drifter777 Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 When you are doing things that you should be doing with your SO, you are cheating... So, if you got a BJ, handy, anal, normal intercourse...you cheated. If you spend time w/another person like an emotional affair - instead of spending it with your SO...you are cheating. Now...there are kinds of cheating that vary: 1- The one time mistake...where you were drunk, stupid, bad situation. But, it will never happen again, you repented and it literally was a "mistake". 2- The dog/playas....they will never be satisfied with ANY woman. They may even enjoy the thrill of the chase and bedding and/or playing women. 3- The "starved" guys. Wifey cuts off intimacy, respect, sex. He rather cheat than break up the family. Now, yes, I've gotten involved with involved guys (the 3's) and I saw it as "borrowing" them. Why? Cuz I am disrupting their family life. And IMO, cheating is when you cut corners to get an unfair advantage over another and/or get more while they suffer. If your SO is starving you, IMO, you are getting fed and that's what they get (you cheating) for them neglecting you and trapping you into a hopeless situation where you can lose your kids and/or finances while they didn't hold up their end of the marriage. If this is a one-time thing and you learned your lesson...good. But from what you posted, seems like you and this girl put yourselves in situations that lead into bad decisions. What a load of crap! I guess people really can rationalize any bad behavior. Link to post Share on other sites
drifter777 Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 I just broke it off an hour ago. Will be going single for the meantime. Perhaps if I would have wanted to work things out after what she did then I might have confess as it would be fair but since it was over for me, not sure what would be the point of that. Now I'm not trying to be a hypocrite but maybe some people do get more impacted by intercourse than any other type of cheating. I think if she would have stop things before going all the way and not deny when confronting her, it have motivated me into confessing and working it out. Since to me it was worse what she did and the denial part, that already killed it all. To me its all the same. My wife had a ONS with one guy and a 3 week live-in with another guy. They both are horrible betrayals that will haunt me the rest of my life. Neither one is better or worse than the other. But that's me. Regardless of what I or anyone else says, your deal-breaker is whatever it is to you. If BJ doesn't end things but screwing is something you won't tolerate then that's just how you roll. Nothing wrong or right about how you feel. I think you did the right thing breaking up with her. Neither of you are ready for a committed relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 You are either faithful, or you are not. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 ... my cheating involved sitting on the side of the bed with her, kissing and caressing her breast while she went down on me. OK, so you would be happy with your gf, engaging in such a trivial act with another man? I guess not. She at last had the excuse of being drunk, what is your excuse? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leortop Posted June 14, 2015 Author Share Posted June 14, 2015 (edited) Chi townD, yes I agree on that part. Plus there is a higher chance to even catch an STD from intercourse than receiving oral sex. OK, so you would be happy with your gf, engaging in such a trivial act with another man? I guess not.I would not but it could have been worked out. I would've then be honest about my cheating. She at last had the excuse of being drunk, what is your excuse?Same. Just like her, I was at a party and wasn't sober. Unlike her who even slept over till the next day, with the amount of guilt I was feeling, I left. Edited June 14, 2015 by Leortop Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leortop Posted June 14, 2015 Author Share Posted June 14, 2015 In you case there is another difference. You stopped it in the middle. You made a mistake and were trying to fix it and stopped the oral sex. On her side, she went all the way, stayed the night and didn't care about you all day. That also made me even think that she could have done it more than once from that night till the following day. I didn't believe her at all when she kept saying it was a once mistake. Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 Drinking is no excuse for anything, but it does bring out the worst in some people. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 I get it, one is more intimate than the other. So what....are you trying to say she didn't care about you, but you did care because you stopped and didn't complete the deed and carried around the guilt? Sure you could look at it that way, BUT whatever the degree it still comes down to YOU both chose to cheat no matter how any of you felt afterwards, or whether you came or not.....what is done is done. You both just need to admit you shouldn't be together anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
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