Aries82 Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 Hi again my friends and thank you for everything. I am not sure am I happy for writing this in a category "second chances", but my ego is huge. In short I was in lesbian relationship/marriage for 7 years and she left me in august last year for not specific reasons (see my other threads). My last thread was in april and I was on the edge to call her or not, and I did and I do not regret that. Everybody told me not to do that, suggesting that I stick with NC and I did for months, but I could not handle that anymore. This is what happened when I contact her (sorry for my english): I called her on skype (she lives in a another country, 4 hours driving) and she could not believe that I called. We were crying, fighting, screaming etc. during conversation and at the end we agreed that she come to me for face to face talk. I could not believe that she is coming to see me, I was so nervous for days. I did not know what will I feel when I see her or how should I act (shake her hand or hug her, playing cool or fall apart in front of her). That is called to much thinking. That day came and she was standing in front of me with her bags in her hands, looking amazing and I hug her and could let her go for few minutes. We spend few amazing days together, talking, crying, drinking and yes we did slept together and it was really tensely.She even prepared romantic dinner when I came from work, to celebrate my new job. She said she loves me, but her heart is closed and she need to fight against her demons, confusing I know. I asked her very direct questions and she could not answer that, like "do you know what you want, what are we etc."When I said I love you she said she loves me too, but we are not together, am I tricked in a friends with benefits zone or what is it? She is acting yes and no with me, like she wants me in her life that I am close to her, but not too close.We stayed in contact, she even apologize when she is not responding in a hour or two on my message. How should I act, any advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Aries82 Posted June 19, 2015 Author Share Posted June 19, 2015 Maybe I did not write that well, trying to not to be boring with a long post I missed few details, but in general that was it, so please I need help, I do not want to be a fool anymore, running in a magic circle of pain, confusion and anger. Does anyone have any idea how should I act further with her, contact her often or wait that she contacts me, I do not want to be a toy. Please. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 This is an absolutely perfect recipe for disaster. Go Complete & total No Contact, move on, and do not ever engage with her again. Because if you do, you will never get out of the cycle YOU create. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Aries82 Posted June 19, 2015 Author Share Posted June 19, 2015 Wow,ok, thank you. I just can not forget that I do want to be with her and I do love her. But you as someone on the side have a clearer view, thanks for the advice maybe it is the smartest choice, for me. Link to post Share on other sites
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