LifeNomad Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 we split almost a year ago, after trying to get her back, it took me some months to gather myself and play "hardball" (no contact, find a girlfriend, basically leave the ex alone) we only talk about the kids when necessary and that's it. She calls I give the phone to kids to answer since I assume its for them. Although I still think about her a lot and still cry when I think about her, I don't show it and am moving on. Anyways, when we need to talk about the kids or whatever I keep it strictly 100% short and simple just down to the basics, but I notice she will ask questions that catch me off guard, things like "oh were you sleeping?", or "are you ok? your voice sounds different", or "are you sick or what?" little minor things that deviate from our conversation I reply a simple yes or no and quickly bring back topic so I can close convo quickly. Truth is it hurts me to talk to her but I don't show it, and since I have a gf im guessing she assumes im 100% happy, just the same way I assume shes 100% happy with the dude she left me for. Anyways, I cant help but wonder why would ask or care about little things like that, I brush it off and moved on, heck I have a girl living with me now but those little things sometimes stay on my mind more than they should. Anyways, open to any thoughts or opinion :\ Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 Anyways, when we need to talk about the kids or whatever I keep it strictly 100% short and simple just down to the basics, but I notice she will ask questions that catch me off guard, things like "oh were you sleeping?", or "are you ok? your voice sounds different", or "are you sick or what?" little minor things that deviate from our conversation I'd guess they're just conversational transitions, no different than "have a nice day" or "see you later". Don't read anything into it, just word fillers. I've had the same meaningless chitchat with my ex over the years, not that I have any interest in her responses. Keep moving on... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Decimated Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 I was dealing with the same probing shallow conversations from my XWW. She would constantly call or text for something kid related but would quickly attempt to segue into a personal conversation. She would also flirt with me when she would pickup the kids...but that's a different story. As the betrayed X, talking with her was not allowing me to emotionally move on. Just hearing her voice would set me back. It was hindering my healing. She would skillfully say things that made me feel as if she wanted to come back and missed me. She would also fish for compliments and validation. The communications would keep her front and center on my mind. I'm sure she knew that. I'm guessing that she just wanted to keep me in orbit...a backup plan, in case her single life didn't work out. I decided to stop taking her calls and texts. I told her that I would not answer her calls anymore and I would only respond to her texts if they were kid related. Doing this has greatly helped me to move forward. Now that my oldest son has his drivers licence, the kids drive themselves back and forth. She has no excuse to come to my house anymore. Not seeing her has also helped immensely. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LifeNomad Posted June 24, 2015 Author Share Posted June 24, 2015 that's exactly how I feel, like it sets me back. Her voice sometimes sounds like the old voice I remember when it felt like love, and sometimes I dunno cant help but feel she sounds sad or theres something she wants to say, but I honestly don't want to know. Link to post Share on other sites
Decimated Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 that's exactly how I feel, like it sets me back. Her voice sometimes sounds like the old voice I remember when it felt like love, and sometimes I dunno cant help but feel she sounds sad or theres something she wants to say, but I honestly don't want to know. I could have wrote this too. I also noticed she would call or text and when she got her fix of conversation/validation, she would disappear for a another 5 days to a week. It's as if she was using me to recharge herself or make herself feel better about what she did to us. I guess, in her mind, if I was still talking to her...I must still care/love her. That would make me a backup plan. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts