livingon Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 Single OM is questioning me how long I have not have sex with my spouse. I didn't answer him. Should I answer him and why is he asking this question? Link to post Share on other sites
FusionCutter Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 Single OM is questioning me how long I have not have sex with my spouse. I didn't answer him. Should I answer him and why is he asking this question? Surely you must have some thoughts about why he's asking you. What are your opinions? Link to post Share on other sites
Author livingon Posted June 15, 2015 Author Share Posted June 15, 2015 I got no clue why he asked. Link to post Share on other sites
madjac74 Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 What the heck is OM? Link to post Share on other sites
lftbehind Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 I got no clue why he asked. I had a MM ask me the same question recently. I think that he wants to see if you are receptive to sleeping with him. If you're not having it at home, you might be interested in him. It was smart of you not to answer him. Link to post Share on other sites
jwi71 Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 Single OM is questioning me how long I have not have sex with my spouse. I didn't answer him. Should I answer him and why is he asking this question? I could guess: 1) he likes being intimate (provide you are) with you "soon" after being with your H 2) the opposite of #1 3) perhaps he imagines impregnating the W of another man and seeks some reassurance the child is his 4) maybe he seeks plausible deniability to you becoming pregnant should that happen 5) if you are not sleeping with him...maybe he is trying to entice you 6) maybe he enjoys the imagery of you with your H 7) maybe he enjoys "getting one up on your H" by sleeping with you - its an oblique competition for him. ...the reasons could go on and on... Why not just ask him why he wants to know? ...and you offer far to little info to make any type of guess really... Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 Well whats the answer? Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 I got no clue why he asked. Because he wants to know if you're banging your husband 10 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 Because he wants to know if you're banging your husband It may be an affair, but sometimes OM/OWs do not want to consider their AP is also f*cking their husband/wife. Some assume the AP is not having sex with their spouse and some APs will not burst that bubble, or claim they are in a sexless marriage, whether they are or not.. Some can live with sharing, some just cannot. Most men I guess would want their AP to be only sleeping with them, but some men get a kick out of sleeping with other men's wives and do not care or get turned on if she is also sleeping with her spouse. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
norudder Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 It may be an affair, but sometimes OM/OWs do not want to consider their AP is also f*cking their husband/wife. Some assume the AP is not having sex with their spouse and some APs will not burst that bubble, or claim they are in a sexless marriage, whether they are or not.. Some can live with sharing, some just cannot. Most men I guess would want their AP to be only sleeping with them, but some men get a kick out of sleeping with other men's wives and do not care or get turned on if she is also sleeping with her spouse. Why do you think this is? And why would they not also be turned on by their wife also sleeping with someone else? Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 [/b] Why do you think this is? And why would they not also be turned on by their wife also sleeping with someone else? It is a sexual fetish called cuckolding, where the fetishist is stimulated by their partner choosing to have sex with someone else. It is usually the husband who wants his wife to sleep with other men, either in his view or not, but other variants exist. Link to post Share on other sites
understand50 Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 Single OM is questioning me how long I have not have sex with my spouse. I didn't answer him. Should I answer him and why is he asking this question? Are you, having, or have had, or really considering, sex with him? The will answer depend on: 1) If you are in an active affair with him. 2) or going to be in a affair with him. 3) or do not want, or will not have an affair with him. Let us know. 1433 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Morro72 Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 The answer to this question should be either "before we entered our exclusive, committed relationship" or "none of your business." Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 I got no clue why he asked. What? So you're talking about paper mache sculpting and their impact on southern sahara walruses and he suddenly asked how long it's been since you had sex? Link to post Share on other sites
bentleychic Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 You should answer and be honest so he can make appropriate decisions based on that if he wants to. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
bentleychic Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 And for God's sake, why ask us why he asked? Ask him! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 Single OM is questioning me how long I have not have sex with my spouse. I didn't answer him. Should I answer him and why is he asking this question? Be honest. You're married so obviously a person who gets involved (aka your OM) with a married woman must assume that they sleep in the same bed, still have sex with their spouses on occasion. I'm sure you do family outings, go on vacation together, celebrate holidays, birthdays etc together as well, right? He is asking because he's jealous. He wants you all to himself and doesn't want to share you. He has feelings for you and no matter what happens in your affair, he is the one who is going to be hurt, even if it isn't intentional, he will still hurt. May I ask why you're cheating on your husband and risking everything by having an affair with another man? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author livingon Posted June 17, 2015 Author Share Posted June 17, 2015 I would have leave my spouse but I stay on for the sake of my child and I am pushing myself to face the deep **** caused by him. I did not sleep with the other guy because I see him as a close friend. Call me a coward, but I really feel very lost. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
understand50 Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 I would have leave my spouse but I stay on for the sake of my child and I am pushing myself to face the deep **** caused by him. I did not sleep with the other guy because I see him as a close friend. Call me a coward, but I really feel very lost. Livingon, In answer to the first question, "Originally Posted by livingon View Post Single OM is questioning me how long I have not have sex with my spouse. I didn't answer him. Should I answer him and why is he asking this question?" 1) He was looking for sex from you, and no you should not. If you are hurting in your marriage, and are looking for some,advise post your problems and we can talk about them. Some on LS will be hurtful, but some of us will try and give you benefit of our experience and maybe some tools for making things better. Could you post what is going with your spouse? I can say, from your above post, you are a loving mother, and are doing your best. You are not a coward. I wish you good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author livingon Posted June 28, 2015 Author Share Posted June 28, 2015 Thank you for your kind words, understand50. I know it clearly I am a married woman with a kid. My husband is heavily in debt again, I have completely lost my confidence in him. Once he is in debt, we sold our house to clear his debts. He has been lying to me for so many years and yet he got the guts to say he is trying to protect the family. I change my thoughts about him and I see that he is just a weakling. I didn't want to cause myself further misery by getting myself deeply involved with the OM, he refused to see me as a friend. He wanted further but I am not ready. Link to post Share on other sites
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