Do modern women reject men too often?

[guest569]

This is true. It's more common to get angry when you're actively trying and failing at something than when you're not actively trying. I'd like to climb a mountain someday, but I haven't made any attempts so far. I'm not angry at mountains.

 

Do you have any articles about women actively trying to lose their virginity and failing? I've searched a bit, but haven't found any. That would be an interesting perspective.

 

We are told that virginity is some amazing and pure thing that we should hold on to and that our first time should be special and with someone we love. That puts a massive hurdle in, doesn't it. Not to mention the stories about pain and bleeding, STD and pregnancies.

 

So by my mid-late 20s when I'd finally found that, the guy had no idea how to have sex, it seems. That caused me a lot of issues, i blamed myself and thought i would be a virgin forever, it sux. In the end i got it over with, with a friend in my late 20s. It was totally fine and pretty great actually.

[elaine567]

So by my mid-late 20s when I'd finally found that, the guy had no idea how to have sex, it seems. That caused me a lot of issues, i blamed myself and thought i would be a virgin forever, it sux. In the end i got it over with, with a friend in my late 20s. It was totally fine and pretty great actually.

 

So you were with this guy who didn't know how to have sex with you till your mid-late twenties? Did you know you were not actually having sex?

[Phoe]

Who knows, maybe women are more quiet about being involuntary celibate, being a virgin, maybe not,

 

While I wasn't a virgin through my early 20's I definitely had little experience, and when involuntarily celibate through that time, I definitely was quiet about it. No one would've known.

 

If it weren't for LS, nobody would know anything my dating or sex life. I keep quiet about it IRL. It's only on LS that I open up about it.

[guest569]

So you were with this guy who didn't know how to have sex with you till your mid-late twenties? Did you know you were not actually having sex?

 

That was my first boyfriend, met him at 25. He wasn't very experienced and had some problems i think, although I was pretty upset and thought it was my fault.. Cause i later found someone who had no issues having sex with me. I felt so relieved, after spending my teens and most of my 20s thinking i was a total idiot and an incomplete human being. Men who think this doesn't affect women are simply wrong. It's also hard to go out and pursue sex when you will be labelled as "easy" or a "slut" or worse, get into a bad situation.

 

I absolutely knew! We did everything but intercourse. There's a thread if you're interested. I still am a bit confused about the whole thing.

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

Is it wrong that I envy women for how they are valued for their youth more than men are?

[Phoe]

Is it wrong that I envy women for how they are valued for their youth more than men are?

 

IMO the idea of youth being valued is overrated. My youth never did anything for me, neither negatively nor positively. My age has always been a fairly neutral and unimportant detail about myself.

 

Not to mention, I always thought mature women were more valued!

 

More respected, wise, experienced... I always hear talk about MILF's and Cougars. That talk of finely aged wines and all that.

[elaine567]

Is it wrong that I envy women for how they are valued for their youth more than men are?

 

Are you not now 27?

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

Are you not now 27?

 

Yes I am, but I feel its easier for women to enjoy their teens and 20's, because women's mating market value is at its highest in their teens and 20's

[guest569]

Yes I am, but I feel its easier for women to enjoy their teens and 20's, because women's mating market value is at its highest in their teens and 20's

 

I certainly hope not.

[Phoe]

Totally honest, I had never heard that women have an expiry date, that the older they get the less valuable they are, until I had joined this forum.

 

Instead I'd always heard how younger women aren't as good, they're immature, less experienced, naive, childish, dramatic, etc.

 

But older women? Mature, experienced, finely aged.

 

That's what I was always led to believe. And heck, one of the most coveted women at my workplace is a GILF. I watched a man cheat on his pregnant wife for a chance with that GILF... nobody thinks she's lost her value!

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

Well its been argued and debated for years now that men are evolutionary attracted to young youthful women because they are the most fertile

[Shining One]

It's also hard to go out and pursue sex when you will be labelled as "easy" or a "slut" or worse, get into a bad situation.

I wonder at what stage women stop caring about this or if some women never stop. I haven't had many women actively pursue sex with me, and none of them were virgins.

[Krieger]

How is this thread still going is beyond me.

 

Men and woman need to stop crying and go do what they need to do to be the best man or woman than can be.

 

I been through crap and more crap and still keep on moving .

 

 

• born with Clinodactyly abnormally bent or curved finger I was 10.2 pounds when i was born so I was packed in tight ( my mom was only 120 pounds)
  

 

• leading me to have to go to physic therapy in elementary school because I had hand eye contention issues and grip problems at the school and getting made fun of because I had to spend time with the special need kids .
  

 

• A short time b4 that I was physically attacked by an adult female and I was in the 2nd or 3rd grade . She hit me and got dragged home by this female she was in her 30s or 40s .
  

 

• Moved around a few times so had to make new friends and it was not easy.
  

 

• Got held back a grade and had to take special classes and did learn a dam thing .
  

 

• never really fit in even though I tried to do so.
  

 

 

 

• uncle committed suicide
  

 

• all my friends moved away so I had to star all over and it has not easy to find Friends in high school.
  

 

• Made friends in high school finally but sadly they die in a car accident it sucked to finally find people that did not judge you and to have them ripped away like that.
  

 

• The crazy part I was going to hang out with them that night I might not be here if I did.
  

 

• Has social anxiety issues but pushed myself to over come them by getting out of my comfort zone by taking classes that requested tasking in front of people . Also talk to ant one that made eye contact with me.
  

 

• Never went to prom no girl would go with me and when I did ask I got taught at.
  

 

• Made more friends but they turned out to be cancers so stop hanging out.
  

 

• went a dates a ton of them but noting really worked out.
  

 

• finished college got a job and bounced around but in 2006 than job market took a dump got laid off .
  

 

• I did get to work on a mclaren f1 hard to sit in with an erection. LOL
  

 

• Got back into retail :o:o:o:o:o:o:o:(:mad::mad:
  

 

• A good friend and roommate overdosed on liquid methadone he got from a friend and died 3 time on the way to the hospital and Dr. said we might be brain dead . Was in a coma for 3 weeks and walked out of the hospital with major issues . He told me the Dr when he say him walk out of the hospital the Dr looked like he seen a ghost he could not believe it .
  

 

• That kind of inspired me to become a nurse seeing what the did in the Psychiatric Intensive Care Unit .
  

 

• Had to let go of more friends they did not want to grow up and I wanted to.
  

 

 

 

• still never had a real Gf just a FWB and a one night stand .
  

 

• Got back into college and making it happen .
  

 

 

We all of things to over come and if you want it more than you want to breathe you become successful .

[Leigh 87]

I think it is better not to make generalisations and look at the individuals concerned.

Not all attractive people are players, some of course are, you are correct there, but not all.

I do think the assumption that unattractive = nice, has landed many in a pickle with men/women who are unattractive and not particularly nice with it either.

 

I'm attractive and have a heart of gold.

 

Some of the players who pretended to be into me it get sex were way below my league.

 

The men who were honest and decent to me and we're upfront with their intentions were the hottest men I've had.

 

The men who were below me in the looks department are the ones who felt they had to lie to me and pretend to really like me.

 

Furthermore, the hot men I've had thought I was the most attractive ; it seems more average men or below average men view me as a plain Jane.

 

There's no correlation there to be had when it comes to the level of attractiveness of a man and the measure of his character and personal integrity........

[mortensorchid]

Well if you are talking about just the initial screening of the person (looking at their online profile photo I mean), all are looking at your looks first. That decides whether you are going to go any further with it. I think that's the case for men and well as women. Shallow? Of course it is. But since when are people NOT shallow when it comes to looks? And if you are taking about OLD, isn't that what others are thinking when they look at you?

[Diana Bol]

Last time I checked, not even women knew what they liked. You'll be hit with the "smart, funny, handsome, and nice" responses but see those same women with bad boys that are the complete opposite.

 

Women want to be entertained by men. That is our ultimate purpose in their eyes. It just so happens that men are waking up now.

[umirano]

I don't remember when I was turned down the last time. A girl not replying on old? Delete, next. I turned down two girls in the past year though. And I look elsewhere if I feel that it's not going anywhere. Maybe you fellow men with lots of rejection need to be more perceptive of the vibes you're getting?

 

And please, the only ones putting women on a pedestal are you! Of course women get rejected. All the fncking time. And of course they suffer from the rejection. Just as much as any guy.

 

Also consider this: you can get rejected right away. Being rejected after a couple of months is also a rejection and hurts a lot more. A man mistreating a woman in a relationship is essentially rejecting her.

 

Decide what kind of a woman you want. Be as specific as you can and then relentlessly weed out. If you don't know where you want to go there's no way you'll ever get there.

 

There's nothing unethical about being selective, regardless of gender. It just improves match quality. If anything people should be more selective. I'm tired of all the bitching in both genders on how unfair the dating world is. We all make our own bed. The ridiculous need for companionship in certain people is doing them a great disservice. I was single from 18 to 22 by choice because there was no.one around that I liked enough. It's really not the worst thing in the world if you're not seeing anyone for a while.

 

If I went to ask out every pair of tits in that time it'd certainly been a very frustrating experience. The trick is not to be needy. There's no better sabotage to dating success than having written "I REALLY NEED A GIRL RIGHT NOW!! " on your forehead.

[JuneJulySeptember]

I don't remember when I was turned down the last time. A girl not replying on old? Delete, next. I turned down two girls in the past year though. And I look elsewhere if I feel that it's not going anywhere. Maybe you fellow men with lots of rejection need to be more perceptive of the vibes you're getting?

 

And please, the only ones putting women on a pedestal are you! Of course women get rejected. All the fncking time. And of course they suffer from the rejection. Just as much as any guy.

 

Also consider this: you can get rejected right away. Being rejected after a couple of months is also a rejection and hurts a lot more. A man mistreating a woman in a relationship is essentially rejecting her.

 

Decide what kind of a woman you want. Be as specific as you can and then relentlessly weed out. If you don't know where you want to go there's no way you'll ever get there.

 

There's nothing unethical about being selective, regardless of gender. It just improves match quality. If anything people should be more selective. I'm tired of all the bitching in both genders on how unfair the dating world is. We all make our own bed. The ridiculous need for companionship in certain people is doing them a great disservice. I was single from 18 to 22 by choice because there was no.one around that I liked enough. It's really not the worst thing in the world if you're not seeing anyone for a while.

 

If I went to ask out every pair of tits in that time it'd certainly been a very frustrating experience. The trick is not to be needy. There's no better sabotage to dating success than having written "I REALLY NEED A GIRL RIGHT NOW!! " on your forehead.

 

I agree with you that people should be selective.

 

However, the things that people are selective about is what bothers me, or not really bothers me anymore, but frustrates me.

 

I know that if I come across 35 women, maybe one or two of them will click with me well enough to start a relationship, probably. This is especially so because I'm no spring chicken and I really want compatibility.

 

I mean, if 35 women turn me down in OLD because of my height, race, looks and income, then how will I ever find the 1 in 35 that is match with me personality wise? And how will they for that matter? That means I have to go through around ~1200 women to find a match.

 

Lately, the last couple of dates I've been on have been mutual rejection more or less. And that's really the way it SHOULD be. But it's almost never that way because looks and social status rule the dating world.

Edited June 22, 2015 by JuneJulySeptember

[umirano]

Well as soon as you start to be selective you drastically narrow the dating pool. I don't think I'm compatible with 1in 35, more like one in 50 or 75.

 

But honestly I prefer to be single with family and friends over being in a relationship with a girl that isn't hot (to me), smart and happy.

[autumnnight]

There are things that some men are selective about that bug me. But in the final analysis, it is their life, their preference, and they really aren't obligated to change for me.

 

Do i wish more hot middle aged men had a deep desire for a woman with an ample backside? Heck yeah, that would be an advantage for me Do I sometimes feel bummed that a lot of the men just above my age would rather pursue someone in my daughter's age range? Well, sometimes.

 

But their preferences are theirs. I mean, I am tall, and so I'm not looking for a man who is 5'3". I shouldn't have to apologize for that. Preferences are what they are, and yeah, both men and women's shift from time to time. I mean, if the woman with the ample booty is also a great cook, funny, sweet, has a nice rack, and great in bed....the hot middle aged man may suddenly find a bigger backside isn't such a problem after all. And if a guy who is 5'6" is witty and confident and doesn't mind me wearing heels, I would suspect I wouldn't care all that much that I was taller.

 

Life is life.

[JuneJulySeptember]

There are things that some men are selective about that bug me. But in the final analysis, it is their life, their preference, and they really aren't obligated to change for me.

 

Do i wish more hot middle aged men had a deep desire for a woman with an ample backside? Heck yeah, that would be an advantage for me Do I sometimes feel bummed that a lot of the men just above my age would rather pursue someone in my daughter's age range? Well, sometimes.

 

But their preferences are theirs. I mean, I am tall, and so I'm not looking for a man who is 5'3". I shouldn't have to apologize for that. Preferences are what they are, and yeah, both men and women's shift from time to time. I mean, if the woman with the ample booty is also a great cook, funny, sweet, has a nice rack, and great in bed....the hot middle aged man may suddenly find a bigger backside isn't such a problem after all. And if a guy who is 5'6" is witty and confident and doesn't mind me wearing heels, I would suspect I wouldn't care all that much that I was taller.

 

Life is life.

 

It's not about apologizing. In reality, nobody really cares about your love life, or mine. Maybe our moms do.

 

It's about giving yourself the best chance to meet someone who makes you happy. You have to weigh the give and take between inches and somebody who meshes with you.

 

If you are 5'8" and a 5'3" man makes you really uncomfortable, then yea, don't do it. But I see 5'3" women requiring 5'8" or 5'10" men and in my estimation, that really, REALLY takes down their chances of finding someone compatible. Their choice.

 

And I mean, excluding entire races expect for your own? That literally cuts out hundreds of thousands of people who you might click with in one fell swoop. Again, their choice.

 

I mean, hey, it's find with me at this point. Just sayin, ya know.

[autumnnight]

That's pretty much what every guy is looking for right there!

 

Then why the heck did I have no plans this weekend????

 

LOL just kidding. I read a novel.

 

I can understand JuneJuly's thoughts too. Sometimes when we dismiss someone based on an arbitrary list without even talking to them, we miss out.

 

BTW, I am taller than 5'8". In college, aguy who starches all his shirts who was 5'8" who was a bit chunky who had a particuarly overt redneck accent was not someone I would have picked out and said, "yeah baby!" But I took a class with someone like that, and both of us were having some trouble with different aspects of the course. We studied together a few times, and he was funny and sweet. I chaperoned a high school trip, and he happened to be there as a leader. We hung out more, and I liked him even better.

 

Even though "on paper" he wasn't what I always pictured, by the time we actually went on a real date, I already felt some attraction. And when he kissed my good night....oh my heavenly WORD could he kiss! We dated 2 years, and he was awesome. In fact, I felt like a queen with him, and it was a great relationship.

 

So yes, sometimes we need to be willing to think "outside the list" because good things can happen.

[Krieger]

I feel bad for some guy on this site I was once like you but I took action and still got some work to do but I am a fighter .

[Krieger]

Some guys just need some swag like Ric Flair .