Do modern women reject men too often?

[JuneJulySeptember]

I've said this time and time again on here too.

 

People love to bitch about things, but what actions are they actually taking to make themselves more appealing to women?

 

Women, especially hot ones, put many, many hours a week into diet, exercise, make up, skin care and hair removal.

 

What, exactly, are these guys who complain so much doing to become more attractive to wonen?

 

I started out from a bad place as a scrawny, pimply, awkward, shy,broke kid.

 

I spent years honing my appearance, personality, finances, etc. I can get just about anyone I set my sights on now... no lie. anyone. In any age group. I may have to try hard, even getting a rejection once or twice at first, but I still can get them if I'm interested.

 

I was by no means born with that. I developed it through very hard work which I continue doing to this day.

 

So guys who complain.. what are you doing, specifically, to turn yourself into a man women want?

 

You shouldn't have to 'work' for people.

 

No offense, but I look to date people who have the exact opposite mindset of yourself.

[loveweary11]

You shouldn't have to 'work' for people.

 

No offense, but I look to date people who have the exact opposite mindset of yourself.

 

But you won't get the girl of your dreams on that path. (I'm thinking you're a guy). Everything good in life takes work, even getting members of the opposite sex interested.

 

You cannot just show up with nothing to offer and expect someone to fall for you. You need to bring something to the table.

 

I've said it before and I'll say it again:

 

To get the girl of you dreams, you have to be the man of hers.

 

If you don't care to try, don't expect results. Same as anything else in life.

 

And no offense either, just making a point to the masses...

[minime13]

You should be doing the work for yourself, not others.

 

Uh, no woman gets a brazilian wax for herself.

 

That whole "doing the work for yourself" thing is a good general mantra, but let's be honest about a few things. There are things that women do specifically for men and to attract men. Push-up bras and low-cleavage shirts aren't about empowerment. High heels kind of suck. Beauty products irritate the skin. Sure, we like looking pretty, but we're not *just* doing it for us.

 

That is what this other person was basically stating.

[JuneJulySeptember]

You should be doing the work for yourself, not others.

 

You should go for people who have a similar mindset to you.

 

Part of the reason guys complain is because they go for women who don't wear makeup and work as preschool teachers and are kinda cute, and still get rejected. And it happens. A lot. Especially online.

 

It just does. It's the way the game goes.

 

Telling said guy to hit the gym and get a better job, and become Mr. Charisma so he can get aforementioned Ms. Preschool is the wrong message.

[xxoo]

You should go for people who have a similar mindset to you.

 

Part of the reason guys complain is because they go for women who don't wear makeup and work as preschool teachers and are kinda cute, and still get rejected. And it happens. A lot. Especially online.

 

It just does. It's the way the game goes.

 

Telling said guy to hit the gym and get a better job, and become Mr. Charisma so he can get aforementioned Ms. Preschool is the wrong message.

 

Why do men want ms. Preschool, if she has so little to offer?

[loveweary11]

 

Telling said guy to hit the gym and get a better job, and become Mr. Charisma so he can get aforementioned Ms. Preschool is the wrong message.

 

Correct. That stuff doesn't get you Ms Preschool. It gets you the hottest women on Earth.

 

Different thing, I agree, but what, in large doses, can get the "top tier" women, can in smaller doses get Ms Preschool interested as well.

 

You do have to have something to offer to attract someone... holds true for both sexes.

[minime13]

You should go for people who have a similar mindset to you.

 

Part of the reason guys complain is because they go for women who don't wear makeup and work as preschool teachers and are kinda cute, and still get rejected. And it happens. A lot. Especially online.

 

It just does. It's the way the game goes.

 

Telling said guy to hit the gym and get a better job, and become Mr. Charisma so he can get aforementioned Ms. Preschool is the wrong message.

 

Online is a different animal altogether. I've tried it, and it's not for me. It works for some people, and it doesn't work for others.

 

Women can complain about the same thing. If there isn't a spark there, there isn't a spark. There is no magical method of attracting someone who isn't attracted to you, or doesn't have interest in you after meeting you.

 

No, you shouldn't really do other things *just* for other people, but the things you do for yourself are also for others. There are some things that we all do specifically for the opposite sex, though. Or, I should say, to attract someone.

 

There is some truth to getting what you get based on your own efforts, but there is also truth to wasting your efforts on something you shouldn't. If a person isn't interested, why linger? It just makes you disgruntled in the long run.

[JuneJulySeptember]

But you won't get the girl of your dreams on that path. (I'm thinking you're a guy). Everything good in life takes work, even getting members of the opposite sex interested.

 

You cannot just show up with nothing to offer and expect someone to fall for you. You need to bring something to the table.

 

I've said it before and I'll say it again:

 

To get the girl of you dreams, you have to be the man of hers.

 

If you don't care to try, don't expect results. Same as anything else in life.

 

And no offense either, just making a point to the masses...

 

Yea, that's for you.

 

The girl of YOUR dreams is the hottest, and has the best career, and yada, yada.

 

Mine is nothing like that. Never has been.

 

Having a hot wife and the most money, and the best physique won't necessarily make you happy.

 

But doing that you like will. In fact, it's proven that doing things that you like will make you happy the world over. Find someone who likes to do those same things, and there you go.

[jay1983]

Why do men want ms. Preschool, if she has so little to offer?

 

Well I would think she has good character, assuming she likes her job and enjoys working children.

 

What do you mean by little to offer?

[JuneJulySeptember]

Why do men want ms. Preschool, if she has so little to offer?

 

Because it's not about having the best. Just about having somebody who makes you happy.

 

Compatibility.

 

I'm more compatible with a pre-school teacher than an investment banker.

[xxoo]

Because it's not about having the best. Just about having somebody who makes you happy.

 

I think that, for someone, she is the best. And he'll want to be his best for her.

[loveweary11]

Yea, that's for you.

 

The girl of YOUR dreams is the hottest, and has the best career, and yada, yada.

 

Mine is nothing like that. Never has been.

 

Having a hot wife and the most money, and the best physique won't necessarily make you happy.

 

But doing that you like will. In fact, it's proven that doing things that you like will make you happy the world over. Find someone who likes to do those same things, and there you go.

 

I don't dispute what you're saying at all. In fact, I completely agree and never do more than a hookup with anything less than what you are describing.

 

The point I'm trying to make is no matter what level you're playing at, you do, in fact need to be the man of her dreams to attract her. Even Ms Preschool. You have to be who she is looking for.

 

It's not all about you. It's about what she sees in you. What you can offer her.

 

If you have sufficiently improved yourself so as to be what women find interesting, you then have your choice of tons of them and can choose the one you are most compatible with.

 

So what are you *actually* going to do to change the situation?

[Phoe]

Why do men want ms. Preschool, if she has so little to offer?

 

Why is it so easy to deduce that an average looking school teacher has nothing to offer?

 

I've actually been struggling a LOT lately in my current relationship with feeling like I don't have much to offer, and putting a lot of expectations on myself that I feel I will never be able to meet. Quite frankly, I sometimes don't feel good enough for him.

 

He of course has had some words with me about this ("silly" and "ridiculous" come to mind)... and he has to remind me that there is more to a partner than a structured and itemized list of things they can or can't bring to the table.

 

I'm an average girl with a lousy job, who will be a teacher come the fall. I don't have a lot of relationship experience, and all in all have no idea what I'm doing. I'm a silly little mess.

 

Yet he still sees something in me.

 

Surely those preschool teachers have so much more to them as well.

[minime13]

you just don't get it do you? we can't get angry at the woman who cheated on us or dumped us on our birthday because we get rejected every time. next you will tell us don't go for women out of your league, yet even the women with no job and several kids and unattractive will reject us. and by the way we think women are people too. must be nice to have that natural charm and good looks. most of us aren't so lucky.

 

and many of you have made dating into a game. ask permission to kiss her or mention anything remotely sexual are you're out. weasel your way in through fake charm and you can get whatever you want whether it be a marriage or quick sex.

 

In all fairness, this was a thread originally started to get a woman's point of view about dating and relationships. You guys are getting it. Don't shoot the messenger.

[loveweary11]

I missed the context of why Ms Preschool was his reference point, but just went with it.

 

Please don't think anyone considers teachers not to be good catches.

 

From what we all read on this site, you're a good catch even if you're not working at all. Career choice has almost nothing to do with how most men perceive what a woman brings to the table.

 

You, my friend, seem to bring enough plusses to the table that we need a second table to hold them all. I'm sure every guy here would agree...

 

So, don't take this Ms Preschool character to heart. She's fictional.

 

Why is it so easy to deduce that an average looking school teacher has nothing to offer?

 

I've actually been struggling a LOT lately in my current relationship with feeling like I don't have much to offer, and putting a lot of expectations on myself that I feel I will never be able to meet. Quite frankly, I sometimes don't feel good enough for him.

 

He of course has had some words with me about this ("silly" and "ridiculous" come to mind)... and he has to remind me that there is more to a partner than a structured and itemized list of things they can or can't bring to the table.

 

I'm an average girl with a lousy job, who will be a teacher come the fall. I don't have a lot of relationship experience, and all in all have no idea what I'm doing. I'm a silly little mess.

 

Yet he still sees something in me.

 

Surely those preschool teachers have so much more to them as well.

[Krieger]

With anything when you have more choices, you are going to be pickier.

 

GIGS is rampant on OLD.

 

That is why it is great to be a white male in America. Dating for us is easy we can pick from Asian , Mexican, East African , India, south America , and middle eastern (hey some are hot IMO) woman.

 

I do feel bad for non white males you just do not have the options I have . I cant tell you the things non white woman tell me in why she will only date out her race if the guy is white.

 

I just wish some white woman would stop hating on white male and Asian female couples.

[minime13]

what issues? most of us are employed, have a decent home and vehicle. what is it that we need? giant bulging muscles? a full head of hair? dump our glasses? what?

 

Self confidence and a good attitude.

[minime13]

I have never once in my life met a guy that said he would have dated so and so girl, but the fact that she did not have a bikini wax turned him off.

 

As a woman, I have met a few men who expect you to be bare "down there" or no-go. Honestly, I think that's creepy as hell, though, so I figure those things to be a blessing in disguise. This is where I think some of us differ from others. Some feel "not my type" and move on. Others feel entitled to an explanation, and dwell on it if they don't get it. Therein lies the problem...

 

What I am saying is that people should be doing things for themselves, not others. There is a big difference between wearing push up bras, getting painful waxes, and walking around in uncomfortable heels all day just to get a man to notice you, and actually improving yourself as a person. Honestly, I think doing all those things just to get attention from men seems rather desperate to me. My GF never wears make up, heels, push up bras, none of that.

 

There are things you can do to improve yourself as a person, and there are superficial things you can do to your appearance for the benefit of others. Wanting to make yourself look good for your man or date, in my opinion, isn't desperate.

[minime13]

good luck with that one. women insist they don't want sex. if i take a woman out to dinner and don't mention sex, i just might get accused of having a "covert contract" for sex. its happened to me and this insanity would be too much even for dedicated conspiracy theorists.

 

Patently false. I have never insisted I don't want sex.

 

Like I keep saying, attitude is everything.

[minime13]

lol roflmao lol, this is the absolute worst of the worst of advice. it might sound good but it doesn't work. it's the ultimate meaningless pc nonanswer.

 

What do you want? You are getting answers from women about what women want, and then tell us we're wrong.

 

No, actually, we're not. We're kind of experts on this.

[minime13]

then why do so many women complain and complain that all that men want are sex? which is not even close to true.

 

Some women may complain that because some men only want that. I don't know about so many, though. I don't think it's the majority.

[Gaeta]

then why don't you tell me what attracts women? don't give me pc bs. give me what actually works.

 

I will tell you what attracts women. It's something invisible, something you have no control over, something you cannot practice, or rehearse. It's not found in books or on forums, it's found within you, it's called attraction. You click with someone or you don't. It's as simple as that. Some people it clicks right away, some it takes a long time. It's like throwing dice.

 

Look in the streets, are all people attractive and wealthy? NO. Look closely when you head to work tomorrow, tall, short, big, small, poor, rich, of any color, they have a someone. If only hot and rich attracted women then only rich and attractive men would be in relationship.

[Krieger]

Of course you can decide to do what you want with your time. And a woman can do the same, if she decides not to spend her time with you. Free will and all that.

 

 

 

I can't imagine ladies lining up around the block to date a guy just because he has a place to stay, a car, and a job. If you think those things are the key to attracting women, I can see why you are confused.

 

If woman want more than that what are they bring to the table? Once I get college done and a career I am not going to give any female the time of day if she never went to college , does not have a career no dead end job, and cant cook and clean ( I can do both and if you cant I not doing it all).

 

There is noting wrong with wanting a SO on the same level in life.

 

My only beef is when woman do not have goals and dreams like I do why do you think I would date you? Also if you happy working a BS minimum wage for the rest of your life NO thanks.

 

Some woman think they can bring noting to the table and want the guy to bring every thing to the table. In 2015 that is not going to fly it is not the 1950s .

[loveweary11]

what issues? most of us are employed, have a decent home and vehicle. what is it that we need? giant bulging muscles? a full head of hair? dump our glasses? what?

 

Yes to all.

 

It's not about what you have. It's about who you are perceived as and what you look like.

 

Having a job,a car and a place are only prerequisites that don't immediately disqualify you.

 

Dump the glasses for dating unless they are funky and go with some stylish look you have going on. (I need glasses/contacts)

If you don't have all your hair (I don't), shave it off, wear it very short or get it replaced.

Not many women are attracted to giant, bulging muscles, but the majority prefer a soccer/futbol type lean, muscular look.

 

Be fun, be charming, be witty, in addition to being yourself. Look as described above. Then you'll have plenty of opportunities to select the girl who is most compatible with you... the core some of the things above are built upon.

[minime13]

its either the majority or the vast majority. im sick of it and im sick of being made to pay for the misdeeds of her exes.

 

So, it's the majority of women you have dated? How does this conversation come about?