Do modern women reject men too often?

[LookAtThisPOst]

Right. In the old days of the 40s and 50s...women had no real qualms with physical appearances.

 

I recall reading stories of how soldiers met the future wives by pointing at one he likes and saying to his buddies, "See that girl. ...I'm marrying her!"

 

50 years and umpteen grandkids and great grandkids...the rest is history

 

 

 

I was thinking about online dating and stuff like that recently,

 

just random thoughts.

 

With so many options with meeting people online, Women seem to be having their cake and eating it too...according to a lot of disgruntled male posters.

 

Is there truth to this? With all the options have women gone into a "hyper selection" mode? Meaning there is no room for even one mistake?

 

Have people in general stopped giving second chances, preferring to just go onto the next?

 

Ladies: Have you ever rejected a guy prematurely and then deeply regreted it later?

Edited June 18, 2015 by LookAtThisPOst

[LookAtThisPOst]

I think it's clear the U.S. is an empire in decline, and just like with the fall of all the empires before it, culture and society are getting sicker by the day, losing touch with the most fundamental values of honesty, sincerity, humility. I see that many people have a grim, nihilistic, sadistic view of love, romance, and sex. I feel sorry for them, but I know their only hope is to recognize the demolition course they're on before it's too late.

 

Very spot on Ruby Slippers! ! My dad left this world with your same thoughts.

[BlackOpsZombieGirl]

I agree.

Many women are now well educated, women now expect certain standards of behaviour from men and men often fail those standards, you are right.

Gaeta for example, does not expect a man to go on about G spots and her clit on their first date. He is not 16, I presume, so what on earth was he thinking? Women want to be with adults, not overgrown schoolboys.

Women want equal partners, they want emotional connection, they want to be around interesting men, they want to be taken seriously and they do not want to be left carrying the whole relationship all by themselves.

Women are now often self sufficient, so the NEED for men is no longer to the fore.

Without that basic NEED, they can afford to be picky and they can afford to turf out those that do not come up to scratch too.

 

+1 Elaine! This is an awesome post and I couldn't have said this better myself.

 

I like to date guys who are able to have intellectually stimulating conversations with me in a respectful and interesting manner without me having to deal with the 'overgrown schoolboy' antics and mentality that SO many of these guys seem to possess. Some guys really (and truly) need to brush up (or do a complete overhaul!) on their etiquette, manners and the respect that they should give to EVERY woman they date. Good looks and a hot bod only goes so far...

 

 

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[fireflywy]

+1 Elaine! This is an awesome post and I couldn't have said this better myself.

 

I like to date guys who are able to have intellectually stimulating conversations with me in a respectful and interesting manner without me having to deal with the 'overgrown schoolboy' antics and mentality that SO many of these guys seem to possess. Some guys really (and truly) need to brush up (or do a complete overhaul!) on their etiquette, manners and the respect that they should give to EVERY woman they date. Good looks and a hot bod only goes so far...

 

 

.

 

There's a young man on the Dating forum whom I just told this too. He could probably use more feminine insight.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Western society has grown more sophisticated, along with women's tastes and expectations.

 

A lot of disgruntled men seem to behave like they deserve a gold star for putting their shirt on the right way and showing up.

 

Women expect more from men these days and a lot of them simply fail to past muster.

 

They don't want to change, or improve or grow. A lot of them behave like women *owe* them relationships.

 

In nature, it's common practice for the males of a species to compete for mates. It's not all that different in human terms.

 

We are not to be compared to the animals. We are much better than that.

[MissBee]

I was thinking about online dating and stuff like that recently, just random thoughts.

 

With so many options with meeting people online, Women seem to be having their cake and eating it too...according to a lot of disgruntled male posters.

 

Is there truth to this? With all the options have women gone into a "hyper selection" mode? Meaning there is no room for even one mistake?

 

Have people in general stopped giving second chances, preferring to just go onto the next?

 

Ladies: Have you ever rejected a guy prematurely and then deeply regreted it later?

 

My grandmother told me about all the men she rejected in her day. Nothing is new under the sun. They didn't have online dating but she had suitors and all were not eligible. I don't believe women are rejecting more suitable men now than before. I believe women are still rejecting men they wouldn't have wanted regardless and now with OLD you have more men you'd never want anyway who have access to messaging you.

 

Men I've rejected on or offline are men I'm not interested in and I've never regretted rejecting anyone. I have more regrets of giving chances if anything.

[BlackOpsZombieGirl]

Could you send this to my ex?

 

I passed muster quite well but the emotional, interesting, and carrying were her failures.

 

Yeah, even women are guilty of doing this. At least you recognized what her personality weaknesses were so that you're able to spot them again should you ever run into another woman who exhibits those same personality traits. Even if you could send Elaine's post to your ex, she probably wouldn't accept that those traits were her failures.

 

 

 

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[Ninjainpajamas]

Women have more options, regardless of the situation, but with OLD they really can feel like the next Miss *insert country*.

 

However, I find that men who often complain emasculate themselves too much...and at the end of the day it's not even worth talking about, and definitely not worth obsessing over it.

 

These women are not going to change their expectations or standards and it would be a much better idea to invest time and energy in how to become more attractive and desirable to women, then just complain about the unbalanced situation. It's clear the odds are in their favor, they are the choosers, they are the gate-keepers to their vagina and/or their hearts...that's the way it is and as much as it's probably more difficult for men than it has been in the past to get a woman/partner, it's also one of the best times to be a man...because if you can be successful and figure it out, you have access to a lot of attractive women with desirable qualities and can really engage them anytime and anywhere.

 

Unfortunately way too many guys get hung up on the politics, at at the end of the day you're just going to be sitting there with your d!!ck in your hand. You're not going to get women to admit certain things, they're not going to agree with certain things you want them to, even if they're true, because even if it is true they don't care, it doesn't affect or concern them, they have no reason to feel empathy for you.

 

That's the reality of the situation, that even if it's hard...you don't complain, at least to women, and IMO not even to yourself, once you start filling your head with that negativity and pessimistic view, you're going to be holding yourself back even from opportunities that come your way...furthermore, it's not very "manly" to complain about the odds or not getting women.

 

I think one major difference from guys who are successful with women...and maybe even more successful in other aspects as well is, they don't make excuses...they don't whine or complain about the odds. They keep trying, some times they are successful and sometimes they get rejected. I've seen the ladies men get rejected, but they just hop back on the horse and either change scenes or try another woman...they don't sit there and dwell on the failure or rejection because they know eventually they're going to succeed.

 

This is the whole mental difference between successful and unsuccessful men...successful men have confidence but it's built off taking chances and having courage. Unsuccessful guys just want to complain or have it fall on your lap, or if they try in a very sincere and genuine way, they get upset for being rejected.

 

But unsuccessful guys are often try-hards, you extend yourself way too much and take way too personal an equation of being rejected that ANY guy can face. Even the good looking guys need skills to get women these days, they still need desirable and attractive qualities, whether it be their conversational skills, the way they carry themselves aka confidence, the way they can be witty or humorous.

 

You can't be successful with women and obsess over the rejection...rejections blows @ss, for EVERYONE! but it can't stop you from taking risks, every guy that's successful has to pull up his pants and walk or send a message over to a woman he's interested in, there's ALWAYS a chance at failure.

 

Do modern women reject men too often? yes, because they have the edge in options, they can afford to be picky and sometimes just rather be picky than alone...but then again, they're actually looking for relationships and certain qualities, where guys are looking for a piece of @ss and/or maybe a relationship. If you were truly looking for the perfect woman, and you had the same options, you'd probably be much pickier yourself...and that's the golden ticket, become a man with options and you won't have to settle for crumbs.

 

But that's the trick, can you become one or not? that's up to you, I don't know but I've seen even the best looking guys not have the kinds of options you think he does, so it's definitely not just about looks...you can do pretty damn well in this world with women if you figure out certain things, but guys don't listen and learn, they'd more often just rather B1tch and complain, and that's definitely not getting you laid or a girlfriend.

 

So IMO, this is really a pointless question for a man...it makes no difference if it hard now or gets harder or not, you still have to rise to those expectations one way or another and it's more achievable to at least increase some degree of success if not greatly so, more than you realize.

[carhill]

Do modern women reject men too often?

 

Since the vast majority of people are either in LTR's or married, I'd say nope.

[Gaeta]

Did you not read the recent thread of hers where she hooked up with a guy that hit on her right after the first date? From what I have seen from many of the FA single ladies these days is, they will allow pretty much anything if the guy is good looking enough.

 

Not at all. Hook-up guy was a gentleman during our first date. If he had started talking g spot and clitoris it would have turned me off. Guy from this afternoon was pretty good looking also but there are things that just turn me off no matter how drop dead gorgeous you are, and sex talk is one.

[fireflywy]

Yeah, even women are guilty of doing this. At least you recognized what her personality weaknesses were so that you're able to spot them again should you ever run into another woman who exhibits those same personality traits. Even if you could send Elaine's post to your ex, she probably wouldn't accept that those traits were her failures.

 

 

 

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Probably true except she would admit, partially, that she didn't carry much of the relationship. I just wished he had valued those things more.

 

Alas....

NOW here's a molotov cocktail for this discussion....

 

The views expressed in this video are NOT the views of the poster.

 

[smackie9]

I'm so glad I'm married......

[Keenly]

Western society has grown more sophisticated, along with women's tastes and expectations.

 

A lot of disgruntled men seem to behave like they deserve a gold star for putting their shirt on the right way and showing up.

 

Women expect more from men these days and a lot of them simply fail to past muster.

 

They don't want to change, or improve or grow. A lot of them behave like women *owe* them relationships.

 

In nature, it's common practice for the males of a species to compete for mates. It's not all that different in human terms.

 

 

This post is so sexist...

 

 

Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to put your shirt on the right way?

[BlackOpsZombieGirl]

This actually reminds me of what a former FWB of mine once told me. She said she didn't like it when a guy straight up asked her about sex, but instead preferred my method, where I would just invite her over to my place for pizza and a movie. She said she knew that meant sex, but in her head that was OK, because I didn't actually mention the sex.

 

 

Since your post is referring to Gaeta's recent post:

 

...Guy from this afternoon was pretty good looking also but there are things that just turn me off no matter how drop dead gorgeous you are, and sex talk is one.

 

...and I believe that she really feels this way, I'll bite. Your post above might be the mentality and attitude of a promiscuous or a FWB kind of woman, but for me personally, if a guy who I've only known and dated for a few weeks invited me over to his place for 'pizza and a movie', I would definitely NOT accept that invitation; because I have enough self-respect and intelligence to know that he only wants to invite me over to his place to have sex, and um, I don't roll that way. When I'm comfortable with him and have known him long enough for me to determine that he's a decent, kind and respectful guy, THEN (and only then) will sexual intimacy happen between us.

 

Enigma...sometimes, when a woman says she would NOT have sex with a guy and does NOT like hearing 'sex talk' from him, no matter how good looking he is and no matter WHAT he says or HOW he says it, she means it. j/s

 

 

 

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[mongo]

its very true especially in OLD. i actually tried an experiment awhile back.

 

i setup a fake okcupid account with a hot blonde girl pic...mailbox full within a day. COMPLETELY FULL. like 200 messages. then i setup a fake accout with a girl whos not very attractive. mailbox full within 3 days.

my real okcupid account with my real pic and profile(im a dude, maybe an 8), i get like 5 messages a year.

 

if that tells you anything...

 

for the record no i did not reply to any messages or catfish anybody. i wanted to see what would happen. to tell the truth some of the messages were hilarious. stuff like "hey baby how you doin" and "i would reeeeeally like to get to know you please message me!!" and "yo baby gimme yo numba" "are you from tennessee? cuz yur the only ten i see".

there are a lot of lonely desparate men out there.

 

dont believe me try it yourself lol.

 

it must be nice tho getting all that attention and having your pick of who you want to date. seems like they are trying to have their cake and eat it too. most of the women who post are dating dbags and players they are trying to fix. instead of giving any chances to decent men who would treat them well.

Edited June 18, 2015 by mongo

[Keenly]

I can't be the only guy on the planet who's only hidden agenda is cuddling when inviting a girl over for a movie.

 

I think people just assume it means sex. No, not to me. Sex means sex. Pizza and a movie means a movie and a playful argument about why pepperoni pizza with extra sauce is the best pizza that there ever was. Because it is.

[GoodOnPaper]

Western society has grown more sophisticated, along with women's tastes and expectations.

 

Women's tastes and expectations are certainly changing but I would argue that it's becoming less sophisticated -- and this was starting to happen way back in my dating days, late '80s/early '90s, before OLD.

 

More and more of a man's value centers around short-term attraction qualities, even if a woman is looking for an LTR. Back in my day, the term "relationship guy" and "good-on-paper" were synonymous -- a decent guy who might not have been particularly exciting or good looking but was a good bet for being reliable in an LTR. If LS is any guide for how it is now, a man can't even be considered a "relationship guy" unless he oozes enough sex appeal to attract casual sex partners whenever he wants.

[Gaeta]

I can't be the only guy on the planet who's only hidden agenda is cuddling when inviting a girl over for a movie.

 

I think people just assume it means sex. No, not to me. Sex means sex. Pizza and a movie means a movie and a playful argument about why pepperoni pizza with extra sauce is the best pizza that there ever was. Because it is.

 

hand up.

 

I casually dated this man for like 4 months, he's known here as nurse. He regularly came to my place for lunches, dinners, tv, boardgames, and it took like 3 months before we had sex.

[HereNorThere]

Since the vast majority of people are either in LTR's or married, I'd say nope.

 

 

Are we just making up statistics now? There's absolutely no evidence that this statement is true. In fact, single people outnumber coupled people in a lot of places throughout the U.S. and Europe.

 

For the first time, there are more single American adults than married ones, and here?s where they live - The Washington Post

 

The US Is Becoming More European: Half Of Adult Americans Are Now Single

 

Singles now outnumber married people in America ? and that's a good thing | Public Radio International

 

Single? So are the majority of U.S. adults

[Gaeta]

In my city, the census for 2014 is 50% of the adult population is single.

[mongo]

In my city, the census for 2014 is 50% of the adult population is single.

 

thats canada it doesnt count. everybodys freakishly polite in canada.

[carhill]

Are we just making up statistics now? There's absolutely no evidence that this statement is true. In fact, single people outnumber coupled people in a lot of places throughout the U.S. and Europe.

 

For the first time, there are more single American adults than married ones, and here?s where they live - The Washington Post

 

The US Is Becoming More European: Half Of Adult Americans Are Now Single

 

Singles now outnumber married people in America ? and that's a good thing | Public Radio International

 

Single? So are the majority of U.S. adults

Heh, they're called opinions. You disagree. That's OK.

 

I know hundreds of people and less than ten fingers worth are single. Those are all the statistics I need to know. Those women didn't reject men, they selected men and are with men. Over and done.

[xxoo]

Are we just making up statistics now? There's absolutely no evidence that this statement is true. In fact, single people outnumber coupled people in a lot of places throughout the U.S. and Europe.

 

For the first time, there are more single American adults than married ones, and here?s where they live - The Washington Post

 

The US Is Becoming More European: Half Of Adult Americans Are Now Single

 

Singles now outnumber married people in America ? and that's a good thing | Public Radio International

 

Single? So are the majority of U.S. adults

 

People in relationships, but not married, may be counted as "single" in those stats.

[Popsicle]

So date a dead corpse. That's what I do when I'm fed up with modern men and miss the old days. It's very romantic.

[carhill]

People in relationships, but not married, may be counted as "single" in those stats.

Good point. Counting all contacts over the last five years, I know and can verify that two women I know have been single during that time. All the rest have been with partners at least part of that time and, again, the vast majority, practically every woman I know in my social circle and meet daily, is married. Wedding rings are everywhere. If women were rejecting men and staying perennially single, I'd see it and wouldn't have had such an impossible time dating around here over the last 40 years, most specifically the last 30 years. Is it that way everywhere? Nope! Big world, billions of people. When I traveled to Russia and Ukraine, I was swimming in single women. Good times and few rejections. Come home, bupkus. Met exactly one and married her.