I feel harassed and terrorized by my husband!

[Terrible situation]

I don't know what's wrong with him but my situation is so weird I really need help! My life goes smoothly every two weeks and then my husband has sudden outbursts of anger and frustration that he takes out either on me or on a random person walking on the street.

 

Last night on our way towards a restaurant my husband picked a fight with a man telling him he was a pervert and that he was staring at my butt. A huge fight ensued with heated arguments between this guy and my husband.

 

Another time I purchased some clothes and went to return it for they were wrong size and my husband picked a huge fight with the store employees by recording them on the video saying he was collecting evidence to make sure they wont commit fraud.

 

He blames me for these behaviors saying that I am responsible for him behaving that way but I never instigate him or say a thing to him. To be honest, am always nice and calm not just with him but everybody. I just mind my own business.

 

We spent $7k on him and her bikes so that we can have an active lifestyle and get fit but suddenly he wanted to pick a fight with a random stranger walking by. That fight ruined our weekend and we never ended up going biking. It's not just this occasion that got ruined but every birthday, holiday or special occasion gets ruined as he makes it a point to either spend money like crazy and then fight or get insanely angry and fight with me or anybody. This behavior is driving me insane.

 

Any advice would mean a lot.

Edited June 14, 2015 by Terrible situation

[d0nnivain]

It does sound bizarre. I couldn't live like that.

 

 

Have you talked to him about it? Is he willing to address the true sources of these outbursts.

[Terrible situation]

It does sound bizarre. I couldn't live like that.

 

 

Have you talked to him about it? Is he willing to address the true sources of these outbursts.

 

It really has been pretty weird for me as well since I married him. He wasn't like that before marriage. I have talked to him about it and each time he says he will stop doing it. He makes a promise saying from now on its going to be a new him who will never go back to that behavior. But then he does it again. He has promised to stop doing it so many times and bounced back to do it again so many times that now it just sounds like a joke when he says he won't do it.

 

Just this morning he swore to be a changed man again but it's like a play where he repeats the same lines and then goes back to continuing with his sudden outbursts.

 

I cannot remember the number of times he has ruined my birthday each year. He won't do that for an occasion that matters to him like for example, his birthday. It's so bizarre I have no idea what to make of it.

[TaraMaiden2]

It really has been pretty weird for me as well since I married him. He wasn't like that before marriage. I have talked to him about it and each time he says he will stop doing it. He makes a promise saying from now on its going to be a new him who will never go back to that behavior. But then he does it again. He has promised to stop doing it so many times and bounced back to do it again so many times that now it just sounds like a joke when he says he won't do it.

 

Just this morning he swore to be a changed man again but it's like a play where he repeats the same lines and then goes back to continuing with his sudden outbursts.

 

I cannot remember the number of times he has ruined my birthday each year. He won't do that for an occasion that matters to him like for example, his birthday. It's so bizarre I have no idea what to make of it.

 

May I respectfully suggest that you read this thread, and put yourself in the position of the OP ('stupidkitten').

Then read the answers given and take them, absolutely as read, as definitely applying to your situation.

[Clarence_Boddicker]

Divorce him. Your husband has a mental defect that makes his behavior a deal breaker for most people. Eventually he's gonna find the wrong guy to mess with & will receive a much deserved beat down or get shot or stabbed.

[Babs22]

I don't know what's wrong with him but my situation is so weird I really need help! My life goes smoothly every two weeks and then my husband has sudden outbursts of anger and frustration that he takes out either on me or on a random person walking on the street.

 

Last night on our way towards a restaurant my husband picked a fight with a man telling him he was a pervert and that he was staring at my butt. A huge fight ensued with heated arguments between this guy and my husband.

 

Another time I purchased some clothes and went to return it for they were wrong size and my husband picked a huge fight with the store employees by recording them on the video saying he was collecting evidence to make sure they wont commit fraud.

 

He blames me for these behaviors saying that I am responsible for him behaving that way but I never instigate him or say a thing to him. To be honest, am always nice and calm not just with him but everybody. I just mind my own business.

 

We spent $7k on him and her bikes so that we can have an active lifestyle and get fit but suddenly he wanted to pick a fight with a random stranger walking by. That fight ruined our weekend and we never ended up going biking. It's not just this occasion that got ruined but every birthday, holiday or special occasion gets ruined as he makes it a point to either spend money like crazy and then fight or get insanely angry and fight with me or anybody. This behavior is driving me insane.

 

Any advice would mean a lot.

 

 

This could be more than just an anger issue. I am wondering if your H has a mental illness. My son is 17 and diagnosed bipolar. Some of what you are saying reminds me a lot of my son. If my son had a credit card, he would spend money like crazy. He freely admits that he wants to spend money to make himself feel better. Also my son's bipolar swings are not between happy and sad, they are between sad and agitated. When he becomes agitated, he can be very unreasonable, irrational and say some of the most hurtful things you can imagine. Medications are beginning to help. The agitation, and controlling himself are getting better, the depression is now the major issue. He used to blame me also for his behavior. After he would have a blow up and calm down, he can totally see that his behavior was not appropriate and apologize for it. He doesn't like himself when he behaves that way and has alienated himself at school because of these behaviors.

[Mr. Lucky]

He won't do that for an occasion that matters to him like for example, his birthday.

 

This alone would give me extra concern because it indicates his behavior is easily controlled.

 

How is he about lying and exaggeration?

 

Mr. Lucky

[anika99]

This alone would give me extra concern because it indicates his behavior is easily controlled.

 

How is he about lying and exaggeration?

 

Mr. Lucky

 

I don't know if it's that his behavior is easily controlled. To me its' sounds like he is on some kind mood cycle. Perhaps bi polar or maybe something else. The OP hasn't given us much to work with here. Hasn't told us if there is a build up to these episodes or if there are certain things that can trigger a change in his personality.

 

 

OP have you noticed any kind of pattern to these outbursts? Or any triggers? For example I had a long term relationship with a man who would have a melt down shortly after an exceptionally close day of intimacy. He was a diagnosed BPD person (borderline personality disorder) and so he had deep abandonment issues and a fear of intimacy. After a while I learned that a great day would always soon be followed by several days of misery.