Blaze997 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 I was just broken up with today and I just feel like it was one too many. I just have too much regret and bad memories in my life now and I'm only 30. I've had years and years of dating and relationships, including a previous relationship of 6 years (this one was 1 year) and the failures just seem to stack up. It is like I can't think of anything in the past 10 years of my life and feel anything but sad. I have no happy memories because everything was ruined by a breakup. I am much more broken up about this one than even the 6 year relationship, even though the relationship was turbulent and the breakup was probably for the best. Does anyone else feel like this? How do you forget or move on? Maybe I have been too focused on dating and solo activities like reading and video games instead of friends, so I have no other good to draw on. Don't be like me. Link to post Share on other sites
Bito Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Breakups make everything seem impossible and awfull. Your constructed identity shatters when you suddenly loose your significant other. It's ok to feel bad. Really it is. I know it's ****ing awfull. But, When you breakup with someone your time that was spent with them was not a waste. I'm sure you have learned a lot and have become a stronger person for it. The best thing you can do to break the cycle of pain is to identify your thought paterns. Ask yourself why you're thinking so negatively. The answer is obvious right? Your heartbroken. But why does heartbreak effect you so strongly? Well, is being in a relationship a requirement for you to be happy? Apparently not If you were not even happy in the last 10 years of your life. Do you have anything your pationate about? You mentioned reading and video games. I just finished witcher 3 <highly recommend > Just some thoughts. Hope you feel better mate. Link to post Share on other sites
justsounsure Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Oh my gosh yes. Started dating when I was 22 (late bloomer). Was engaged to that person by 25, and by 26, my first dumping and broken engagement. Grieved for 6 months, dated different people for a year and met my 2nd love. That lasted only a month but hurt me tremendously! Grieved another 6 months, then the met my next love and 2 years later that ended in a dumping and broken engagement. Grieved another 6 months, met someone else and now here I am again lol. At least this breakup was semi-mutual. But yes, it's hard not to get down on things here now at 32. I want to get married, settle down and have kids. I can't say that I don't have good memories, but yes it is hard when they are tarnished by a terrible ending. Hang in there. You certainly aren't alone. I just keep truckin along hoping for the best. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Blaze997 Posted June 20, 2015 Author Share Posted June 20, 2015 (edited) Breakups make everything seem impossible and awfull. Your constructed identity shatters when you suddenly loose your significant other. It's ok to feel bad. Really it is. I know it's ****ing awfull. But, When you breakup with someone your time that was spent with them was not a waste. I'm sure you have learned a lot and have become a stronger person for it. The best thing you can do to break the cycle of pain is to identify your thought paterns. Ask yourself why you're thinking so negatively. The answer is obvious right? Your heartbroken. But why does heartbreak effect you so strongly? Well, is being in a relationship a requirement for you to be happy? Apparently not If you were not even happy in the last 10 years of your life. Do you have anything your pationate about? You mentioned reading and video games. I just finished witcher 3 <highly recommend > Just some thoughts. Hope you feel better mate. There are some other things I am passionate about like softball, but I can't play like I used to while I'm working in Korea. Social league softball was a great way to feel better and meet people but I feel especially isolated this time. I feel like I have been angry, stressed, or in a hurry for 3 years (been in Korea less than a year, it isn't that). Something is making me that way but I'm not really sure. It is making me treat women badly because I get defensive too easily when they are just looking for reassurance. I just feel bad about being angry instead of reassuring and it sucks that I'll likely have no chance to make up for it. At least I'm pretty sure I won't let myself be like that again. I just need to find a way to relax. Edited June 20, 2015 by Blaze997 Link to post Share on other sites
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