Am I a bad friend..?

[Apeace]

So, here's the thing. A while ago, my friend Irene told me that she liked this boy, Zane, who is one of our closest guy friends. This isn't the first time she's told me that she has liked someone, and in fact, she has told me that she has "liked" over 10 guys in the span of the 3 years I've known her. I had never liked anyone before, and I could not understand how she likes so many guys, and I thought that maybe she's the type of person who likes people really easily, or mistakes friendship for something more. Anyways, through the school year, Zane and I became best friends, and now I have a huge crush on him. Zane, although he has not told me that he likes me, held my hand once at school, so I am pretty positive that he likes me (Irene did not see this incident).

 

Then, I found out I am moving across the country next year. I only have a few months left here, and I want to tell Zane I like him, or go on a date with him before I leave. Irene, Zane, a few other friends, and I are going to watch a movie next week. I am pretty sure Zane will try to hold my hand during the movie, but if Irene happens to see this, that would be really bad. At the same time, I don't want to reject Zane's advances.

 

What should I do if he tries to hold my hand? I really really like Zane, but I don't want to lose Irene as a friend right before I move away. By the way she reacts around Zane, I don't think she actually likes him, because she never talks about him, never tries to be near him, etc..

[minimariah]

This isn't the first time she's told me that she has liked someone, and in fact, she has told me that she has "liked" over 10 guys in the span of the 3 years I've known her. I had never liked anyone before, and I could not understand how she likes so many guys, and I thought that maybe she's the type of person who likes people really easily, or mistakes friendship for something more.

 

how old are y'all? 10 folks in 3 years isn't a lot... at all.

 

By the way she reacts around Zane, I don't think she actually likes him, because she never talks about him, never tries to be near him, etc..

 

this doesn't mean that she doesn't like him. she told you she likes him, right?

 

who is more important to you - Irene OR Zane?

if the answer is Irene and you value her friendship, communicate with her -- tell her you like Zane and tell her you & Zane have a connection... something is going on between the two of you. tell her that you would love something to happen between you and Zane and ask her how does she feel about it, is she OK with that & that you don't want to ruin your relationship with her. then see how it goes from there.

 

if she isn't that important to you, go with Zane.

 

but to be honest... y'all seem to me like a very young people. i don't think Irene will make a big deal about you exchanging kisses and holding hands with Zane in these next few months.

[preraph]

You're moving away anyway, so why get something started with Zane and ruin a friendship before you go? It's not worth it. It can't develop into anything anyway.