Do fit women usually prefer someone on their level?

[E-Squared]

I have a question regarding this. There is this girl who I have a crush at my gym, and I can see that she is rather fit. In fact, she is a representative of Herbalife. Now I am going to say this right now, we have spoken before on different occasions. We're friendly, she seems really cool, and is often quick to say hi to me and whatnot.

 

However, I try to also keep an eye open for a few things. I am attracted to this girl, but the question in my mind is if women who are in that great of shape usually prefer men who are as fit.

 

 

I know that the gym isn't the best place to meet people, and I am usually there to work out, and I do have a regimen. While I may see some eye candy in the process, I don't try to talk to them. I also said that I have spoken to this girl before, and the funny thing is that we didn't exactly meet at the gym. What happened was that I remember seeing her there one morning with a couple of friends and just minded my own business. But later that same day, I ran into her at the college I go to, because she was recruiting people for Herbalife and recognized her. I asked her if she was at a certain gym that same morning, and she said that she was and also said that she had seen me that day. Ever since then, we've been rather friendly. Sometimes she'll even say hi to me on her own.

 

However, I am not in that great of shape. Sure, I am toned on my arms and such, but I have a gut as well. So I am also a little chubby.

 

Do you think women like her would more than likely prefer a guy who is on the same level as she is? Or should I just see for myself? Just wondering.

[Gloria25]

While I am a "fit" woman, I am not into gym rats and/or guys who are tooo much into their looks/body...I don't need a narcissist.

 

But yes, I prefer fit and/or lean.

 

Why?

 

-Sex. I need someone with energy/stamina. I also enjoy the visual of a great body. Actually, I was re-watching Magic Mike and "pow"!!! Damn, I was surprised how turned on I got. This morning while I was running, Alex Pettyfer girating in front of the gym mirror was on my mind!!!

 

-Lifestyle. I like to walk and move around. Yes, I'm a homebody, but not a couch potato...I want someone who after work and school, their life is spent on their butt. A nice walk in the park, around the corner, etc for an hr or 30 min a day isn't that much to ask.

 

And, yes, I eat pizza and other bad foods...but not 24/7. People who don't eat right are probably gonna have health and/or gastrointestinal issues....body odor even.

 

Also, if they do not take care of their body, trust me, the sloth will eventually flow into different areas. Soon, they will not be cleaning their car, home, etc.

 

-Confidence. Same way you are worried about a fit person not wanting you, same way I'm worried a non-fit person might be intimidated by me.

 

-Attraction/attitude. Again, I love the "visual" of a good body. I can only imagine us tussling around in bed and stuff...But also, it makes me attracted that they have grit, determination, and respect for themselves. Lazy couch potatoes who just sit around and get fat are a turn off to me. I respect people who work hard and just don't sit around and get fat and sloppy.

[bson1257]

I don't think it is a good idea for an obese person to try to date a physically fit person. It just doesn't work.

[E-Squared]

Who is to say that I am obese? While I may have a gut and love handles, I am far from obese. Besides, I am an active person as I do work out and exercise regularly.

[Krieger]

I like to run and really want to try cross-fit but it a time issue for me. It would be cool to meet a woman that likes the same. We could push each other and make fun of each other like HA I bet you try to keep up and go on a hike and make love out doors.

[Gloria25]

Who is to say that I am obese? While I may have a gut and love handles, I am far from obese. Besides, I am an active person as I do work out and exercise regularly.

 

Don't take it personally...cuz if I'm correct, people are gonna respond based on their opinions and/or experiences...

 

And yes, while you may not be "obese", still, for me someone with a "bit of this/that" is not gonna turn me on. Also, I worry about whether or not they are in "recovery"...like they are not "there" yet when it comes to changes in their lifestyle.

 

And I salute you for being active and working out regularly, but I don't like to date based solely on "potential", the person has to already "be" where I need them to be.

 

So, I don't know how this and other women may feel...some may be more forgiving about your fitness cuz you have something else to offer (ie a pretty face, sense of humor).

[newmoon]

i consider myself very fit, active, and lean. i don't want a gym buddy or a man who is only into physical fitness, but a guy who enjoys drinking beer each night and eating pizza and take-out won't appeal to me either. he doesn't have to be fit or even work out at all, but as a "fit' woman a guy with a similar outlook on health and fitness and food is preferred. a smoker, a fast-food junkie, or someone who won't go for an evening walk with me each night... we just won't mesh. personally, i think women in general are far more forgiving about body types and exercise than men.

[E-Squared]

Don't take it personally...cuz if I'm correct, people are gonna respond based on their opinions and/or experiences...

 

And yes, while you may not be "obese", still, for me someone with a "bit of this/that" is not gonna turn me on. Also, I worry about whether or not they are in "recovery"...like they are not "there" yet when it comes to changes in their lifestyle.

 

And I salute you for being active and working out regularly, but I don't like to date based solely on "potential", the person has to already "be" where I need them to be.

 

So, I don't know how this and other women may feel...some may be more forgiving about your fitness cuz you have something else to offer (ie a pretty face, sense of humor).

I do have a nice face, from what I've been told, and that one girl told me that I am funny.

 

By the way, when you talk about "heavy" people, try looking up Sammo Hung, who is a heavy guy but can move pretty quickly. He is also a martial artist.

[Gloria25]

While I have seen a ton of thin guys going out with bigger girls, I have seen very few thinner/fit women dating an out of shape guy. That whole fat is beautiful, curvy trend does not cover men. Sorry.

 

Cuz thin/fit women have "options"....

 

We already did a whole thread in the "Dating" section about skinny/scrawny guys who go after bigger women, and IMO, they looked past the woman's size out of desperation and/or hopes they could date her cuz she didn't have many options. Eh, but then again, guys will probably take a pretty face over a fit/trim body - hence why some women out of shape can still land some guys.

[E-Squared]

Cuz thin/fit women have "options"....

 

We already did a whole thread in the "Dating" section about skinny/scrawny guys who go after bigger women, and IMO, they looked past the woman's size out of desperation and/or hopes they could date her cuz she didn't have many options. Eh, but then again, guys will probably take a pretty face over a fit/trim body - hence why some women out of shape can still land some guys.

Truth be told, I am a little turned on by a woman who has a little extra weight. There is something about a soft and round tummy that turns me on.

[Gloria25]

Truth be told, I am a little turned on by a woman who has a little extra weight. There is something about a soft and round tummy that turns me on.

 

And there you go, you answered your own question...

 

Look, some say that "water seeks its own level"...so, you probably like a little heavier woman cuz you are also a little heavier and feel more comfy with someone at your "level"...hence, the title of your thread.

 

So yes, the Herbalife chick and/or any other fit/thin chick are probably gonna prefer someone at their level too.

[Gloria25]

I do have a nice face, from what I've been told, and that one girl told me that I am funny.

 

By the way, when you talk about "heavy" people, try looking up Sammo Hung, who is a heavy guy but can move pretty quickly. He is also a martial artist.

 

Yes, I've seen the IP Man movies on Netflix...

 

Actually, I enjoy martial arts and/or Blackploitation movies on a Saturday afternoon

 

But, he's also big-boned...so, his body isn't just a bunch of flubber.

 

But I don't get your point. Not all heavier people are "fit" and/or in good health/shape.

[Auspecial]

I have worked in very large-scale public venues for a while, and I say with some authority that there is no rhyme or reason of what attracts people to each other.

 

I have seen quite a lot of variables with many different body-type couples.

 

Honestly norm has always been average guy/average woman, and a mild step below in numbers is fit guy/average woman. But I have seen a big rise lately in average woman/buff guy, and also in overweight woman/buff guy. I have seen these guys being very attentive to their women, so I am surmising that the current societal shift is for men choosing heavier women. In contrast to what many say, what I see over and over in real life contradicts this.

 

Of course, I am talking about objective observations on strictly body-type mixes, not all of the other un-seen qualifiers such as personality, status, career, family, etc etc etc.

 

My point being, you can't make assumptions about anything. Set your goals and keep focusing on those.

 

Body-types are only one small portion of what makes people attracted to each other.

[E-Squared]

Yes, I've seen the IP Man movies on Netflix...

 

Actually, I enjoy martial arts and/or Blackploitation movies on a Saturday afternoon

 

But, he's also big-boned...so, his body isn't just a bunch of flubber.

 

But I don't get your point. Not all heavier people are "fit" and/or in good health/shape.

My point is that don't judge a heavy guy by his cover. First off, I have been lifting weights for the past two years and I didn't get to benching 250 pounds overnight. Plus, I do work up a good sweat when I do run and I can also walk long distances without getting tired, and I mean long distances, like about six miles, maybe even more. Only my legs may feel fatigue, but I never feel winded or out of breath when walking that long.

[jay1983]

Truth be told, I am a little turned on by a woman who has a little extra weight. There is something about a soft and round tummy that turns me on.

 

Me too, I'm pretty fit guy, kinda muscular, very little belly fat and I like the same. I like slim gals too though, anything from a size 1 to a 10, maybe a 12.

[carhill]

My best anecdote from real life was the ladies in the cycling club didn't 'like' the guys who they could keep up with in the hills. I did OK on the flats, actually pretty well, but the really ripped guys killed me, and the ladies, in the hills. Their 'level' was guys who could leave them in the dust. Never had a date out of ten years cycling in that club. Sure had a lot of good times though.

 

I rarely ran into ladies who were heavy into fitness, maybe jogging or hiking or stuff like that but not the intense stuff we see today.

[WomenWubber]

Afaik, most people want someone who is like-minded and certainly on their "level".

[Ninjainpajamas]

You're confusing your situation with the feminist movement that all women should be validated of any size, looks and everything else...basically "beautiful" no matter what, therefore feeling confident in dating any man they desire.

 

This is to make up for a lack of self-esteem and also so they don't have to feel bad about being skinnier or unattractive, so that they can date more fit and attractive men if they desire so, and still not feel self-conscious about it and don't feel obligated to change anything about themselves.

 

So this culture doesn't apply to you as a man, your reality is going to be much different..and due to the lack of options as a man and the growing entitlement that women have with expectations, they're going to be able to date much more attractive and desirable men while you will most likely have to lower your standards and date someone below your attractive level as well as in worse shape than you are.

 

It's really the woman's sacrifice to date someone less attractive than herself and less successful, especially if she's fit and good-looking...that woman has a wide range of options, and not likely to be entertained by the likes of you.

 

However, every so often women shift from dating the wrong guys or guys with options, to a humble servant such as yourself...in this case, you might have a chance. She may now place a higher value on other qualities that a man such as yourself might have...plus you'll likely be smitten by her due to her attractiveness and even treat her better than a better looking and more fit guy.

 

She doesn't have to date you, but you might get lucky...she likely had just have been nice to you in the past out of a friendly attitude, rather than a romantic interest.

[Krieger]

Truth be told, I am a little turned on by a woman who has a little extra weight. There is something about a soft and round tummy that turns me on.

 

 

Back in the day a female had a muffin top and had a round tummy and a customer asked her how far along are you? I was dieing from laughing too hard. :lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:

[lana-banana]

Back in the day a female had a muffin top and had a round tummy and a customer asked her how far along are you? I was dieing from laughing too hard. :lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:

 

Yeah, it's hilarious when someone is humiliated in public.

 

The rant two posts above is honestly nonsense. Have you ever watched a sitcom? How many of them feature generally overweight if not obese men with stick-thin wives? The entire "dadbod" phenomenon is proof that nobody is expecting dudes to walk around with a six-pack. Men can have imperfect bodies and be celebrated for them, but God forbid you be a woman with 10 extra pounds. And God forbid you have 10 extra pounds and you aren't devoting every hour to losing them; that would make you some kind of crazy cat lady liberal feminazi.

 

OP: I am very fit (15% BF) and love Olympic weight lifting. I've dated men who were as hardcore about lifting as I, and men who were average-sized. My current boyfriend is pretty average but has become serious about the gym in the last few months and I couldn't love him more. Yes, I do think it's cool when a guy is really into athletics because it's another shared interest, but it's not mandatory. I wouldn't date someone who was significantly overweight or obese but that's because that would be a major lifestyle incompatibility. I want someone who understands I need to work out 5-6 times a week and eat right, and a dude who stays at home playing video games and eating chips is much less likely to understand. Besides, I want someone who shares my values. Exercise and good nutrition are extremely important to me.

 

Honestly, I think your biggest issue here is that she's a Herbalife salesperson. You might have a hard time determining whether she's interested in you as a romantic prospect or as a potential customer. Either way, any engagement with her is probably going to end with you shelling out a couple hundred bucks for protein shake kits.

Edited June 16, 2015 by lana-banana

[elaine567]

Honestly, I think your biggest issue here is that she's a Herbalife salesperson. You might have a hard time determining whether she's interested in you as a romantic prospect or as a potential customer. Either way, any engagement with her is probably going to end with you shelling out a couple hundred bucks for protein shake kits.

 

Yes, she may have her eye on you as a potential client.

 

BUT do not be put off by "the fit like only fit" opinions above.

She may have had her fill of self obsessed gym guys and would be very happy to go out with a normal guy.

You will never know unless you ask her out.

 

Both Men And Women Were Asked To Describe A Woman's Ideal Man. The Results Are Telling.

[Brigit]

I have a question regarding this. There is this girl who I have a crush at my gym, and I can see that she is rather fit. In fact, she is a representative of Herbalife. Now I am going to say this right now, we have spoken before on different occasions. We're friendly, she seems really cool, and is often quick to say hi to me and whatnot.

 

However, I try to also keep an eye open for a few things. I am attracted to this girl, but the question in my mind is if women who are in that great of shape usually prefer men who are as fit.

 

 

I know that the gym isn't the best place to meet people, and I am usually there to work out, and I do have a regimen. While I may see some eye candy in the process, I don't try to talk to them. I also said that I have spoken to this girl before, and the funny thing is that we didn't exactly meet at the gym. What happened was that I remember seeing her there one morning with a couple of friends and just minded my own business. But later that same day, I ran into her at the college I go to, because she was recruiting people for Herbalife and recognized her. I asked her if she was at a certain gym that same morning, and she said that she was and also said that she had seen me that day. Ever since then, we've been rather friendly. Sometimes she'll even say hi to me on her own.

 

However, I am not in that great of shape. Sure, I am toned on my arms and such, but I have a gut as well. So I am also a little chubby.

 

Do you think women like her would more than likely prefer a guy who is on the same level as she is? Or should I just see for myself? Just wondering.

 

I'm married so I can't say exactly what I would or wouldn't do now. I'm very fit and spend a lot of time taking care of my face, hair, skin, and body. If I was single I would want someone on my same level of attractiveness. It's only natural.

[StanMusial]

I know plenty of people that are "mismatched" with their spouse/gf/bf in terms of fitness level. For some people it is their hobby which may or may not be shared with their better half. It seems like this topic comes up frequently on here but it is really not that big of a deal if you are serious on someone. I know plenty of girls that are bored to tears by guys that work out 2 hours a day, drink no alcohol, and eat a chicken breast with broccoli for every single meal.

[PrettyEmily77]

I'm fit and healthy and am attracted to fit and healthy men regardless of their actual size or what they do to help them get there.

 

 

My BF is to me a semi-god, but in truth it's more to do with the fact that he is extremely comfortable in his own skin and oozes confidence; he's not especially buff nor is he particularly lean (love the fact he has some meat on him ). He's into martial arts and does a fair bit of running but he has never set foot in a gym whereas I go to the gym 5x a week (and do martial arts too) and that's fine be me - and him! We have the same overall outlook on life and health in general, and that's all that matters to me. Oh, and the fact he's a true gem

[salparadise]

If I was single I would want someone on my same level of attractiveness. It's only natural.

 

Well, yea.... but what's natural isn't something most people are comfortable discussing in these threads, because a) they're zoomed all the way in to micro view, b) they're extremely uncomfortable with the notion that their preferences are biologically determined (free will, really?), c) they are damn sure that anecdotal data from personal experience (summarized by their own synapses) is more valid than any general theory that might emerge from empirical data and statistical analysis.

 

Everyone tries to do the best they can, but women tend to be far more selective and will hold out until hell freezes over, or until they get exactly what they believe they deserve. They human gene pool is largely optimized by this trait in women. It's natural. Thank goodness there is enough variability in individuals to keep men thinking optimistically... or maybe optimism is our delusion. Men do the best they can too, but are more... flexible.

 

But to the point of the thread... if a woman subscribes to the perspective (delusion) that physical fitness and golden ratio proportions are paramount, and if she is confident enough in her ability to acquire such a perfect specimen, you can bet the farm that she will demand such. Same goes for pretty much any characteristic she fixates on (wealth, status, resembles her father, etc.) So if you see a very fit, beautiful woman with a pudgy guy... choose your assumption- she has other priorities (preferences), low self-esteem, or he looks like her father.