tiki Posted April 29, 2005 Share Posted April 29, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC Because before I would have been tempted to reply, hammer her more about our relationship and how wrong she is, blah, blah, blah. I'll probably read all of them she sends me. I won't reply to any of them and that's the difference. Oooohhhhh. Sorry, didn't put it all together. I thought maybe you meant that you usually kept them forever or something. You're obviously doing much better. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted April 29, 2005 Share Posted April 29, 2005 Originally posted by tiki So why are you proud you deleted it, if you read it? Baby steps, baby steps. He didn't save the email.. he used to save her emails and what not.. so even if he read it.. he didn't respond to her (You betta not have responded to her! ) Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedInOC Posted April 29, 2005 Author Share Posted April 29, 2005 Originally posted by Merin He didn't save the email.. he used to save her emails and what not.. so even if he read it.. he didn't respond to her (You betta not have responded to her! ) Exactly. I used to respond immediately, with a long diatribe about her mistakes, telling her how much I loved her (probably trying to make her feel guilty in the process!) and save the email forever. Not anymore. Read. Laugh. Delete. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted April 29, 2005 Share Posted April 29, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC Read. Laugh. Delete. You Da Man! Link to post Share on other sites
Bubbles Posted April 29, 2005 Share Posted April 29, 2005 ConfusedInOC, CONGRATULATIONS! I know it's hard to do what you did... but you did it and I know that with time you will feel better. The other thing I would like to say is "your new pic rocks"! I'm glad you took my suggestion to at least "smirk" at us You really are a terribly handsome man. It's a good thing that I do not live near you! bubbles Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedInOC Posted April 29, 2005 Author Share Posted April 29, 2005 Originally posted by Bubbles ConfusedInOC, CONGRATULATIONS! I know it's hard to do what you did... but you did it and I know that with time you will feel better. The other thing I would like to say is "your new pic rocks"! I'm glad you took my suggestion to at least "smirk" at us You really are a terribly handsome man. It's a good thing that I do not live near you! bubbles Aww, thanks bubbles. You too! But you guys need to stop feeding my ego. There's plenty of gorgeous women on here, I am beginning to think that most men are just plain idiots.... Link to post Share on other sites
Bubbles Posted April 29, 2005 Share Posted April 29, 2005 See that? "I am beginning to think that most men are just plain idiots...." THIS ONE HAS A BRAIN!!! SHOUT IT FROM THE MOUNTAIN TOPS! WE FOUND A MALE WITH A BRAIN!!!!! tee, hee, hee! Thank you ConfusedInOC......we think you're pretty cool too! bubbles Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedInOC Posted April 29, 2005 Author Share Posted April 29, 2005 Thanks. They're lining up now!! I can't wait until I am ready to date again. It will be a little while but I definitely feel the best way to move on, besides being angry at her, is to get out and meet people. ....and apologize to my friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Bubbles Posted April 29, 2005 Share Posted April 29, 2005 I call it "re-connecting" with my friends. Apologize and be real. Take what they have to say to you like a man and I'm sure it will all be good You just need to get yourself out there! Forget about dating! The right girl will come along when it's time. Heal first. spend time with your friends! bubbles Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 30, 2005 Share Posted April 30, 2005 Well, I did it last night. I put all her photos away I deleted her off my Yahoo IM I deleted her phone numbers off my cell phone I archived her emails on a disk and put them with the rest of her trinkets, far, far from sight She doesn't deserve me. Everyone who knows us both says that. She showed me who she was, and I didn't believe her. Am I a little more battle hardened? You betch'cha. I've also learned what to do and what not to do and my confidence and stride is coming back. I am starting to smile today and for once, I don't give a damn what she is doing. I proved it by deleted an email she sent me today. Who cares?! This whole entire process has been a big, hard lesson. Lesson learned. Congrats and I'm proud of you!!! That was a real hard thing to do, but had to be done. I'm sure abit of weight has been lifted from your shoulders...A sign of peace and moving on... I can't wait until I am ready to date again. And have fun!! Good thoughts and good energy all the way! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedInOC Posted April 30, 2005 Author Share Posted April 30, 2005 Originally posted by whichwayisup Congrats and I'm proud of you!!! That was a real hard thing to do, but had to be done. I'm sure abit of weight has been lifted from your shoulders...A sign of peace and moving on... And have fun!! Good thoughts and good energy all the way! Without you cool LS peeps, I might never have been able to do it. My humble thanks go to you all. Link to post Share on other sites
demonfall Posted April 30, 2005 Share Posted April 30, 2005 Good for you CIOC! Reading this has prompted me to finally remove her numbers from my cell. I'd already filed everything else away, but never got around to deleting her numbers. Though I'll probably still remember her home number, I won't be seeing them every time I go to call someone. Her name is Amber, and she was the first number listed in my cell. As for being ready to date again... I know I'm not ready for anything serious yet. It's only been 4 months since she left me. I'm friends with a few women I work with, and we hang out and have very open discussions all the time. After talking to them for a while, they've honestly told me that I'm not over my ex yet. I don't feel like s*** anymore, but I guess I still bring it up in conversation. At least I'm getting out and making new friends. I stay out as late as I want and don't have to worry about not being home with her. I'm starting fresh, and acting like I'm about 7 years younger than I am. It feels good to know that it really does get better. I think you understand that now CIOC. None of us believe that when we first start out here. This is another one of those threads that can be of help to a lot of new people on here. I'm sure you'll be like most of us on here too. I don't really need to lurk here looking for help anymore, but it's nice to add some insight to others in need of it. Congrats! Get out and have some fun! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedInOC Posted April 30, 2005 Author Share Posted April 30, 2005 Originally posted by demonfall Good for you CIOC! Reading this has prompted me to finally remove her numbers from my cell. I'd already filed everything else away, but never got around to deleting her numbers. Though I'll probably still remember her home number, I won't be seeing them every time I go to call someone. Her name is Amber, and she was the first number listed in my cell. As for being ready to date again... I know I'm not ready for anything serious yet. It's only been 4 months since she left me. I'm friends with a few women I work with, and we hang out and have very open discussions all the time. After talking to them for a while, they've honestly told me that I'm not over my ex yet. I don't feel like s*** anymore, but I guess I still bring it up in conversation. At least I'm getting out and making new friends. I stay out as late as I want and don't have to worry about not being home with her. I'm starting fresh, and acting like I'm about 7 years younger than I am. It feels good to know that it really does get better. I think you understand that now CIOC. None of us believe that when we first start out here. This is another one of those threads that can be of help to a lot of new people on here. I'm sure you'll be like most of us on here too. I don't really need to lurk here looking for help anymore, but it's nice to add some insight to others in need of it. Congrats! Get out and have some fun! Thanks man. I had to take some time to read your threads and you and I were in similar situations. Getting rid of her phone number, pics, emails, IM stuff is essential. Like was said earlier, you almost have to act like they died. Remove them from your memory banks and move on. Read the tag line, it helped me a lot. If they can walk away from you, they were not meant to be part of your destiny. Link to post Share on other sites
BigB Posted May 1, 2005 Share Posted May 1, 2005 Good job dude. much props. Link to post Share on other sites
shamen Posted May 1, 2005 Share Posted May 1, 2005 Hi Confused, Congrats on doing the spring cleaning! Makes me realize that I've got some stuff to do when I get back to my Sin City... never really deleted the old emails and such. You've motivated me! Oh, and when you're ready, dating is always interesting. Sometimes even when you're not ready... Link to post Share on other sites
Jess xx Posted May 1, 2005 Share Posted May 1, 2005 The way you are feeling today gives me a lot of hope. Im pleased for you and relate to how LS gives a lot of support & comfort....Ive only really "joined" LS the last few weeks and don't know the full story on your break up but get the impression you are starting to move on...I can't wait to get that phase. From the first moment I realised there was no chance of reconciliation with my ex, I boxed up all associated items...which was hideous, but definately must be done. Its kinda weird but because at the end of my relationship I was lied to SO much, the good times we shared feel so long ago so there is no point in trying desperately hard to hold onto them, as you say he walked away and I must let him!... Today is a little better than yesterday. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 1, 2005 Author Share Posted May 1, 2005 Thanks Shamen and BigB! Jess, it takes a while. What made it easier for me is a) Thinking about how much she took me for granted. b) Knowing she didn't put much into it, therefore didn't get much out of it. Getting rid of anything related to her was almost like an exorcism. If you don't have the constant reminders, your focus can shift to other things (hobbies, work, etc). In my case, I had forgotten than I am not a terrible looking guy, that I am kind of funny, that I do have some charm and that hey, I actually DO have some appeal. Being with her, I have no clue why, but I always felt inferior. Nobody should feel like that and now that I am clear of her, I'll NEVER let it happen again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 5, 2005 Author Share Posted May 5, 2005 Just as an update, I haven't talked to the ex on the phone in over 2 weeks nor conversed by email in over a week now. So far, so good. I still think about her, mostly when I wake up in the morning. But throughout the day I am much better. Last night I went out and hung out with friends and I felt much better. I think I'll get through this fine. It's just going to take a bit more time. Link to post Share on other sites
purple21 Posted May 5, 2005 Share Posted May 5, 2005 excellent job! You can do it - it will get easier as time passes that I do know. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted May 5, 2005 Share Posted May 5, 2005 And you know what else, OC ? Sometimes you have to experience and survive the bad relationships before you can genuinely appreciate a good one. Otherwise, you might never learn the difference. One day you'll meet someone who so far surpasses what you've become accustomed to, that you'll look back on this relationship and say: "What the f*ck was I thinking?!" There may be a couple more like this in store for you before you finally find that special someone who's just the right "fit" for you. And it won't require nearly as much work as you've been putting into it so far. But as long as you take the negative and turn it into a 'positive' lesson, each relationship from here on out will be better than the one before. Shoot, we're ALL still learning! Link to post Share on other sites
purple21 Posted May 5, 2005 Share Posted May 5, 2005 Originally posted by EnigmaXOXO you'll look back on this relationship and say: "What the f*ck was I thinking?!" Yeah good point - I thought me and my ex (together 5 years) were it and we were gonna get married, blah, blah, blah even though I wasn't completely happy. Haven't met anyone great yet serious wise, it's only been a year, but I met a lot of interesting people regardless and I'm so happy that we are no longer together (the ex). After about 6 months after the breakup I started thinking why did I waste so much time with him and what was I thinking, I deserve more than that. Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted May 5, 2005 Share Posted May 5, 2005 You guys give us inspiration A friend told me getting dumped is the best thing that can happen to you. You learn so much more about relationships, that it helps with the next one. The one who leaves doesnt learn nearly as much as you do. Yah for being dumped lol Link to post Share on other sites
purple21 Posted May 5, 2005 Share Posted May 5, 2005 i'll drink to that - lol Link to post Share on other sites
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