Trying to get over her

[Zach-Reynolds]

Alright. Here's the deal. I was with this girl for a few years, everything seemed fine to me until we actually broke up. We're both students at the same university, and it was roughly three days after out breakup that I made the complete realization that it was not sudden at all. I made that realization when I saw her with another guy, a friend of hers who she had spent a lot of time with towards the end. Seeing her with him was completely normal at that point. Seeing her lean across their table and kiss him was not. So, here I was, watching this girl who I'd been with for three years get with another guy after only three days. That's assuming she wasn't with him before we broke up. Now, a few months later, I'm past the point of being sad and pissed off all the time, but I still find myself thinking about them all the time. I just want to move on and stop caring, but I can't shake this tendency to have my thoughts wander back to her and what I guess you would call her betrayal. Am I overreacting? Does anyone have any advice for getting over this?

[JewelD]

No, those feelings are completely normal. If it's any consolation, their relationship is probably not going to last very long. She hasn't had any time to grieve or process the ending of the first relationship.

 

Another comforting thought, what goes around comes around. I tell people this all the time because I've seen it happen in my own relationships. If someone does something foul to you, they get it back ten-fold. However, you might not be around to actually see this. You will probably have moved on and not care anyway.

 

I suggest getting a journal and writing down your feelings. It helps me sooo much. I'm a writer anyway, but I think it's good therapy to get your feelings out in a healthy way and to be able to look back on them in the future.

 

And at some point, you'll have to forgive her. Not actually talk to her and tell her this, but the only way to get over the pain completely is to forgive the person for YOURSELF. It's basically you letting go of the pain and accepting what has happened.

 

You can't fake it either, forgiveness will come naturally on its own once you've worked through the pain.

[aloneinaz]

To add to Jewels post, as a guy, I can tell you what you're feeling is absolutely normal. Sadly, what she did is normal as well. College age folks need and want to have different experiences and relationships. It sounds like the relationship ran it's course for her.

 

 

Who knows if she did anything with this other guy while still together with you. At this point, it really doesn't matter due to it not changing anything. Give yourself more time. Each day that passes w/you not having contact w/her or them will make you feel better.

 

 

When you're up to it, start dating again. You're young. Go sow some oats. As soon as you find a new girl that you really dig, you'll not put much if any thought into this ex.