Griesfootball Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 To be short: Dated a girl for 14 months, she broke up with me April 2014. Took forever to get over her. 14 months later which is last weekend she calls 3 times while I'm asleep. I woke up and said you called? She said sorry I was drunk. The next night she texted me saying something reminded her of me. We've been texting since. We have been talking about hooking up and we mutually agreed but as each day passes deep down I know I will want her back. She may be on a rebound as she just split from someone, since me she has been on a cycle of short relationships. Why is she coming back to me and what should I do? Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 To be short: Dated a girl for 14 months, she broke up with me April 2014. Took forever to get over her. 14 months later which is last weekend she calls 3 times while I'm asleep. I woke up and said you called? She said sorry I was drunk. The next night she texted me saying something reminded her of me. We've been texting since. We have been talking about hooking up and we mutually agreed but as each day passes deep down I know I will want her back. She may be on a rebound as she just split from someone, since me she has been on a cycle of short relationships. Why is she coming back to me and what should I do? Thanks I would stay away unless she comes over the top and says that she wants to try again. Look at how much texting her is shaking you up -- don't think you'd be able to handle an FWB. In general, if you're coming on here asking what you should do, you probably shouldn't be doing anything. Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Go back to NC. You're still attached to her. Link to post Share on other sites
AJH1982 Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 Be careful if you now she is on the rebound! If you still have feelings for her i agree with No Limit! If you want her back do not chase her she needs to work very hard to get you back! Best of luck! Link to post Share on other sites
SolidGoldTurd Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 I would stay away unless she comes over the top and says that she wants to try again. Look at how much texting her is shaking you up -- don't think you'd be able to handle an FWB. In general, if you're coming on here asking what you should do, you probably shouldn't be doing anything. A girl will NEVER be upfront and say "Let's get back together". A girl who is interested in you, ex or not, will put herself in your orbit and expect you, the man, to make the first move. This is fact. 90% of the time women want a man who knows what he wants and knows how to get it. Link to post Share on other sites
SolidGoldTurd Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 To be short: Dated a girl for 14 months, she broke up with me April 2014. Took forever to get over her. 14 months later which is last weekend she calls 3 times while I'm asleep. I woke up and said you called? She said sorry I was drunk. The next night she texted me saying something reminded her of me. We've been texting since. We have been talking about hooking up and we mutually agreed but as each day passes deep down I know I will want her back. She may be on a rebound as she just split from someone, since me she has been on a cycle of short relationships. Why is she coming back to me and what should I do? Thanks A lot of people here will tend to disagree with what I'm about to say about your situation. Whether you take what I say on board is totally up to you though. I expect that there was some sort of period of No Contact between you getting dumped and the moment she contacted you? What I will say though is that whenever a girl, ex or not, is still interested in you she'll physically put herself in your orbit and expect you, the man, to make the first move. I totally disagree with that Simon Phoenix dude who claims that the only time she'll want you back is if she contacts you one day saying "I want you back". The truth is there is really no woman/girl who is going to literally put the risk of rejection on the line. The reason why your ex is contacting you in the first place is to judge your level of interest and whether either there's still a chance of reconciliation or that you're still hooked onto her. Anyway. What I would've done when she sent me a text is to ASSUME she wants to see me. This would go for any girl. I would invite her to take a bottle of wine over to my place to make dinner. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 (edited) A girl will NEVER be upfront and say "Let's get back together". A girl who is interested in you, ex or not, will put herself in your orbit and expect you, the man, to make the first move. This is fact. 90% of the time women want a man who knows what he wants and knows how to get it. This is completely untrue. It's happened to me and others I know. Either way, she broke -- she fixes. Orbiting isn't good enough right now, especially since he's still shook. If he was completely over it and indifferent to being broke up with, than I'd probably agree a lot of your advice in this situation. But the fact that he still regards her as an "ex" instead of a "girl he used to date" makes me think that he's going into an emotional firing squad. Edited June 20, 2015 by Simon Phoenix Link to post Share on other sites
SolidGoldTurd Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 This is completely untrue. It's happened to me and others I know. Either way, she broke -- she fixes. Orbiting isn't good enough right now, especially since he's still shook. If he was completely over it and indifferent to being broke up with, than I'd probably agree a lot of your advice in this situation. But the fact that he still regards her as an "ex" instead of a "girl he used to date" makes me think that he's going into an emotional firing squad. If he was over it and indifferent I don't think he'd want to get back with her lol. I'm here giving him advice on what he can do to increase his chances of reconciliation. I still call the "girl I used to date" 3 years ago my ex-gf and I'm completely and utterly over her ... what a ludicrous thing to say lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 If he was over it and indifferent I don't think he'd want to get back with her lol. I'm here giving him advice on what he can do to increase his chances of reconciliation. I still call the "girl I used to date" 3 years ago my ex-gf and I'm completely and utterly over her ... what a ludicrous thing to say lol When I say "indifferent" I mean that he'd see her in a similar respect that he saw a girl he was interested in in class/at a party/at work that he was intrigued by. Where he was open to dating but not completely obsessed or emotionally driven toward a certain outcome. I'm sure there are girls from your past that you'd hook up with under the right circumstances but that you wouldn't lose sleep about if it didn't happen. Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 A girl will NEVER be upfront and say "Let's get back together". A girl who is interested in you, ex or not, will put herself in your orbit and expect you, the man, to make the first move. This is fact. 90% of the time women want a man who knows what he wants and knows how to get it. I'd probably agree with you except for one thing. This is an ex, not a girl he just met. The dynamics are completely different when an ex comes back into your life. Unless she comes right out and makes her intentions plain, he's best to stay away. Link to post Share on other sites
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