GTR King Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 (edited) I am average looking (Not fat or ugly) I have spoken to some good looking girls before & dated some. I usually go for the average girls (not fat/ugly ones) But most of the good looking girls (in my area) wants a man with a beard (Can get that) tattoos (Don't want any and will never get any done) & works out 4-5 times a week and have loads of muscles (Don't have many & don't work out much) Same for the good looking men they want tatted girl and one's that works out/has loads of muscles etc... better to go for someone who likes you for who you are etc... looks aren't everything Edited June 23, 2015 by GTR King Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 Women don't mind being nervous because a guy is that good looking. It may make them more nervous, but it's better to have the excitement than not. Link to post Share on other sites
mongo Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 lol well theres my problem. im just too handsome. Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 Wow, sorry to hear that but it seems to confirm the theory/reality many of us have been referencing in this thread. So, you weren't reluctant to date him starting out? Did it take a while before you agreed to go out with him? In regards to your theory though...who is it really a problem for - the really good looking guy or the jealous insecure women who date him? I would say the later. For a really good looking guy, its likely a case of easy come easy go. There are plenty of eager prospects to replace the girl that couldn't handle being with him. The example I gave with my sisters and their friends firs your OP, but they were average to a bit above average in looks and basically average in lifestyle/ambitions, whereas the guys were 'hot' (they lucked out dating him/sleeping with him). If the girls were beautiful babes and used to having great looking guys chat them up then chances are they would not have gone all weird when it came to going out with those guys. I would say its a symptom of a gap in 'leagues'. I don't know, I'm not a great looking guy so I don't know if all women lose their cool with them. I knew guys who were though and noticed the effect you described somewhat with young women (16-22 where so many are insecure) but after that not really, as the guys generally had very attractive women as gfs, so there was no attraction imbalance. The gfs were also hot an knew it. I really cannot see too many really good looking men (or women) wish they were average in looks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author danmillar Posted June 24, 2015 Author Share Posted June 24, 2015 I went to a social mixer on sunday evening, and experienced the same type of perplexing behavior I encounter from time to time. Girls were staring at me on the dance floor, then "accidentally" bumping into me. Once I tried talking to them, they refused to even talk to me. Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 Women don't mind being nervous because a guy is that good looking. It may make them more nervous, but it's better to have the excitement than not. That's what a lot of women will call chemistry I bet. Link to post Share on other sites
Author danmillar Posted June 25, 2015 Author Share Posted June 25, 2015 Meaning, people will sometimes beg and pester you to go out with them, over and over again? I've been in this situation with both women and men. These situations are starting to escalate for me, and it's becoming harder and harder for me to be polite with them. Link to post Share on other sites
doeblin Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 This is like your second thread about this theme of yours. You are just too amazing. Deal with it. Seriously though... if you give us a specific, detailed story about what happened, people could pitch in. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author danmillar Posted June 25, 2015 Author Share Posted June 25, 2015 A few examples: 1. a young lady approaches me at a social mixer at a nightclub. She re-approaches me 3X later that night, inviting me to another nightclub. Each time, she stays longer and longer. The last time, she asks me several times. She stares continually, and keeps asking, even though I tell her I intend to stay at the current club, instead of leaving with her. She "accidentally" rubs my private parts during the conversation, as well. 2. a bro I had met months and months ago. I see him and talk with him and several other people in a small group, again, at a social mixer. However, I don't recognize him from our previous conversation. He says that I didn't follow up on my commitment to hang out with him, be a wingman, etc. I can't remember who he is at first, then vaguely recall texting him back on multiple occasions that I can't make it out when he invites me. He says I never got back to him, etc. The woman sitting between us is starting to get uncomfortable and actually gets up to leave because of these accusations. Then, SHE gets mad at me saying "why don't you just answer his question?" The reason I can't answer his question is because I didn't even remember him, and don't recall his text messages, nor mine! This is very strange, because he is literally making a scene in front of a group of people because I don't remember him and he is accusing me of flaking on a couple of wingman dates, or something like that. Anyway, just a couple of examples among many. Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 A few times, but "high value"? Nah. One guy I knew liked me (but the feeling wasn't mutual, I'm not into drinking myself into comas on a regular basis...) kept asking and in the end I just shrugged and decided to just go along with it; picked day and time, met at my town's local club - and poof he was gone. Waited there at the table for a few minutes until a few buddies who had seen me being all by myself came over and we talked for a while (mind you "for a while" in a girl group is 10 - 20 minutes); still he was nowhere to be seen. I went with my friends afterwards and ended up having my first kiss with a stranger that night; another friend we met a few hours later said she had seen the fella who had invited me being in his usual coma-like-drunk-state in a corner near the bar. As for people I can't remember anymore - usually I just say "Sorry, was too drunk that evening! :laugh:" and maybe meet them some other weekend. Pretty rare though because my memory is pretty good. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author danmillar Posted June 25, 2015 Author Share Posted June 25, 2015 No Limit, I like how you take things in stride and put things in perspective. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
deadelvis Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 a get this a lot. my GF and I always have people clamoring to hang out with us, either individually or as a couple. It seems like people really only want to be our friends because it makes them feel "cool". It's a bit of a pain. Nobody really seems to care about us. They just want to be tagged in a picture with us on facebook. Or some bull**** like that. Being and attractive couple with lots of tattoos and a reputation for being "cool" is a bit over-rated. It's nice being respected and getting attention from people, always being invited to do things etc. but sometimes it just feels like it's because everyone wants to be us. When people find out we aren't interested in doing a 3way or becoming BFF's they seem let down and hurt. Honestly I'm pretty over it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author danmillar Posted June 25, 2015 Author Share Posted June 25, 2015 a get this a lot. my GF and I always have people clamoring to hang out with us, either individually or as a couple. It seems like people really only want to be our friends because it makes them feel "cool". It's a bit of a pain. Nobody really seems to care about us. They just want to be tagged in a picture with us on facebook. Or some bull**** like that. Being and attractive couple with lots of tattoos and a reputation for being "cool" is a bit over-rated. It's nice being respected and getting attention from people, always being invited to do things etc. but sometimes it just feels like it's because everyone wants to be us. When people find out we aren't interested in doing a 3way or becoming BFF's they seem let down and hurt. Honestly I'm pretty over it. How do you decline invitations? Is there a way to be polite about it? What happens when you see the same people again? Link to post Share on other sites
deadelvis Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 How do you decline invitations? Is there a way to be polite about it? What happens when you see the same people again? I usually just say sometime like "yeah we should totally hang out, I'm really busy right now but I'll let you know next time we're going out" Then I take their number and just never call them. But I never agree to meet at any specific time or event because realistically I would probably not want to go and feel like I'm only going because I promised I would go. My ex used to always agree to hanging out with people (usually when drunk) and then have to cancel and seem like a bitch. Or even worse she would have to go hang out with them just because she made a drunk promise. Never make plans. They you never have to cancel them. Always be vague. "sometime soon" is always better than "this weekend". Because 95% of the time "sometime soon" never happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Author danmillar Posted June 25, 2015 Author Share Posted June 25, 2015 I usually just say sometime like "yeah we should totally hang out, I'm really busy right now but I'll let you know next time we're going out" Then I take their number and just never call them. But I never agree to meet at any specific time or event because realistically I would probably not want to go and feel like I'm only going because I promised I would go. My ex used to always agree to hanging out with people (usually when drunk) and then have to cancel and seem like a bitch. Or even worse she would have to go hang out with them just because she made a drunk promise. Never make plans. They you never have to cancel them. Always be vague. "sometime soon" is always better than "this weekend". Because 95% of the time "sometime soon" never happens. Yeah, this is my 'go to' strategy: be polite, say "we'll hang out sometime" take a number and that'll be it. But even then, some people get upset, try to make a scene, or sometimes just won't go away unless I leave with them on the spot. Honestly I think I've done the best I can. Link to post Share on other sites
loveweary11 Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 Well, I can see why you are single. Jen? Single??? :lmao::lmao: Wrong insult for her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77 Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 Yeah, this is my 'go to' strategy: be polite, say "we'll hang out sometime" take a number and that'll be it. But even then, some people get upset, try to make a scene, or sometimes just won't go away unless I leave with them on the spot. Honestly I think I've done the best I can. Such a hard life But seriously, on a scale of 9.99 to 10, how 'too' good looking do you rate yourself to be? I'm just wondering because in all honesty, the most good looking guys I've met didn't even seem to be aware of it, or even care all that much; they just were, you know... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author danmillar Posted June 25, 2015 Author Share Posted June 25, 2015 Such a hard life But seriously, on a scale of 9.99 to 10, how 'too' good looking do you rate yourself to be? I'm just wondering because in all honesty, the most good looking guys I've met didn't even seem to be aware of it, or even care all that much; they just were, you know... Ha ha, no, a numerical scale won't work. I have occasionally spoken to other "good looking guys" who are very successful with women. I tried comparing my experiences with theirs. As in, has a woman ever done x, y or z to you? Their response is "never." Link to post Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77 Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 Ha ha, no, a numerical scale won't work. I have occasionally spoken to other "good looking guys" who are very successful with women. I tried comparing my experiences with theirs. As in, has a woman ever done x, y or z to you? Their response is "never." Okay. You should probs enjoy it while it lasts then, because these things tend to fade after a while . Link to post Share on other sites
deadelvis Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 being able to date gorgeous women is nice. My girlfriend is brutally hot. Also having the option of doing threesomes was a nice perk. But I'm not so into that anymore. Being attractive is pretty amazing. There's no denying it. Link to post Share on other sites
Davey L Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 What a load of tosh. I've seen guys I would have considered very handsome in long term relationships with ugly women. And I'm pretty average but I've dated some extremely good-looking women, and some very ugly ones too. But the strange thing is sometimes you are with an ugly woman and after some time you see her as beautiful. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 What a load of tosh. I've seen guys I would have considered very handsome in long term relationships with ugly women. And I'm pretty average but I've dated some extremely good-looking women, and some very ugly ones too. But the strange thing is sometimes you are with an ugly woman and after some time you see her as beautiful. I think I love you. Link to post Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77 Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 What a load of tosh. I've seen guys I would have considered very handsome in long term relationships with ugly women. And I'm pretty average but I've dated some extremely good-looking women, and some very ugly ones too. But the strange thing is sometimes you are with an ugly woman and after some time you see her as beautiful. Probs best not to shatter this young man's illusions - he's 'too good looking', you see... 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 Probs best not to shatter this young man's illusions - he's 'too good looking', you see... It`s not easy....... No mirror is safe with me....... (Apart from the one i dropped after attempting to check my `Crown` was still supplying my hair the way it should) 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Timshel Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 I wonder if your dating opportunities might be a bit better for men who are average looking (not ugly, but average), in comparison to very good looking men. My experience is that women are more comfortable and relaxed around guys who are average looking or just a bit above average. The better looking you are, the higher the possibility of her getting nervous, not trusting herself, feeling "not good enough," or otherwise not being able to relax enough to enjoy her time with you. Fortunately, I now have 10 lbs to lose so perhaps women feel more comfortable with me. Women, do you have experiences with this? Hahahaha, o.k. People/women relax when you do. Take a breath, smile and muster interest in other people. Beauty and good looks are both in the 'eye of the beholder' and a 'dime a dozen.' When you open your mouth to conversation, hopefully you are engaging and kind. The level of interest from women, IMO, will be reflected back in common interests and how comfortable you are to be around. I think you are mislead believing that your attractiveness is intimidating to women, rather, your preoccupation with looks may be. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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