kismetkismet Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 This is actually a question for a friend.. She has been asking my advice on this for ages and I don't know how to advise her at this stage... Quick breakdown: Her and this guy dated for about 1.5 years semi-long distance. They spent like 80% of weekends together. He was a super loving boyfriend, kind of jumped the gun emotionally in my opinion, but always talked about the future and how much he loved her etc. He'd do sweet things like send her flowers to work and things like that.. But she would get extremely jealous when drinking and would explode at him and say some pretty mean things. He gave her several chances but eventually got tired of it. Personally, I don't think that the jealousy came from nowhere, even if her reaction was destructive and mean. I only met him twice.. but one of the times i caught him taking a photo of my chest (real mature) and once when they were on vacation they got in a fight and he called me and said that he was feeling promiscuous. She's found nude photos of other girls on his computer.. and a few other strange things. NOW they have been broken up for about a month... they've been in contact on and off and he bounces between being very childish and passive aggressive, and saying that he still loves her and doesn't know what to do. He has tried to hang out a couple of times but he won't tell her what his intent is.. whether he wants to try to work on things or if he's done. She asks him directly and he avoids the subject. She's not sure whether this is because he needs her to pursue him to make up for her behaviour, or if he is just jerking her around and keeping her on the back burner. He has said things like that he is afraid of letting go and regretting the decision. she told him today that she needs to move on if he won't tell her either way what he wants and he was like "if you change your mind and want to hang then actually call me to make plans" and then avoided things she was saying. She's holding onto the idea that he just needs time and that he still wants to hang out, but I don't know if that ever works when it's so one sided??? I have told her my opinion on things many times and it's so hard to see her go through this.. i just need some more perspective to relay to her because I haven't been in that position before so I don't know what to say (and of course i am in best friend mamma bear mode where i just want to claw him) Link to post Share on other sites
AJH1982 Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 Your friend needs to kick this guy on his testiculus! Cut all contact! When people dont now what they want the best that you can do is to leave them alone. His playing with her and if he really did all of those things his not worth the effort! Best of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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