Women don't bring enough to the table?

[Gloria25]

Most women do not have that laundry list of qualities.

 

That so called 'list' was created by some people who have trouble with dating and think it's easier to blame the high standards of the opposite sex rather than accepting the other person simply isn't interested.

And I say people ebcause both men and women do it. Women will blame the list of physical 'assets' rather than the 'list of qualities' but in the end, both groups tend to have trouble with dating and it's not hard to see why.

 

Thing is, that you can't discount "lists"...people gotta have some standards.

 

IMO, yea, some people who have difficulty dating is "cuz" they actually have some standards. They aren't coupling up cuz they are lonely, desperate, willing to settle..and, that's what I see a lot in the dating world now a days.

 

People just coupling up and have no idea what to expect from a man/woman and their parents haven't/won't impart any wisdom on them either.

 

Back in the day, parents had more of a role in their children choosing a mate. Shoot, maybe that's why those RLs lasted longer. People actually had standards and/or expectations from their mate.

 

Now a days, it's just "anything goes" and sorry, I'm not shacking up with some dude and/or spitting on the white dress of a wedding and the ceremony just because I want it "my" way like Burger King.

 

So yes, it is a sore spot for me cuz I see a lot of women that IMO, are lazy, fat, sloppy, don't know how to care for a man and/or family getting picked up like hotcakes. And, when dude meets a woman who can actually cook and/or treat him right, he's scared and/or considers it smothering.

 

But more power to them...lots of divorces, kids out of wedlock and/or kids coming out with "mental illnesses" from all the chaos of people coupling up w/o any standards...

 

'Mejor sola que mal acompanada' - I rather be alone than to have bad company.

 

Again, listening to my fav podcaster, this young lady called in asking where to meet decent guys cuz a guy her friends introduced her to is lazy and smokes weed. My fav podcaster (like me) thanked God she isn't out there in the dating world cuz thanks to women lowering their standards - men are lazy pigs.

 

See, the emphasis HAS to be put on women here - the sisterhood....Guys are only gonna do what we let them get away with and WE women hold the key to making our kids, husbands, and home a happy one.

 

If women have no standards, if they bring nothing to the table - then guys act like pigs and women won't be happy.

[Maleficent]

Thing is, that you can't discount "lists"...people gotta have some standards.

 

 

Of course! And I'm not discounting standards.

 

My point is that a lot of people seem to believe the opposite sex has this crazy long list of unattainable 'requirements'.

 

People who think that usually have trouble getting in relationships and it's not because the opposite sex has ridiculous standards. It's because their attitude sucks.

[Maleficent]

'Mejor sola que mal acompanada' - I rather be alone than to have bad company.

 

I agree here too.

 

I met someone last week and it turns out he isn't interested.

It doesn't affect my quality as a partner and it doesn't make him the bag guy in the story.

 

I wish more people took it like that rather than just blame the other party.

[Gloria25]

I agree here too.

 

I met someone last week and it turns out he isn't interested.

It doesn't affect my quality as a partner and it doesn't make him the bag guy in the story.

 

I wish more people took it like that rather than just blame the other party.

 

I "half" like...

 

Cuz yes, we can't blame an entire gender and maybe that's not what the OP intended to say, but gosh darn, a lot of garbage out there. Dating just sucks. It's no longer fun and the guys out there that seem to have nothing to bring to the table are in the majority. I feel the same way about women - it's not all of them, but a good majority of them have nothing to offer.

 

What's frustrating is like this world is topsy curvy - where I thought chicks with nothing to offer become the undateable old maids with a bunch of cats...But nooooo, guys are lowering their bar and just picking up whatever, I think in part cuz they are "whatever" too and I don't want to stop being "me". I enjoy working out, cooking, being independent, sexy, etc; and, it's hard for me to be horny about a guy who doesn't see himself worthy of anything better.

 

So, its bizzzaro world out there when it comes to dating - just like how it is in our schools, society, etc. If you dare stand out and are an achiever, you don't get picked for the team cuz how dare you work hard on yourself and have something to offer.

[Got it]

I "half" like...

 

Cuz yes, we can't blame an entire gender and maybe that's not what the OP intended to say, but gosh darn, a lot of garbage out there. Dating just sucks. It's no longer fun and the guys out there that seem to have nothing to bring to the table are in the majority. I feel the same way about women - it's not all of them, but a good majority of them have nothing to offer.

 

What's frustrating is like this world is topsy curvy - where I thought chicks with nothing to offer become the undateable old maids with a bunch of cats...But nooooo, guys are lowering their bar and just picking up whatever, I think in part cuz they are "whatever" too and I don't want to stop being "me". I enjoy working out, cooking, being independent, sexy, etc; and, it's hard for me to be horny about a guy who doesn't see himself worthy of anything better.

 

So, its bizzzaro world out there when it comes to dating - just like how it is in our schools, society, etc. If you dare stand out and are an achiever, you don't get picked for the team cuz how dare you work hard on yourself and have something to offer.

 

I think for both genders, a positive disposition and sunny personality, and a good sense of humor outweighs many other things.

 

Most of the people who seem to struggle dating, and complain that they are alone, are glass half full, downers, who view the world with a very jaded eye.

 

Shocking that people don't want to cozy up to that.

[Keenly]

If cleaning up after, cooking for, and having sex with you, ain't enough, go get a mailorder bride with a sick parent to support.

 

I'll trade cooking for me with pulling me out of my comfort zone and cleaning up after me with being extra affectionate and you've got a deal.

 

 

Will she be arriving by plane?

[autumnnight]

Maybe one of the reasons I haven't had as much trouble has nothing to do with what I look like or what I do. Cause I'[ll be honest, though I am quite happy with myself, I know I am not "traditionally beautiful." I'm taller than average, I have a booty no matter how much I weigh, and right now the size label on my jeans would disqualify me from dating most of the prolific male dating posters on this site - cause it is double digits. I still get zits right before "that time of the month," I nursed 2 kids so things aren't as perky as they used to be. My chin is small and my nose is not. When I wave my arms around I can see the beginning of my mother's triceps. I don't have dimples. Well, I do have some on the backs of my thighs. My voice is too low, my forehead is too high. My feet are bony. I sometimes talk too much and too loudly. I am schozophrenically ladylike AND overly flirtatcious. I manage to stay ahead of the dust and laundry, but my house is not spotless. And I only cooked twice this week so far.

 

BUT...

 

I have a glass half full perspective on life. I believe that most people are trying their best and have good hearts, and that includes men. I believe that most things in my life really are going to be okay, and yes, like Meg Ryan said, I'm basically a happy person.

 

I think it is those things, rather than some svelte Victoria's Secret thing or gourmet training, that help me to make connections.

[StanMusial]

Would it help to say "Women these days..." ?

[Gloria25]

Nb

I think for both genders, a positive disposition and sunny personality, and a good sense of humor outweighs many other things.

 

Most of the people who seem to struggle dating, and complain that they are alone, are glass half full, downers, who view the world with a very jaded eye.

 

Shocking that people don't want to cozy up to that.

 

I'm "practical"...

 

Smiles, a sense of humor, and a "sunny disposition" isn't gonna pay the bills, hide a potbelly and/or go on a walk with me and my doggies.

 

Also, I "cozy up" to someone I adore, admire, and respect. If you smoke weed, don't treat me right, are lazy, have a belly/gut, have no life and/or don't have your own things and/or a career, job, education - Lady J gets dry.

 

Again, I'm not gonna point out the relationships of people on here who state they are "happy", cuz based on what they posted here, they settled and/or are putting up with stuff I do not care to.

 

So, please, to say that people who are "practical" are missing out on dating is absurd, IMO,

 

If all you need in a mate is a penis, pulse, and a smile - then more power to you. Some of us have actual "standards".

 

Like my fav podcaster says: "Choose wisely, treat kindly". This woman, Gloria25, has a whole lotta love and tenderness, but I'm not giving it out to Joe Shmoe or just anybody...

Edited June 19, 2015 by Gloria25

[Got it]

Nb

 

I'm "practical"...

 

Smiles, a sense of humor, and a "sunny disposition" isn't gonna pay the bills, hide a potbelly and/or go on a walk with me and my doggies.

 

Also, I "cozy up" to someone I adore, admire, and respect. If you smoke weed, don't treat me right, are lazy, have a belly/gut, have no life and/or don't have your own things and/or a career, job, education - Lady J gets dry.

 

Again, I'm not gonna point out the relationships of people on here who state they are "happy", cuz based on what they posted here, they settled and/or are putting up with stuff I do not care to.

 

So, please, to say that people who are "practical" are missing out on dating is absurd, IMO,

 

If all you need in a mate is a penis, pulse, and a smile - then more power to you. Some of us have actual "standards".

 

Like my fav podcaster says: "Choose wisely, treat kindly". This woman, Gloria25, has a whole lotta love and tenderness, but I'm not giving it out to Joe Shmoe or just anybody...

 

Yeah . . . I think the sunny disposition will help walk the dogs. They tend to be, you know, cheery about things.

 

I love how you think people have settled. I will say, my experience, a person who is down about the world will suck the joy out of every other "standard" one can have. A negative person does not have enough other attributes to make up for it. That is my deal breaker and tend to be what I see with those that are unsuccessfully single. And they tend to be the most critical of others.

 

I guess glass houses and all.

[autumnnight]

Nb

 

I'm "practical"...

 

Smiles, a sense of humor, and a "sunny disposition" isn't gonna pay the bills, hide a potbelly and/or go on a walk with me and my doggies.

 

Also, I "cozy up" to someone I adore, admire, and respect. If you smoke weed, don't treat me right, are lazy, have a belly/gut, have no life and/or don't have your own things and/or a career, job, education - Lady J gets dry.

 

Again, I'm not gonna point out the relationships of people on here who state they are "happy", cuz based on what they posted here, they settled and/or are putting up with stuff I do not care to.

 

So, please, to say that people who are "practical" are missing out on dating is absurd, IMO,

 

If all you need in a mate is a penis, pulse, and a smile - then more power to you. Some of us have actual "standards".

 

Like my fav podcaster says: "Choose wisely, treat kindly". This woman, Gloria25, has a whole lotta love and tenderness, but I'm not giving it out to Joe Shmoe or just anybody...

 

I don't think praticality would hurt anyone in the dating world. Practicality is very important.

 

Tactless, crass, arrogant rudeness, however, might be a turnoff.

[WasOtherWoman]

Maybe the only truly happy relationships are ones in which each person feels that their partner "brings to the table" qualities somewhat equal to the ones they they bring, themselves? Those qualities will vary by background, income level, education level, etc of the parties involved.

 

A few weeks back I mentioned to my husband that he did "x" which kinda bugged me. He came back with the "oops, didn't know... blah blah". I pointed out that wouldn't work with me, that I hold him to a higher standard than that. We laughed.

 

Point? Intelligence is something we both bring to the table. Maybe only when people feel balanced in this way can there be true happiness? Or, at least, peace?

[WasOtherWoman]

Additionally, to be happy, maybe both parties don't necessarily need to bring the same qualities to the table, just feel that they bring equal amounts?

 

For example, I may require that my husband bring solid financials to the table, he may require that I be able to swing from the ceiling fan whilst wearing my supergirl costume in the bedroom. Two very different things but, still equally brought to the table.

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

Having a vagina means receiving, so I guess that means women are meant to be the more spoiled gender

[autumnnight]

Having a vagina means receiving, so I guess that means women are meant to be the more spoiled gender

 

And this sums up what 99% of the people who post on these threads think of women. They want our vaginas above all else and resent us for having them.

 

I just can't imagine why women are not beating down their doors to get in on that....

[StanMusial]

And this sums up what 99% of the people who post on these threads think of women. They want our vaginas above all else and resent us for having them.

 

I just can't imagine why women are not beating down their doors to get in on that....

That's not my understanding of it. The whole point is what do women bring to the table beyond the obvious which is inherent body parts.

[Popsicle]

I think for both genders, a positive disposition and sunny personality, and a good sense of humor outweighs many other things.

 

Most of the people who seem to struggle dating, and complain that they are alone, are glass half full, downers, who view the world with a very jaded eye.

 

Shocking that people don't want to cozy up to that.

 

Well said.

[Maleficent]

That's not my understanding of it. The whole point is what do women bring to the table beyond the obvious which is inherent body parts.

 

Autumn's response was perfect considering the post it was answering to.

 

Having a vagina means receiving, so I guess that means women are meant to be the more spoiled gender

[Auspecial]

And this sums up what 99% of the people who post on these threads think of women. They want our vaginas above all else and resent us for having them.

 

I just can't imagine why women are not beating down their doors to get in on that....

 

Yeah, this is why this place often really is a bummer and I have to take breaks from it. So much negativity from men.

[Tread Carefully]

I'll trade cooking for me with pulling me out of my comfort zone and cleaning up after me with being extra affectionate and you've got a deal.

 

 

Will she be arriving by plane?

 

Sounds like a good deal to me! Meet you at LAX on Wednesday!

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

And this sums up what 99% of the people who post on these threads think of women. They want our vaginas above all else and resent us for having them.

 

I just can't imagine why women are not beating down their doors to get in on that....

 

Even if a man wants more than just a vagina in a woman, I do honestly feel women have higher standards

[Shining One]

Autumn's response was perfect considering the post it was answering to.

Except it's not. Total up the posts of this nature in this thread and do the math. It doesn't add up to 99%.

 

Additionally, to be happy, maybe both parties don't necessarily need to bring the same qualities to the table, just feel that they bring equal amounts?

I think this is the best approach. Man brings X to the relation and the woman brings Y. They mutually agree that X = Y.

 

In the context of this thread, some people ask for X and only offer Y with X > Y.

[Phoe]

I'll be brutally honest with myself and say that I don't think I bring much to the table.

 

I don't really have much to offer other than being a nice person.

 

It's been on my mind a lot over the past few months, feeling like I don't have enough to offer.

 

I'm always trying to improve myself but there's only so much that can be done at any one time.

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

For men, being a nice person is not enough, for women it is enough, I don't know why its far more important for a man to have a fun, interesting, exciting life than the other way around, I don't care if it is the way it is, there's an explanation for everything, there's even an explanation as to why the sky is blue.

[Shining One]

I'll be brutally honest with myself and say that I don't think I bring much to the table.

 

I don't really have much to offer other than being a nice person.

 

It's been on my mind a lot over the past few months, feeling like I don't have enough to offer.

 

I'm always trying to improve myself but there's only so much that can be done at any one time.

You probably bring more things to the table than you realize. Furthermore, you don't demand a lot. It's about balancing what you bring with what you expect from the other person.