Do modern women reject men too often?

[Toodaloo]

The guy sounds like a train wreck. You can do better than that I hope

 

That guy is symptomatic of many men out there...

 

You are not the only one who struggles with this and there are problems for both sexes!

[dangerbang]

Well you are getting better odds than I am from the messages I send out...

 

I talk to lots of men in day to day life. At the moment the only takers have wives already... not my cup of tea!!!

 

If you are fragile DO NOT DO IT. It will only damage you!

 

Also that girl you went on the date with... TALK to her. Good old fashioned talking. Say you have seen something you thought she would like, say you are thinking of her and you would like to see her again. But keep talking to her.

 

When I say rejection I am talking about someone saying in whatever form "I do not want to go out with you". It could be they have a wife, they don't fancy me... It could be anything. I do not count messages that have not been responded to.

 

You actually send messages out? I didn't think women did that. I wouldn't send many very often but I was surprised with the responses although I think my pictures make me look more handsome than I actually am

 

How many people are you asking out on a weekly basis ffs?!?

 

No man, I can't talk to her, she was the one who said "I'll be in touch", me messaging her now would just scream desperation. If she doesn't want to get in touch that's fine, she would if she really wanted to, that's how it goes.

[elaine567]

Really? lol

 

He's been un-employed since January.

 

He is not officially divorced yet

 

His ex is present to every visit he does with his daughter and the kid is 17. Ex still hopes he will get back to her.

 

His credit is down the drain since separation.

 

He told me all that on our first meeting.

 

Aw... he's lonely and has lots of problems, you could help him out, he needs a friend. And he knows where your G spot is too.

What's not to like?

You heartless woman, you...

[Elam]

I was thinking about online dating and stuff like that recently, just random thoughts.

 

With so many options with meeting people online, Women seem to be having their cake and eating it too...according to a lot of disgruntled male posters.

 

Is there truth to this? With all the options have women gone into a "hyper selection" mode? Meaning there is no room for even one mistake?

 

Have people in general stopped giving second chances, preferring to just go onto the next?

 

Ladies: Have you ever rejected a guy prematurely and then deeply regreted it later?

 

That's men's fault, not women's. Facebook, cellphones, reddit, instragam, real life. Women don't need to walk 2 steps to find male attention, and many of the women who receive this hurricane of attention aren't even attractive. Average women also hook-up quite often with attractive women because women who aren't as good-looking as you are a lot easier to bed when you just want a quick-release, so women grow into their 30s thinking they have what it takes to be in a relationship with a high-quality man.

 

Not really. I eat Mexican food when I'm hungry and when there's no restaurant around, but when I have the money for it I'm always going for high-level cuisine.

 

What do you mean having their cake and eating it too? What do disgruntled random men have to do with cake eating women anyway, I'd just NEXT 'em.

 

He means to say that women bask in attention from average males/have casual sex with attractive men. And that after having their fun they settle with men they aren't attracted to. Yes, you aren't like that, nor do you know any woman who is like this(I've also never met Hitler. Hitler never existed: confirmed!) but many women are like this, and men feel a little disgruntled at being used for attention, for $, or for being settled for.

 

What was the poll that one of the mags did with women where something like a 1000 polled women saw 75% of modern American men as undesireable?

 

The vast majority of American women are overweight/obese. The only reason the average woman gets laid or relationships at all is because most men are thirsty and would rather sleep with undesirable women than putting in the work to get attractive women(German women, Swedish women, Spanish women, Greek, women etc). Not going to say that those Countries don't have ugly/obese/overweight women, but most of the women from these Countries, in their 20s, are pretty hot.

Edited June 18, 2015 by Elam

[Gary S]

Yes, there are good girls and spoiled bad girls, it's been this way long before the internet.

 

Some of the prettiest women are spoiled brats - they get hit on and spoiled by too many guys chasing them.

[Elam]

Yes, there are good girls and spoiled bad girls, it's been this way long before the internet.

 

Some of the prettiest women are spoiled brats - they get hit on and spoiled by too many guys chasing them.

 

Not really. Some of the most polite and cheerful women I've met were women who were very attractive. The women who are cute or slightly above average(not overweight) tend to be stuck-up, but that's because most guys think they have a shot with them, increasing these girls egos hugely.

[Elam]

Explain with more details. I'm very curious on this one....

 

Most men have sexual desires. Most men desire women. Men's sexual desire for women will push them to pursue women. Women don't want to be pursued by most men. Women aren't attracted to most men. Most women have their own taste in men, but tall dark and handsome is something that most women share with each other on what they look for in men.

 

Which means that most men are going to be rejected when they approach women, or when they try to build something sexual or romantic with the women they know.

 

Men display. Women select. Men should work as hard as it takes to be part of that group of men who can pick any desirable woman without spending money, time or effort on them. Become famous. Become muscular. Do whatever it takes to become physically attractive.

 

Oh, and if you are young and average-looking I advice every man to stay away from college. At least from social sciences colleges. Sexual frustration is the daily diet of the average man.

 

So many women, so many of them are very attractive(not that average and below average women aren't picky ahaha) and spending all your time with them around you when you can't sleep with them? Not good for the self-esteem of the average man.

 

I agree with some posters said before. Men compete with each other for the sexual attention of women. That is only natural. As long as the women being competed for are in their 20s. Older women, most of them lost their looks, have a lot of baggage and have an agenda: get married and have children.

 

Why pay for what other guys had when she was hot, young, and std-free/baggage free/agenda free? That's how most men should think instead of letting their thirst for women control them.

 

Did you not read the recent thread of hers where she hooked up with a guy that hit on her right after the first date? From what I have seen from many of the FA single ladies these days is, they will allow pretty much anything if the guy is good looking enough.

 

haha, yes, but the difference between that guy she hooked-up with and the guy she rejected because ''he was talking about sex'' is that the first guy was hot, the other guy she was sizing-up for a relationship. Things turn out quite differently, depending on what a woman is looking for. I'm from a good family($) and the women I meet, they only have sex with me because I don't display any ambition. I don't have any goals, and I pretend to be as dumb as rocks in a pitch for casual sex. You understand. If women see me as nothing more than a good-looking piece of meat.. I'm not going to be put in the relationship box.

 

Meaning. I'm not going to be made to wait for sex because she wants me to see her as a potential girlfriend, not as a quick-lay.

 

Many if not most women will have a guy(or several) they have casual sex with while they look for a boyfriend. You'd die laughing if you'd see me try so hard not to laugh when my friends introduce me to girls they're dating for months but whom they haven't had sex with yet because the girls want to make sure the ''guy's feelings are real''.

 

 

Funny how they forget to tell my buds about the sex they had with me or with other friends of mine without any investment from us aha ha.

 

Since the vast majority of people are either in LTR's or married, I'd say nope.

 

Marriage is no sign of sexual success. I know of fat guys who are married. I know of short, bald guys who are married. I know of any type of guy who is married. I also know most of these guys are sexless and are paying up their nose for their wives because they spend most of the time we hang out together whinning about the lack of sex they have. Things are going to be even more hilarious when divorce hits them and they're stuck paying child-support and alimony.

 

Old men think they are attractive because there are women interested in marrying them. What they don't understand is that to older women, all a man needs to have is a job.

 

Try being in your 20s, without a job, and having attractive young women wanting to marry you. If you can manage that, you know you are a desirable man.

Edited June 18, 2015 by Elam

[fireflywy]

Untrue. If she liked-liked you she will be thrilled that you double text.

 

Men have to stop thinking that winning a woman is about having the right recipe. It's not ! You meet her, if you both feel it, than there isn't much you can do to turn her off.

 

I wonder though, could it be that some women drink from this same coolaid as the PUA guys?

 

I mean we hear from guys all the time you did this or that wrong, or attitude X isn't attractive, and yet conversely, women may be consumjng the same stuff.

 

My ex gf and her friends talked about Tucker Max and how they read his book "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell" and they all said, with me as the only guh at the table that "Yeah," to one of the ladies who hadn't read it "You should read it. It gives you great insight if you want to know exactly now guys are."

 

i was like WTF? They were in their early to mid 30's!

 

Even Tucker Max came out recently and admitted how messed up he was and emphasized the importance of emotional connection over sex and mone and that he was going through therapy.

 

Look at our heroes today compared to yesteryear. The hero of yesteryear was a Jimmy Stewart common man, soft spoken, honest, family man who did what he had to do be it a gun fight at High Noon, a one two fist fight, or going to D.C.

 

Our male heroes/archetypes now? Tony Stark wises asses (don't get me wrong I enjoy superhero movies) with lots of money, hypermuscularity, who roll in on a harley davidson, fight a dozen nin as on a train going 60 miles an hour, said train blows up while hero rescues woman who is twitterpated with his toughness, money, and whips and chains collection, and they both land safely, unhurt, and ride off together to have sex (like they did on a spur of the moment after some harrowing sequence) as the credits roll.

 

I'll be Jimmy Stewart over Kal Drogo any day.

 

 

......

Edited June 18, 2015 by fireflywy

[carhill]

Rejection is too harsh a word for deciding not to date someone after a couple of dates. Don't view it as rejection. They simply weren't the one(s).

Yep, agree. In fact, on the rare occasions I got first dates, long-term dating or relationships or my marriage resulted. It was getting past all the rejections to that first date. Again, specific to person, me, not that women were rejecting all kinds of men. They weren't. They came 'on the market' and went off just as quickly. If a particular lady was single for a month that was unusual.

 

It's pretty much still that way but I have noted some of the older ladies staying purposely single a bit longer now, so they're probably rejecting more guys. Don't know for sure though. Only know they don't talk about a boyfriend so presume they're single and either not dating at all or dating casually without focus on relationships or marriage.

[neowulf]

It's pretty easy to armchair quarterback and tell some one they need to change their attitude when all they have ever experienced is rejection, failure, and loss.

 

 

Success breeds confidence, and confidence breeds success. But if you never have the success it's difficult to create confidence, and you are stuck at the starting line.

 

 

people toss around the word confidence like it's in aisle 4 at Walmart. Not really that simple in a psychologically complex shift in attitude.

 

What else should we tell them?

 

"Yeah, you're right man. It's women. They're the ones to blame!"?

 

How's that helpful? Better that they accept some personal responsibility for the problem than waste energy projecting their failings onto the opposite sex and becoming bitter and resentful.

[Keenly]

What else should we tell them?

 

"Yeah, you're right man. It's women. They're the ones to blame!"?

 

How's that helpful? Better that they accept some personal responsibility for the problem than waste energy projecting their failings onto the opposite sex and becoming bitter and resentful.

 

 

We tell them to focus on something else, and the women will come around eventually. It's really that easy.

 

 

 

As far as your personal responsibility remark, I don't think we can say anyone is responsible for anything in regards to finding some one attractive.

 

Example: I dont find Rhianna attractive. Am I responsible for feeling that way? Not really, we like what we like and we can't just up and change what we are attracted to. Is she responsible for me not finding her attractive? Not really, she just does what she does.

[Rejected Rosebud]

Success breeds confidence, and confidence breeds success. But if you never have the success it's difficult to create confidence, and you are stuck at the starting line.

I really do understand that but even so it is not because of women or women in general's responsibility to help unconfident guys.

people toss around the word confidence like it's in aisle 4 at Walmart. Not really that simple in a psychologically complex shift in attitude.

Of course it's not simple but if you guys wanted to you could focus on other guys or people who have overcome stuff and how they did it instead of how it's almost impossible and girls should do that for you.

[mongo]

What else should we tell them?

 

"Yeah, you're right man. It's women. They're the ones to blame!"?

 

How's that helpful? Better that they accept some personal responsibility for the problem than waste energy projecting their failings onto the opposite sex and becoming bitter and resentful.

 

i guess ill be the one to criticize the conversation between those two groups.

 

lets play devils advocate for a minute. what if you did say "hey man those women you have dealt with are bitches dont worry bout it, its not your fault." that can boost confidence because the man doesnt blame himself, the blame is shifted onto a cruel female who ignored him or something.

 

but if i pass the blame onto women for something im lacking in such as confidence then it is my fault. thats where personal responsibility comes in.

 

i guess i keep running into cruel narcissistic women who further exacerbate my frustration and anger. you deal with enough women like that and your outlook on females will stick that way. in my experience women have been nothing but cruel, dismissive, snobby, cold, petty, letting their emotions control them. thats their problem not mine.

and it doesnt help that frustrated men keep venting their troubles online and getting replies from people with ice water running thru their veins calling them names and telling them its their fault.

[Keenly]

I really do understand that but even so it is not because of women or women in general's responsibility to help unconfident guys.

Of course it's not simple but if you guys wanted to you could focus on other guys or people who have overcome stuff and how they did it instead of how it's almost impossible and girls should do that for you.

 

 

I must not be conveying my point in the most coherent manner, because that is not the direction I was heading at all.

[neowulf]

We tell them to focus on something else, and the women will come around eventually. It's really that easy.

 

As far as your personal responsibility remark, I don't think we can say anyone is responsible for anything in regards to finding some one attractive.

 

Example: I dont find Rhianna attractive. Am I responsible for feeling that way? Not really, we like what we like and we can't just up and change what we are attracted to. Is she responsible for me not finding her attractive? Not really, she just does what she does.

 

The problem with telling people "don't focus on it" is that it's much like telling people "Oh, you'll meet the one eventually! Just keep doing what you're doing and don't change anything!"

 

There's nothing magical about finding a life partner. It's about doing the work. Going on dates, talking to women. Socialising. Easy? No. Always fun? Nope. But that's what's required.

 

Personal responsibility towards owning their part of the problem.

 

Are they overweight? Crappy dead end job? Do they live at home with their parents (out of convenience)? Do they dress poorly? Have poor personal hygiene? Are they overly negative or aggressive? Do they have interests or passions that place them in touch with the opposite sex?

 

You can't sit around going "woe as me" while having a raft of areas you could be working to improve.

 

Feeling better about yourself = confidence. Confidence = sexy.

That's got nothing what so ever to do with women rejecting them "unfairly".

[neowulf]

and it doesnt help that frustrated men keep venting their troubles online and getting replies from people with ice water running thru their veins calling them names and telling them its their fault.

 

Fobbing off responsibility, refusing to own your part in your situation just turns you into a victim.

 

I'll give an example. The second I detect a woman who's "cruel, dismissive, snobby, cold, or petty", I reject *her*.

 

Because no matter how "hot" they might be, it's not a substitute for being a decent human being.

 

A lot of guys seem to run around thinking with their dicks. Giving a pretty woman this HUGE amount of leeway to treat them like garbage. If they're horrible people, who *cares* if they don't like you. They've done you a favor.

 

It's not about calling people names or trying to make these men feel bad for struggling with the opposite sex.

 

It's about getting the stupid notion out of their skulls that it's "all women's fault". That single line of thinking is HUGELY destructive when attempting to build a relationship. Women are not the enemy. They're human beings. People. Perhaps if those men spent more time thinking of them that way and less time just trying to F*uk them, they'd have a better time of it.

[Gaeta]

i guess i keep running into cruel narcissistic women who further exacerbate my frustration and anger. you deal with enough women like that and your outlook on females will stick that way. in my experience women have been nothing but cruel, dismissive, snobby, cold, petty, letting their emotions control them. thats their problem not mine.

and it doesnt help that frustrated men keep venting their troubles online and getting replies from people with ice water running thru their veins calling them names and telling them its their fault.

 

No one called you names.

 

Back to your story. To know that a woman is cruel, dismissive, snobby, cold and petty, you have to spend quite a bit of time with them. Why do you stay around women like this?

[mongo]

Fobbing off responsibility, refusing to own your part in your situation just turns you into a victim.

 

I'll give an example. The second I detect a woman who's "cruel, dismissive, snobby, cold, or petty", I reject *her*.

 

Because no matter how "hot" they might be, it's not a substitute for being a decent human being.

 

A lot of guys seem to run around thinking with their dicks. Giving a pretty woman this HUGE amount of leeway to treat them like garbage. If they're horrible people, who *cares* if they don't like you. They've done you a favor.

 

It's not about calling people names or trying to make these men feel bad for struggling with the opposite sex.

 

It's about getting the stupid notion out of their skulls that it's "all women's fault". That single line of thinking is HUGELY destructive when attempting to build a relationship. Women are not the enemy. They're human beings. People. Perhaps if those men spent more time thinking of them that way and less time just trying to F*uk them, they'd have a better time of it.

 

no offense but you seem white knight-ish. you say that women are human beings, yes they are and they have faults just like men. you make the assumption that men are only wanting to have sex and not establish a real relationship. pedestalizing women like they can do no wrong. and that is actually dehumanizing to women.

 

its not that women are all rotten people. its that most of them go about things in silly trifling ways. ive dated girls who had great qualities. we are having a great time.. couple of dates later shes bailed on me to go on a date with another dude. cuz well, shes not rotten, but her feelings changed. women are NOT men.

 

sry but people who make these arguments have never really had to deal with real amounts of rejection and are relatively inexperienced.

 

i can improve myself but that will only do so much. its not so much that i pass the buck and not hold myself responsible for improvement. but you cant put it all on me.

Edited June 18, 2015 by mongo

[JuneJulySeptember]

I feel like people are very definitive about who they reject.

 

If I were to reverse my life, and say a half a dozen women whom I actually KNEW and liked as people were interested in me and I had to reject them, it'd tear at me a lot and I'd struggle with it. Not just having to reject someone I like as a person, but to give up the possibility of enjoying the experience of dating them. Could be fun.

 

But it seems to me when other people reject, it's with finality and certainty. It's like me with say, drinking gasoline. I don't do it, and I don't have an urge to do it. So, when women reject me, I have to assume they think, "F@ck no, not you, not in this lifetime. WTF were you thinking anyway? :eek:"

 

Which is fine by me I guess. I just don't allow myself to fall for women before I get my answer anymore.

 

But yes, if I had to reject a woman that I knew, I'd think about it a lot. But I don't have hundreds of people who are interested in me. Sometimes, you have to put yourself in other people's shoes I guess.

[elaine567]

its not that women are all rotten people. its that most of them go about things in silly trifling ways.

 

Hmmm...

<<<<<<<>>>>>>>

[neowulf]

no offense but you seem white knight-ish. you say that women are human beings, yes they are and they have faults just like men. you make the assumption that men are only wanting to have sex and not establish a real relationship. pedestalizing women like they can do no wrong. and that is actually dehumanizing to women.

 

its not that women are all rotten people. its that most of them go about things in silly trifling ways. ive dated girls who had great qualities. we are having a great time.. couple of dates later shes bailed on me to go on a date with another dude. cuz well, shes not rotten, but her feelings changed. women are NOT men.

 

sry but people who make these arguments have never really had to deal with real amounts of rejection and are relatively inexperienced.

 

i can improve myself but that will only do so much.

 

Nope, you're projecting. I never said women were "Without fault". In fact, I said the opposite. I said I actively reject women who display negative traits.

 

I've never been single more than 6 months since the age of 16... had a 6 year relationship, along with a few 2 1/2 - 3 year ones.

 

I'm not inexperienced and yeah, I've had my share of rejection.

 

My point, to be clear is this;

 

"Women are people. Individuals. Some of them will be great human beings, others less so. While being rejected hurts, demonizing women as a result is nothing but counter productive.

 

Hating on women for rejecting you does nothing but make the process harder."

 

That's the point. By all means, get angry at that woman who cheats on you with your best friend, or dumps you on your birthday. But leave it at her door. Don't turn that into some general "rule" about the way all women are. Because that's simply not the case.

[mongo]

Nope, you're projecting. I never said women were "Without fault". In fact, I said the opposite. I said I actively reject women who display negative traits.

 

I've never been single more than 6 months since the age of 16... had a 6 year relationship, along with a few 2 1/2 - 3 year ones.

 

I'm not inexperienced and yeah, I've had my share of rejection.

 

My point, to be clear is this;

 

"Women are people. Individuals. Some of them will be great human beings, others less so. While being rejected hurts, demonizing women as a result is nothing but counter productive.

 

Hating on women for rejecting you does nothing but make the process harder."

 

That's the point. By all means, get angry at that woman who cheats on you with your best friend, or dumps you on your birthday. But leave it at her door. Don't turn that into some general "rule" about the way all women are. Because that's simply not the case.

 

all of that really amounts to is you saying "no youre just wrong". i dont think you understand the argument.

[loveweary11]

I went through a period of time when I couldn't get a date. I would become interested in a girl, eventually hit on her, and get rejected. Every time. This was for about a year or so. After each rejection, I started feeling worse and worse about it. There comes a time when you have to decide how you want to live your life. I could have decided to just blame women, but I actually wanted to fix my problems, not just complain about them. I did what I had to do, made some changes in my life, and my luck with the ladies improved.

 

Most of the guys I know who are constantly getting rejected by women have the ability to fix their issues, but they never do. Just like many other issues in life, it seems to be easier to blame others than to accept some responsibility and take control of your own life.

 

I've said this time and time again on here too.

 

People love to bitch about things, but what actions are they actually taking to make themselves more appealing to women?

 

Women, especially hot ones, put many, many hours a week into diet, exercise, make up, skin care and hair removal.

 

What, exactly, are these guys who complain so much doing to become more attractive to wonen?

 

I started out from a bad place as a scrawny, pimply, awkward, shy,broke kid.

 

I spent years honing my appearance, personality, finances, etc. I can get just about anyone I set my sights on now... no lie. anyone. In any age group. I may have to try hard, even getting a rejection once or twice at first, but I still can get them if I'm interested.

 

I was by no means born with that. I developed it through very hard work which I continue doing to this day.

 

So guys who complain.. what are you doing, specifically, to turn yourself into a man women want?

[katiegrl]

No one called you names.

 

Back to your story. To know that a woman is cruel, dismissive, snobby, cold and petty, you have to spend quite a bit of time with them. Why do you stay around women like this?

 

 

Exactly and the fact you DO stay around these cruel, dismissive, snobby cold and petty women ultimately says more about you than about them.

 

 

Next time you encounter one, LEAVE. You will feel better, your self esteem will increase.... you take your power back.

 

 

As it stands now...when you stay with these chicks and ALLOW them to treat you like garbage... you are handing over your power to them on a great big silver platter.

 

 

No wonder you feel so emasculated.... you need to OWN that. You are allowing this shyt to happen to you by remaining with these chicks and allowing them to treat you like crap. THAT is on you!

[neowulf]

all of that really amounts to is you saying "no youre just wrong". i dont think you understand the argument.

 

Just because I disagree with you, doesn't mean I fail to understand the argument.

 

If you think I'm failing to understand your position, perhaps you could better articulate the argument you're trying to make?

 

If you're trying to say "Yeah, no.. it really is that women are the ones with the problem. Being single has nothing to do with men or the way they approach dating", then yes, I'm disagreeing with you.