6 weeks post-breakup - struggling.

[arsenal78]

Its been 6 weeks post-breakup for me from my ex and I've experienced and still am going through the typical emotions - grief, anger, depression, confusion and looking for answers.

 

It did not end well with my ex - plain and simple. I initiated the breakup after a fight which may or may not have involved her cheating on me. I never found out for sure - not sure I'd want to. In an e-mail to her the day after the breakup, I let her know I'm sorry about the way it ended and to let me know if she passed an exam she was awaiting results on - 2 weeks later she emailed saying she passed, but in a condescending way. I simply wished her congrats and best of luck. I wanted to remain NC but I felt this was a logical response.

 

 

Two weeks later - she contacted me regarding a wii that she had left at my house - I let her know she could could come get it but she set the date and requested to leave it on my front porch when I was not home. I had no issue with this but I also remarked that there does not have to be bitterness between us and I'd like if anything, peace. She scoffed and even laughed at this remark. I replied bluntly to her, I felt as if I wasn't going to be made a fool of after asking for something so simple in the matter. I also let her know that the wii would be out on the porch that night as she would no longer dictate my life or demand things - as she often did in our relationship.

 

She never replied nor came for the wii - which leads me to believe that it really wasn't about that. I wrote a friendly email to her, letting her know she could pick it up whenever she wanted and I was sorry that things ended so badly, even that I missed her. I realized this was probably a mistake to do for my own healing sake. I wish she never contacted me about the wii - I feel it was a manipulative tactic to check in on if I was suffering, and I all but confirmed I was by my responses. I was happily settled into NC at that point moving forward, her coming back like that I realize is normal - especially for an item of hers, but it feels like such a setback for me emotionally.

 

I just feel like I have SO much I want to say to her still - both positive and negative and it is just eating away at me inside that I haven't coupled with the fact that she probably wouldn't respond anyways.

 

Sad thing is, I'm not even sure I'd want her back even if it was a possibility. Its so many things eating away at me to the point where I am having trouble functioning daily.

[Thistooshallpass21]

Hey man you know what they say about women...can't live with them can't live without them. I'm a month in and am still on an emotional roller coaster. Try to work on yourself and worry about you. Take some time to figure out what you want.

[justsounsure]

Hi Arsenal,

 

I'm here with you. I'm at about the 3 week mark of total break up, but about 7 weeks from when it pretty much ended.

 

I am suffering. I don't care if my ex knows it or not. In fact, I wish she understood the depths of my suffering (luckily I'm not in a situation where that would "validate" her, though I have been in the past, so I get it). I don't think my ex even realizes how hurt I am, though I have expressed it numerous times. I don't think she even believes someone could be that hurt from losing her (self esteem issues).

 

I, too, feel like there is so much to say and no closure. But, she and I cannot communicate at this point without getting angry, so No Communication it is.

 

F***king hurts.

[xinaxxsdertf]

hey guys hope your days havent been to bad.

 

I went about 2 months of heart ache before i started slowly letting her go. eventually as each day goes by, sub-consciously you slowly lose thoughts of them throughout the day till eventually she/he is just a memory that doesnt cause pain.

 

I made the hugest mistake here though, i got introduced to weed and as my healing process was nearly finished, the weed actually got rid of it completely and i didnt care for her at all anymore. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND TO NOT DO THIS, because it backfired on me big time.

 

When you use a drug to hide an underlying issue, as soon as you hop off that drug, that issue comes back enhanced by 10. so here i was about 4 or 5 months post break up, feeling all those emotions again because i delayed the healing (you need to take it head on and just cry it out).

 

So while i was rebreaking my heart over her 5 months later, shes most probably over me by now and living a good life.

 

But the point anyway was time heals all wounds. i was posting things in this forum for the first 2 months about how much of a struggle life is and how i cant live without my ex. i still think of her all the time now but not to the extent of crying. I wouldve been completely moved on if i hadnt been an idiot and resorted to drugs. but lesson learnt. I truly believe this might be a huge lesson for me in life and i can now admit that i didnt treat my ex as best as i shouldve. we take people for granted when we have them their all the time but once they are gone, we lose ourselves.

 

Time + friends + exercise = healing, social improvement, moral support and a boost in confidence. i promise you it gets better. i still have bad days but it hurts less

[aloneinaz]

Its been 6 weeks post-breakup for me from my ex and I've experienced and still am going through the typical emotions - grief, anger, depression, confusion and looking for answers.

 

It did not end well with my ex - plain and simple. I initiated the breakup after a fight which may or may not have involved her cheating on me. I never found out for sure - not sure I'd want to. In an e-mail to her the day after the breakup, I let her know I'm sorry about the way it ended and to let me know if she passed an exam she was awaiting results on - 2 weeks later she emailed saying she passed, but in a condescending way. I simply wished her congrats and best of luck. I wanted to remain NC but I felt this was a logical response.

 

 

Two weeks later - she contacted me regarding a wii that she had left at my house - I let her know she could could come get it but she set the date and requested to leave it on my front porch when I was not home. I had no issue with this but I also remarked that there does not have to be bitterness between us and I'd like if anything, peace. She scoffed and even laughed at this remark. I replied bluntly to her, I felt as if I wasn't going to be made a fool of after asking for something so simple in the matter. I also let her know that the wii would be out on the porch that night as she would no longer dictate my life or demand things - as she often did in our relationship.

 

She never replied nor came for the wii - which leads me to believe that it really wasn't about that. I wrote a friendly email to her, letting her know she could pick it up whenever she wanted and I was sorry that things ended so badly, even that I missed her. I realized this was probably a mistake to do for my own healing sake. I wish she never contacted me about the wii - I feel it was a manipulative tactic to check in on if I was suffering, and I all but confirmed I was by my responses. I was happily settled into NC at that point moving forward, her coming back like that I realize is normal - especially for an item of hers, but it feels like such a setback for me emotionally.

 

I just feel like I have SO much I want to say to her still - both positive and negative and it is just eating away at me inside that I haven't coupled with the fact that she probably wouldn't respond anyways.

 

Sad thing is, I'm not even sure I'd want her back even if it was a possibility. Its so many things eating away at me to the point where I am having trouble functioning daily.

 

 

Here's my suggestion. Go thru your place and round up EVERTHING that she could lay claim to. Her Wii and other things. Put them in a box. Mail them to her place. Why? You want no reason for her to contact your further. You also don't need her $hhit around you place. She also understand by doing this that you want NO further contact as you're removing her lame reason to contact you again.

 

 

You're struggling because you've had some contact w/her off/on since your break up. She's your past. You MUST cut all ties to her. Block her on all social media, you phone, etc. You need to vanish from her life so you can heal and move on.

 

 

You broke up with her for a reason. The relationship wasn't working so you pulled the plug. Don't second guess yourself. I'm sure this wasn't the first time you two had issues and your common sense kicked in and said "enough"..

 

 

You'll heal w/strict NC and after a while, you'll get back on the dating horse and meet someone else.

[arsenal78]

Here's my suggestion. Go thru your place and round up EVERTHING that she could lay claim to. Her Wii and other things. Put them in a box. Mail them to her place. Why? You want no reason for her to contact your further. You also don't need her $hhit around you place. She also understand by doing this that you want NO further contact as you're removing her lame reason to contact you again.

 

 

You're struggling because you've had some contact w/her off/on since your break up. She's your past. You MUST cut all ties to her. Block her on all social media, you phone, etc. You need to vanish from her life so you can heal and move on.

 

 

You broke up with her for a reason. The relationship wasn't working so you pulled the plug. Don't second guess yourself. I'm sure this wasn't the first time you two had issues and your common sense kicked in and said "enough"..

 

 

You'll heal w/strict NC and after a while, you'll get back on the dating horse and meet someone else.

 

Thank you so much for this. This is EXACTLY what I needed to hear.