Is my girlfriend behaving normally?

[Rick]

Me and my girlfriend have been seeing each other for 4 months now. During our 2nd month, I tried undoing her bras hoping to touch and kiss her breasts. I succeded although there's a slight hesitation from her. After a week, I tried to do it again thinking that there won't be any hesitation anymore but I was surprised and a bit upset, though I didn't show it to her, that she hesitated more, so i asked her why she's hesitating when I already touch it before, she just told me nothing as in no reason at all, so I keep pursuing until I succeeded again. My questions are, is it normal for my girlfriend(she's 18 and I'm her 1st boyfriend) to hesitate the first time her breast is to be touch by her boyfriend even if she says she loves me very much? Since I already touch her breast with just little hesitation on the 1st time, why is it she hesitated more on the 2nd time, does it mean she don't like it or just playing hard to get and why? Does this behavior of hers also suggest that she's not ready for sex yet or is it only a matter of few more pursuing and convincing that she'll agree to have sex with me? Please help. This is confusing. Thanks

[unnamed]

You're girlfriend's behaviour towards sexuality is definetely normal. There is nothing wrong here.

 

Since you questioned her behaviour, let's look at the possibilities.

 

You claims she loves you, thus she must expose herself and let her body be fondled? No. Your girlfriend may love you dearly, but she may not be ready for such a thing. It is, after all, hear first boyfriend. Take it very slow with her.

 

Perhaps she is afraid of what you will think of her body? Perhaps she is just nervous? Maybe she was molested when she was a child and/or teenager? Or perhaps she doesn't want to get to involved, in other words, she doesn't want to have sex?

 

Also, no one should be ready for sex at 18. It would be shame if you keep pushing her to do things she doesn't want too. I say you have a very special woman in your hands. You would be wise to lay off the sexual aggression, however tough it may be, and wait until you are married for sex. Sex before marriage is foolish; you may think your ready, but sex is not about being ready. Its loving the person unconditionally, and fully committed to them, NOT knowing that you will never be together for the rest of your life.

 

My advice: wait until your marriage. Do not go further than "third base" with her, that is, if she is willing to. If she is reluctant, then back off.

 

Oh, one other thing: NEVER convince a woman to have sex with you. That is downright pathetic and lame. If she wants to, then go ahead, but DO NOT urge her on and convince her 'sweetly' that it will be awesome.

 

I just hope you make the right move, pun not intended.

[unnamed]

nt

[The above response is to Rachel]

I think her behavior is normal since you are her first boyfriend, everything is new to her. More than likely, she wants to take it slow. Maybe she let you touch her breasts because she felt pressured, not really because she wanted you to. That could be why she decided not to let you after the first time. It could be that she isn't ready or she is confused about how she is feeling. You need to ask her how she feels and if she is comfortable with the situation.

 

She may not even have sex with you. Do you know how she feels about sex before marriage?

Me and my girlfriend have been seeing each other for 4 months now. During our 2nd month, I tried undoing her bras hoping to touch and kiss her breasts. I succeded although there's a slight hesitation from her. After a week, I tried to do it again thinking that there won't be any hesitation anymore but I was surprised and a bit upset, though I didn't show it to her, that she hesitated more, so i asked her why she's hesitating when I already touch it before, she just told me nothing as in no reason at all, so I keep pursuing until I succeeded again. My questions are, is it normal for my girlfriend(she's 18 and I'm her 1st boyfriend) to hesitate the first time her breast is to be touch by her boyfriend even if she says she loves me very much? Since I already touch her breast with just little hesitation on the 1st time, why is it she hesitated more on the 2nd time, does it mean she don't like it or just playing hard to get and why? Does this behavior of hers also suggest that she's not ready for sex yet or is it only a matter of few more pursuing and convincing that she'll agree to have sex with me? Please help. This is confusing. Thanks

[JustAGirl]

I don't see anything un-normal at all. I had my first bf at 18 also... and I did feel shy when he touched me at first...

 

we talked about it, and he was patient with me, trying to get me more comfortable (which just comes once you know each other better) , etc... And little by little we progressed...

 

If you become pushy, you'll simply scare her away...

 

Be very nice and slow about it, complement her a LOT... talk about it - about her underwear, which color looks good on her... maybe give her some funny undies as a present - u know what I mean??

 

And I totally agree with unnamed about sex. Third base gives you enough fun. No need to risk with a home run.

 

Good luck!!

[The above response is to Rachel]

I think her behavior is normal since you are her first boyfriend, everything is new to her. More than likely, she wants to take it slow. Maybe she let you touch her breasts because she felt pressured, not really because she wanted you to. That could be why she decided not to let you after the first time. It could be that she isn't ready or she is confused about how she is feeling. You need to ask her how she feels and if she is comfortable with the situation.

 

She may not even have sex with you. Do you know how she feels about sex before marriage?

Me and my girlfriend have been seeing each other for 4 months now. During our 2nd month, I tried undoing her bras hoping to touch and kiss her breasts. I succeded although there's a slight hesitation from her. After a week, I tried to do it again thinking that there won't be any hesitation anymore but I was surprised and a bit upset, though I didn't show it to her, that she hesitated more, so i asked her why she's hesitating when I already touch it before, she just told me nothing as in no reason at all, so I keep pursuing until I succeeded again. My questions are, is it normal for my girlfriend(she's 18 and I'm her 1st boyfriend) to hesitate the first time her breast is to be touch by her boyfriend even if she says she loves me very much? Since I already touch her breast with just little hesitation on the 1st time, why is it she hesitated more on the 2nd time, does it mean she don't like it or just playing hard to get and why? Does this behavior of hers also suggest that she's not ready for sex yet or is it only a matter of few more pursuing and convincing that she'll agree to have sex with me? Please help. This is confusing. Thanks

[Laurynn]

I know you posted about this a few weeks ago. She's 18, and didn't you say you were 29 or something? If I recall correctly, why don't you date someone who's closer to your age. I can't imagine what a 29 and 18 yr old would have in common, in fact, I think that's sort gross. A grown man with someone who just became an adult. Anyway...

 

You seem very 'goal oriented'......like your goal here is to touch her breasts, then get her to have sex. There is obviously a reason that she's not "ready" for physical contact. And if she's not comfortable with you touching her boobs, she sure the heck isn't comfortable having sex for the first time. If I recall correctly, when you posted last time, didn't you write about how you had her masturbate you?

 

If you are this girl's first boyfriend, she's obviously very INexperienced. Maybe very self conscious....isn't sure what to do, how to react. Could be intimidated by the fact that you're MUCH older/more experienced than her.

 

Like "unnamed" said, too......perhaps she was sexually abused as a child or "touched inappropriately".......and being touched by you, brings back painful memories/confuses her.

 

Maybe she was raised in a very strict home (like I was), maybe even Catholic.....and she had the fear of God put into her that sex/intimacy are to be saved for marriage.

 

My best advice to you.........find someone else. Find someone closer to your own age. If after 4 months, she's obviously still not comfortable with intimacy, there's something wrong that's most likely going to take a lot of time to resolve (if she even knows what it is). You're only going to make her feel pressured, you're going to fee frustrated, and that's no good. You also don't want her going along with you just because she doesn't know how to say 'no'.......that's not what love and intimacy are about.

 

Laurynn