Redhead14 Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 See my above post about changing my ways. But you are contradicting yourself as well. If I stick to an approach then people say change your approach !! only stupid people do the same thing over and over and expect different results right? How many times I was told that. You change it too often, I think Nevertheless, you are onto one now. Keep it moving. Sticking to an approach is kinda like doing an experiment, the control sample, you, remains the same every time. You may get positive results, you may get negative results. But, in every case, you are you and will get the same positive results at least more often. You can only control you, not the variables. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted June 15, 2015 Author Share Posted June 15, 2015 I am happy I get a lot of attention, I am happy I get to go on lots of dates but I am anxious to meet someone serious. I've had enough fun, I've been actively searching for 3,5 years, met tons of men, got my female ego all flattered, got great sex with gorgeous younger men, I have fully enjoyed my single life, now I want man to myself. And I am so anxious that I make stupid choices and end up in dates with men beneath me. Two weeks ago I am heading to a 1st meet. I am someone professionally well established and known by business people downtown. I accepted a date invitation from next door building parking attendant!! And I am heading to that date thinking OMG Gaeta, you are really desperate to find love aren't you!! I am dating down a lot in the name of finding love. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 And I am so anxious that I make stupid choices and end up in dates with men beneath me. Two weeks ago I am heading to a 1st meet. I am someone professionally well established and known by business people downtown. I accepted a date invitation from next door building parking attendant!! And I am heading to that date thinking OMG Gaeta, you are really desperate to find love aren't you!! I am dating down a lot in the name of finding love. Gaeta, you may not be dating down. He may be working as a parking attendant while putting himself through medical school Have fun. Find out more about him, what he's looking for out of his dating journey in general and go from there. Don't be intimate with him right away (even if he turns you on to the max If you're not on the same page, move on. This is the part where consistency comes in. Only date men who want the same thing you want. Find out early. You want a long-term relationship. See if he wants that too and dates you that way. Link to post Share on other sites
MonorailCat Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 And I am so anxious that I make stupid choices and end up in dates with men beneath me. "men beneath you" If that lovely attitude shines through on your dates it explains a lot. Dating a parking attendant? Oh no, the humanity! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted June 15, 2015 Author Share Posted June 15, 2015 "men beneath you" If that lovely attitude shines through on your dates it explains a lot. Dating a parking attendant? Oh no, the humanity! I apologize to all the LS parking attendants. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted June 15, 2015 Author Share Posted June 15, 2015 Was that SO politically incorrect to say? Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 Probably. You can only care so much... Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 Folks, let's steer the topic back to men acting inappropriately on a date and the reasons and motivations. Moderation is working on a group berating policy and, until it is published, we'll remind members to err on the side of civility and respect in their comments. If the topic is no longer relevant, feel free to take other topics of discussion to their own topic and forum. It's all free, courtesy of LoveShack.org. Thanks in advance for your cooperation with this moderation directive. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted June 15, 2015 Author Share Posted June 15, 2015 When I pick a date I have never considered their education, job and earnings. To me it's secondary and I have proven that with my dating history. Now I am trying to figure out what I am doing wrong and maybe that is one of the things I am doing wrong. Maybe I should pay attention to education, jobs and stuff. I did not mean to be condescending when I made the parking attendant comment. If I were a condescending person I would have not gone on that date with him. If I went it was because it was not important to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 I think sometimes what people do is based on their values, this is why some take job types into account. Sharing values is important, it isn't just about the money. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted June 15, 2015 Author Share Posted June 15, 2015 So back to my thread title. I think it's the following. 1. They do it on purpose cause it's been working for them in the past 2. They have not been taught basic politeness and manners. 3. It's cultural. I date a lot of foreigners and for some of them inviting themselves over is a normal thing to do. Link to post Share on other sites
MonorailCat Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 When I pick a date I have never considered their education, job and earnings. To me it's secondary and I have proven that with my dating history. Now I am trying to figure out what I am doing wrong and maybe that is one of the things I am doing wrong. Maybe I should pay attention to education, jobs and stuff. It's just the choice of words. "men beneath you" and "dating down". If something similar slips out on a date it will scare those men away. Arrogance is not something men look for in a women. Maybe you don't even notice you are doing it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lansing Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 So back to my thread title. I think it's the following. 1. They do it on purpose cause it's been working for them in the past 2. They have not been taught basic politeness and manners. 3. It's cultural. I date a lot of foreigners and for some of them inviting themselves over is a normal thing to do. 1 - Yes, and for the 2nd guy is worked once again so he will probably do the same thing for future girls thinking "well, I got laid last time" 2 - It might be that they are joking around too or aren't really "demanding" the girl invites them over. I will joke with girls about cooking me dinner... and sure, I would be happy if they actually did. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 "*Jewelry guy just wants something physical. We had a talk and he said I am very desirable and intelligent but he doesn't see me as someone for a relationship. ** He still calls and text and asking when he can see me again. I said to forget about it I am not looking for a physical relationship only. Then he said to give him a chance for something more. Mixed signals enough? I guess that's all he wanted. He sent a text and kiss, I asked what he was up to, he talked about having a report to prepare, I said I was free later if he wanted to do something and I never heard back from him. I don't have extreme beauty. I am just a woman looking younger, pretty face and sexy body shape. I am not everyone's cup of tea but for men that like a woman to look like a woman, I am it. I am not payine $2,000 to meet ONE person. So you DID want a relationship with jewelry guy, yet you had sex with him on first date. But with prospect 2, you said you did NOT want a relationship with him, so you had sex with him for fun. Don't mean to beat you up here, but which is it? Sometimes you will want a relationship with guys you have quick sex with, and sometimes you won't? THAT is what people mean by you are inconsistent. Also, when jewelry guy told you he did not see you as someone with whom to have a relationship, did you ask him why? I mean you are good enough to have sex with, but not good enough to have a relationship with? Personally, I would have wanted to know the answer to that question.... Knowledge is power... Just sayin. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 Gaeta, I wish you would try to wait at least until date 3. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted June 15, 2015 Author Share Posted June 15, 2015 It's just the choice of words. "men beneath you" and "dating down". If something similar slips out on a date it will scare those men away. Arrogance is not something men look for in a women. Maybe you don't even notice you are doing it. English isn't my first language so I use vocabulary I know. I am sure there is another expression for beneath that is not so offending. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 (edited) So you DID want a relationship with jewelry guy, yet you had sex with him on first date. But with prospect 2, you said you did NOT want a relationship with him, so you had sex with him for fun. Don't mean to beat you up here, but which is it? Sometimes you will want a relationship with guys you have quick sex with, and sometimes you won't? THAT is what people mean by you are inconsistent. Also, when jewelry guy told you he did not see you as someone with whom to have a relationship, did you ask him why? I mean you are good enough to have sex with, but not good enough to have a relationship with? Personally, I would have wanted to know the answer to that question.... Knowledge is power... Just sayin. ETA...^^these questions are rhetorical...not meant to be answered here. Just things to consider about yourself....going forward. I have no desire to put you on the defensive...just things to think about. Edited June 15, 2015 by katiegrl Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 English isn't my first language so I use vocabulary I know. I am sure there is another expression for beneath that is not so offending. Dating someone whose skill set is not the same as mine? . . . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 A few fries short of a happymeal?! Sorry, I could not resist 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 ....and this is what keeps so many women perpetually single these days. Posts like this just confirm what many of the guys on here keep saying, but many women deny. Regular guy who actually is interested in the woman gets turned down. Good looking guy just looking to get laid gets the best dress and easy sex. This is really sad. Everyone, even women, are entitled to their preferences. If you are not someone's preference, that's just the way it is--she doesn't owe you or any man the pink if she's not attracted to you. Who she is attracted to isn't a due bill that you receive the same consideration. Every guy who whines about this will also fight to the death for his right to not be forced into a relationship with someone who is not attractive to him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted June 15, 2015 Author Share Posted June 15, 2015 So you DID want a relationship with jewelry guy, yet you had sex with him on first date. But with prospect 2, you said you did NOT want a relationship with him, so you had sex with him for fun. Don't mean to beat you up here, but which is it? Sometimes you will want a relationship with guys you have quick sex with, and sometimes you won't? THAT is what people mean by you are inconsistent. Also, when jewelry guy told you he did not see you as someone with whom to have a relationship, did you ask him why? I mean you are good enough to have sex with, but not good enough to have a relationship with? Personally, I would have wanted to know the answer to that question.... Knowledge is power... Just sayin. Lets clarify. I never make contact with a man in the hope of having fun, never. Each and every contact I make is in the hope of a long lasting relationship. So yes, when I met jewelry and Adonis it was for a relationship. Their behavior that followed our 1st meeting indicated they were not fully honest with their intention toward me. After sex with jewelry guy he told me a bunch of things indicating we were going to date each other but it didn't happen. Adonis showed the same pattern, after sex he wouldn't leave, asked to come back that same night, talked about dates we could go on, and like jewelry guy he went poof. But I knew he would go poof after sex, I had learn from Jewelry guy. And no I did not ask Jewelry guy why back then he didn't see me as a long term prospect, I simply assumed it was because of my age. I can ask him but now he changed his tune and he wants an opportunity to 'win my heart'...which I think is only a tactic to have sex again. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 Lets clarify. I never make contact with a man in the hope of having fun, never. Each and every contact I make is in the hope of a long lasting relationship. So yes, when I met jewelry and Adonis it was for a relationship. Their behavior that followed our 1st meeting indicated they were not fully honest with their intention toward me. After sex with jewelry guy he told me a bunch of things indicating we were going to date each other but it didn't happen. Adonis showed the same pattern, after sex he wouldn't leave, asked to come back that same night, talked about dates we could go on, and like jewelry guy he went poof. But I knew he would go poof after sex, I had learn from Jewelry guy. And no I did not ask Jewelry guy why back then he didn't see me as a long term prospect, I simply assumed it was because of my age. I can ask him but now he changed his tune and he wants an opportunity to 'win my heart'...which I think is only a tactic to have sex again. Last paragraph... too late to ask now...but yeah I agree...he'sxa gamer, and it was a tactic. Good call! Last piece of advice....don't ever assume anything. Wish you the best Gaeta, really truly. And apologies, did not ever mean to put you on defensive. Again, good luck... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted June 15, 2015 Author Share Posted June 15, 2015 hhmm so Adonis just texted me: So if I don't say hello to you you just don't talk to me? Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 hhmm so Adonis just texted me: So if I don't say hello to you you just don't talk to me? ::eyeroll:: Block, delete. THAT is my last piece of advice! Lol :bunny: 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 Gaeta you need to have expectations and stick with them and don't bend for any of these fools. You should find someone that IS YOUR EQUAL. Someone who is a business professional, makes the same or more income, has the similar goals, and expectations. It's not a needle in a haystack, you are just need to look in the right haystack. Stick with coffee dates, or light casual dates, instead of dinner dates, quiz them about everything but don't reveal too much about yourself at first . Even do a background check (I know a lot of women that do this) if it sounds too good to be true. And watch their actions....one little red flag, anything questionable it's a bubbye. And for heaven sakes don't go out with the weird ones, the odd looking ones, or foreigners....I know you look for the good in everyone, but this has been totally unreliable to you, so avoid this type. Turn a new leaf, and be more picky/cautious. Remember what I said QUALITY, not quantity. Get what you are looking for and don't settle. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
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