Popsicle Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 My husband and I have been together for 3 years. Married 1.5 months. Lately, I feel like everything he does just aggravates me. Examples; He really doesn't help me around the house with chores. I have told him I need help 20 times and he'll do one or 2 things then think that will suffice for eternity. If I ask him to pick up his socks off the living room floor and put them in the hamper, he'll say ok. Then he won't do it and days will have passed and I'll ask him again and he'll say yes. Again, won't do it immediately and obviously forgets. Regardless of the fact that there's a dang pile of socks in plain view on the floor that he has to see. I think that's the main thing that really makes me mad. I feel taken for granted. Like he can leave his socks on the floor and leave his dirty dishes scattered throughout the house and not pick them up when I ask because he knows that eventually I will get tired of seeing it there and I'll just do it myself. One more thing is when he tries to tell me what I like or have done. I can't stand that. We were out with my friend the other day and he said the only beer I like is Angry Orchard. I can't stand that stuff. But we sat there and argued about it for 5 minutes. (I know that seems trivial, but he's said stuff like that so many times and this time was kind of like the straw that broke the camel's back. Normally I correct him and then just drop it once I see he's going to sit there and argue with me about it for eternity.) I am pretty sure I know my likes and dislikes and what I have and have not done, better than him. The thing that's making me mad today is.. We have plans to eat dinner with both our families Sunday evening for Father's Day. Everyone has already known about this all week. His friend just asked us if we want to go see a movie Sunday. He of course said yes. I reminded him of our plans and he's like, Well, we're hanging with Jim. We can go eat earlier or later, whenever doesn't interfere with the movie. I told him it is father's day. That is more important than seeing a movie and hanging out with his friends that he's seen 5 times in the last month. He's not seen his family since we got married... He got mad of course. I said fine, if you want to change plans, youre going to have to call everyone and tell them of the change. He got mad and said he didn't have time to do that. I've just been aggravated all week. He knows. He notices. I tell him what's wrong. We fix it. Then the next day it's something else. I don't know if it's just me. If these things wouldn't normally make me mad but they are now. I am on the pill. I know that can affect your hormones/mood. But I've been on it for 3 months and just recently is when all of this anger has been starting. I'm not really sure what my question is..just what do I do to not be angry all the time and get him to see things from my perspective? Have you ever seen the movie "The Breakup"? You might relate to it and it's funny. Link to post Share on other sites
Babs22 Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 What would happen if you stopped picking up his things? I know it might drive you crazy to let the socks lay on the couch, leave the dirty dishes laying around, etc. , but what would happen if you only picked up your things? I would want to find out how long it would take him to realize that when he looks around, every mess was his. If he doesn't want you to be his mom, stop picking up after him. If after a week nothing has moved, then tell him that you refuse to live that way and you refuse to pick up after him because you are not his mom. If you keep doing everything, you are going to build resentments and that would be really bad on your M. Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 I actually did this Wednesday. It had both of our names and a nice chart I spent hours assembling on the computer to look really good. I was going to let him pick the ones he wanted to do. It was categorized by frequency and points. Kind of to be like a competition (figured he'd like the points and competition) He took one look at it and said "Yeah this isn't going to work" then got mad at me because it felt like I was being his mom. Well, kind of feel like his mom when I'm going around the house picking up socks off the couch and picking up cups from the nightstand and tables and everywhere. Such a selfish, lazy, whiny man child you've been stuck with. Hell would freeze over before I'd start sexually catering to this jerk in the hopes of him picking up his damned socks. Let him live in his own filthy hovel somewhere else. You didn't sign up to his damned scullery maid. Screw him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
spanz1 Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 you simply can not have a decent marriage without having a decent sex life. so start on that. use the improved sex life to get him to make concessions on his other habits. really communicate with him on how important certain tings are to you. but be prepared to find out you do things that drive him nutz too Link to post Share on other sites
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