Bobbi7 Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Like if someone wanted to be your friend and you weren't interested what were the reasons??? Did it have to do with social status, the way they dressed, the people they associated with, money, boring, too laid-back, didn't benefit you? Just curious. Link to post Share on other sites
Superman2024 Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 I'll decline a friendship when a girl I'm interested in dating says she only wants to be friends. Once I'm attracted to someone I can't see them as only a friend and I'm sure it's this way for most guys. Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Last ones I rejected were those offered by people at my old college. Not sure if friendship is the right term though, more like "very shallow companionship for recesses". I sensed that on the first day I was there so kept people at bay a little. Later WhatsApp gossiping which also led me to leave the school and rather go to a private one confirmed my suspicions. Besides that, they were a few levels lower regarding intellect. Link to post Share on other sites
HansonGirl Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Like if someone wanted to be your friend and you weren't interested what were the reasons??? Did it have to do with social status, the way they dressed, the people they associated with, money, boring, too laid-back, didn't benefit you? Just curious. hasn't everybody declined a friendship in their life at some point? i recall one friend i declined because the girl was just weird. She was actually quite anti-social, even though she wanted to be my friend. I am quite shy and I didn't think it would be a good idea for me to be hanging out with someone who regularly expressed how much she didn't like people would hated socializing. That's because my goal was to socialize more and meet more people. I didn't think she would be a positive influence in my life. We also had nothing in common. she'd chat me up on gchat, and she'd talk about topics I had utterly no interest in. such as obscure metal bands from Germany. She also did not care what she looked like, and would sometimes share WAY TMI. I frankly wouldn't have minded being acquainted with her as a more distant friend, but she would constantly want to chat with me every single time i logged into gchat. I had no interest in becoming that close of a friend. And finally, the way she acted I almost thought she was a lesbian with a crush on me. I have had a couple friends who were lesbians and it is not that I have a problem with. It's the fact that I got this impression like she was into me or something. My other friends weren't into me. I feel like kind of a jerk for the reasons, but I am just being honest. Link to post Share on other sites
jsp32020 Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 (edited) I remember my first year at college there was another kid in my algebra class that always seemed to single me out to look at during those moments of extreme boredom or anything that may get a reaction out of the class. After class he would seek me out to talk to. I just thought it was weird for other dudes to "court" other dudes into friendship. I would be friendly but I really wanted to duck him. A few years later we actually ran into each other at my old job and we would chit chat about stuff at the smoking area. We're not best buds or nothing now but he seems to be a good guy and we are Facebook friends. (There was a red headed girl with a nice shape in that same class that did make similar cues but I was still too shy with girls... oh if I go back in time lol) Not a total rejection perhaps but reminds of the point that maybe it's just me, but as a guy, it's strange when other guys make and obvious point to "court" another guy into friendship. If I'm out in public and bond with a random dude, I would be weirded out if the guy was like "hey, let's swap numbers," unless it dealt with some sort of business. I may walk away like, "yo, that guy seemed pretty stand up" but that's it. Is that a guy thing? Do I have deep seated homophobia? When I had my first tastes of freedom as a green to the world young buck I was hit on by gay men a few times that maybe mistook my shyness and greenness as a cue to approach me. Nowadays I may get invitations from clients from work to hang out or swap numbers but I try not to get on that level with them. Women friends don't work imho. Any woman I've ever only sough friendship from wanted more and the phone talks and what not would just fade away, and like the other person stated, I'm not interested in friendship if there's a woman I'm interested in and friendship is all she is seeking. Edited June 18, 2015 by jsp32020 Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 I dontdo the friend zone. I'm not going to meet someone's emotional needs while they're getting their "physical" needs somewhere else. Not that all women do this, some do it to let the guy down easy. Same applies if genders are reversed ?. Link to post Share on other sites
lino Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 I have always declined politely the 'we can be friends' friendship offered by women dumping me. Also have ended friendships with guys who I found out were involved in criminal activities. Most were drug related and most of that happened when I was a lot younger. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 I've declined friendships when I felt the person was desperate and clingy right from the get-go. I've declined friendship from people I didn't trust that I felt would use whatever they could to climb over me. I've declined friendship with someone I just have nothing in common with. If all they want to do is have someone around to basically babysit with them at home, that's a no. (whether they have children or just want someone around to yammer to but don't want to do anything). I did "break up" with a girl who quit her meds and then didn't want to do anything except pick up her grandkids and then have me keep her company until their mother got off work. Not interested (and it was 20 miles away in rush hour traffic -- not practical). Link to post Share on other sites
newmoon Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 i do decline (or end) friendships because our values don't align. i had one friend - we went out a few times and did things, but she was quite slutty (sleeping with men on the first date all the time), and she loved to spend hours on the phone. i just didn't have values that aligned with her, although she was nice. i also just completely declined friendship with an extremely overweight girl - she was so quiet and mousy and filthy in her habits (a co-worker, so i saw this at work), and i felt she wanted to befriend me so i could "help" her in some way, and she said as much, telling me she admired me and wanted to be me. it freaked me out, and i don't need a project as a friend. Link to post Share on other sites
I_Squared_R Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 i do decline (or end) friendships because our values don't align. i had one friend - we went out a few times and did things, but she was quite slutty (sleeping with men on the first date all the time), and she loved to spend hours on the phone. i just didn't have values that aligned with her, although she was nice. i also just completely declined friendship with an extremely overweight girl - she was so quiet and mousy and filthy in her habits (a co-worker, so i saw this at work), and i felt she wanted to befriend me so i could "help" her in some way, and she said as much, telling me she admired me and wanted to be me. it freaked me out, and i don't need a project as a friend. People have role models all the time. Why did it freak you out? Elon Musk is my role model. Is that freaky? Link to post Share on other sites
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