Age Gap Relationships

[Krieger]

You're 31 and you think a woman your age can't have healthy kids?

 

You need to learn science better.

 

I was talking about younger woman 18 to 30 have better odd in having a healthy baby.

 

At my age I have to find a woman and have kids right away . I do not want a retarded child or one that has health issues. As your age goes up the risk goes up in a having kids with issues.

 

No one wants their child be born unhealthy or have issues I do not.

Age and fertility: Getting pregnant in your 30s.

 

Age and fertility: Getting pregnant in your 30s | BabyCenter

[Krieger]

While true, strictly speaking, there is more going on. If he was married for a while and his wife was 31 and they wanted to have a kid, it would be very viable to start a family now. If he is single and starts trying to meet a person to potentially marry and have kids, that's a completely different dynamic.

 

If it takes 3-5 years to find Ms Right and get settled down, and then maybe a few more years to settle in and get ready to have kids, you're looking at something very close to 40 years old; if they want their first child to have a sibling, maybe mid to late 40s, which is getting pretty deep into the danger zone.

 

The harpies will be here in a moment to talk about his sperm going rotten, however the fact is that while male age does matter, it's a much smaller risk factor (which is why it took so long to notice it) and he can't control his age. So it's a smaller factor, and unlike the age of his partner, it's out of his control.

 

 

So he's not completely insane on this one.

 

IMO.

 

Thanks that all I was trying to say I do not have the time to get to know a female that is 30 it will take a few years and I do not want to wait until I am 35 and she 35 to have kids.

 

That is why I will not date a woman my own age . If i meet a girl that is younger like 24 or 25 i can get to know her build a relationship and I will have a few years to have children with her.

[autumnnight]

I was talking about younger woman 18 to 30 have better odd in having a healthy baby.

 

At my age I have to find a woman and have kids right away . I do not want a retarded child or one that has health issues. As your age goes up the risk goes up in a having kids with issues.

 

No one wants their child be born unhealthy or have issues I do not.

Age and fertility: Getting pregnant in your 30s.

 

Age and fertility: Getting pregnant in your 30s | BabyCenter

 

If your wife has kids at 35, odds are that she will NOT have "a retarded baby" (yikes at that phrase).

 

This is just much ado about nothing.

[Clarence_Boddicker]

Jiminey with this thread. Holy monkey I need to figure out how to multi quote. Someone will show me. (winky emoticon/NA)

 

Ok, older, younger; woman/man; man/woman and all scenarios. Think with your brain.....the slightly bigger one. Heart and spirit.

 

You guys all have strength and will, a sense of self and integrity. What becomes the problem then with accepting love and giving it?

 

Krieg's, whatever, when lightening strikes all math formula's are off, same for all.

 

Gauis and I have a 15 yr. split and part of me is definitely wtmonkey nuts with it, since I'm not cougar and I have never dated younger than me. There again, there it is.

 

He looks way older than me so, whatev's.

 

To the right of the (quote) button is one marked ("). That's the multi quote button. Tick that on all the posts you wanna quote. Then hit the reply button. You should see all the posts you selected in

brackets. Add your comments between them. Do a preview post option to see if your post looks good.

 

 

Have you ever rode quarter horses? Dunno what they call them in the UK because of the metric system.

[Timshel]

To the right of the (quote) button is one marked ("). That's the multi quote button. Tick that on all the posts you wanna quote. Then hit the reply button. You should see all the posts you selected in

brackets. Add your comments between them. Do a preview post option to see if your post looks good.

 

 

Have you ever rode quarter horses? Dunno what they call them in the UK because of the metric system.

 

Yes, mostly quarter horses. Some Thoroughbreds, pretty much any kind of horse and have been thrown many times breaking in. Good times.

 

Thank you for your advice. Next post will try and if it goes awry...well laugh at me, why not? Thank you.

[Krieger]

If your wife has kids at 35, odds are that she will NOT have "a retarded baby" (yikes at that phrase).

 

This is just much ado about nothing.

 

I want more than one kid i want two or three children and not too many woman want to spent a few years being knocked up .

 

Why to people get so mad when I say no one wants there baby to be born retarded? It is true I would not wish that on only one.

 

Silly me not wanting any child to have to be born with any health issues . I feel sad when children have cerebral palsy , autism, and so on.

[Timshel]

To the right of the (quote) button is one marked ("). That's the multi quote button. Tick that on all the posts you wanna quote. Then hit the reply button. You should see all the posts you selected in

 

Yes, mostly quarter horses. Some Thoroughbreds, pretty much any kind of horse and have been thrown many times breaking in. Good times.

 

Thank you for your advice. Next post will try and if it goes awry...well laugh at me, why not? Thank you.

 

OT: A 16 hand Appaloosa is my favorite. I once broke in and showed a Paso Fino stallion, what a b*tch he was. Beautiful and really f*cking difficult.

[salparadise]

Then young lady I am currently seeing is 12 years younger than me. We have discussed the age difference, and neither of us view it as a problem. Our biggest difficulty is finding music that we both can listen to

 

One thing that we both agree on, is that we are going to enjoy each other's company as long as our relationship works for each other.

 

Good for you! I'm not religions, but this benediction has always resonated with me...

 

“Life is short. We do not have much time to gladden the hearts of those who travel the way with us. Be swift to love; make haste to be kind... "

 

Passing up a chance for real love because of an arbitrary number seems ludicrous to me. For me, a difference in musical tastes would probably be the bigger issue. Hope for opportunity - and don't out for a guarantee. The two are mutually exclusive.

[StanMusial]

My fiance is 11 years younger. Just be honest with yourself that you're looking forward to the long haul. And if you are, find someone on the same page. Anyone younger than say 25-27 is probably higher risk.

[minimariah]

I want more than one kid i want two or three children...

 

good luck with that.

[Krieger]

could you be more judgmental? there's abortion available anyway. which i fully support btw.

 

 

I am shallow and proud to have standards us men need to have higher standards because of how society is now days.

[Gloria25]

You're 31 and you think a woman your age can't have healthy kids?

 

You need to learn science better.

 

A woman in her 30's can conceive, but fact is like after 35, it's gonna get harder and the likelyhood of complications and defects on the child rise with a woman's age.

 

Yeah, yeah, there's OBGYNs and clinics that will take all your money to put you on hormones, eggs and invitro and all that...but who wants to do all that just to have a child? For that I'd adopt.

[Gloria25]

I think she's an idiot, but what the hell.

 

As long as you buy her nice things and take her places, I am sure you will be useful while she establishes her career, etc. Maybe put her up in a nice situation with decent child support with your autistic kid because you decided to have kids later in life. Can't count how many 40+ guys I've come across who ended up in that boat.

 

When she gets tired of you, you'll be 50 or sixty something trolling the OLD sites for young ins or hiring escorts like most of the other gents in your sitch here on LS. So, I guess... Have fun while it lasts.

 

It is funny how pie eyed and irrational men become when it comes to much younger women... Like all logic gets thrown out the door. Hilarious.

 

Well, at least someone here actually posted some frank reality of these types of situations...You know, that's probably why they want the guy to end the sex so soon. Not cuz she's tired, but who's enthusiastic about having sex with someone you're just putting up with for what he can "do" for you?

 

Ok, several observations here:

 

-There's no "equality" here...and, IMO, that's the whole point behind significant age gaps in RLs...The older person is hoping they get someone naive, impressionable - who, looks at everything the older person says/does as if the older person walks on water.

 

And yes, usually the younger one is in a "dependent" role - they need someone to provide security for them (emotional and/or financial).

 

-Regardless of the ages involved, when the gap is significant, both parties are in two entirely different stages of life. A lady I worked with was late 50's and hubby late 60's. He just retired and she had more to go. He wanted to travel, be near family. She ended up coming in late, leaving early, always on leave...and finally she requested a transfer to the state where he wanted to be near his family. Oh, also, he had a hearing aid, back pain and looked like her father. She, although 50's was trim, fit, and good looking for her age. She once mentioned that he did not hike and/or bike with her.

 

Look, I've dated older. My 6 yr guy was in his 30's and I was in my teens. I wanted an experienced guy and yes, I was "mature" for my age, but I still look back and while I was "mature" I still had the brain and life experience of a teen, 20, etc. People change and grow up, hence, why it had to end with my 6 yr guy. I had to move on and go to school, the military, and develop my life. I've had opportunities to "reconnect" with him, but I one day said to myself "I'm soooooo past him". And I was...I developed tastes, experiences, and preferences that no matter how great the sex was and we clicked, I probably wouldn't date him seriously ever...

 

So, this chick was barely a teen and she will not be the same person at 25, 30, etc. Having kids and contemplating something serious with her, IMO, is just fantasy world.

[gaius]

Gauis and I have a 15 yr. split and part of me is definitely wtmonkey nuts with it, since I'm not cougar and I have never dated younger than me. There again, there it is.

 

He looks way older than me so, whatev's.

Let people decide for themselves.

 

Gloria, there probably are situations where what you say is true but it's like any other relationship age range really. There's no one guaranteed dynamic. It's different for each particular couple. I think it's unfortunate how the stereotypes and how people perceive they'll be judged scare some who would otherwise be good together off from dating one another.

 

Just in case anyone missed the joke, that's not actually a real picture. My male father figure and I aren't on speaking terms at the moment partially because of jealousy on his part of how hot she actually is. =/ It's startling how good women in their 40's and 50's can look nowadays.

[Arieswoman]

I am going to look at this from a different viewpoint.

 

I work in healthcare and have some female patients with a 10/12 year age gap with their older husbands. These ladies had the advantage of marrying a man well-established in his career, nice lifestyle, big house, holidays abroad, no need to work, etc etc.

 

This was no doubt great, when the age gap was 30/40, 40/50 and even 50/60.

 

However, now these ladies are 60/65 ish and quite healthy and spritely, but their husbands are succumbing to the ravages of old-age and it's payback time....

The husbands are starting with bypass surgery, hip replacements, prostate operations, and the wives now take on new roles. They become carers, chauffeurs, secretaries, dispensers of medicine etc. If dementia has begun to set in, then it makes for a very difficult situation.

 

I have seen so many almost confined to the house to care for a failing husband or been consumed with guilt because they couldn't cope any longer and had to move him into f/t residential care.

 

As women usually live longer than men in the normal run of things, ladies marrying (much) older men will probably widowed a lot sooner, and at an age where it will be very difficult to find a new partner.

[Timshel]

Let people decide for themselves.

 

Lol!

Sorry I misspelled your name babe, you'd think I'd know. Old age can do that to a person.

[SycamoreCircle]

I can only speak from experience. I fell for a "woman" that was 13 years younger than me. And through her, I found LoveShack.

 

I don't think there's anything wrong with dating someone 13 years younger than you. I do think there's something wrong with dating women in their early 20's. I would never advise it.

[jen1447]

I am going to look at this from a different viewpoint.

 

I work in healthcare and have some female patients with a 10/12 year age gap with their older husbands. These ladies had the advantage of marrying a man well-established in his career, nice lifestyle, big house, holidays abroad, no need to work, etc etc.

 

This was no doubt great, when the age gap was 30/40, 40/50 and even 50/60.

 

However, now these ladies are 60/65 ish and quite healthy and spritely, but their husbands are succumbing to the ravages of old-age and it's payback time....

The husbands are starting with bypass surgery, hip replacements, prostate operations, and the wives now take on new roles. They become carers, chauffeurs, secretaries, dispensers of medicine etc. If dementia has begun to set in, then it makes for a very difficult situation.

 

I have seen so many almost confined to the house to care for a failing husband or been consumed with guilt because they couldn't cope any longer and had to move him into f/t residential care.

 

As women usually live longer than men in the normal run of things, ladies marrying (much) older men will probably widowed a lot sooner, and at an age where it will be very difficult to find a new partner.

 

^ More considerations that essentially fall in with the sexual compatibility concern. I think everyone agrees that if you want to live the age gap life, that's great, more power to you. All we're trying to do is encourage informed decision-making.

 

A good analogy would be two people the exact same age, but let's say the man is a convicted felon. But they love each other deeply. Should they simply ignore the felon fact bc of their love, or should the woman consider the implications of that for her future, such as the man being in jail for the next 30 years, single parenthood, etc.?

 

Lol!

Sorry I misspelled your name babe, you'd think I'd know. Old age can do that to a person.

 

LS love strikes again!

 

I can only speak from experience. I fell for a "woman" that was 13 years younger than me. And through her, I found LoveShack.

 

I don't think there's anything wrong with dating someone 13 years younger than you. I do think there's something wrong with dating women in their early 20's. I would never advise it.

 

I don't think anyone who's encouraging caution thinks there's anything wrong either - I'm certainly not making a moral case against it myself - we're just suggesting that you know what you're doing going in.

[SycamoreCircle]

I'm of the opinion that love and maturity go hand in hand. We can all agree that love, at day's end, is a choice. We can all agree that mature choices are better choices.

[WasOtherWoman]

I am going to look at this from a different viewpoint.

 

I work in healthcare and have some female patients with a 10/12 year age gap with their older husbands. These ladies had the advantage of marrying a man well-established in his career, nice lifestyle, big house, holidays abroad, no need to work, etc etc.

 

This was no doubt great, when the age gap was 30/40, 40/50 and even 50/60.

 

However, now these ladies are 60/65 ish and quite healthy and spritely, but their husbands are succumbing to the ravages of old-age and it's payback time....

The husbands are starting with bypass surgery, hip replacements, prostate operations, and the wives now take on new roles. They become carers, chauffeurs, secretaries, dispensers of medicine etc. If dementia has begun to set in, then it makes for a very difficult situation.

 

I have seen so many almost confined to the house to care for a failing husband or been consumed with guilt because they couldn't cope any longer and had to move him into f/t residential care.

 

As women usually live longer than men in the normal run of things, ladies marrying (much) older men will probably widowed a lot sooner, and at an age where it will be very difficult to find a new partner.

 

This is definitely worthy of serious consideration. My mom found herself in this very situation... it was rough.

[elaine567]

This is definitely worthy of serious consideration. My mom found herself in this very situation... it was rough.

 

Yes the biggest age gap relationship I have known, meant she was basically a carer in her 30s, everything they did revolved around his health, then a widow at 40.

He was a very fit young looking man for his age, and then suddenly he just wasn't, age caught up with him. Sad.

[autumnnight]

A woman in her 30's can conceive, but fact is like after 35, it's gonna get harder and the likelyhood of complications and defects on the child rise with a woman's age.

 

Yeah, yeah, there's OBGYNs and clinics that will take all your money to put you on hormones, eggs and invitro and all that...but who wants to do all that just to have a child? For that I'd adopt.

 

I'm always amused at the "people without children experts on children and pregnancy."

 

I had all my kids before 30, but I can sit here and list a ton of friends who have had children after 35, even 40, with zero problem.

 

And look at the actual numbers. It isn't like 5% chance at 29....50% chance at 35.

 

I have one friend whose child has severe disabilities. She had him when she was 22.

 

Of course, I am not one who subscribes to the idea that if my child isn't perfect, I just have him/her sucked out and thrown away like a bum slinky.

[Lois_Griffin]

Hi

 

I would like to hear from members who are involved or have any experience with age gap relationships.

 

I am in one and in two minds to take things forward with this girl. I really like her and she is in to me too. She knows that I don't want a fling and am looking for something serious, which she is fine with. She is fine with the gap too and we get on very well together.

 

There is an 18 year age gap between us and she is in her early 20's. We have been spending alot of time together and it's great. What I am bothered about is in 1 or 2 years down the line by this time I am property hooked on her and she has a change of heart. She says she wants to take it to the next step and move in with me, which is great.

 

Has anyone got any experience of being in an age gap relationship as I would like to hear.

 

Thanks

I have to say this is extremely cliché.

 

Most young 20-something girls are still learning about life and are still evolving. Just because she's 'mature' isn't any kind of indication that she'll be around forever. I kind of figured she was pretty young when you kept stressing how 'mature' she was. LOL.

 

I don't see this lasting a lifetime but it will last as long as it's beneficial to her.

[SycamoreCircle]

I don't see this lasting a lifetime but it will last as long as it's beneficial to her.

i.e.---honeymoon phase.

[SSM3]

I don't see this lasting a lifetime but it will last as long as it's beneficial to her.

 

I find this staggering that you know her, and our relationship without even meeting either of us or knowing us!

 

Each case is entirely different.