Day 50 of no contact and I'm beginning to struggle.

[wonderwoman83]

I honestly thought by now it would start getting easier. But most of all I thought I would have heard from him. He deleted all my friends from social media and his friends deleted me. The one time that I seen him he looked right at me and looked away. He ended the relationship. Can someone just turn their feelings of after a heated argument.

 

I throw myself into the gym, I go out with friends and I'm doing bloody brilliant in work. But nothing is taking away this ache, when does it start fading??

[jen1447]

50 days is early, you've got time to go yet. But it will get better. Just hang in there.

[TunaCat]

Yesterday, I hit day 90 and things are so much better for me. I'll never be "whatever" about him because we were best friends for nearly 2 decades. I do wish him health & happiness because he's a good person. Despite all the sadness I felt after the breakup, I know he is a good person, it just didn't work out between us.

 

Once you get to where I am, things will definitely have improved for you.

[Happines]

For me it's been two weeks only and I left him due to him treating me badly he promised he will do everything to prove me his love and etc but he just stopped contacting me all together and I think in less then a week he found someone else so yes it's going to b hard and as the previous person says it will take time but read this book it's super good

 

Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You:Amazon.co.uk:Books

[dyna85]

You've come so far. Keep going. As far as when the intense feelings will fade, God only knows, but your job is to just keep going. Make sure you keep busy and stay active doing things that you enjoy, even if it hurts and you feel pain when doing so.

 

 

I don't think the feelings necessarily turn off after a heated argument, but I think many relationships do end in the heat of the moment, as evidenced by various stories of members here on the forum.

 

 

It probably hurts more if you were expecting to hear from him. That's the worst.. when there's a real lack of closure and you're hoping to hear from the person at some point and so many days/weeks/months pass and you get nothing. However, breaking contact will not help achieve that closure, as it seems you know, given that you've made it to day 50.

 

 

If I could give you any advice, it would be to spend as much time as possible going about life and as little time as possible ruminating/dwelling on the painful feelings you're experiencing along the way. I know it's easier said than done, but it is rather critical to keep living as you would under normal experiences, and let the pain flow through you as you go about your normal life.

 

 

The worst thing is to hold yourself to a certain deadline in getting 'over it' or in thinking he'll contact you by a certain point. Just keep moving and improving and you'll eventually find your way.

 

 

The fact that you're going to the gym, getting out with friends, and doing well at work shows you're on the right track.

[loveiswar101]

You are doing everything right, so hang in there, it WILL get better.

 

It seems you are counting the days now, 50 days is awesome, but lets forget the counting now, no goal is need here, only goal is moving on and by doing what you are doing now it WILL happen.

[candie13]

day 50 and still moaning. Date. Meet fascinating men. Do stuff you really really enjoy doing. And do let the pain out. If you feel like crying, cry. Don't fight back those bad feelings, let them out. This is how letting go happens.

[kasop]

You are doing everything right, so hang in there, it WILL get better.

 

It seems you are counting the days now, 50 days is awesome, but lets forget the counting now, no goal is need here, only goal is moving on and by doing what you are doing now it WILL happen.

 

I agree about counting days. I think we count until we really realize that they are not coming back. Stoping the day count is a good step in moving on.

[OldSoul86]

I honestly thought by now it would start getting easier. But most of all I thought I would have heard from him. He deleted all my friends from social media and his friends deleted me. The one time that I seen him he looked right at me and looked away. He ended the relationship. Can someone just turn their feelings of after a heated argument.

 

I throw myself into the gym, I go out with friends and I'm doing bloody brilliant in work. But nothing is taking away this ache, when does it start fading??

 

You don't go no contact in the hopes that you'll hear from him. You go no contact so that you can move on to something better for you. Take it from me, you need to let go of hope with this person. If you stay rooted to hope then you'll never move on and find happiness with someone else. The choice is yours - move on, or be stuck perpetually.

[The Poster]

Hang in there! It took me 3 months (relationship was only 2 and a half months) to really start feeling better. And in a lot of ways, each month was worst than that last until the fog lifted.

 

You'll get there with a little patience. You're doing very well. Just keep going!

 

Best of luck to you.

[Yummm]

Hang in there! It took me 3 months (relationship was only 2 and a half months) to really start feeling better. And in a lot of ways, each month was worst than that last until the fog lifted.

 

You'll get there with a little patience. You're doing very well. Just keep going!

 

Best of luck to you.

 

Wow mate, I just read all your old threads and you are the only person who has made me tear up in about a month...

 

Your posts, your scenario, so similar to mine, so painful!

 

I'm really glad you're doing better, are you able to give an update on how you're feeling? I'm almost 7 weeks post break up and feeling more content, accepting things are the way they are and I need to find happiness in myself, but it just seems like day by day is so monotonous, this cloud won't pass!

 

Have a read through my thread if you have the time! http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/530753-much-appreciated

 

@OP - Alot of us are feeling the same way, hang in there, I too hope it will pass!

[mossycup]

I'm at 7. 5 weeks which I think is close to 50 days. I go out with friends and forget for a while, have a nice time. I enjoy my life when I don't think about him. But when I think of him, or when I am not distracted, or even sometimes when I am with friends, the ache and the confusion still arise. It seemed we were happy together and then he bailed. Why? I still don't understand, not really. I realized today that I simply can't understand, I must just accept. My love for him is like a weight in my heart. It honestly has not changed or lessoned one bit in 7.5 weeks. My initial shock is more worn off, but my love is still 100%. I truly thought he was my soulmate; I never trusted anyone so much. I still feel like he is only just ignoring me, rather than having left me, but of course I have to always remind myself, he is likely moving on and it is foolish of me to think of us as merely separated by fate. We are separated by his choice, and I need to accept it, even if I don't understand. And maybe what I thought was a happy relationship and he described as a happy relationship, every day saying it was great until the day he left, basically, saying I was the only one forever, until he suddenly said he never meant any of it and that I could have been anyone, maybe I was just deluded. I don't know. I am at a point where I just keep going, and I'm not sure I even expect to get over this. I can't imagine the future very well, although I set positive intentions for a man who really does love me and want to commit. Anyway, because I loved him, I have to respect his choice, and move on without him. Rationally, the brain works in such a way that I will EVENTUALLY get over him. I mean, that's just how it works, I think.