Mizz Layta Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 My ex and I were on and off for few years and we lived 4 hours apart. We were planning to meet up last time but the plans kept falling through because of conflicting schedules .Then he ended up meeting someone closer. He had met other females when we were part in the past but I know that they didn't mean anything to him because he would always come back to me despite the distance. This time its different because he didn't have a problem telling me that he met someone else .He openly admitted that he likes her allot. I was crushed knowing that he was taking another girl out ,kissing and getting to know her. I understand that he needs someone closer to him but it was a shock and terrible hearing him connecting with someone else. I told him that it was painful for me watching him dating someone else so its best we go separate ways. He agreed that it was for the best and he told me ``fare well`` and that was it That was 7 months ago and we haven't had contact since. The thing is, I haven't had much luck with dating. I had a big crush on another guy from work shortly afterwards which helped me to take my mind off my ex. My crush was flirting with me so I thought we had potential and he likes me back However, my crush never made a move or ask for my number. Then I found out from someone else that he has a live in gf.I still had a crush on him but he now left the company which put him out of sight ,out of mind . It made it easier for me to get over him. I recently had sudden urge to contact my ex just to see how he is doing. I thought about it more and I decided not to since its bad idea. I am in a vulnerable emotional state and if he is still with the same girl then I would be jealous and upset all over again . Now I find myself feeling jealous again about my ex being with someone else. I now find myself thinking about them having sex, hanging out and the fact that someone else took my place . I don't understand why I am feeling crappy again if I didn't contact my ex. why do I feel like the old wounds are opened again without contacting him ?Did my crush distracted me from dealing with my pain? Link to post Share on other sites
La.Primavera Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 I think you are absolutely right. Your crush distracted you from dealing with the pain of your ex, like a rebound relationship would but now that he is gone those feelings for the ex have resurfaced and you need to deal with them in order to move on. Dating can be hard but I would encourage you to keep trying. You might find someone really special who single and ideally lives in your area. Continuing no contact is also a good idea, otherwise you risk causing yourself more pain in the long run. You deserve just as much happiness in your life as your ex does. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
na49 Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 I think you are just reminding yourself of your pain, which is why it feels like you are "opening old wounds". Nothing's changed with your situation but your mind (thoughts). You've probably known they'd be having sex, hanging out, and that someone took your place, for a while. Chalk it up as a bad day/week and keep moving forward. You could just be lonely, and want to talk to your ex because he is familiar. He's definitely the last person you should talk to though. As hard as it is to believe, I'm sure there will be other guys. You just need to keep doing your thing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 Some great replies to your post already. I will add for you to think about this logically. Why are you revisiting an ex that's been out of your life for so long? The obvious reason is you haven't found anyone yet to replace him. If the crush had worked out for you, the last thing you'd be doing is posting on this forum about the ex. You'd be happy and content in that new relationship. You would care less what the ex is up to. With you being able to have a crush on someone new, that alone should tell you that you're doing great. You just need to keep on dating until your next love appears in your life. Be patient. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mizz Layta Posted June 17, 2015 Author Share Posted June 17, 2015 UPDATE: I mentioned in my original post that my crush left the company. Well I wasn't sure if he left for sure but I assumed he did because his name was off the schedule and I didn't see his car in the parking lot anymore. We work in big building so we didn't always work on same floors everyday I was curious what happened to him so I asked the lady that does the schedules .She confirmed that he resigned and has left the company. I know my crush was off limits since he already has a gf but I am feeling bumped out now that I know he is gone for good. I am feeling more down today.Hopefully tomorrow is a new day Link to post Share on other sites
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