Do fit women usually prefer someone on their level?

[PrettyEmily77]

Well, yea.... but what's natural isn't something most people are comfortable discussing in these threads, because a) they're zoomed all the way in to micro view, b) they're extremely uncomfortable with the notion that their preferences are biologically determined (free will, really?), c) they are damn sure that anecdotal data from personal experience (summarized by their own synapses) is more valid than any general theory that might emerge from empirical data and statistical analysis.

 

Everyone tries to do the best they can, but women tend to be far more selective and will hold out until hell freezes over, or until they get exactly what they believe they deserve. They human gene pool is largely optimized by this trait in women. It's natural. Thank goodness there is enough variability in individuals to keep men thinking optimistically... or maybe optimism is our delusion. Men do the best they can too, but are more... flexible.

 

But to the point of the thread... if a woman subscribes to the perspective (delusion) that physical fitness and golden ratio proportions are paramount, and if she is confident enough in her ability to acquire such a perfect specimen, you can bet the farm that she will demand such. Same goes for pretty much any characteristic she fixates on (wealth, status, resembles her father, etc.) So if you see a very fit, beautiful woman with a pudgy guy... choose your assumption- she has other priorities (preferences), low self-esteem, or he looks like her father.

 

Empirical data and statistical evidence are the sum of individual, anecdotal experiences. To an individual, their won experience will matter more than any stats - every cancer patient will tell you that. This is perfectly valid because general theory is just that - theory; there is no value or merit to it.

 

 

IME, the men I know (I don't like sweeping generalisations...) are no more or less flexible or selective than women (LS wouldn't be LS if they were, after all). They too fixate on characteristics (cooking skills, chest to waist ratio, 'maternal' instincts, level of attractiveness, what their 'bros' / mum would think, number of dates / sex on a plate ratio). So if you see a very fit, handsome guy with a pudgy woman...choose your assumption - he has other priorities (preferences), low self-esteem, or his mum likes her

[runredlights]

I have a question regarding this. There is this girl who I have a crush at my gym, and I can see that she is rather fit. In fact, she is a representative of Herbalife. Now I am going to say this right now, we have spoken before on different occasions. We're friendly, she seems really cool, and is often quick to say hi to me and whatnot.

 

However, I try to also keep an eye open for a few things. I am attracted to this girl, but the question in my mind is if women who are in that great of shape usually prefer men who are as fit.

 

 

I know that the gym isn't the best place to meet people, and I am usually there to work out, and I do have a regimen. While I may see some eye candy in the process, I don't try to talk to them. I also said that I have spoken to this girl before, and the funny thing is that we didn't exactly meet at the gym. What happened was that I remember seeing her there one morning with a couple of friends and just minded my own business. But later that same day, I ran into her at the college I go to, because she was recruiting people for Herbalife and recognized her. I asked her if she was at a certain gym that same morning, and she said that she was and also said that she had seen me that day. Ever since then, we've been rather friendly. Sometimes she'll even say hi to me on her own.

 

However, I am not in that great of shape. Sure, I am toned on my arms and such, but I have a gut as well. So I am also a little chubby.

 

Do you think women like her would more than likely prefer a guy who is on the same level as she is? Or should I just see for myself? Just wondering.

 

 

In a sellers market the young, fit, career oriented 20 something women have all the bargaining power. They have the just beyond jail bait tight, juicy, young bodies men crave. They have bright futures, and are full of energy.

 

They will never be hotter or more attractive to men at any point in their lives than they are now so a girl like the one you're talking about commands the attention of top guys all the time. But don't discount yourself for not being roided out. It's probably suffocating for her when gym bros hit on her all the time.

 

My question is what's to stop you from asking this girl out? You're relatively fit, and you're furthering your education. You've got something going for you man.

 

 

On the other hand, she may just want to recruit you for Herbalife which is just a giant pyramid scheme btw.

[Popsicle]

You should just go for it.

 

Whatever you want just go for it, just be gentlemanly about it.

[autumnnight]

There is no guarantee regarding who will or will not be attracted to you. There may be some general things that apply to some people, but even that is sketchy.

 

The only way to know for sure is to try.

[Lois_Griffin]

Do you think women like her would more than likely prefer a guy who is on the same level as she is? Or should I just see for myself? Just wondering.

Well, since you say you 'have quite a gut,' I'd say she probably sees you as customer material for her Herbal crap, is all.

[E-Squared]

Yeah, it's hilarious when someone is humiliated in public.

 

The rant two posts above is honestly nonsense. Have you ever watched a sitcom? How many of them feature generally overweight if not obese men with stick-thin wives? The entire "dadbod" phenomenon is proof that nobody is expecting dudes to walk around with a six-pack. Men can have imperfect bodies and be celebrated for them, but God forbid you be a woman with 10 extra pounds. And God forbid you have 10 extra pounds and you aren't devoting every hour to losing them; that would make you some kind of crazy cat lady liberal feminazi.

 

OP: I am very fit (15% BF) and love Olympic weight lifting. I've dated men who were as hardcore about lifting as I, and men who were average-sized. My current boyfriend is pretty average but has become serious about the gym in the last few months and I couldn't love him more. Yes, I do think it's cool when a guy is really into athletics because it's another shared interest, but it's not mandatory. I wouldn't date someone who was significantly overweight or obese but that's because that would be a major lifestyle incompatibility. I want someone who understands I need to work out 5-6 times a week and eat right, and a dude who stays at home playing video games and eating chips is much less likely to understand. Besides, I want someone who shares my values. Exercise and good nutrition are extremely important to me.

 

Honestly, I think your biggest issue here is that she's a Herbalife salesperson. You might have a hard time determining whether she's interested in you as a romantic prospect or as a potential customer. Either way, any engagement with her is probably going to end with you shelling out a couple hundred bucks for protein shake kits.

 

Yes, she may have her eye on you as a potential client.

 

BUT do not be put off by "the fit like only fit" opinions above.

She may have had her fill of self obsessed gym guys and would be very happy to go out with a normal guy.

You will never know unless you ask her out.

 

Both Men And Women Were Asked To Describe A Woman's Ideal Man. The Results Are Telling.

 

In a sellers market the young, fit, career oriented 20 something women have all the bargaining power. They have the just beyond jail bait tight, juicy, young bodies men crave. They have bright futures, and are full of energy.

 

They will never be hotter or more attractive to men at any point in their lives than they are now so a girl like the one you're talking about commands the attention of top guys all the time. But don't discount yourself for not being roided out. It's probably suffocating for her when gym bros hit on her all the time.

 

My question is what's to stop you from asking this girl out? You're relatively fit, and you're furthering your education. You've got something going for you man.

 

 

On the other hand, she may just want to recruit you for Herbalife which is just a giant pyramid scheme btw.

Some of you guys have made points about Herbalife, which I DID say in the OP about how I have to keep my eyes open about how she carries herself towards me. She hasn't made any sort of pitches to me about getting into Herbalife, but she has mentioned something about checking out some class that she instructs in another part of town. Another thing is that I also think that maybe she can be a potential source for a story that I may want to do. In case you are wondering, I am also a journalist, so I kind of want to see if maybe I can do a piece on something related to fitness.

[RedRobin]

I'm very fit. I've tried dating 'soft' men and it has never worked. Partly because I could never quite get over the fact that they were squishy and I'm not, but even worse... ultimately, their hobbies mostly revolved around food and more sedentary activities.

 

 

While mine involve activities that require movement and exertion.

 

 

I've also found that the soft guys tend to prefer soft women, and being around those guys makes me gain weight and slide into unhealthy behaviors... They are always buying me food and treats trying to fatten me up. Of course, I'm doing the reverse on them... trying to get them off the couch or at least pedal a bike while I run. It is pure torture for those guys. Even when they start seeing results, they act like they are effing dying to have to walk a mile. Annoying.

 

 

As another poster said, water seeks it's own level. Stick to your own kind. You'll be happier that way.

[RedRobin]

Back in the day a female had a muffin top and had a round tummy and a customer asked her how far along are you? I was dieing from laughing too hard. :lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:

 

 

What made me, um, 'laugh', was a first meet with a man from OLD, who had the poor taste of sharing a story with me about a woman with a muffin top, etc, who sent him a bikini pic of herself and his reply to her. Similar to yours. He thought he was hilarious. I almost walked out. I should have.

 

 

This guy was no prize in any way. He failed to show his pics on OLD demonstrating HIS ample belly. Of course, in his mind he was some super stud, I guess. Tried to kiss me when we left. Um, no. Just helllllll no.

[elaine567]

In case you are wondering, I am also a journalist, so I kind of want to see if maybe I can do a piece on something related to fitness.

 

Good angle.

Seize the day.

Good luck.

[salparadise]

Empirical data and statistical evidence are the sum of individual, anecdotal experiences. To an individual, their won experience will matter more than any stats - every cancer patient will tell you that. This is perfectly valid because general theory is just that - theory; there is no value or merit to it.

 

the men I know (I don't like sweeping generalisations...) are no more or less flexible or selective than women

 

I'm witcha on dat sugga... doesn't it just piss you off when stuff like rationality and scientific method imply that what you want to believe and the carefully constructed rigid little paradigm may not be correct? It's just the most aggravating shyte on the perfectly flat surface of the earth, ain't it?

[jen1447]

The slaves to science are some of the dumbest people I know when it comes to the real world. The lab is all well and good but so is life outside the lab. I don't really need a study to tell me that sticking a spoon in an electrical socket would be bad, but a lot of 'scientific method' types do seem to need one to tell them things like hanging out in high crime areas is risky, etc. Not a shred of common sense.

 

(I know a whitebread suburbs guy forex who blindly follows his GPS into 'the hood' and wherever else it tells him to go. When I ask him wtf he's doing, he looks at me like he never met me before. He's an electrical engineer. It's hilarious. )

[PrettyEmily77]

I'm witcha on dat sugga... doesn't it just piss you off when stuff like rationality and scientific method imply that what you want to believe and the carefully constructed rigid little paradigm may not be correct? It's just the most aggravating shyte on the perfectly flat surface of the earth, ain't it?

 

 

My condescending tone / sarcasm radar is off atm so I'm assuming we are in actual agreement, yes? We both agree that individuals have the complete right to have their own little rigid paradigms and that all that matters is that these paradisgms are correct to them, whatever science / reason says, yes? The bolded threw me a bit (for real, bro )

Edited June 16, 2015 by PrettyEmily77

[Davey L]

While I have seen a ton of thin guys going out with bigger girls, I have seen very few thinner/fit women dating an out of shape guy. That whole fat is beautiful, curvy trend does not cover men. Sorry.

 

A contrary example. When I met my wife I was a bit overweight due to no exercise, office job, junk food and beers after work. Not fat, exactly, but a bit chubby. My wife-to-be was an extremely attractive slim yet curvy black woman.

 

Now many years later and in my late 40s my wife had gained weight (although she is still attractive) but I have lost weight and gained muscle (not through going to the gym, just hard work on house refurbishment and changed lifestyle) and am in better shape now than at any time in my adult life.

 

Kind of evens out.

[E-Squared]

I'm very fit. I've tried dating 'soft' men and it has never worked. Partly because I could never quite get over the fact that they were squishy and I'm not, but even worse... ultimately, their hobbies mostly revolved around food and more sedentary activities.

 

 

While mine involve activities that require movement and exertion.

 

 

I've also found that the soft guys tend to prefer soft women, and being around those guys makes me gain weight and slide into unhealthy behaviors... They are always buying me food and treats trying to fatten me up. Of course, I'm doing the reverse on them... trying to get them off the couch or at least pedal a bike while I run. It is pure torture for those guys. Even when they start seeing results, they act like they are effing dying to have to walk a mile. Annoying.

 

 

As another poster said, water seeks it's own level. Stick to your own kind. You'll be happier that way.

I know what you're trying to say, and while I won't argue with the points you've made, but it's like I said in response to Gloria: Don't judge a big guy by the way he looks. For starters, I am very active and the fact that I can bench-press 250-to-255 pounds, almost on the verge of doing 260 pounds, shows that I am relatively active. That's 250-to-260 pounds, that is more than my actual weight.

 

Besides, the fact that you have not seen a photo of myself kind of shows that you don't know how big I am. I did say that I have a belly, but I am far from a sedentary person. Plus, I am rather firm in my upper body, and have a lot of tone on my arms and chest.

[anduina]

Gym rats focus on body beautiful, especially women since it takes a lot more work for women to get in top shape and stay there, since we don't produce near the amount of testosterone that guys do.

[RedRobin]

I know what you're trying to say, and while I won't argue with the points you've made, but it's like I said in response to Gloria: Don't judge a big guy by the way he looks. For starters, I am very active and the fact that I can bench-press 250-to-255 pounds, almost on the verge of doing 260 pounds, shows that I am relatively active. That's 250-to-260 pounds, that is more than my actual weight.

 

Besides, the fact that you have not seen a photo of myself kind of shows that you don't know how big I am. I did say that I have a belly, but I am far from a sedentary person. Plus, I am rather firm in my upper body, and have a lot of tone on my arms and chest.

 

 

I've dated big guys too. It's like a Clydesdale next to a gazelle. Some women dig that. The BIG vs the small. I rather prefer a guy who is not all that much bigger than me, since that makes it easier for us to do active things together.

 

 

One of my number one 'emotional needs' is someone to share recreational activities with. This is something I've discovered over time. I've tried opening up my dating life and perspective, but ultimately, there are only so many hours in the day. It's not personal.

[Weezy1973]

Like attracts like. Just remember that and you'll be fine.

 

But also, for those that find themselves attracted to people that aren't like themselves, what does that say about one's self-esteem?

[autumnnight]

Like attracts like. Just remember that and you'll be fine.

 

But also, for those that find themselves attracted to people that aren't like themselves, what does that say about one's self-esteem?

 

Actually, it could say their self-esteem is just fine.

 

For example, some people want a traditionally attractive partner because of other people's perceptions or because they care more about what others think. One could argue that a person who can choose a partner THEY care about regardless of public perception has a higher level of self-awareness and self-esteem than a person who has to have audience approval.

[E-Squared]

Actually, it could say their self-esteem is just fine.

 

For example, some people want a traditionally attractive partner because of other people's perceptions or because they care more about what others think. One could argue that a person who can choose a partner THEY care about regardless of public perception has a higher level of self-awareness and self-esteem than a person who has to have audience approval.

Well, it is possible that this girl thinks that I am attractive, at least on my face. She is often nice to me when I see her and quick to say hello to me as well. She has also told me that I am funny.

 

It would not hurt to try.

[preraph]

I would say yes, fit people usually appreciate other fit people, but there are exceptions to everything. Think how many mismatched couples you've seen in your life.