Age Gap Relationships

[RedRobin]

Thanks that all I was trying to say I do not have the time to get to know a female that is 30 it will take a few years and I do not want to wait until I am 35 and she 35 to have kids.

 

That is why I will not date a woman my own age . If i meet a girl that is younger like 24 or 25 i can get to know her build a relationship and I will have a few years to have children with her.

 

 

I don't have a problem with a 31 year old guy searching for a twenty something woman to start a family with. The age gap isn't big and you are probably at a similar stage in life. I don't think you should rule out women your own age though. At least inquire about their family history...

 

 

My aunt gave birth to two healthy children at age 39 and 40. We have no history of birth defects or miscarriages. We are all fertile as hell. As for me, I got my tubes tied at a young age so that there would be no accidents, and because I firmly believe the planet has too many people on it already and it doesn't need my DNA. If I wanted kids, I would adopt.

 

 

That said, I'd recommend ANYONE who wants children out of their own body to do so when they are in their 20's-30's. It really chaps my *ss when 40+ men literally screw their lives away or make poor choices of partners earlier in life, THEN decide they want to be a bio-dad and go hunting for a young'in to help them make up for lost time. Total azzholes. Just face reality, take responsibility, and understand that time has passed. It's not fair to your future kid to be so selfish.

 

 

Anyway, it's about time the science caught up with reality. Men have a biological clock too, and their progeny suffer by their failure to get serious about their prospects earlier in life.

 

 

The only reason why it has taken so long to understand the effect of aging sperm on child development is because most of the scientists were men... but that is changing. Kinda like, once upon a time, people thought the gender selection came solely from the woman (ie Henry VIII). *shrug*

[SSM3]

I actually know 3 age gap relationships.

 

First one, M is 17 years older. Both happy

Second one, F is 12 years older. Both happy

Third one, F is 20+ years older. Both happy

 

So looking at the above it shows they can work, it depends on the individuals involved.

Edited June 16, 2015 by SSM3
typo

[Gloria25]

I'm always amused at the "people without children experts on children and pregnancy."

 

I had all my kids before 30, but I can sit here and list a ton of friends who have had children after 35, even 40, with zero problem.

 

And look at the actual numbers. It isn't like 5% chance at 29....50% chance at 35.

 

I have one friend whose child has severe disabilities. She had him when she was 22.

 

Of course, I am not one who subscribes to the idea that if my child isn't perfect, I just have him/her sucked out and thrown away like a bum slinky.

 

Who in the world stated/implied that they would "suck down their kid"??!!??...I'm "pro life" you know and I take offense to you insinuating/implying that my post meant that I'm looking for some "perfect" child and if I ever got preggo and found out the contrary, I'd kill it.

 

I think adoption is a honorable thing and I fail to see how me preferring adoption instead of paying the health industry tons of money to get me preggo at a late age and/or risk a child being born with defects equates "abortions".

 

Some food for thought:

 

Pregnancy at 20, 30, 40 | Parenting

 

Pregnancy After Age 35

[RedRobin]

Of course, I am not one who subscribes to the idea that if my child isn't perfect, I just have him/her sucked out and thrown away like a bum slinky.

 

 

That's noble of you, but I know I would. Have an abortion if the fetus had a serious defect. I don't think it is fair to the child to condemn it to a likely horrible life filled with operations, drugs, or possibly institutionalization.

 

 

.... but knowing that... is yet another reason why I had my tubes tied. Given my family history, the risks of having a severely defected child were very minimal... but one I know I wouldn't want to deal with.

[BlueIris]

Some age gap relationships fail due to stage-of-life dissonance and the older partner assuming a mentoring or navigating role toward the younger partner, more like a parent or boss than an equal partner. I’ve seen a few relationships end quite unpleasantly because this dynamic, so be careful not to take on that role or perspective toward her.

[Gloria25]

That's noble of you, but I know I would. Have an abortion if the fetus had a serious defect. I don't think it is fair to the child to condemn it to a likely horrible life filled with operations, drugs, or possibly institutionalization.

 

.... but knowing that... is yet another reason why I had my tubes tied. Given my family history, the risks of having a severely defected child were very minimal... but one I know I wouldn't want to deal with.

 

And, that's my point about not trying to force a pregnancy at my "going on 40" age. No, I would not abort, but why risk conceiving if the chance of the child coming up with an issue is something I can avoid by just adopting?

 

Not fair to subject a child to your "whim" to have a kid later in life cuz you put if off for your own selfish desires.

 

IMO, lots of women who wait later in life to have kids sorta see it as a "sport" - like just another accessory and/or "accomplishment" they can put under their belt - all while at the risk of complications for both them and the child. THAT'S selfish if you ask me.

[autumnnight]

I do not know where all you jaded woman=haters live....but I have never met a woman who had a child for sport.

[elaine567]

I do not know where all you jaded woman=haters live....but I have never met a woman who had a child for sport.

 

Neither have I, most women have kids later in life for pretty good reasons IMO.