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Why do people continue dating, relationships, and sex, over 30?

BronzeAgeJaeger217

By BronzeAgeJaeger217
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ZA Dater Established Member

ZA Dater

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If I can fix my issues with women, I would like to experience dating and being in a relationship with women in their early 20's, because I want to experience dating the type of girls I feel I missed out on

 

This struck a chord with me and I feel much like you do. My advice is you need to be proactive, 27 isn't that old I wish I was 27 again because I perhaps wouldn't feel like the complete looser I do know if I had perhaps, I dunno perhaps been a bit more lucky I guess.

 

 

I think any decision or course of action you take should be with a positive mind and with the view that the experience will contribute to your happiness.

 

 

My advice is, try your best, even if you feel like sometimes you don't get anywhere, perhaps you will find that magic person but if you don't, keep trying until you can walk away safe in the knowledge that you tried.

 

 

That's where I am now, reasonably content that I did the best I could.

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misspond Established Member

misspond

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This struck a chord with me and I feel much like you do. My advice is you need to be proactive, 27 isn't that old I wish I was 27 again because I perhaps wouldn't feel like the complete looser I do know if I had perhaps, I dunno perhaps been a bit more lucky I guess.

 

 

I think any decision or course of action you take should be with a positive mind and with the view that the experience will contribute to your happiness.

 

 

My advice is, try your best, even if you feel like sometimes you don't get anywhere, perhaps you will find that magic person but if you don't, keep trying until you can walk away safe in the knowledge that you tried.

 

 

That's where I am now, reasonably content that I did the best I could.

 

Slightly off topic but I am liking the stance you are taking in posts recently ZA Dater, it reads as though you are being more pragmatic and I think that this will be good for you in the long run.

 

As for the OP, yes, maybe you would feel as though you'd regain some ground by being able to date a woman in her early 20's so that you'd get some of the excitement you feel you've missed out on. But maybe you'll meet a woman of a similar age to yourself who also feels she missed out? then you could explore together?

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BronzeAgeJaeger217 Established Member

BronzeAgeJaeger217

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Slightly off topic but I am liking the stance you are taking in posts recently ZA Dater, it reads as though you are being more pragmatic and I think that this will be good for you in the long run.

 

As for the OP, yes, maybe you would feel as though you'd regain some ground by being able to date a woman in her early 20's so that you'd get some of the excitement you feel you've missed out on. But maybe you'll meet a woman of a similar age to yourself who also feels she missed out? then you could explore together?

 

Another reason why I'm skeptical or reluctant to date girls over 25, late 20's and up because I think those type of girls are looking for something serious and want to get married or settle down, which I don't want yet

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BronzeAgeJaeger217 Established Member

BronzeAgeJaeger217

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That's why I started another thread, its locked now, I said I feel its easier for women to enjoy their youth more than men are, because women are very unlikely to be single for 25+ years since they are on the receiving end of life.

ZA Dater Established Member

ZA Dater

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Slightly off topic but I am liking the stance you are taking in posts recently ZA Dater, it reads as though you are being more pragmatic and I think that this will be good for you in the long run.

 

As for the OP, yes, maybe you would feel as though you'd regain some ground by being able to date a woman in her early 20's so that you'd get some of the excitement you feel you've missed out on. But maybe you'll meet a woman of a similar age to yourself who also feels she missed out? then you could explore together?

 

I don't think my stance has changed dramatically, I have just taken a step back, maybe stared at regrets I have and if one person doesn't make the mistakes I did, then its all good.

 

Would I like someone, yes but I am not selling my soul or changing who I am for the sake of maybe finding someone where is mutual attraction.

 

For me the risk for people like the op and me us that you simply don't have the social experience so you try pander to what we think people like.

 

Looking back if I could reverse something it would be to conform more.

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BronzeAgeJaeger217 Established Member

BronzeAgeJaeger217

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I don't think my stance has changed dramatically, I have just taken a step back, maybe stared at regrets I have and if one person doesn't make the mistakes I did, then its all good.

 

Would I like someone, yes but I am not selling my soul or changing who I am for the sake of maybe finding someone where is mutual attraction.

 

For me the risk for people like the op and me us that you simply don't have the social experience so you try pander to what we think people like.

 

Looking back if I could reverse something it would be to conform more.

 

I remember a person made me mad when they said to me:

 

 

"realize that plenty of people are still looking for love in their 50's. Sure, they might not be virgins or inexperienced, but being older has not stopped them."

guest569 Established Member

guest569

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That's why I started another thread, its locked now, I said I feel its easier for women to enjoy their youth more than men are, because women are very unlikely to be single for 25+ years since they are on the receiving end of life.

 

Well I was single, never dated, never held hands with a man until I was 25. I still enjoyed my youth.

 

I was a bit frightened to put myself out there and had been rejected in the past, so i made excuses . In other words, i didnt want it enough. By 25 i decided to change it and its as simple as that. If you really want to date, sex, relationshiups you will. But right now it sounds like you are not ready and something is holding you back.

 

Once I gained some relationship experience, i realise that I was exactly the same person i was when I was single. A partner does not = happiness

elaine567 Established Member

elaine567

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I remember a person made me mad when they said to me:

 

 

"realize that plenty of people are still looking for love in their 50's. Sure, they might not be virgins or inexperienced, but being older has not stopped them."

 

Why does that make you mad?

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BronzeAgeJaeger217 Established Member

BronzeAgeJaeger217

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Why does that make you mad?

 

I guess I've been negatively conditioned by the media, culture, society, with everything it potrays, that dating, relationships, and sex, as something primarily young people do, but I feel i'm slowly removing this mindset from this thread, i'd been away from working with my personal trainer at the gym for a while

elaine567 Established Member

elaine567

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Looking back if I could reverse something it would be to conform more.

 

Well, you have the opportunity to do that right now, this minute, this hour. If things are not working - change.

 

You are still too rigid in your thinking, IMV.

 

YOU are holding out for this 5'7-5'9, slim, intelligent, pretty, girl who is into the same things you are into, and in your mind you will ride off into the sunset together.

BUT anyone who has had any kind of a dating history has kissed a lot of frogs before they find "the one".

BUT those frogs are not a total waste of time, they are all part of the learning process.

Open your mind to all sorts of girls, you may be surprised who "the one" for you actually turns out to be.

 

Take a risk, dive off that pier - you have been walking along it deep in thought, for far too long.

elaine567 Established Member

elaine567

Posted
Posted (edited)
I guess I've been negatively conditioned by the media, culture, society, with everything it potrays, that dating, relationships, and sex, as something primarily young people do, but I feel i'm slowly removing this mindset from this thread, i'd been away from working with my personal trainer at the gym for a while

 

Just stop thinking that way. It is a ludicrous way to think.

Many women in their late twenties and older, are also looking for a good time or just dating and are not necessarily looking for "the one"

Stop lumping woman into rigid stereotypes.

 

All women are individuals, women do what they want to do, they like what they like, they are who they are.

Start looking at individual women, assess individual woman and stop listening to the media and what women are supposed to be, supposed to want, supposed to act like... etc. etc.

Edited by elaine567
grammar
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BronzeAgeJaeger217 Established Member

BronzeAgeJaeger217

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Its just too damn difficult to NOT feel insecure for feeling very behind in the dating game compared to most people my age, easier said than done to not compare myself to others

Rejected Rosebud Established Member

Rejected Rosebud

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I guess I've been negatively conditioned by the media, culture, society, with everything it potrays, that dating, relationships, and sex, as something primarily young people do, but I feel i'm slowly removing this mindset from this thread, i'd been away from working with my personal trainer at the gym for a while
You are seeing what you want to see it's called confirmation bias, people who want to have sex and be in love and all that are likely to still want that stuff all their life!
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BronzeAgeJaeger217 Established Member

BronzeAgeJaeger217

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You are seeing what you want to see it's called confirmation bias, people who want to have sex and be in love and all that are likely to still want that stuff all their life!

And that's why I feel its not worth to ever experience having a girlfriend in my life because I feel if I ever do get a girlfriend, and I'm out there with her in public, and I see guys younger than me with their girlfriend, holding hands, kissing, it will be a painful, bitter, sad reminder of what I missed out on earlier and will never get back

elaine567 Established Member

elaine567

Posted
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And that's why I feel its not worth to ever experience having a girlfriend in my life because I feel if I ever do get a girlfriend, and I'm out there with her in public, and I see guys younger than me with their girlfriend, holding hands, kissing, it will be a painful, bitter, sad reminder of what I missed out on earlier and will never get back

 

Well you'll never get back being 27 again.

YOU don't want to be 37, 47, 57... looking back at all the time you spent moaning, when you could be out there having fun with youth still on your side.

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BronzeAgeJaeger217 Established Member

BronzeAgeJaeger217

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Well you'll never get back being 27 again.

YOU don't want to be 37, 47, 57... looking back at all the time you spent moaning, when you could be out there having fun with youth still on your side.

 

ya obviously that's the cold harsh truth, it's leaving and putting it all behind, never looking back is that hardest thing for me to do

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