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would a married man constantly flirt without intention?


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misscongeniality143
I'm really surprised after your experience with a MM that you had no clue that this guy was coming on to you. Really? You already know how to respond to him after your last experience.

 

Well the experience i had did not start out like this. In fact the guy rarely even spoke to me let alone acknowledge me until all of us coworkers were out drinking one night and then thats when he approached me. Thats how it started. With this guy its different. Like i said i dont know if hes just naturally overly flirty or what...

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I'm not sure if this guy hugs and puts his arm around other women or just you. It's definetly NOT harrasment because your receptive to it. I think you're enjoying the attention. I don't think you're that naive.

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If the coworkers are gossiping about this guy's behavior in the workplace, then it's inappropriate conduct, because it's disrupting productivity. You can handle this yourself by verbally shutting him down. In any case it would the professional thing to do.

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misscongeniality143

He talks to a lot of people...hes really outgoing. Ive seen him hug one other girl i work with and then there was this married woman we work with that he hugged from behind. I havent seen him touch or hug anybody else though. Ive only seen him more attentive towards the more attractive women. And i know im attractive and younger and i know he thinks so too cos well hes called me pretty...and when he asked how old i was and i told him he said im a "baby". (Im 22 btw) maybe he just wants to see if hes still got his way with girls i dunno...ive only been working with him for like 3 weeks. Hes worked there for over a year and i havent heard anything bad about him. But i havent asked either.

 

Although when i first started working there, there was this girl who randomly told me not to mess with anybody there because she told me all the guys are horn dogs..that there was a problem with wives or something. And hes the only one whos hit on me that is married. I dont know what his intentions are but i hate people who flirt with other people and lead them on thinking that they have this thing going on when they dont, they just keep feeding on it for their own sick pleasure. Guys and girls. Im a nice person but those type of people bring out a different side in me.

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He talks to a lot of people...hes really outgoing. Ive seen him hug one other girl i work with and then there was this married woman we work with that he hugged from behind. I havent seen him touch or hug anybody else though. Ive only seen him more attentive towards the more attractive women. And i know im attractive and younger and i know he thinks so too cos well hes called me pretty...and when he asked how old i was and i told him he said im a "baby". (Im 22 btw) maybe he just wants to see if hes still got his way with girls i dunno...ive only been working with him for like 3 weeks. Hes worked there for over a year and i havent heard anything bad about him. But i havent asked either.

 

Although when i first started working there, there was this girl who randomly told me not to mess with anybody there because she told me all the guys are horn dogs..that there was a problem with wives or something. And hes the only one whos hit on me that is married. I dont know what his intentions are but i hate people who flirt with other people and lead them on thinking that they have this thing going on when they dont, they just keep feeding on it for their own sick pleasure. Guys and girls. Im a nice person but those type of people bring out a different side in me.

 

You work at a bar, hotel or restaurant? Then I can see it. I worked at a night club, and there was a lot of crap going on amongst staff that I stayed out of.

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Oh yes it does. Those are places where there is alcohol being served/party atmosphere. I worked in all those places....staff having sex in the bathrooms, waitress having sex with male strippers, staff partying at the end of the night in one of the hotel rooms, doin coke, etc. Hostess doin one of the cooks in the vip area up stairs....

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misscongeniality143

Wow. Well that makes sense now. Well where i work there is no drinking or drugs going on while working. At least not that i know of. And i work overnights so nearly the whole shift we dont have to deal with customers so we dont really have to worry about being too professional since were not potraying an image of the company to the public. As long as we do our jobs then working overnights is pretty laid back. Hes only hugged me in front of customers once. But it was when we were standing next to eachother and it was more like a side hug.

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I dont know what his intentions are but i hate people who flirt with other people and lead them on thinking that they have this thing going on when they dont, they just keep feeding on it for their own sick pleasure. Guys and girls. Im a nice person but those type of people bring out a different side in me.

 

Once you know he's married it is your responsibility to set boundaries. Men are going to be men and you were already warned that they are horndogs where you work. Just set them straight and move on with your work. You already know this drill.

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Sounds to me he's touchy feely/ harmless. I work with a guy that is like that with everyone including the guys...a side hug here, a pat on the back there, or a high five with lots of laughter.

 

So maybe this show of affection amongst coworkers is unacceptable to you, which is fine. You just have to speak up and tell him that you don't feel comfortable him doing that to you. I am sure he will respect your boundaries.

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He talks to a lot of people...hes really outgoing. Ive seen him hug one other girl i work with and then there was this married woman we work with that he hugged from behind. I havent seen him touch or hug anybody else though. Ive only seen him more attentive towards the more attractive women. And i know im attractive and younger and i know he thinks so too cos well hes called me pretty...and when he asked how old i was and i told him he said im a "baby". (Im 22 btw) maybe he just wants to see if hes still got his way with girls i dunno...ive only been working with him for like 3 weeks. Hes worked there for over a year and i havent heard anything bad about him. But i havent asked either.

 

Although when i first started working there, there was this girl who randomly told me not to mess with anybody there because she told me all the guys are horn dogs..that there was a problem with wives or something. And hes the only one whos hit on me that is married. I dont know what his intentions are but i hate people who flirt with other people and lead them on thinking that they have this thing going on when they dont, they just keep feeding on it for their own sick pleasure. Guys and girls. Im a nice person but those type of people bring out a different side in me.

 

The above bolded you have said a couple of times now and I'm trying to figure out what you're getting at. It sounds like you're saying it pisses you off if a guy flirts with you without the intention to take it further, and it seems like the whole point of your first post on this thread was to find out if this guy wants to start something up with you because you are interested in starting something up with him. Couple that with what you say about getting mad at guys for flirting with you without having the intention to go further and I get the impression you do want to mess around with this guy.

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Lois_Griffin

Yeah. I'm kinda thinking you all work in a Super Walmart and stock the shelves overnight. I've seen those night creatures and a lot of them just aren't.....right in the head.

 

That would explain this social misfit's behavior.

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misscongeniality143
The above bolded you have said a couple of times now and I'm trying to figure out what you're getting at. It sounds like you're saying it pisses you off if a guy flirts with you without the intention to take it further, and it seems like the whole point of your first post on this thread was to find out if this guy wants to start something up with you because you are interested in starting something up with him. Couple that with what you say about getting mad at guys for flirting with you without having the intention to go further and I get the impression you do want to mess around with this guy.

 

We all have a sense of intuition about things and with some people that intuition is a lot stronger and more accurate than others and my gut feeling told me that this guy was trying to pursue me but i wasnt sure. Part of me told me that he wasnt but a bigger part of me told me that he was. I have a tendancy to overanalyze everything and it stresses me out but on the bright side it helps me put two and two together. I can figure things out. No i am not a mind reader, i am not always right about things but most of the time i am. And considering pretty much everybody that commented on my thread said that he WAS trying to pursue me, given all the details, tells me that i can trust my intuition about things better. Because i thought to myself...if i was unattractive to him i dont think he would be giving me this much attention. I needed some closure and somebody to talk to.

 

And regardless if i am interested in a person or not, if they go around flirting with everybody just for an ego boost or to take advantage of somebody with no intention to form any kind of relationship, i lose all respect for them. Because that is DIRESPECTFUL on THEIR part for leading somebody on or giving them false hope about something.

 

I dont get mad if somebody rejects me. That is just life. Not everybody is gonna like a certain person or find them attractive and you cannot force a feeling thats not there. You just have to deal with it. But now what does make me mad is when somebody goes around acting *FLIRTING* like theyre interested or attracted to somebody when theyre really not, they just do it for their own benefit. I hate fake people.

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