One Year On - Still Think Of Her

[Christophe]

Hi guys. Will try to keep this brief as possible.

 

Not posted here for a while which i guess is a positive because a few months ago I was really, really struggling. Not sure if anyone here will remember me but last year (January 2014) I fell in love with a Spanish girl and we had a relationship (mainly LDR but met 5 times physically) in 5 months until June 2014 when she broke up with me.

 

Being with her was the best experience I have ever had in my life. I felt so confident and happy with her. I thought she was the perfect girl for me. Anyway she couldn't get over her ex and left me to go back to him which really hurt because I know what kind of an idiot (to be polite) he is.

 

I don't want to go back into little details about the relationship again but I just wanted a bit of advice and encouragement I guess. Basically it is a year now since she broke up with me and since then I have been to hell and back. I have not had sex or experienced anything with any girls since my ex left. I have felt very lonely at times and find social situations a bigger challenge now.

 

I have picked myself up and made improvements to my life - I now have a car and next month I am taking the decision to move out of my parents' house back to my hometown 6 hours away from where I live now. And I don't know anyone there. I feel I need a new start.

 

I guess the main thing I want to ask is how do I relax and not think so much about meeting girls (and also generally friends)? When you experience love and romance like I did last year it is impossible not to want and crave it again. It has just been hard as I say that I have not found any connection with anyone since the break up. I was so sure about her and loved her like crazy. I just want to feel that way again.

 

I just don't want to beat myself up for still thinking about her after a year. I do still miss her at times despite me not completely knowing her and even after all the pain she has caused me. Sometimes find it hard to have hope I will meet someone who makes me feel so good again.

 

Not sure how well I have explained how I am feeling as I only scratched the surface but I hope some of you may be able to help me a little. I would appreciate any responses.

 

 

Thanks everyone.

 

Chris

[Reels]

You are doing already great in your life, just concentrate on that. As about that girl, well, you will never really forget her, thus there is no need to bother about that at least at this moment.

[Christophe]

Thanks for the encouragement Reels. I am making big changes in my life and I hope it will lead to good things. Just trying not to expect too much and not worry too much about meeting another girl. Easier said than done though!

[Jimmyjackson]

I have not had sex or experienced anything with any girls since my ex left. I have felt very lonely at times and find social situations a bigger challenge now.

 

This is the reason you still think of her, you haven't experienced anything else since, therefore you have no new girls to compare her to. You need to try Fnuck other girls or date someone else, it's been a year now and you'll probably realise in doing so that there are plenty of unique girls out there...thus wiping your ex from your memory.

[erklat]

Since you have an opportunity better embark on a road to become content

with yourself alone than trying to fill the void with someone else.

 

I was also with other women but the feeling of being in love I haven't felt since.

Probably never will so naively too.

[Christophe]

Yes I am doing my best to work on becoming content alone. I think the thing is now though having been through what I did - falling in love, I struggle not to think about all girls I meet as potential next girlfriends and that creates a pressure on myself.

 

Anyway I am doing my best not to think like this although as I say it feels like after experiencing the beauty of falling in love I can't help but look for it. I guess it's also like the thing of trying not to think about something and that is the one thing you end up thinking about.

 

It can be hard for me remembering the intimacy I shared with my ex. Something I don't have now. I know I need to work on myself physically and mentally so I will be more confident and ready for an intimate relationship again with someone new when they come along. I somehow have to believe that she will come along and try not to look for her too hard I guess. I hate that I have the comparison to my ex now in a way because I really felt she was perfect for me.