guest569 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Why should anyone accept someone they don't want to be with? Do you want to be on the receiving end of that? Sooner or later they will break your heart. I've been there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 I think some women are idiots but lets face it only idiot blokes would want to date a woman like that so leave them to it... Yes, there are idiots everywhere. It seems to me some men get focussed on SOME women, and apply all their behaviours and faults to ALL women. I had a man spill my drink at a bar once and he never apologised, he just laughed and carried on talking to his mates. ->Men are selfish, rude pigs and sometimes I just hate having a vagina. :mad: 2 Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 I can't be the only guy on the planet who's only hidden agenda is cuddling when inviting a girl over for a movie. I think people just assume it means sex. No, not to me. Sex means sex. Pizza and a movie means a movie and a playful argument about why pepperoni pizza with extra sauce is the best pizza that there ever was. Because it is. I agree with you. I prefer a partner to call things what they are, no hidden agendas from me either. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Halcyon Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Yes, there are idiots everywhere. It seems to me some men get focussed on SOME women, and apply all their behaviours and faults to ALL women. I had a man spill my drink at a bar once and he never apologised, he just laughed and carried on talking to his mates. ->Men are selfish, rude pigs and sometimes I just hate having a vagina. :mad: Exactly there are idiots and horrible people on both sides. This is not limited to gender, it's important to remember people are individuals and a few people from either side are not a representation of the entire group. Generalisations are bad mmmkay? Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 That's your fault. Not that every one of us wasn't where you are right now, but it's your job, as an up and coming successful dater or whatever, to determine what it is women find unattractive about you and fix it. You need to figure it out for yourself. We all do. My face isn't great. I feel like it's my worst feature these days after improving everything else. I just let the confidence over power what I lack in the face department. However, I have studied what very attractive male faces look like and I'm trying my best to get mine more like that... eyebrows, exercising jaw muscles to get a different jaw line, etc. I'm mostly talking about looks. They get you very far. You don't change who you are or your interests, you change what you look like and how you come across initially. You be yourself, but you improve a few superficial things to attract the opposite sex. Just reverse it. What makes a ridiculously hot girl you have never talked to, but are very interested in desirable to you? What she's into? Her confidence? etc? No. It's how she looks. You need to get the fish to notice the bait before you can hook it. If your lure/bait isn't as good as the guy fishing next to you, he'll be catching all the fish. All makes good sense to me in a perfect world but thanks for confirming why I have been so unsuccessful. I beg to differ looks play a smaller part to me than the way someone speaks and the level of intelligence they display but I guess I must be abnormal in this regard. Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Yeah, I can't stand this and it's very rude...I was a Meetup like this once...they curtly introduce themselves...then continue to have a conversation with each other and pretend you're not even standing there....they'll incessantly talk drivel in hopes you'll eventually take the hint and go away. Yeh I've encountered this numerous times too. They are rude as ****, but like you say its a zero confrontation zero effort rejection of you. I'm sure once it does the trick once for them they'll employ it often on guys they have no interest regardless of his personality. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 I mean, now you're getting into competition again. She's better this and that, and she has more to offer. It's not competition between the woman and the man. It's reality that many men want ms. Preschool teacher, for good reasons, and so she will obviously choose the best guy for her and reject the others. Link to post Share on other sites
Lokin4AReason Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 its not like at how is used to be before the smart phone(s), just to many option(s) which people can not decide on at what they really want from what I have noticed, they are picky and choosing at what best reflect(s) them, in a way Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 All this crap that makes dating so ridiculous, its why I chose to opt out, and you should to. It's much less complicated to just live out your life. If you just go through every day being you, not trying to pick up on anyone or try to be something you aren't, eventually you meet some one that likes you for you, and those are always the best ways to start a relationship. Until that happens, don't play the game. Take your mind off of women and watch your general demeanor get more positive and light hearted. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Yes, there are idiots everywhere. It seems to me some men get focussed on SOME women, and apply all their behaviours and faults to ALL women. I had a man spill my drink at a bar once and he never apologised, he just laughed and carried on talking to his mates. ->Men are selfish, rude pigs and sometimes I just hate having a vagina. :mad: Last man that spilled a drink on me was an absolute gent and has gone on to become a friend! He is great fun! I still tease him about it and he blushes every time... Such a shame he has a partner because I could ruin that man for all other women! I like my vagina... We have become intimate pals since I have been single! I would still like to pee standing up and be able to draw flowers in the snow when caught short rather than bare my back side to the elements!!! It would also be nice to share my lovely vagina with someone special... one day! :D:D:p:D:D:D 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 (edited) That's your fault. Not that every one of us wasn't where you are right now, but it's your job, as an up and coming successful dater or whatever, to determine what it is women find unattractive about you and fix it. You need to figure it out for yourself. We all do. My face isn't great. I feel like it's my worst feature these days after improving everything else. I just let the confidence over power what I lack in the face department. However, I have studied what very attractive male faces look like and I'm trying my best to get mine more like that... eyebrows, exercising jaw muscles to get a different jaw line, etc. I'm mostly talking about looks. They get you very far. You don't change who you are or your interests, you change what you look like and how you come across initially. You be yourself, but you improve a few superficial things to attract the opposite sex. Just reverse it. What makes a ridiculously hot girl you have never talked to, but are very interested in desirable to you? What she's into? Her confidence? etc? No. It's how she looks. You need to get the fish to notice the bait before you can hook it. If your lure/bait isn't as good as the guy fishing next to you, he'll be catching all the fish. LW I cannot disagree with you on the posts that you have made like this that I have seen in regards to bettering yourself and making yourself an in demand commodity. My only issue with it is it depends on what these guys in question are wanting when it comes to women. I've seen pics of the the type of girl (slender little hotties) that you like and for sure there is plenty of competition for those women. I've seen some clips of PUA seminars where the contrast between PUA teacher and his audience is massive. You look at the guys in the class and you can just tell why they are there. These guys look like they never get laid whereas the PUA guy on the other hand, his definition of doing it tough in his pre pua days would have been regularly having ONS with just 6s, but now the new improved him sleeps with HB8s regularly. I'm sure many of the joe shmoes in the class while they would love to hookup up with an 8 would have been plenty happy to get nsa with average women. To me it depends on what these guys want in terms of how much they really lack or need to rebuild themselves to make them worthwhile for the average women let alone the hotties you go for. Most of the average looking 'nice guys' I knew struggled. These guys were not looking for Paris Hilton wannabees. They were after average looking women very similar in nature to themselves - the sweet girl next door type. They didn't want a fat girl but they didn't need a gym fit girl, they were not looking for a vivacious/confident girl or an exciting life girl or a party girl. For instance I guess you could say my sisters and female cousins were the equivalent of the female nice guy, and while they were not necessarily asking for a lot, they had no interest in dating their equivalent. You transformed your physique and I have spent 100s of hours in the gym likewise but some guys will feel resentment at having to do that and build a great paying career just to get a gf that simply doesn't over eat I personally believe the hookup culture, suck ups on social media, and the imbalances on OLD has distorted expectations for many women (not all but especially younger/slimmer women) when it comes to guy's these days. The bottom line though is guys have to adapt, and a number of times I've seen when they do and start to get success the boot is now on their foot (which ideally is not what women want -another guy only interested in nsa) Edited June 19, 2015 by ascendotum 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Looks get men noticed sure, but if the hottest guy is standing there looking weird, or mumbles into his boots or he has a foul mouth or he comes across as thick as sh*t, then he has no chance either with decent women. Being interesting, being intelligent, being funny, being confident all tick the right boxes. Men's obsession with the gym is scary too. I guess most women would rather have some emotional connection with a guy for two hours than him spend that 2 hours pushing weights in a gym. Self obsession may get a guy noticed in a club, but self obsession is not going to necessarily land him a long term gf. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 It's much less complicated to just live out your life. If you just go through every day being you, not trying to pick up on anyone or try to be something you aren't, eventually you meet some one that likes you for you, and those are always the best ways to start a relationship. Have you tried it? I did. For 8 years I didn't look. I lived my life to the fullest, concentrated on building my career, put my kid through college, devote time to family and friends, and NO one ever knocked at my door and said: I am your man. It's not true if you don't look it will magically fall on your lap. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 LW I cannot disagree with you on the posts that you have made like this that I have seen in regards to bettering yourself and making yourself an in demand commodity. My only issue with it is it depends on what these guys in question are wanting when it comes to women. I've seen pics of the the type of girl (slender little hotties) that you like and for sure there is plenty of competition for those women. I've seen some clips of PUA seminars where the contrast between PUA teacher and his audience is massive. You look at the guys in the class and you can just tell why they are there. These guys look like they never get laid whereas the PUA guy on the other hand, his definition of doing it tough in his pre pua days would have been regularly having ONS with just 6s, but now the new improved him sleeps with HB8s regularly. I'm sure many of the joe shmoes in the class while they would love to hookup up with an 8 would have been plenty happy to get nsa with average women. To me it depends on what these guys want in terms of how much they really lack or need to rebuild themselves to make them worthwhile for the average women let alone the hotties you go for. Most of the average looking 'nice guys' I knew struggled. These guys were not looking for Paris Hilton wannabees. They were after average looking women very similar in nature to themselves - the sweet girl next door type. They didn't want a fat girl but they didn't need a gym fit girl, they were not looking for a vivacious/confident girl or an exciting life girl or a party girl. For instance I guess you could say my sisters and female cousins were the equivalent of the female nice guy, and while they were not necessarily asking for a lot, they had no interest in dating their equivalent. You transformed your physique and I have spent 100s of hours in the gym likewise but some guys will feel resentment at having to do that and build a great paying career just to get a gf that simply doesn't over eat I personally believe the hookup culture, suck ups on social media, and the imbalances on OLD has distorted expectations for many women (not all but especially younger/slimmer women) when it comes to guy's these days. The bottom line though is guys have to adapt, and a number of times I've seen when they do and start to get success the boot is now on their foot (which ideally is not what women want -another guy only interested in nsa) This for me was a thought provoking posts on many levels because I can relate to it. I have never been a large obese guy, in fact I have always been that skinny guy. For years I believed I looked good enough to attract the sort f female I liked. Reality told me otherwise. Truly speaking I don't think many people want to date their equivalent. Just pains me really that players seem to do so well but the good guy gets nowhere. Link to post Share on other sites
GoodOnPaper Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Self obsession may get a guy noticed in a club, but self obsession is not going to necessarily land him a long term gf. The thing is, for your typical struggling guy, assuming he has a handle on basic hygiene and how not to be rude, getting noticed is WAY more difficult than turning a dating relationship into something long term. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Have you tried it? I did. For 8 years I didn't look. I lived my life to the fullest, concentrated on building my career, put my kid through college, devote time to family and friends, and NO one ever knocked at my door and said: I am your man. It's not true if you don't look it will magically fall on your lap. I also like you tried the sit back approach and like you found it very ineffective. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Just pains me really that players seem to do so well but the good guy gets nowhere. Players spend a lot of time honing their craft, few are innate players, circumstances make them that way. They have learned to protect themselves and just know how to use the stuff that they have learned to make life work for them. No-one gets a free pass. Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Players spend a lot of time honing their craft, few are innate players, circumstances make them that way. They have learned to protect themselves and just know how to use the stuff that they have learned to make life work for them. No-one gets a free pass. I take a particularly dim view of people who treat females as objects and of people who trick and charm them into sex, only to kick them to the kerb when the next hot thing comes along. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Have you tried it? I did. For 8 years I didn't look. I lived my life to the fullest, concentrated on building my career, put my kid through college, devote time to family and friends, and NO one ever knocked at my door and said: I am your man. It's not true if you don't look it will magically fall on your lap. Every relationship I've ever had magically fell into my lap. I'm just lucky. Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Players spend a lot of time honing their craft, few are innate players, circumstances make them that way. They have learned to protect themselves and just know how to use the stuff that they have learned to make life work for them. No-one gets a free pass. I disagree. Some do some don't. Some work their way up from being geeks, but plenty are naturals or just unpolished stones that picked up the tricks of the trade along the way as they slept with and interacted with more women. The guys I know who did well did not read pua books or watch videos or go to seminars. They had the looks to do fairly well from a young age and subsequently gained more (cocky) confidence and psychological edge on knowing how to play women as the successful encounters mounted up. Also being good looking women, cut you a lot of slack when it comes to chatting up...they are often not looking for things to disqualify you on since they are attracted to you, and all the guy has to do is not **** it up. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 I take a particularly dim view of people who treat females as objects and of people who trick and charm them into sex, only to kick them to the kerb when the next hot thing comes along. Many true players do not kick to the kerb, they keep them in their stack for when they need them next. Some will keep the plates spinning for years. Regular sex with multiple women and no commitment is the name of the game. Some women know when they are being played and don't care and some have NO IDEA whatsoever. Players - Lifestyle choice, or just protecting their heart maybe? Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Many true players do not kick to the kerb, they keep them in their stack for when they need them next. Some will keep the plates spinning for years. Regular sex with multiple women and no commitment is the name of the game. Some women know when they are being played and don't care and some have NO IDEA whatsoever. Players - Lifestyle choice, or just protecting their heart maybe? Probably because I cant get any I have a certain resentment towards players but the biggest issue I have with them is morally because they just perpetuate the myth every guy is just interested in sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Timshel Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 All this crap that makes dating so ridiculous, its why I chose to opt out, and you should to. It's much less complicated to just live out your life. If you just go through every day being you, not trying to pick up on anyone or try to be something you aren't, eventually you meet some one that likes you for you, and those are always the best ways to start a relationship. Until that happens, don't play the game. Take your mind off of women and watch your general demeanor get more positive and light hearted. Agree with this. Not to negate personal circumstances but I have found this to be true. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Once you learn that being alone doesn't mean you have to be lonely, and that the single status is not some fatal disease, life gets way less stupid. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 (edited) Every relationship I've ever had magically fell into my lap. I'm just lucky. Perhaps Gaeta and I need to start singing... Grab your brolly gal! Yep all we need is a cheesy heart shaped bed and men will fall out of the ceiling wearing 70's underpants... Edited June 19, 2015 by Toodaloo Link to post Share on other sites
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