chancey Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 (edited) hey guys and gals, any advice or just some support would highly appreciated! I broke up with my girlfriend (we lived together for 2 years) a year ago. It seems it really was 80% my mistake. I didn't know also how to act after breakup, so I pushed her away further into the arms of another dude. (who she had been hanging out and developed chemistry though already in our relationship period.) I continued to act really beta and then when I thought, "**** this, I'm over it", and got my act together for a period. Dated other girls or whatnot, she pulled me back again and again. That happened 4 times in the course of 4-5 months. So that didn't let me heal. But she continued to casually date that other dude on the side and finally as I continued to act beta, I guess decided to go for the other dude. They moved away from the country now, don't even know when they'll be back. But since she "sort of" came back to me 4-5 times after breakup, then it has sort of left me thinking it could happen again. But that doesn't let me move on. Although the seemingly "moving on" was always, that pulled her back to me (for a very brief moment). I really loved this girl, and she loved me too. I think I still love her, or the idea of the early her. It was a puppy-love at least 1,5 years before things started to go sideways. I stopped courting her as I was too busy and complacent. And she didn't know how to communicate her needs either. I haven't really seen this girl for months now, but still every month or so she still sends me a random text or whatnot. Still keeps contact. And still is super nice with me. Calls me cute names, only she used to call etc. I've blocked her on some social media and deleted her number, but not on Facebook as I thought it would be good to see if she will attend the event where I'm thinking of going. I was really close to her family too and they still love me and ask about me sometimes. They were totally confused and sad, surprised about us breaking up. Now, I've done things to get over her. My main problem is also that I'm broke. I dug myself into a big and intense project, lasting 6 months. While it was a success in other areas, then financially it pretty much failed. Now, I'm left with no savings and while I thought to concentrate on me during this summer, then I'm out of money and no good job either on near sight. I've been getting into really good shape, I am tanned and good looking. People have noticed. Been hanging out with friends, getting into new hobbies, going to parties. Would love to change scenery and go travelling but cannot as I don't have funds right now. She is still constantly in my mind. Every bloody day almost. And every time I got blown off by some other girl, she and the hurt will come back more. Its a downright spiral. And I do get blown off still, as I'm still not completely over the hurt, so I **** up often when communicating with new girls. Even though I look quite a lot younger, than I'm over 30 already. I feel I'm wasting my precious time when I'm still young. It's been bloody year and I'm still hung up. I've also developed quite terrible eating disorder cause of all this ****. And I also have quite a bad chronic other health problem which means I'm almost in constant physical pain. My girlfriend supported me (I supported her with her health problem too) but now I feel I am completely alone with it. It's been way too long and I cannot tell anyone that I'm still hung up. People don't understand. I try to look happy and outgoing. But in reality I'm still broken inside. What can I do more? Edited June 19, 2015 by chancey Link to post Share on other sites
15Love Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 I understand your pain. I really really do. And I understand not having anyone to talk to about it. Trust me it could be much worse then being hung up for a year. Please don't waste anymore of your life on this situation. The likelihood it will magically improve is slim to none. What can you do? I think you need to put in the hard work of NC. Have you tried that yet? But the good news is you have an amazing shot, if you do the work, of finding someone perfect with none of this drama in your history. What a gift that would be! Best of luck getting through this, you're not alone. Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyLady13 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Chancey, I have a question: Were you in any long term relationships before this one? Link to post Share on other sites
Author chancey Posted June 19, 2015 Author Share Posted June 19, 2015 (edited) yes, I've had a few long time relationships before this one. so, it's not that this is the first person I've ever had longer relationship with. but this one just felt completely right to me. or so it did.. I am in pretty much in NC now, as she moved away from the country and we're not talking in any form any more. Edited June 19, 2015 by chancey Link to post Share on other sites
sparklin Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 I totally understand. It's a struggle. Link to post Share on other sites
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