Ex-MM finally divorced

[Hope Shimmers]

I'm not quite sure why you're assuming he got divorced because of his past connection with you?

 

I'm not quite sure where you got the impression that I'm assuming that? Where in my post did I even remotely suggest that?

 

I am 100% sure I had exactly nothing to do with his divorce.

 

ETA: Since you haven't answered the several posters who have pointedly asked WHO initiated the divorce, I'm going to assume it was the wife. Yet just more proof of what a complete as*shole this loser is, and how he's trying to appear as though HE'S done something you wanted. What a joke.

 

The reason I haven't answered is because 1) I've been trying to figure out why it would possibly matter and 2) how on earth would I know?

 

I haven't been involved in his life for years. His marriage was a mess before I got involved (he was separated at the time I met him, which he initiated) and I'm sure it continues to be a mess after I exited. He initiated the divorce the first time (the one that never happened); I have no idea who did it this time.

 

What is ironic is that if I had suggested that he initiated it this time, people would have jumped all over me saying "how do you know? You're not in his marriage." Really just can't win with this crowd.

[Hope Shimmers]

How the hell would Hope know WHO initiated the divorce? We know it wasn't Hope. It isn't her concern who did it. Did you not read her posts to see that she isn't involved with him anymore? Your implication that Hope is hiding something or deliberately not answering the "who initiated the divorce" question is rude and quite frankly, snarky.

 

Why not focus on Hope...the person who posted this thread, instead of focusing on who initiated a divorce in a marriage that Hope wasn't a part of??

 

Hope, glad you are moving forward with your life. He's the past...and a part of a very painful past. He doesn't get to invade your life now. All he needs to do is continue paying back the money he owes you and stay the hell out of your life.

 

Thank you!!!

[Hope Shimmers]

Hope, are you worried at all about him trying to seek custody/visitation?

 

Our daughter died.

[Hope Shimmers]

Well to be fair, Hope did say early in thread that the MM began calling her several months ago and that sometimes she takes his calls (much to my bewilderment) so maybe she does know who initiated the divorce, although I have a feeling her MM will tell her he initiated the divorce because he wanted to be with her. I also have a feeling that would be bullcrap.

 

I don't take his calls anymore. I did a couple of times, but hung up when he said anything remotely personal.

[MissBee]

Hope, are you worried at all about him trying to seek custody/visitation?

 

Their daughter died as a baby and MM left her alone to deal with it, hence the majority of the outrage at his character and him sending her patronizing messages about "bumps in the road" and how strong she is and all that horse shyt. As if 1) it was solely her problem 2) As if he has nothing at all to do with this and it had ZERO effect on him (which it probably really had no effect on his conscience or life) and 3)As though your baby's death and you abandoning her mom who you claim to care about is considered a minor bump in the road....ewwww....what a loser!

 

Which is why I'm like, at this point it's not merely a case of whether or not this MM got a divorce or who divorced who or any of those other concerns other OW might need to consider, but that his general character is shyt and I don't think ANY woman should ever let a man back into her life who has abandoned her and his child at one of the MOST horrific times.

 

From what I can recall, at no time has he ever even apologized for that, no time has he ever expressed grief, sorrow, regret, pain at his baby's death...nada...yet he's concerned about getting back into Rose's life. He should eff off and go straight to hell. How can he even have the audacity? Is he that stupid and dense that he can't even fake like he cared about their baby...he really disgusts me. While other OW who just have to grapple with his avoidance about his marriage and such could potentially give him a chance, I don't think ANY man, MM or not, who lets you bury your child alone should ever even breathe near you again. There is no getting over that and like I said...he seems to think he can just forget that whole thing as a "bump in the road" and just show his divorce papers and slide back into Rose's life while she has had to live with that burden every single day and will continue to do so...how could anyone even look at someone like that? I'd want to kill him then throw up on him everyday of my life.

 

MM aren't automatically horrible people simply because of an affair, but this guy is certainly horrible affair or not.

Edited June 20, 2015 by MissBee

[jen1447]

^ I think you mean Hope, not Rose.

[MissBee]

^ I think you mean Hope, not Rose.

 

Haha, thanks for that. Since I was responding to Rose her name was in my mind as I was furiously typing away my viscerally disgusted response.

[Hope Shimmers]

On a lighter note Hope, did you find something sleek and Shimmering Red today?

You deserve it!!!

Just thinking, send the bill to exMM.

 

Yes, but I decided on black instead of red I'm picking it up now.

 

Thanks to all who have contributed to this thread and my other ones. I think I have a lot of work to continue to do on myself, and definitely have a need to move forward. I can't afford to make any more mistakes.

 

I wish everyone peace.

[lgspot]

Yes, but I decided on black instead of red I'm picking it up now.

 

Thanks to all who have contributed to this thread and my other ones. I think I have a lot of work to continue to do on myself, and definitely have a need to move forward. I can't afford to make any more mistakes.

 

I wish everyone peace.

 

 

Hope, you've come a long way.

Never look back.

You deserve so much better than he gave you...

 

Congratulations on the new ride.

In vehicles, black is the new red!!!

 

Perhaps try the following guide on your next speeding stop:

(note, may not work in Illinois).

 

 

 

A woman gets pulled over for speeding 102 MPH in a 45

 

zone. The cop asks for her drivers license and woman

 

says, "I'm sorry officer, but my license was suspended

 

after my 5th DUI."

 

The cop asks for her registration and the lady says,

 

"It's in the glove compartment, but it's not in my name

 

because I stole this car and I killed

 

the woman that owns the car and stuffed her in the

 

trunk and the gun I used is in the glove compartment.

 

At this point the cop tells the woman to keep her hands

 

in sight and he radios for back-up.

 

When a supervisor shows up, the cop tells him the story

 

and he walks up to the woman in the car. The supervisor

 

asks to see the lady's drivers license and she hands

 

it over and it is valid with the her real name and

 

information.

 

The supervisor asks for the registration and she

 

says, "It's in the Glove compartment." The supervisor

 

tells woman to keep her hands in sight and walks

 

around to the passenger side and opens the glove

 

compartment. There is the registration in the lady’s

 

name and everything seems in order.

 

Next the supervisor asks the woman to get out and open

 

the trunk. She opens the trunk and the only thing

 

there is a spare tire.

 

At this point the supervisor tells the lady what the

other cop had told him.

 

Woman says "I'll bet that

lying S.O.B. told you I was speeding too!"

 

 

"Have a nice day ma’am……….." said the supervisor as he helped her into her car.

 

 

:)Happy motoring Hope.

[Hope Shimmers]

lgspot - Ha! With my luck there would probably be some random dead body in my trunk and I would get life for 'confessing' to murder.

 

Thanks for the good wishes. I think I'm going to be a hopeless case with the car. I picked it up today (had to wait until today) and as I was driving home from the dealer I looked at the dash and realized I was going 25 miles per hour over the speed limit.

 

There are no romantic prospects in my life right now, which is okay. Except for possibly a good friend (who also knows ex-MM) but he's going through divorce #4 right now - all due to infidelity on the part of his wives. Marriage #1 and #3 were to the same person - he 'reconciled' with her after she begged, then she cheated again. So I don't know - that's a lot of infidelity baggage. But he knows about my situation with ex-MM so that's a plus. We will see, but he's not divorced yet, and I have learned my lesson on that one, even though he seems to REALLY be done with it and they live in different states.

[RoseVille]

Our daughter died.

 

I didn't realize. I'm so sorry.

[Hope Shimmers]

I didn't realize. I'm so sorry.

 

Thanks Rose. My story is kind of all over the place on here.

[Goodbye]

My exMM also reappeared single. He flew cross country and called me from the airport. Creepy as hell. He has NO F-ING CLUE how he hurt me and doesn't get how I can't just forgive. I had to skip my college reunion to avoid him.

 

Oh, and the same day exMM called from the airport, I saw my neighbor's husband making out with someone in a restaurant. WTF is wrong with men?

[lgspot]

My exMM also reappeared single. He flew cross country and called me from the airport. Creepy as hell. He has NO F-ING CLUE how he hurt me and doesn't get how I can't just forgive. I had to skip my college reunion to avoid him.

 

Oh, and the same day exMM called from the airport, I saw my neighbor's husband making out with someone in a restaurant. WTF is wrong with men?

Hmmmmm?

Was he making out with another man???

WTF is wrong with women?

Just saying..........

Takes two.

[OldRover]

lgspot - Ha! With my luck there would probably be some random dead body in my trunk and I would get life for 'confessing' to murder.

 

Thanks for the good wishes. I think I'm going to be a hopeless case with the car. I picked it up today (had to wait until today) and as I was driving home from the dealer I looked at the dash and realized I was going 25 miles per hour over the speed limit.

 

There are no romantic prospects in my life right now, which is okay. Except for possibly a good friend (who also knows ex-MM) but he's going through divorce #4 right now - all due to infidelity on the part of his wives. Marriage #1 and #3 were to the same person - he 'reconciled' with her after she begged, then she cheated again. So I don't know - that's a lot of infidelity baggage. But he knows about my situation with ex-MM so that's a plus. We will see, but he's not divorced yet, and I have learned my lesson on that one, even though he seems to REALLY be done with it and they live in different states.

 

Hope,

 

Wow, that friend sure sounds like a huge red flag, with 4 divorces. Wonder what the "other side of the story was"..... and how many relationships in-between that didn't go well. Could be a reason.

 

I dated a lady with those flags, and should have paid more attention... She had serious insecurity and trust issues that became unbearable. Caution could be a good thought..... Just sayin' .....

 

Overall, you've been through a lot, and probably just want to take your time, which is not a bad idea. The thought of totally getting rid of exMM in ALL aspects is probably wise.... Second MM sounds scary.

 

Enjoy the ride..... I guess you live in IL..... I've spend many year there..... school, work, etc. And, yes, easy to get a ticket <g>...... overall, I was glad when I left and would never go back, except to visit.

[Goodbye]

My exMM also reappeared single. He flew cross country and called me from the airport. Creepy as hell. He has NO F-ING CLUE how he hurt me and doesn't get how I can't just forgive. I had to skip my college reunion to avoid him.

 

Oh, and the same day exMM called from the airport, I saw my neighbor's husband making out with someone in a restaurant. WTF is wrong with men?

 

 

 

Uhm, ok. What is wrong with people? Feel better? And whether he was making out with a man or a woman matters not. The thing that matters is that he has a WIFE. That was the point.

[Goodbye]

Hmmmmm?

Was he making out with another man???

WTF is wrong with women?

Just saying..........

Takes two.

 

 

 

Uhm, ok. What is wrong with PEOPLE? Obviously you could have figured out what I was referring to given the nature of the thread. Frankly, don't care if he is making out with a man, woman or a dog...my POINT was that it wasn't his wife.

 

 

Just saying....

[Hope Shimmers]

Hope,

 

Wow, that friend sure sounds like a huge red flag, with 4 divorces. Wonder what the "other side of the story was"..... and how many relationships in-between that didn't go well. Could be a reason.

 

I dated a lady with those flags, and should have paid more attention... She had serious insecurity and trust issues that became unbearable. Caution could be a good thought..... Just sayin' .....

 

Overall, you've been through a lot, and probably just want to take your time, which is not a bad idea. The thought of totally getting rid of exMM in ALL aspects is probably wise.... Second MM sounds scary.

 

Enjoy the ride..... I guess you live in IL..... I've spend many year there..... school, work, etc. And, yes, easy to get a ticket <g>...... overall, I was glad when I left and would never go back, except to visit.

 

I love Chicago But it does get cold in the winter with those winds blowing off Lake Michigan.

 

Yes, the guy with 4 divorces is a red flag. We will see. It's not like I have a glowing past either, though. And you are right - time to focus on other things.

[whichwayisup]

lgspot - Ha! With my luck there would probably be some random dead body in my trunk and I would get life for 'confessing' to murder.

 

Thanks for the good wishes. I think I'm going to be a hopeless case with the car. I picked it up today (had to wait until today) and as I was driving home from the dealer I looked at the dash and realized I was going 25 miles per hour over the speed limit.

 

There are no romantic prospects in my life right now, which is okay. Except for possibly a good friend (who also knows ex-MM) but he's going through divorce #4 right now - all due to infidelity on the part of his wives. Marriage #1 and #3 were to the same person - he 'reconciled' with her after she begged, then she cheated again. So I don't know - that's a lot of infidelity baggage. But he knows about my situation with ex-MM so that's a plus. We will see, but he's not divorced yet, and I have learned my lesson on that one, even though he seems to REALLY be done with it and they live in different states.

 

He's your friend (first), so keep it that way for at least a year. I don't want you hurt anytime soon.

[William]

Folks, it appears Robert had pulled this thread due to some prohibited discussion of personal situations and I noted it in the queue this morning and deleted most of what I perceived as the threadjack. Since our mandate is to retain conforming postings, I've republished the thread in read-only form. For those of you who were moderated, suspended or banned, suffice to say that conduct, specifically bringing real-world personal interactions onto our forum, or substantially departing from the topic, or 'putting the pieces together' from past postings can be a surefire way to be tossed out of our sandbox permanently. Don't do it. Or, do it and be excluded from LoveShack.org.