I need some relationship advice.

[Ed]

My relationship with my girlfriend is only 3 months old and since texting with a celphone is popular here, we always text each other when we wakes up, when we're about to eat and when we're done, when we're about to take a bath and when we're done and stuff like that. Is this ok or normal? Will it have any positive or negative effect on our relationship?

 

Secondly, I'm very insecure in this relationship. I love my girlfriend so much and i'm very afraid of losing her and I always ask my girlfriend if she means everything she says like her feelings about me. Sometimes I don't feel that she really loves and care for me. I know insecurity is bad for a relationship but i'm having a hard time fixing it. Is there a way for me to know if my girlfriend is aware of my insecurities already? Since our relationship is only 3 months old, how long will it be before she's fed up with me? Will I still save the relationship if I was able to get rid of my insecurities?

 

Thanks

[Tony T]

1. "Is this ok or normal?"

 

The texting back and forth in a very predictable manner will definitely get old and wear thin over time. You are a lot better off doing this in an unpredictable manner, with no particular schedule in mind. It will be far more special to her and vice versa when neither of you are expecting these messages.

 

2. "Will it have any positive or negative effect on our relationship?"

 

If you send her messages intermittently, in no predictable manner and not so often, they will definitely have a positive effect on the relationship. Women like to feel special. What you have going now is nice but once she gets used to it, the messages will have no effect on her whatsoever. If you are unpredictable, the effect will be much more lasting. This principle holds true for almost anything you do in life.

 

3. "Is there a way for me to know if my girlfriend is aware of my insecurities already?"

 

She probably is and I promise it is not sexy or attractive to her. Women don't like insecure men. Often, they are quite repulsed by that. You need to get to the core of your insecurity, usually the fear of loss, and try to resolve it. You may even have some control issues and are extremely uncomfortable in a relationship the details and longevity of which you have absolutely no control over. These are things that probably goes back to your childhood and a good counsellor can help you with it.

 

4. "Since our relationship is only 3 months old, how long will it be before she's fed up with me?"

 

Eight months, 14 days, 22 hours, 17 minutes and 32 seconds. (LOL) There is really no way of knowing and this is something you should not be concerned about. Be yourself, be normal, be kind, don't be too clingy and don't show your insecurities. Handle the relationship in a very manly, confident way and there's no reason it can't last a very long time.

 

5. "Will I still save the relationship if I was able to get rid of my insecurities?"

 

There is no evidence that she will leave if you have these insecurities but there is a very good possiblity. Yes, you can certainly ensure added longevity of this relationship if you will give up your fears and insecurities.

 

Read some books on self esteem, do things for yourself that will make you feel better about yourself, etc. Do these things for you...the relationship will fall into place.

[JustAGirl]

Just an extra note on the -all-the-time messaging...

 

B/c my ex and me used to do that... DONT!

 

It's really fun and makes u feel close at first, but it gets boring, and you start getting WAY too much info about the other person's plans... my bf would basically know any time i leave the house... that was nice at first, but started majorly getting on my nerves later... And believe me, once you do it for a long time, it's very hard to make more space between you two without causing fights, etc.

 

You get what I mean, right?

 

Just telling my personal experience...

 

Good luck!!!