What do you want?

[vickimonster]

I think the majority of us on here are now, or have a some point been looking for another chance with our ex. My question is what do you want it to be like.

 

I am quite clear that I want it so that I can find out what is right. I do not want to go back into the same relationship with this person, but a new relationship.

 

Do you think some second chance wishes are more realistic, and more likely to work than others? (assuming your ex did come back)

[ConfusedInOC]

Originally posted by vickimonster

I think the majority of us on here are now, or have a some point been looking for another chance with our ex. My question is what do you want it to be like.

 

I am quite clear that I want it so that I can find out what is right. I do not want to go back into the same relationship with this person, but a new relationship.

 

Do you think some second chance wishes are more realistic, and more likely to work than others? (assuming your ex did come back)

 

A second chance is pointless with my ex unless she has a COMPLETE ATTITUDE CHANGE.

 

Otherwise, even if I had a second chance, unless she changed we'd continue to be on the same ugly, ugly rollercoaster ride.

 

And I'm d@mn tired of it!

[outdated]

It definitely has to be something new. Expecting the same things is like taking a step backwards. There's many right reasons to get back together (ie genuine love, not wanting to live without this person, etc) and there's also a lot of wrong reasons (ie lonliness or laziness.) Ultimately, there's nothing wrong with a second chance if both people think it's worth it. I've gotten back together with someone before after about eight months of being apart, and although we ultimately did seperate again, I don't regret giving it a second chance. Ya never know what da future holds. People make mistakes and they do them for reasons sometimes they don't understand- either breaking up or making up. There's no reason not to try. You have to make sure you bury the old issues and start over. Then why not? A lot of reconciliations aren't going to work, but then again, a lot of them will.

[vickimonster]

outdated -

can i ask when you say you got back with someone after 8 months apart, but ended up spliting after all. Did the same person do the dumping each time?

[outdated]

Vickiemonster-

 

No it wasn't. It was one of each actually. But it was still fun, maybe not all of the time, but most of it.

[vickimonster]

I think that splitting up is horrible for all involved.

 

I was just interested because I do feel that if I did get a second chance with my ex I have thought about and realised that there is a strong possibility that I may end up finnishing with him. I feel that at the moment I do care about him and love him, but that is because my idea of who we are together is frozen in time and that a new relationship with him is something I can't predict.

 

I wonder how many people who have got back together with their ex's have then ended up finishing the new relationship.

 

I have to say I am convinced my ex will come back given time, so if I am proved right I will keep you all up dated.

 

Thanks for sharing outdated.

[outdated]

Glad to. BUt remember, I'm still in the cloud of losing someone too, so what I say and what I do aren't always the same thing. I feel like the cloud is lifting, but I know I still have a little shred of hope, and I think that hope comes from experiences in the past. And this most recent one seems ten times stronger a bond than I had with the previous. But that hope can also do a lot more harm than good. Seperate for now. WHo knows about the future.

[eastern_mystique]

I have to say I am convinced my ex will come back given time

 

 

I feel that way too. I spoke to my ex a few days ago about giving us another chance and he said no, because it doesn't feel right for him at the moment.....even though I was a bit disappointed, I can see what he means, it's just not the right time.

 

He said that he can see something happening in the future, which some could say is unfair as he is giving me 'false hope', but he genuinely means it. He is always honest with me. On some level I think he knows that I'm gonna be the one that lasts the distance, the one who's in it for the long haul. But for now we're friends, really good friends and in the last few days I've been feeling really okay about that. I still love him and think about him as much as I ever did and reminisce about when we were together.....but it doesn't hurt so much anymore.

 

As long as we stay close, there's hope for the future.