posted June 12, 2015 Share Posted June 12, 2015 I've been with my current girlfriend for two years now. Things have progressed very fast (living together within a month, relationship started within a month as well). We are pretty much entrenched in each others' lives and will move to a new city in three months to start work. We will sign the paperwork for a new apartment soon. Now, here is the problem. I recently met a new girl at work. Not a big problem, I've met a bunch during our relationship. The ones I was interested in I always regarded as "yes, definitely would date her...but I'm already very happy with my current gf". With this girl I feel different. I never told her about my girlfriend (at first it never popped up, but now I'm still not saying anything). We hang out quite a bit and pretty much every moment is pure bliss. I know I'm slowly falling in love with her, and I'm assuming she is too. Now, obviously I know what is the smart thing to do. To own up to this girl and break things off before people get hurt. But this whole ordeal has made me wonder about my own relationship. I wouldn't say I'm unhappy, but more and more I feel like I'm avoiding my girlfriend. We have gotten in a bit of a rut where our days consist of quickly talking about our days and then just watching tv. I'm assume we are both to blame for this. I have been trying to ask her to do stuff, but she either doesn't feel like it or doesn't have any fun ideas herself. It doesn't help we live in pretty much a ghost town. So what I'm looking for is advice. I'm aware if the GiGS syndrome. Am I being a victim of this? Or am I really done with my gf? Any insight is appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
deadelvis Posted June 12, 2015 Share Posted June 12, 2015 If you were really happy with your GF you wouldn't even notice other women, let alone fall in love with a coworker. Get out of the relationship. You are comfortable but not happy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted June 12, 2015 Share Posted June 12, 2015 If you were really happy with your GF you wouldn't even notice other women, let alone fall in love with a coworker. Get out of the relationship. You are comfortable but not happy. This. Break up with your GF; frankly, she too sounds more comfortable than in love. You've become roommates who out of pure luck want to work at the same place in the future, but that's no ground for a relationship. Consider it both-sided GIGS basically - but nonethelss I will warn you that should the relationship with the new girl fail before you move you'll have bad times at work ahead of you. Good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Trishern Posted June 12, 2015 Share Posted June 12, 2015 Best to end the relationship with your GF. You moved in way too quickly, what was the rush? Living together is best when you are really serious about someone, so that break ups don't have the added stress of moving home and finding new places to live. Break up with the GF, so you're free to pursue this other girl. Don't get into cheating, it's just nasty. Link to post Share on other sites
Poppyolive Posted June 12, 2015 Share Posted June 12, 2015 I'm sure if coworker was not on the scene, you'd try harder in your relationship. You have allowed it to become stuck by putting energies elsewhere. You are not committed to your girlfriend. Let her go to find someone that can commit to her. Do that carefully, do not cheat, do it asap. Be clear and firm. Ask yourself... Why move so quickly in relationships? Why jump ship when already in relationship? Some soul searching will help you, learn and decide. Some time will help, my advise is don't jump so soon in your next relationship. Best wishes 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GoBlue Posted June 12, 2015 Share Posted June 12, 2015 So what I'm looking for is advice. I'm aware if the GiGS syndrome. Am I being a victim of this? Or am I really done with my gf? Any insight is appreciated. First of all you can't be a "victim" when you are the one who is making all of the choices. You are more addicted to the drug called "infatuation" than anything else. It's what drove the relationship with your current girlfriend and it's what's driving your pursuit of girl #2. What is about to take place is the loss of both relationships if things don't change drastically and quickly. When girlfriend #2 finds out that you have been lying this whole time, how do you think she is going to respond? When girlfriend #1 finds out (not "if" but "when") about your little escapades, how do you think she is going to respond? Do you believe that people who are "falling in love" purposely mislead and keep secrets from the person they "love"? In my own opinion, if you leave girl #1 for girl #2, the same thing will happen to that relationship in around two years. I am not trying to be harsh just realistic. You have been living as a married couple with girl #1 and all relationships require intentionality to keep the fires burning. I hope for both of your sakes you will reconsider the living arrangements and decide if you are going to be committed (that means married) or not. I hope things work out for everyone that's involved. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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