Why do people continue dating, relationships, and sex, over 30?

[ZA Dater]

And that jealousy, envy, and bitterness will make sure you never get to experience dating, relationships, or sex for the rest of your days if you keep it up.

 

You really need to man up and stop worrying about what other people get to do that you don't. When there is something you want in life, instead of complaining about other people having what you don't, you need to make the changes necessary in your own life to earn it.

 

I agree with everything here barring the bold, I don't think dating is something one earns, its a force of nature, you meet someone, connect with them and go from there. Dating sites are full of people who have tried really hard but still don't come right much of the time.

 

For whatever reason some people are more marketable but to determine how marketable one is, one needs to actually try, that's my suggestion to the OP: TRY.

[baco]

Same ones? Same dose?

 

If yes, you need to speak to your doctor about changing the brand/dosage, because I think after a while they become ineffective.

 

A friend of mine is bi-polar: She has a review of medication every 6 months or so, because of the body's ability to become inured to the effect of it. Sometimes she remains on the same, with adjusted dosage. On one occasion, her Doctor/psychiatrist changed her meds completely....

 

I agree, you should talk to your doctor about this feelings, if you are being medicated and you are experiencing worsening of your symptoms don't delay it, specially if you are feeling helpless and hopeless, take care of your health, mental and physical.

 

If you have depression I know how it feels to be in your shoes, I've been there, still go there sometimes and our view of reality get's totally distorted, depression does not let you have a clear vision of reality, get better, start seeing a bit clearer and then evaluate things, give it time.

 

Depression does not discriminate either, there may be some triggers, but it's a disease that may affect everyone, even those who have everything that you want, so don't think that finding a relantionship or sex is going to magically solve all your problems, it's like thinking that winning the lottery is going to cure diabetes.

 

If you are not depressed, just try to open up a bit, what is the worse that can happen ? Be rejected ?

[jen1447]

To me it has always seemed that dating, relationships, sex, is something primarily young people do, as in teens and 20's, etc.

Do you seriously think that people over age 30 tend to not have much sex or be in relationships?

[GorillaTheater]

Why do people continue dating, having relationships, sex, in their 30's, 40's, 50's, and beyond?

 

Why is it that a person is never too old to have a boyfriend/girlfriend, companionship, etc.?

 

I have a kid as old as you, and had crazy sex with her mom yesterday morning.

 

Why? Because we could.

[TaraMaiden2]

I have a kid as old as you, and had crazy sex with her mom yesterday morning.

 

Why? Because we could.

 

So our date's off tonight then, ol' timer...?

 

Boy you sure know how to hurt a gal.....

[GorillaTheater]

So our date's off tonight then, ol' timer...?

 

Boy you sure know how to hurt a gal.....

 

 

If a dessicated husk like me can pull chicks, no one has an excuse.

[TaraMaiden2]

I'm a chick now.....? well pullet then!

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

Do you seriously think that people over age 30 tend to not have much sex or be in relationships?

 

Whenever i go out, most couples look like they are in their teens or 20's, or just they are the most noticeable ones

[jen1447]

Is it fair to say that as a person in his 20s, you spend a fair amount of time where other people in their 20s are? Also, how do the couples you see in public pertain to the likelihood of sexual activity in any age group?

[Gloria25]

Its like I want a relationship but at the same time feel unmotivated to take action to get one due to not having had one earlier

 

Well, there's give and take.

 

I get your position...I believe that in order for me to have someone, I would have to get used to having someone call/text and/or be around me all the time. I may have to consider getting married and/or having kids. Hence, why I am still single in my 30's. I have yet to give up my lifestyle to allow someone else in it.

 

Cuz, sad thing is it's rare to find someone who will just "date" you w/o you having to put in much effort. Well, then there are escorts. Shoot, maybe a sugar baby might be an option for you too cuz they aren't around all the time - yet appear to give the companionship and sex w/o you having to put much effort in the RL.

 

I think men are at an advantage here. I mean, I've tried FWBs and casual things and like the thread I was responding to the other day, the guys want to treat you terribly as a FWB. They don't even wanna buy you a drink. They call you when they call you.

 

So, I gotta choose between a real RL - where I'd have to put more effort in the RL and open up my heart and finances to someone...OR, continue to be poorly treated in temporary FWB/casual situations.

 

I don't get your position. Again, like it or not - men are at an advantage here. You can get a woman willing to have sex with you w/o a ring. You can get them to shack up with you and even cook/clean for you and never marry them. You can get FWBs and have them at home waiting for your call.

 

You have many options to have a low-effort RL than you think - just cuz you're a man.

Edited June 22, 2015 by Gloria25

[candie13]

Whenever i go out, most couples look like they are in their teens or 20's, or just they are the most noticeable ones

 

you obviously don't hang out in the right places

[candie13]

Nope, never had a relationship before

 

so basically, you just wait until you turn 30 and so that you can continue doing the same ol' comfortable things that you did before, none of it including women, dating or taking any chances.

 

oooohhhhhh, so you were expecting some replies in the sense of: yeah, makes sense... didn't get laid until your 30s, you won't get laid after that... sorry, mate, you can always always start everything all over again. Always.

 

kind word of advice: get off our arse, close that pc and go have drinks with your mates. Like now !

[sportygirl89]

I'm 25, so you are saying if I'm 30+ I won't be married? My parents were in 30s and 40s when they got married. Have been married 28 almost 29 years.

 

I have been focused on gaining a career to establish myself so my future kids have a future. Also been an EMT on the side so I have been focused on giving back to my community. It doesn't make me a bad to not be married or engaged by now. I had a boyfriend leave me while I was sick so I didn't want anything for a while.

 

I am now talking to a guy who is 9 years older. That would make him 34 or 35. He spent the last 5-6 years working in another country with his firm.

 

Age is honestly just a number. Those who cannot see it is their loss.

[jsp32020]

Not having a serious relationship going into 30's I could see being a handicap in trying to navigate through things but you have to start at some point. I felt I was a late starter not having a real, dates and having sex together talking about a future girlfriend til I was 21, which lasted 5-6 yrs. I'm in my second serious situation right now with kid and often I feel clueless on what to do (which I've laid out in other sections).

 

But the bottom line is I'm almost 40 and I'm still learning and I tell her that too. If this doesn't work out then I will appreciate the experience and jump back out in the dating world eventually.

 

You've heard it already but just jump and go for it. You'll stumble along that way but 27 is still young, heck find a younger girl if it helps you feel better.

[toscaroscura]

Whenever i go out, most couples look like they are in their teens or 20's, or just they are the most noticeable ones

 

Well what about all those crazy kids' moms and dads? Do you have aunts and uncles? Older couples exist everywhere, you just don't see them. They aren't on your radar.

[Toodaloo]

And I hate to point out that the age bracket currently contracting the most STD's in the UK are the middle aged rockers... Wait don't people have to actually have sex to catch an STD or can you still catch them off of toilet seats...???

 

I despair. I really do.

[elaine567]

It doesn't matter about age, it is all about mental attitude.

Some people act 80 when they are 18, and some act 18 when they are 80.

Old cliché but life IS what you make it.

[Toodaloo]

It doesn't matter about age, it is all about mental attitude.

Some people act 80 when they are 18, and some act 18 when they are 80.

Old cliché but life IS what you make it.

 

I am off to fairy land then because this conversation sucks like a dyson...

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

Not having a serious relationship going into 30's I could see being a handicap in trying to navigate through things but you have to start at some point. I felt I was a late starter not having a real, dates and having sex together talking about a future girlfriend til I was 21, which lasted 5-6 yrs. I'm in my second serious situation right now with kid and often I feel clueless on what to do (which I've laid out in other sections).

 

But the bottom line is I'm almost 40 and I'm still learning and I tell her that too. If this doesn't work out then I will appreciate the experience and jump back out in the dating world eventually.

 

You've heard it already but just jump and go for it. You'll stumble along that way but 27 is still young, heck find a younger girl if it helps you feel better.

 

I guess its because I feel being 27 and still single will make all girls avoid me due to my inexperience, and the bitterness, depression, frustration, of being a late bloomer and behind compared to most peopld my age, as much as people always say don't compare yourself to others, its just painful feeling behind and nothing you can do about it because i will always be a late starter, I feel handicaps me from doing something about my situation, I don't know how to let it stop me from feeling like this so I can finally take consistent, massive action, gain momentum to fix this negative situation of mine.

[MidwestUSA]

I am off to fairy land then because this conversation sucks like a dyson...

 

 

Girl, a Dyson has nothing on a Shark.

[jsp32020]

I guess its because I feel being 27 and still single will make all girls avoid me due to my inexperience, and the bitterness, depression, frustration, of being a late bloomer and behind compared to most peopld my age, as much as people always say don't compare yourself to others, its just painful feeling behind and nothing you can do about it because i will always be a late starter, I feel handicaps me from doing something about my situation, I don't know how to let it stop me from feeling like this so I can finally take consistent, massive action, gain momentum to fix this negative situation of mine.

 

Yeah man I understand the feeling, I felt the same way once I hit my 20's as all of my friends and people in my circles had been dealing with girls since high school I had to sit there and play along like I was doing it too. Eventually I got on board and you will too. Your 27, just a few years north of mid 20's, still young. You start dating today and by 40 you won't care as much about starting late, it won't matter then, everybody's going to have character flaws and hey if you're still learning like I am then you'll be fine.

 

Take a sigh of relief, relax and move forward. Just in the few days I've been on this site I've seen a lot threads with men in similar situations so surely you should understand that it's more common than you think. There's no magic age, I thought I was late at 21, you think you're late at 27, you have people that have hit 30 and feel it's too late and probably higher than that.

 

There's someone out there for you that will take you just as you are today, you just have to find them. Get active in clubs, other websites, h*ll I personally am not opposed to online dating sites.

 

I know it's all easier said than done and I had/have to coach myself on it but there's only one thing to do and that's to get out there in the world and meet some women, with each experience comes a bit of wisdom.

 

Hope I can help, I'm no expert, I'm over in the rant section crying over my own shortcomings but from late bloomer to late bloomer it can be done just do it.

[hotpotato]

Its like I want a relationship but at the same time feel unmotivated to take action to get one due to not having had one earlier

 

Ok i guess I can relate to this a,little i have dated, but ive been single for two years. Right now it seems easier for me to stay single rather than try to find someone. Therrs a lot id have to give up at this point. Bow that im approaching 30, im a lot less interested in having kids. I went through the hassles in my 20s bc i wanted kids and a family so badly. Now i feel like im getting older and getting past all that. I like to say that i have adapted to singledom.

[MissBee]

Why do people continue dating, having relationships, sex, in their 30's, 40's, 50's, and beyond?

 

Why is it that a person is never too old to have a boyfriend/girlfriend, companionship, etc.?

 

To me it has always seemed that dating, relationships, sex, is something primarily young people do, as in teens and 20's, etc.

 

I feel experiencing dating, relationships, sex, in your teens or 20's is a huge, critical growth stage period in a persons life and if you haven't done it by a certain age, then you very likely won't live a normal life.

 

I will admit, it often gets annoying and irritating to me whenever people say its never too late, you have plenty of time, better late than never, its not a race, etc.

 

Because they are still alive and life doesn't just end romantically or sexually after 30.

 

Especially in this day and age when people live longer 30 how it was 100 years ago isn't the same as 30 now.

 

You're never too old unless you want to be. You are of course free to pack up shop and lay down and die at 30 plus but others aren't and there is no reason they should be.

[lino]

They do because they can and because they want to.

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

Yeah man I understand the feeling, I felt the same way once I hit my 20's as all of my friends and people in my circles had been dealing with girls since high school I had to sit there and play along like I was doing it too. Eventually I got on board and you will too. Your 27, just a few years north of mid 20's, still young. You start dating today and by 40 you won't care as much about starting late, it won't matter then, everybody's going to have character flaws and hey if you're still learning like I am then you'll be fine.

 

Take a sigh of relief, relax and move forward. Just in the few days I've been on this site I've seen a lot threads with men in similar situations so surely you should understand that it's more common than you think. There's no magic age, I thought I was late at 21, you think you're late at 27, you have people that have hit 30 and feel it's too late and probably higher than that.

 

There's someone out there for you that will take you just as you are today, you just have to find them. Get active in clubs, other websites, h*ll I personally am not opposed to online dating sites.

 

I know it's all easier said than done and I had/have to coach myself on it but there's only one thing to do and that's to get out there in the world and meet some women, with each experience comes a bit of wisdom.

 

Hope I can help, I'm no expert, I'm over in the rant section crying over my own shortcomings but from late bloomer to late bloomer it can be done just do it.

 

If I can fix my issues with women, I would like to experience dating and being in a relationship with women in their early 20's, because I want to experience dating the type of girls I feel I missed out on