DatingDirection Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 I am so ****ing mad, sad, angry and lonely all at the same time. My ex messaged me, we haven't seen eachother in 12 years, and i have no idea why i allowed him to message me, let alone, why i even responded to his messages. I take fully responsibily, and that i let it go so far as to have phone sex with him 2x. The point is, he wants to sleep with me. I dated him when i was in my late teens, a virgin at the time, i was never sexual like that with him, and now he wants to get sexual with me. At first, i didn't mind, b/c i understand, i dont love him anymore, or even like his personality, but he's on my brain too much lately, and i want him out. Sleeping with him will only make this worse, yes? On the other hand i know he's so experienced, and i am not, and it would be so out of character of me to just go for it, and let him do what he wants with me, i may even enjoy this? Then, there is Mr. Chemistry, the one i think i may have alot of chemistry with, but he only wants to be friends, and while he wants this, i am not even sure if i want to be just friends or more, but the point is, when he called me tonight, it was an akward and short convesation, i brought up to him that my ex called me after 12 years, but didn't say more, and that it was bothering me, he asked me if i wanted to talk about it, i said no. Then he went on to tell me he's on the way to see his friends and his plans for the weekend, and thanked me for some information i gave him, about a project he's intersted in. I'm not sure if this is the last time i should talk to him or reach out, considering this last conversation was odd, and brief? Then there is Mr. Venezuala, the guy, i was friends with for 2 years. He and i have started to speak again, after i slept with him, thinking it was going to go somewhere, but didn't b/c turns out he met another girl right after me, and he cut those romantic feelings off for me, and went with her, but he also said, he thought about me many times, and finds it hard to be friends with me, as he will get confused, but if i want to keep in touch via chat...so i took the HOTTEST photo of me, classy, and sexy, and sent him a message with the photo, and vola, he then asks how i am. I would love to just be real with him and have a good conversation about how i am, nothing about us, just in general? or keep it short and sweet, im great thanks, and you? Over all, maybe im making a big deal of all this in my head but i find having so many different feelings at once and thoughts at once overwhelming, and self, and distracting me from reality. Does this make sense? What should i do with each of these men? I do have my own life to work on and improve, and i understand that i cannot have a RL with anyone at the moment, but my heart is pulled for my feelings for Mr Chemistry and Mr. Venezuela, someone who use to call a friend/acquiescence. Link to post Share on other sites
StalwartMind Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 Bit of a tug of war and perhaps the eventual winner is whomever is the strongest, in the sense that it's the person who manages to attract and capture your feelings in a moment where your own yearning is at a point you need some kind of release. The same reason why you allowed yourself to end up having phone sex twice with your ex you haven't seen in 12 years. Everyone needs some kind confirmation at times, and you do seem give of the impression that you are looking for someone who can verify all of you, and honestly neither 3 seem to be able to do that. So if I was you I would consider actually finding a completely different guy who can offer you all the qualities you seek. In the end we all choose to act on our available options, but that said we can also be clouded by those who do reside in our lives. Perhaps a fresh breath of air is in order, I naturally can't say with a 100% certainty as it depends on too many factors. Taking all this into consideration though, sometimes you do have to go through feelings and experiences you may not prefer or be comfortable with, in order to actually end up wherever it is you need to be. Whatever turns you on and has the strongest hold on your heart, allow yourself to figure it out and explore this world and the men who inhabits it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author DatingDirection Posted June 20, 2015 Author Share Posted June 20, 2015 I'm not looking for affirmation form anyone. I just happen to be involved with these 3 people, although it is off with the ex, as i don't want him in my life at all anymore. I realise my post doesn't sound too good, but i am very inexperienced, and naive, so that's why im asking for direction on here. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Author DatingDirection Posted June 20, 2015 Author Share Posted June 20, 2015 Seems like the ex wanted affirmation from me, b/c he sought me out again, and wanted to pursue something with me. If anything his lost, and lonliness energy brought me in, and yes perhaps i was a bit lost that i caved in, but i quickly niped that in the butt, and cut of the deal with him. Mr. Chemistry and i do have a good connection, although recently, im not too sure about that if that time and space is slowing coming to an end, im all for listening to the universe and what will be will be. Mr. Venzuala, is my dream boat, yes that's true, and perhaps me sending a photo, was for him to realise, what he's losing out on. because i closed the door on that one too, when he wanted to stay freinds via chat, and i want more, deserve more than a chat with him. Link to post Share on other sites
StalwartMind Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 Yeah I would agree with that, you/anyone do deserve something more fulfilling, or if you will "the complete experience". Inexperience may frighten some people or even be an unattractive quality, but everyone has to start somewhere. None of us enter life, relationships or activities we enjoy by being masters, it's an investment we have to do that can be time consuming. I believe long ago I wrote somewhere here who was an inexperienced kisser, that there is nothing as great as being inexperienced with something like that of the intimate nature, as it means you can get to do a lot of practice. Granted that it greatly helps that you do have a partner/lover that feels the same way and perhaps just have a very easy going attitude to life/relationships in general. I don't think it's unreasonable to say that all 3 games have something which appeals to you, ideally you'd find a man who has all said qualities which shouldn't be impossible. Men like women are attracted to all sorts of things, and there is no doubt sending a photo to Mr. Venezuala brought out his primal manly instincts. Some men are a lot more easily allured visually than others. I'm not here to discuss what a "real man" is, as to me it's up to anyone to decide, but that said, you will find yourself valued a lot more in the company of someone who will appreciate you for all that you are. Life is full of opportunities and rather take action and explore things, especially when one seeks experiences, than be inactive and wonder about things that could of been. I've no issues with people that live a very careful life, I like to believe I'm cautious too, but even so everyone needs to take chances with something at times. Life is too short for regrets, enjoy and learn and eventually yeah, we'll all end up being where it is we are meant to be. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author DatingDirection Posted June 23, 2015 Author Share Posted June 23, 2015 Should i have stayed in contact with mr. Venzula then, if life is too short for regrets? I did use the term we can't talk "for now" Link to post Share on other sites
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