anika99 Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 I know everyone here thinks I'm a fool and all of this has just happened so fast. The really hard part of all of this is she is kicking him out and he is still clinging to that house because I think as long as he is there he is connected to her. He loves her more than he loves me and I will have to decide if I want to move forward knowing that or annull the marriage even though he says he loves me. WTH?!! You know he loves her more than he loves you and you're still considering carrying on in this joke of a marriage? Forget about telling the OW's husband, just annul this damn fake marriage and get on with your life. You have kids for God's sake! Why are you bringing this ridiculous drama into your life? Link to post Share on other sites
still_an_Angel Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 Well here is the latest. This is starting to read like a bad paperback. I talked to her today and I told her I was going to contact her husband. She told me she has asked him to leave and told him it is not normal for him not to want to live with his new wife. She threatened to turn off the utilities if he wouldn't go and he told her if she did he would tell her husband. She also offered to take care of the dog until we found a new place. She said she would be there a lot working on the house so the dog would not even be alone a lot. According to her he hung up on her. She said she just wants a clean break but he won't talk to her. She said she would not want to do this but if either of us contacted her husband, she had nothing to lose and she would file an affidavit with ICE that this was a fraudulent marriage. Also in this state she said that delivery of marijuana was a felony (not selling it just delivering it)and since i had brought him marijuana at her house she would file charges. I looked it up, it can carry up to a 10 year sentence. She said she had asked him to leave and she did not like being blackmailed and if we ruined her life she would take us down with her. What a mess this is becoming. I have a very good job and I can't afford to be drug tested. I would lose my job. What are you waiting for? You need to act now, get your marriage annulled and get him out of your life! This is nothing but trouble and you cannot put your kids through police, drugs, immigration and god knows what else. I'm not in the US so I don't know what actions against you can immigration take seeing that you are carrying on this "marriage" and not informing them of the real situation. Please wake up greencard, you have children who are relying on you! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 I know everyone here thinks I'm a fool and all of this has just happened so fast. The really hard part of all of this is she is kicking him out and he is still clinging to that house because I think as long as he is there he is connected to her. He loves her more than he loves me and I will have to decide if I want to move forward knowing that or annull the marriage even though he says he loves me. I find it pretty amazing that A LOT of your posts here are copied and pasted - word for word - to another message board where you're also posting this same exact story - right down to the replies. Hmmm. Just seems odd is all. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author greencardgirl Posted June 24, 2015 Author Share Posted June 24, 2015 I find it pretty amazing that A LOT of your posts here are copied and pasted - word for word - to another message board where you're also posting this same exact story - right down to the replies. Hmmm. Just seems odd is all. Lois you are absolutely right. I'm going to come clean and I will probably get kicked off of here for it. This forum was a little slow for me not a lot of answers very quickly and I wanted a lot of opinions. The part about being confused and panicked is true. Who I am is not. Everything I have said I have either personally witnessed or I have had personal knowledge of, so the story is true. The details are accurate. I am the other woman. The reason I did not post as her is because I wanted opinions that were not geared towards me and my position, because I didn't want it slanted in my direction. I wanted to state the facts and I wanted a lot of help as quickly as I could get it. People who have affairs are pariahs in this society, regardless of the circumstances. I didn't want what you said to be influenced by that. I wanted to get just an overall outlook on the whole thing. I didn't want to be central I wanted to take myself out of it. I hope you can understand that. My story is a long one and I take full responsibility for my actions. I get what I get for doing what I did. I have actually posted to a third board, but this time as myself. Thank you all for giving me the information I was seeking and I'm sorry to have deceived you but I needed opinions that were not biased towards me. I have done my best to accurately describe the situation from her standpoint. I have had several very very long conversations with her about it. I thought she had the right to know and while I understand his want for a green card, he has absolutely no life without it, he is a dog for deceiving her the way he did and she is an idiot for falling for it. Does he love me, yes I think he does as much as he is capable of. Do I still love him, yes, you don't fall out of love after 7 years overnight. Do I think he is lacking in character, yes I do. As far as what will happen I really don't know. I have asked him to leave and he absolutely refuses. Yesterday I told him I would take care of the dog. I'm going to put the house up for rent so I have a lot of work to do and I will be with the dog a lot. I love the dog very much he was a birthday gift from me to him. He says he will be out in 60 days that they will rent a place together. He also told me that when he leaves it will be the saddest day of his life. He has been here 3 years and when he came over we were hoping for amnesty and that he would be covered, but of course that didn't happen. He told me a few months ago that he would probably have to get married but it was the last thing he wanted to do. I let him come over here because he told me he had no interest in ever getting married. His life over there did not seem that good so I thought he wants to come and apparently isn't really leaving anything behind. I also told him anytime he wanted to go back I would get him back home. Right or wrong we have been together because we truly have loved each other. Seven years is a long time for an affair, I think the average affair lasts maybe only 6 months. Our story (the part you don't know about) is actually a very unusual one. This is the first and only affair I have ever had and like everyone else who has ever had an affair, I had my reasons which are long and complicated, at least to me, which is why I posted somewhere else as myself. Again, thank you everyone for your input, it has been invaluable, and even though I did not post in the normal way you helped me through a time of great panic and fear. It's not over yet, I don't know the outcome. I'm just trying to distance myself until things calm down a bit and then maybe everyone involved can be rational and come to grips. Link to post Share on other sites
spanz1 Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 well you did have us going there. sounds pretty screwed up though. I would definitely find a lawyer who is well versed in evicting people. then just have him kicked out. In some states it is very easy, in some more liberal states it is a 3 year P.I.A process...so lawyer up and figure it out. I do not know your own personal involvement with this guy, but if I were you I would try to forget about all that and make a clean break. Do not take the dog, since that would give him a reason to keep calling and visiting you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 I am the other woman. The reason I did not post as her is because I wanted opinions that were not geared towards me and my position, because I didn't want it slanted in my direction. OK, so you're NOT the newly married one....you're the longterm married gf whose bf just got married too, but still visits you (and the dogs) and has sex with you? And you thought that by posing as the new wife, you could get advice and insights that would help you as the left-behind partner (or whatever you are, not trying to label you). Well, that will not work and does not work. As much as we've been telling you (in the old, false persona of the new bride) to get away from this piece of work charming Scot, that does NOT equate to any particular advice for the neglected gf. In fact, my advice to you is basically the same regardless which leg of this triangle you're on - GET OUT! (And the fact that the new wife is also being told to get out doesn't make your situation the slightest bit more tenable. Sorry.) This fellow is trouble on two legs no matter what your posture towards him is. Last thought for you: AUTHENTICITY. It's a thing, try it. The world works better when you see it and call it as it is. Good luck to you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Babs22 Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 Greencard, Since your post was somewhat a farce, I am not sure what is true and what is not true. Obviously you are the a MOW, having an affair for 7 years and the OM has lived here for 3 of those years? Have you actually threatened the Scot's new bride to report her to the police for delivering marijuana if your H is to be told by either the Scot or her about your affair? You seem to know a lot about his new wife, she had a life threatening illness? She has 3 kids? She delivered marijuana to him? It is very possible that this may some how blow up and your husband may find out about your A. I hope you do not truly plan to report the stupid girl who married your OM. You know she is not going to be the one to report to your H. She probably is terrified. I am hoping she comes to her senses soon and does get her M annulled. Perhaps if he stays married to her, it is the best thing for you to get him out of your hair. I don't know. It sure looks like a mess, but then again, maybe 90% of what you just told us isn't true at all. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Lokin4AReason Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 people like this pretend to have feelings and use emotion(s) for their behalf. because of one agenda. the card that they need to stay and work so if it was men IMO, I would like walk away and never look back. because once the paperwork has been filed and the citizenship has been obtained, your left in the cold and abused along w/ feeling used in the long run Link to post Share on other sites
Cephalopod Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 I saw your post on TAM. Link to post Share on other sites
Fleur de cactus Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 I saw your post on TAM. Yes I saw it me to, not sure if it is greencard's post or the other woman. It is interesting to read that you H told the OW that he married you because he wants a green card ..." Link to post Share on other sites
violet1 Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 Update: I am here at work and freaking out, and of course he is at her house with the dog. I told him I want him to come to my house NOW!! He said he would but he is leaving the dog there which means he has to go back. I think you are right about the dog just being an excuse. You are speaking for the new wife too? I'm assuming this is made up as well? I think it's pretty messed up to come on a relationship forum with some made up story. People come here because they are in pain or confused and want genuine advice. You come here pretending to be someone else? Seriously, what kind of person does that? Are you trying to mock people here? I'm not trying to be rude, but you need some serious help. I suggest you see a therapist because your behavior is not normal or healthy. You threatened to ruin their lives if they told your husband? Wow lady! You have some nerve! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Clarence_Boddicker Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 Didn't read all the posts. OP get an annulment. A sham marriage to get someone a green card is a Federal felony offense. You are married to a criminal. Every person who stays past their allowed stay in the US is commuting a crime. Knowingly aiding an illegal is a crime I believe. Link to post Share on other sites
violet1 Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 Didn't read all the posts. OP get an annulment. A sham marriage to get someone a green card is a Federal felony offense. You are married to a criminal. Every person who stays past their allowed stay in the US is commuting a crime. Knowingly aiding an illegal is a crime I believe. Read all her posts. She's not the wife. She's the OW pretending to be the wife. Link to post Share on other sites
spanz1 Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 "she" is probably some 350 lb guy in his mom's basement. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 I saw your post on TAM. She's also posting as a BW on Surviving Infidelity Link to post Share on other sites
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