Women get so many emails, they give up.

[LookAtThisPOst]

There's a woman I had recently gone out with on OKC that lives locally, and the only reason that she met me was because I knew her other friends pretty well in real life. This gave her some security that I was safe.

 

She said she only talked to 2 other guys than me at the time, but had no real connection with them, but I'm wondering if her "head was in the game" at all simply because she told me she's gotten around 100 emails in a week...no joke...and she isn't too crazy with dealing with that and was rather apprehensive about online dating in general.

 

So, I get the feeling, as men, we are just a number and a lot of women are so overwhelmed with online dating...that it really "skews" the nature of meeting in real life and organically.

 

There's also a certain amount of distress with women having to deal with so many men contacting them that they actually just take their pictures down and sign off...so sometimes its over before it's even started as the sheer QUANTITY of men that contact them is something they can't deal with.

 

So this explain why men a lot of men don't get replies, so I wouldn't necessarily take heed of the fluff pieces on her giving advice about "How to build a better profile 101." Because sometimes that doesn't even cut it.

 

Would you say the above explained is a good chunk of why women don't reply? Women are like "crap, I got 50 emails today...forget it, I'm logging off!"

 

Men get excited when they get emails, but when women get them, they are turned off by the amount they get.

[StalwartMind]

From my understanding, and this goes for many different types of online communities as well as to online dating/meeting sites. Many women are flooded with messages and I think anyone would find that a bit overwhelming. To make matters worse as I'm sure many can imagine, some of these are not very pleasant, and even if they initially are, if man messaging doesn't get the response he "wants", it can turn ugly fast.

 

In that sense I do believe there is some truth to why many simply don't have the energy or time to respond. Is this unfair and discouraging to men? Perhaps, but online communication is still "fairly new" and I've no clue if it ever will be possible to protect individuals from harassment/stalking and such completely.

 

I don't know if women on Loveshack experience the same, or how many members actually private message each other. Regardless of what reality may be, fortunately there are other ways to meet people online than dating sites/meet ups. No matter what, it can be easy to forget that there actually are some women that take the liberty to give good responses, even if they receive many messages every day. Perhaps they are super women and more rare, but wonderful none the less.

[Gaeta]

If all the men that contacted me were good interesting prospects I would feel overwhelmed but it's not the case. 80% of messages I get are crap so I spend more time deleting than reading profiles and replying so no, not too overwhelming more like frustrating.

[Keenly]

Huuuuuge waste of Time. They aren't actually looking for anything. They are waiting. They just sit back and do nothing while the men do all the work and she can send out two word responses with zero effort whatsoever in a conversation.

 

 

 

That's why I shut that crap down. Why waste your time.chasing women who clearly don't give a damn about the effort you put in?

 

No thanks.

[MissBee]

There's a woman I had recently gone out with on OKC that lives locally, and the only reason that she met me was because I knew her other friends pretty well in real life. This gave her some security that I was safe.

 

She said she only talked to 2 other guys than me at the time, but had no real connection with them, but I'm wondering if her "head was in the game" at all simply because she told me she's gotten around 100 emails in a week...no joke...and she isn't too crazy with dealing with that and was rather apprehensive about online dating in general.

 

So, I get the feeling, as men, we are just a number and a lot of women are so overwhelmed with online dating...that it really "skews" the nature of meeting in real life and organically.

 

There's also a certain amount of distress with women having to deal with so many men contacting them that they actually just take their pictures down and sign off...so sometimes its over before it's even started as the sheer QUANTITY of men that contact them is something they can't deal with.

 

So this explain why men a lot of men don't get replies, so I wouldn't necessarily take heed of the fluff pieces on her giving advice about "How to build a better profile 101." Because sometimes that doesn't even cut it.

Would you say the above explained is a good chunk of why women don't reply? Women are like "crap, I got 50 emails today...forget it, I'm logging off !"

Men get excited when they get emails, but when women get them, they are turned off by the amount they get.

 

 

Lol the bold made me laugh out loud literally .

 

I don't think that's the process for most women, you see a ton of emails then log off.

 

I'd say if I get a 100 emails a week, I check them all. After a while it's disappointing because 80 of them will be just "hi" from men in whom I have no interest for various reasons but namely all the things I'm trying to filter out for that's exactly what they are. So after 80 messages just saying hi when you see you have a new message it's like hmmm let's see what ridiculousness lies in store now. The other 20 might include some that are obscene, real messages I've gotten from men I've never spoken to before include: "Let me get you pregnant, " "Can you tell me if my penis is too small," "wanna come over and watch Netflix," "Let's fcccuk," "What do those lips do" the list goes on.

 

That's why many women are apprehensive. It's not simply a case of: oh so many emails I'm scared.. It's oh God what kind of nonsense will this be. The hi ones aren't so bad just lame, the obscene ones are another thing.

 

Then there are 2 interesting ones where the person is within the realm of what you'd want and sends a thoughtful message. I've seen complaints about thoughtful messages being sent and no response so that means women don't like thoughtful messages, no. A thoughtful message PLUS you being someone she would want is what's necessary for interest. I will always appreciate a thoughtful message over hi and that gets a man in the door but if the message is thoughtful but based on my filters and what I want you're still not it then the message doesn't change that.

 

Because of this too, contrary to the idea that women sit back doing nothing lol , I tend to be proactive about messaging the men I'm interested in as if I sit back waiting I will get 100 messages from bozos. So instead of doing that, if I'm actively looking, I favorite the men I see as prospectives. Usually me just favoriting them leads to them reaching out if they are interested or I'll send messages to them. I've had the most success when I do the messaging than just sitting idly by getting message after message from men I'm in no way into.

Edited June 16, 2015 by MissBee

[Phoe]

I got about 8 messages per day.

 

Reasonable, easy to reply to, so I replied to all the ones that weren't sexual (which was maybe 1 a day).

 

The odd part was that out of those 8, after replying to them, maybe 4 would ever reply back.

 

OLD wasn't hard at all, in terms of managing messages.

[Rejected Rosebud]

Huuuuuge waste of Time. They aren't actually looking for anything. They are waiting. They just sit back and do nothing while the men do all the work and she can send out two word responses with zero effort whatsoever in a conversation.

Haha of course "they" are waiting!! "They" are waiting for the messages from guys who interest them and for whatever the girls' reasons inspire them to respond!! Why is that such a crime? Nobody is making you do "all the work" (though I really don't even understand why you think sending an email is such a strenuous activity and if you do then why the heck do it???!? :confused:) I mean srsly if she is NOT interested in you WHY is she BAD because she isn't putting effort into a conversation with you she was probably being POLITE with the 2 word response, if she likes a guy I am sure she is not being like this!!!

 

 

 

That's why I shut that crap down. Why waste your time.chasing women who clearly don't give a damn about the effort you put in?

 

:eek: Sheesh, thank GOODNESS you shut it down! Why are women supposed to give a damn about your "efforts" everybody there is looking for others who they WANT to be with, who they think might be RIGHT for them, they don't need to make the rest of the guys feel better about their efforts - which I don't think are that hard to do anyway. I mean if you would like a girlfriend what is the big problem with just putting it out there and accepting that not every girl or even most girls are going to be interested???

[Keenly]

Haha of course "they" are waiting!! "They" are waiting for the messages from guys who interest them and for whatever the girls' reasons inspire them to respond!! Why is that such a crime? Nobody is making you do "all the work" (though I really don't even understand why you think sending an email is such a strenuous activity and if you do then why the heck do it???!? :confused:) I mean srsly if she is NOT interested in you WHY is she BAD because she isn't putting effort into a conversation with you she was probably being POLITE with the 2 word response, if she likes a guy I am sure she is not being like this!!!

 

 

 

:eek: Sheesh, thank GOODNESS you shut it down! Why are women supposed to give a damn about your "efforts" everybody there is looking for others who they WANT to be with, who they think might be RIGHT for them, they don't need to make the rest of the guys feel better about their efforts - which I don't think are that hard to do anyway. I mean if you would like a girlfriend what is the big problem with just putting it out there and accepting that not every girl or even most girls are going to be interested???

 

You don't quite understand what my experience was.

 

Suffice it to say it wasn't worth the time nor the effort. A paragraph traded for one half sentence with poor grammar? No thanks

[Renton]

You don't quite understand what my experience was.

 

Suffice it to say it wasn't worth the time nor the effort. A paragraph traded for one half sentence with poor grammar? No thanks

 

"Must not respond with grammar corrections, must not respond with grammar corrections !!"

 

It might be worth it though.

[LookAtThisPOst]

What I get a kick out of is the longer the women have their dating profiles up...the more bitter they start to sound.

 

Here's an example:

 

I have come to the conclusion that the OLD does not make me feel better about myself. It only makes me feel worse. The games played, the users, the flakes, also theplayers.

 

I stated before that I did not think I was cut out for this. I've proven myself correct. Although I want to, I'm not gonna delete my account, only because it upsets me when I've started talking to someone and they suddenly disappear.

 

But I'm not gonna be here. If you have my number, utlize it! But know I'm done with the BS! I have no more patience and it's uphill battle. But I'm cool with it. I rock! I'm better than this!

 

Of course, I've already emailed you before, only to be ignored, but I have to find it funny that karma caught up to her for ignoring the decent men.

[Keenly]

"Must not respond with grammar corrections, must not respond with grammar corrections !!"

 

It might be worth it though.

 

When they speak in txt speak I seriously can't even.

[misspond]

I got about 8 messages per day.

 

Reasonable, easy to reply to, so I replied to all the ones that weren't sexual (which was maybe 1 a day).

 

The odd part was that out of those 8, after replying to them, maybe 4 would ever reply back.

 

OLD wasn't hard at all, in terms of managing messages.

 

My experience too, although I get maybe 8 messages per week

[Hyperfocal]

Well to zero the statistics, the world has about 1/2 men, 1/2 women. Every divorce creates exactly one man and one woman (let us leave out the non hetero's for statistical analysis). This means each of the women will indeed find and retain one man eventually, at a time.

 

I know some that are seeking a unicorn, others riddled with indecision. Barry Schwartz wrote on the paradox of choice, the more choices pop up, the more they delay acting on any of them.

 

So I just pieced together an "It's fair," message, as I review the fact that I thoughtfully and appropriately /messaged 19 women in 2 weeks, and got zero replies. Do results weigh more than hypothesis...

[rester]

What I get a kick out of is the longer the women have their dating profiles up...the more bitter they start to sound.

 

Here's an example:

 

I have come to the conclusion that the OLD does not make me feel better about myself. It only makes me feel worse. The games played, the users, the flakes, also theplayers.

 

I stated before that I did not think I was cut out for this. I've proven myself correct. Although I want to, I'm not gonna delete my account, only because it upsets me when I've started talking to someone and they suddenly disappear.

 

But I'm not gonna be here. If you have my number, utlize it! But know I'm done with the BS! I have no more patience and it's uphill battle. But I'm cool with it. I rock! I'm better than this!

 

Of course, I've already emailed you before, only to be ignored, but I have to find it funny that karma caught up to her for ignoring the decent men.

 

It doesn't sound like you get a kick out of this, though. It sounds like you email women even though you already dislike their profile, and then get upset when they don't respond. Why bother emailing these women if you don't like what they are writing to begin with? Why focus on all the stuff you don't like about women?

[Rejected Rosebud]

You don't quite understand what my experience was.

 

Suffice it to say it wasn't worth the time nor the effort. A paragraph traded for one half sentence with poor grammar? No thanks

Maybe I do understand, here are a couple of questions though that might clear it up for me.

 

1) if the girl is not interested in you why do you expect her to write alot to you?? Regardless of how much you wrote to her??

 

2) If she writes 1/2 sentence with poor grammar maybe that shows you she's not the type of girl you'd like??? So shouldn't you be happy she let you know who she was as far as her grammar skills anyway??

 

I can see why it didn't work for you though, you can't just be bitter and resentful because people aren't acting the way you want them to and successfully date at the same time I wouldn't think??

[Rejected Rosebud]

Of course, I've already emailed you before, only to be ignored, but I have to find it funny that karma caught up to her for ignoring the decent men.

No way you actually think that people get bad karma for not being interested in dating somebody?? :rolleyes:

[Popsicle]

There's a woman I had recently gone out with on OKC that lives locally, and the only reason that she met me was because I knew her other friends pretty well in real life. This gave her some security that I was safe.

 

She said she only talked to 2 other guys than me at the time, but had no real connection with them, but I'm wondering if her "head was in the game" at all simply because she told me she's gotten around 100 emails in a week...no joke...and she isn't too crazy with dealing with that and was rather apprehensive about online dating in general.

 

So, I get the feeling, as men, we are just a number and a lot of women are so overwhelmed with online dating...that it really "skews" the nature of meeting in real life and organically.

 

There's also a certain amount of distress with women having to deal with so many men contacting them that they actually just take their pictures down and sign off...so sometimes its over before it's even started as the sheer QUANTITY of men that contact them is something they can't deal with.

 

So this explain why men a lot of men don't get replies, so I wouldn't necessarily take heed of the fluff pieces on her giving advice about "How to build a better profile 101." Because sometimes that doesn't even cut it.

 

Would you say the above explained is a good chunk of why women don't reply? Women are like "crap, I got 50 emails today...forget it, I'm logging off!"

 

Men get excited when they get emails, but when women get them, they are turned off by the amount they get.

 

Yes X 1000

 

It's just weird. Not natural at all.

[MidwestUSA]

You don't quite understand what my experience was.

 

Suffice it to say it wasn't worth the time nor the effort. A paragraph traded for one half sentence with poor grammar? No thanks

 

ONE experience soured you on OLD?

 

Um, you know you shouldn't use nor without neither? "It was neither worth the time nor the effort". OR, "it wasn't worth the time or the effort".

 

I've rejected men for less.

[MGX]

No way you actually think that people get bad karma for not being interested in dating somebody?? :rolleyes:

 

It's payback.

 

 

 

From the male perspective: Ladies miss out on a good guy and wind up hating OLD. It's the old stereotype of the woman who moans about "where are all of the good guys at", yet misses all of the good guys in front of her.

 

From the female perspective: It's about choice. Doesn't matter how nice you are, if a man isn't exciting them, then the woman isn't under any obligation to contact them.

[MGX]

It doesn't sound like you get a kick out of this, though. It sounds like you email women even though you already dislike their profile, and then get upset when they don't respond. Why bother emailing these women if you don't like what they are writing to begin with? Why focus on all the stuff you don't like about women?

 

I think he's jaded and cynical after so many women declined to contact him through online dating. LookAtThisPost might be going through the motions, hoping to find someone different, but not being surprised by finding a woman just like the others.

[MidwestUSA]

Why focus on all the stuff you don't like about women?

 

Everyone should have a hobby.

[guest569]

Of course, I've already emailed you before, only to be ignored, but I have to find it funny that karma caught up to her for ignoring the decent men.

 

haha.. you think so?

[MidwestUSA]

haha.. you think so?

 

How exactly do we know that karma caught up with her? Interesting. Woman makes a choice to be done with OLD? So what? I did the same, I just didn't announce it on a profile. I went out and lived life, and karma dropped a decent man in my lap.

 

Maybe she did it as a cathartic release, I've seen the same from men. Again, so what? The more one sits around analyzing the motives of strangers on the net, the more difficult it will be to interact in person, should you meet someone. Carrying all that cynicism and jadedness is a heavy weight that won't make a good first impression. It's one thing to collect baggage from dating/relationships, but when you start accumulating it from lack of the same, you've got issues.

[Keenly]

ONE experience soured you on OLD?

 

Um, you know you shouldn't use nor without neither? "It was neither worth the time nor the effort". OR, "it wasn't worth the time or the effort".

 

I've rejected men for less.

 

I used various OLD mediums for two and a half years.

[Auspecial]

There's a woman I had recently gone out with on OKC that lives locally, and the only reason that she met me was because I knew her other friends pretty well in real life. This gave her some security that I was safe.

 

She said she only talked to 2 other guys than me at the time, but had no real connection with them, but I'm wondering if her "head was in the game" at all simply because she told me she's gotten around 100 emails in a week...no joke...and she isn't too crazy with dealing with that and was rather apprehensive about online dating in general.

 

So, I get the feeling, as men, we are just a number and a lot of women are so overwhelmed with online dating...that it really "skews" the nature of meeting in real life and organically.

 

There's also a certain amount of distress with women having to deal with so many men contacting them that they actually just take their pictures down and sign off...so sometimes its over before it's even started as the sheer QUANTITY of men that contact them is something they can't deal with.

 

So this explain why men a lot of men don't get replies, so I wouldn't necessarily take heed of the fluff pieces on her giving advice about "How to build a better profile 101." Because sometimes that doesn't even cut it.

 

Would you say the above explained is a good chunk of why women don't reply? Women are like "crap, I got 50 emails today...forget it, I'm logging off!"

 

Men get excited when they get emails, but when women get them, they are turned off by the amount they get.

 

Yes, I definitely agree with that. On line dating is very flawed, and unhealthy for both genders. Sure, strong relationships can happen but really I feel like this is the exception, not the rule. Plus, its such a big scam from the online dating companies. The run fake profiles, keep profiles up even after you have cancelled it, rotate old profiles in among new ones, all trying to make the site to appear that its a successful, heavily-used vehicle for meeting significant people. There are so many problems with it. But people get lonely, and keep hoping.

 

I have definitely thrown in the OLD towel, and will only go out with men I have met in person and viewed their behavior over some sort of timeframe.