To Tony

[Curiously girl]

)1)Why do some guys have selfish love?? Is selfish love obsessive with someone? How long can they wake up this?

 

2) How can you tell when it is really TRUE love?

[Tony T]

1. 1)Why do some guys have selfish love??

 

It's not just guys, it's everybody. Love is basically a pretty selfish deal. We love others because of the way they make us feel, because of the good feelings THEY GIVE TO US. Even Mother Theresa's love for the sick was seated in the good feelings she got helping them.

 

There are people who enjoy helping others, etc., and I suppose that's a form of love. But when you get right down to it, we won't be in a romantic relationship with anybody unless there's something in it for us. I don't call that selfish...just the way it is.

 

2. Is selfish love obsessive with someone?

 

It certainly can be. We become obsessed with someone because the great feelings we get from them are such that we want them all the time and we don't want to lose them. Instead of pouring out our love freely without strings attached, the obsession is purely based on the payoffs...the great feelings...that love brings to the individual.

 

3. How long can they wake up this?

 

I really don't understand this question. But most people are not really capable of altruistic love in a romantic situation, that is, love where nothing is expected in return. If someone is not getting some pretty good doses of those pleasure chemicals in the brain, it's just not going to happen.

 

So people basically never wake up to this. If there's any waking up to do, it's after a period of time and the feelings aren't as strong. That's when adjustments have to be made and hopefully the relationship can be converted from one based on love of the chemically induced high to love based on a mature, companionate experience between the two lovers.

 

Yeah, a lot of people will disagree...sure. So why do people break up. They do so because the cease getting the feelings they require to stay in the relationship.

 

2) How can you tell when it is really TRUE love?

 

True love, the kind that lasts a very long time, is discovered when the initial chemistry wears off a bit and the beloved still enjoy each other, still admire each other and want to remain together and serve one another into eternity. It doesn't happen real often, although it's the ideal.

 

There's no particular time this happens. But you know when it doesn. It's not something you will see right away in a relationship. True love doesn't just happen. It builds over a period of time between two people whose relationship has a solid base of friendship, respect, admiration, considration, forgiveness, fun, etc.

 

It's really nice when you find true love. But to find it you've got to stumble all over chemicals, making out, sex, resolving major disagreements, etc. It's definitely worth working on. Ah, I'm not so sure if it has to be worked on. If two people are right for each other, it just sort of happens.

 

I really hope you find true love. It's the best thing going.

 

Now all this is my opinion. I'm sure others have theirs. I would think that true love is whatever a person wants to define it for themselves.

[Curiously girl]

I know it can be silly question,but I just want to know more for that

 

What do you think about selfish love??

 

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1. 1)Why do some guys have selfish love??

 

It's not just guys, it's everybody. Love is basically a pretty selfish deal. We love others because of the way they make us feel, because of the good feelings THEY GIVE TO US. Even Mother Theresa's love for the sick was seated in the good feelings she got helping them. There are people who enjoy helping others, etc., and I suppose that's a form of love. But when you get right down to it, we won't be in a romantic relationship with anybody unless there's something in it for us. I don't call that selfish...just the way it is. 2. Is selfish love obsessive with someone?

 

It certainly can be. We become obsessed with someone because the great feelings we get from them are such that we want them all the time and we don't want to lose them. Instead of pouring out our love freely without strings attached, the obsession is purely based on the payoffs...the great feelings...that love brings to the individual.

 

3. How long can they wake up this? I really don't understand this question. But most people are not really capable of altruistic love in a romantic situation, that is, love where nothing is expected in return. If someone is not getting some pretty good doses of those pleasure chemicals in the brain, it's just not going to happen. So people basically never wake up to this. If there's any waking up to do, it's after a period of time and the feelings aren't as strong. That's when adjustments have to be made and hopefully the relationship can be converted from one based on love of the chemically induced high to love based on a mature, companionate experience between the two lovers. Yeah, a lot of people will disagree...sure. So why do people break up. They do so because the cease getting the feelings they require to stay in the relationship. 2) How can you tell when it is really TRUE love? True love, the kind that lasts a very long time, is discovered when the initial chemistry wears off a bit and the beloved still enjoy each other, still admire each other and want to remain together and serve one another into eternity. It doesn't happen real often, although it's the ideal. There's no particular time this happens. But you know when it doesn. It's not something you will see right away in a relationship. True love doesn't just happen. It builds over a period of time between two people whose relationship has a solid base of friendship, respect, admiration, considration, forgiveness, fun, etc. It's really nice when you find true love. But to find it you've got to stumble all over chemicals, making out, sex, resolving major disagreements, etc. It's definitely worth working on. Ah, I'm not so sure if it has to be worked on. If two people are right for each other, it just sort of happens. I really hope you find true love. It's the best thing going. Now all this is my opinion. I'm sure others have theirs. I would think that true love is whatever a person wants to define it for themselves.